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Each kid is different

Posted By: homeschooler on 2005-10-01
In Reply to: Anyone homeschool their children and also work at home? - Need help

Hi..Some of these posts presume that every kid can be taught to conform or that there always has to be some REASON that the kid is acting out. Sometimes, it is just a matter of that particular kid's personality, behavior disorders, or learning disorders. I sympathize with you about the phone calls. My daughter is ADHD AND ODD and was/is VERY hyper. She got along OK at home (barely),where she had more freedom to move about, etc., but all hell broke loose when she entered school! At the prekindergarten meeting, the teacher of 28 years stated she had not met a child she could not handle. After two weeks, she was ready to have a nervous breakdown...seriously. My daughter was pulling all sorts of new tricks at school, it seems, because they are not allowed to discipline much, and she quickly learned that she COULD get away with all sorts of stuff she couldn't at home and so had a hayday! I worked very flexible, part-time jobs when the kids were young so I could be there for them, and field all the phone calls from school about my daughter. I felt I couldn't have had a 'real' job with all the phone calls. I also took my daughter out in the 6th grade. The other kids were becoming too cruel about her disabilities. She did very well in a state sponsored, on-line, free, fully-credited program. She tried high school (2,000 kids), in 9th grade and 11th grade. TOTal disaster! She just can't handle it, much as she wishes she could. She is, once again, homeschooled through the State for Senior year. She gets A's instead of F's, is not in trouble all the time. She simply can't handle all the excitement and commotion in a busy setting like school. She is an excellent babysitter and has a job at a grocery store, and, so far, they LOVE her. So, not being able to handle school does not ALWAYS translate into not getting along in LIFE. However, looking back, I wish I had taken a 'real' job, even if part time, with the state or county or city so I would have a retirement plan and benefits, and be able to go to full time now that the kids are almost gone. I would really, really try to keep that job you have. It is getting worse and worse trying to get any sort of benefits working on-line in transcription! I think most of the companies are trying to phase out paying for any extras. I would suggest that you investigate what kind of legal rights you child may have and force the school to do all that they can for your child so that you can work. They should have to find ways to deal with him without calling to 'tattle' to you constantly at work. At the very least, they should not call you until you are off work. Even then, they need to figure out how to deal with him right then and there. By the time your child gets home, he either doesn't remember exactly what caused the disruption at school or is sorry that it happened. It is not fair for him to be getting in trouble at school and then go home and get in trouble AGAIN. (Not to say that you shouldn't try some sort of reward plan for complying or restriction for not complying with school rules, but with a lot of kids this does not work because, when they get into the school environment, they just cannot control themselves. Each kid is different. Experiment and see what works/doesn't work for you.)
There is something called a 504 plan. I think it is a Federal program, so every state probably has it. It is a contract that the parents and teachers work up on how to deal with your child's particular problems. Granted, the teachers will want to just ignore the 'plan'. They don't want to be bothered by the extra trouble, and you have to be pushy about enforcing it. (I never was...too meek.) But it is something you might want to look into. Also, of course, he should be evaluated for behavior problems and learning disorders. Sorry this is so long. I really do sympathize about these situations and am long-winded no matter WHAT anyway!! Good luck!! Again, I would keep the day job!


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