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Guide to Male and Femal English...

Posted By: In my email on 2005-11-07
In Reply to: Joke of the Day - msbeanctr

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

*****************************
THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?"
*****************************


The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain the butt

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam




----------------------------------------------------------
THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH:
----------------------------------------------------------

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

"I'm tired" = I'm tired

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you" = Let's have sex now

"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!




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of course they speak english, with an accent but they speak British-English quite well.
And I can't speak Indian so I guess they have an edge don't they?
Rod is a guide, not a weapon.

Please read the following if you think spanking is okay.


Spanking can cause a sensitive child grave psychological damage.  You probably won't even see it, and the child may never tell anyone or even recognize what it is.  Please, please, if you insist on spanking your child, at least give that child an outlet for the anger that follows.  When I child is forced to feel anger/shame directed at the person(s) they depend on above all others, and then to suppress that anger, it can cause significant, lifelong problems in his/her ability to have healthy relationships.


Another reason to reconsider spanking is the prevalence in today's society of spanking being related to sex - it's all over the place, and unless your kids watch no TV, no movies, read no magazines, and have no access to computers, they are eventually going to come across this.  It can be very confusing, very upsetting.


From:  http://www.stophitting.com/religion/faithMaterial.php


All of the biblical quotations advocating corporal punishment of children are taken from the book of Proverbs in the King James Version of the Bible. They were written by King Solomon, and presumably reflected his parenting beliefs with respect to his own son.


Proverbs 13:24
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."


Proverbs 19:18
"Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."


Proverbs 22:15
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."


Proverbs 23:13
"Withhold no correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."


Proverbs 23:14
"Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."


Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."


The Bible itself records the negative effect of Solomon's parenting style on his son, Rehoboam. He became a widely hated ruler after his father's death and had to leave to avoid assassination by his own people.


What would Jesus do?


If you take the Bible seriously, you have to notice Jesus' attitude toward children. It was wise, loving, and filled with compassion. Even when anxious adults wanted to shoo the children away, Jesus rebuked the adults. "Of such," he said, "is the kingdom of heaven." Given this attitude, it's hard to conceive of Jesus hitting a child on any occasion or for any reason. It's simply not consistent with what he taught. If Jesus wouldn't hit a child, why would we? SpankOut Day is dedicated to exploring alternate means of discipline. We believe that Jesus would approve. A simple slogan for Christians to consider might be this: the next time you are tempted to hit a child, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" Then go and do likewise.
Reverend Dr. Thomas E. Sagendorf, Senior Pastor
Bexley United Methodist Church, Bexley, Ohio


Wisdom from the Talmud


Many people who strike their children do so not because they are evil or mean, but because they believe they are doing God's will. They often cite the phrase in Proverbs: "He who spares the rod hates his son." The problem is that pulling one line out of the Bible ignores the rest of the text. Much of the Book of Proverbs is filled with good counsel on how to be a better person. In Chapter 22 we are taught, "Train a child in the way he should behave, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Isn't it possible that the rod Proverbs refers to is to be used to point to lessons on the wall? When we fail to properly educate our children, we not only spoil them, we show them the opposite of love. We must use the rod to point out right from wrong, not to beat our children into submission the way slaves have been beaten throughout history. Even the Talmud says, "If you must strike a child, do so only with a shoelace." When taken in its entirety, Judaism can hardly sanction the use of violence against children. Even the famous sentence in Deuteronomy to stone to death the stubborn and rebellious son, was, according to the Talmud, never carried out. Instead, while discipline was and still is crucial for raising healthy children, striking a child need never occur. The mix of discipline and love is the recipe for a good future for our sons and daughters. The Talmud suggests: "A child should be pushed aside with the left hand, and drawn closer with the right hand."
Rabbi Larry Kaplan
Temple Israel, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania


The Law or the Spirit?


In the book Spare the Child, Philip Greven suggests that our readiness as fathers to strike our sons explains why we men grow up so ready not only to tolerate but to perpetrate violence in our culture. A boy picks up his moral cues from Dad: "Dad hits me when he doesn't like what I have done. Therefore, men resolve differences by violence. If Dad did it, it's OK. I can hit people myself, especially when I think they've done wrong and therefore deserve it." Often a boy who has been spanked won't respond later to love, but only to more spanking. The Law, that is, has supplanted the Spirit within him. God's story of Israel says clearly that a son lost in the Law can be restored to appreciate and respond to a relationship with the Father only though crucifixion. In this case, that might mean the father's dying to his pride and asking the child's forgiveness, then begging Jesus to show him whatever brokenness in himself has led him to resort to the Law and how to become hospitable again to his Spirit's rule.
Reverend Gordon Dalbey, Santa Barbara, CA
Author of Fight Like a Man and leader in the Christian men's movement
Quoted with permission from Fight Like a Man


Also see:  http://www.nospank.net/toc.htm


 


Review guide...sm
It was my experience that the dictation portion was exceedingly easy, not nearly like the "snippets" on the CD that comes with the book.  Pay more attention to the rest of the book. 
This is actually according to the AMA style guide
AHDI and JCAHO are just following the AMA.
Itype guide
Try Alt-L for voice control -- I have the manual but since it is in PDF format, cannot get it to copy to email or as an attachment. But if you are starting with FN, you should be able to call one of the techs as well to help you :)
Does anyone know? I am using the CMT Review Guide...
to study for the CMT exam.  There are practice tests on the CD.  What is considered a passing grade for the CMT?  I can't find this info anywhere online, or in the guide.  Thanks!
Actually, there is another style guide for MTs (sm)
Medical Transcription Guide: Do's and Don'ts by Marcy O. Diehl ... it differs regarding some style advice so one wouldn't be 100% BOS compliant, but it's a good guide, nonetheless.
The rod should be a guide, a staff, not a weapon.

Please reaad the following if you think spanking is okay.


Spanking can cause a sensitive child grave psychological damage.  You probably won't even see it, and the child may never tell anyone or even recognize what it is.  Please, please, if you insist on spanking your child, at least give that child an outlet for the anger that follows.  When I child is forced to feel anger/shame directed at the person(s) they depend on above all others, and then to suppress that anger, it can cause significant, lifelong problems in his/her ability to have healthy relationships.


Another reason to reconsider spanking is the prevalence in today's society of spanking being related to sex - it's all over the place, and unless your kids watch no TV, no movies, read no magazines, and have no access to computers, they are eventually going to come across this.  It can be very confusing, very upsetting.


From:  http://www.stophitting.com/religion/faithMaterial.php


All of the biblical quotations advocating corporal punishment of children are taken from the book of Proverbs in the King James Version of the Bible. They were written by King Solomon, and presumably reflected his parenting beliefs with respect to his own son.


Proverbs 13:24
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."


Proverbs 19:18
"Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."


Proverbs 22:15
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."


Proverbs 23:13
"Withhold no correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."


Proverbs 23:14
"Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."


Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."


The Bible itself records the negative effect of Solomon's parenting style on his son, Rehoboam. He became a widely hated ruler after his father's death and had to leave to avoid assassination by his own people.


What would Jesus do?


If you take the Bible seriously, you have to notice Jesus' attitude toward children. It was wise, loving, and filled with compassion. Even when anxious adults wanted to shoo the children away, Jesus rebuked the adults. "Of such," he said, "is the kingdom of heaven." Given this attitude, it's hard to conceive of Jesus hitting a child on any occasion or for any reason. It's simply not consistent with what he taught. If Jesus wouldn't hit a child, why would we? SpankOut Day is dedicated to exploring alternate means of discipline. We believe that Jesus would approve. A simple slogan for Christians to consider might be this: the next time you are tempted to hit a child, ask yourself "What would Jesus do?" Then go and do likewise.
Reverend Dr. Thomas E. Sagendorf, Senior Pastor
Bexley United Methodist Church, Bexley, Ohio


Wisdom from the Talmud


Many people who strike their children do so not because they are evil or mean, but because they believe they are doing God's will. They often cite the phrase in Proverbs: "He who spares the rod hates his son." The problem is that pulling one line out of the Bible ignores the rest of the text. Much of the Book of Proverbs is filled with good counsel on how to be a better person. In Chapter 22 we are taught, "Train a child in the way he should behave, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Isn't it possible that the rod Proverbs refers to is to be used to point to lessons on the wall? When we fail to properly educate our children, we not only spoil them, we show them the opposite of love. We must use the rod to point out right from wrong, not to beat our children into submission the way slaves have been beaten throughout history. Even the Talmud says, "If you must strike a child, do so only with a shoelace." When taken in its entirety, Judaism can hardly sanction the use of violence against children. Even the famous sentence in Deuteronomy to stone to death the stubborn and rebellious son, was, according to the Talmud, never carried out. Instead, while discipline was and still is crucial for raising healthy children, striking a child need never occur. The mix of discipline and love is the recipe for a good future for our sons and daughters. The Talmud suggests: "A child should be pushed aside with the left hand, and drawn closer with the right hand."
Rabbi Larry Kaplan
Temple Israel, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania


The Law or the Spirit?


In the book Spare the Child, Philip Greven suggests that our readiness as fathers to strike our sons explains why we men grow up so ready not only to tolerate but to perpetrate violence in our culture. A boy picks up his moral cues from Dad: "Dad hits me when he doesn't like what I have done. Therefore, men resolve differences by violence. If Dad did it, it's OK. I can hit people myself, especially when I think they've done wrong and therefore deserve it." Often a boy who has been spanked won't respond later to love, but only to more spanking. The Law, that is, has supplanted the Spirit within him. God's story of Israel says clearly that a son lost in the Law can be restored to appreciate and respond to a relationship with the Father only though crucifixion. In this case, that might mean the father's dying to his pride and asking the child's forgiveness, then begging Jesus to show him whatever brokenness in himself has led him to resort to the Law and how to become hospitable again to his Spirit's rule.
Reverend Gordon Dalbey, Santa Barbara, CA
Author of Fight Like a Man and leader in the Christian men's movement
Quoted with permission from Fight Like a Man


Also see:  http://www.nospank.net/toc.htm


 


The guide is one of the things I would miss.

More than anything I miss "info" with cable.  When watching at my mom's there is no way to pull up and see what movie/show you are watching, how long it will be on, etc.  I can see where that would be confusing for an older person.  Of course your FIL deserves to decide what he wants, but even with Directv you can get a simpler remote and just surf the channels, avoiding the guide and such all together.  We deleted the channels that we don't have so that they just don't show up when surfing, or even in the guide.  It is fairly easy to edit them out, and then put them back in later if you need or want to. 


I'll never buy another car without using Consumer's Guide!

You can purchase the CMT Review Guide-sm

from Stedman's. The title is "The CMT Reveiw Guide."  This book was just released last year (2005) and was developed for the current version of the CMT exam.  You might also want to consider a CMT Study Group.  Contact the nearest chapter of AAMT as they do have CMT Study Groups.  I know that the Online Chapter of AAMT is about to start a study group that will complete in time to take the CMT in the end of July/begining of August.   Oak Horizons also offers and online CMT Prep Course which I have heard is really good.  You can get more info on the Oak Horizons class on www.aamt.org and do a search for CMT prep course.  For more info on the OCAAMT Study Group contact certconnector@aamtonline.org.


Please tell me where you found this in the style guide. sm
I don't find anything like that in the BOS 2.  Thank you.
Guide to Microsoft Word
I have this book and I think it is well worth its price!!  It gives many short cuts that have helped me immensely in my production.  I actually got this book because I was still using WP5.1 and everyone was using/asking for Word.  I had always fought with Word even after taking a college course in Word.   I ended up using this book to help transfer all my private clients to Word and I think I am back up to, maybe even surpassing, my production rate.  I hope this helps you.
I found the study guide (sm)

was good with examples on the test and covered all areas.  However, the dictation CD probably has caused many a heart attack.  None of the dictations were as bad as that thing!


I don't really know how you can study too much for the beast besides brushing up on the ol' BOS.  The first part was a stinker, though.


Thanks, by the way!


I checked my Shorthand How-To Guide & it says
that the problem may be that ShortHand is expanding text too fast for your word processor to keep up. It says to try decreasing the delay b/w key strokes. Suggestions are 10 msec every 1 Keystrokes for newer computers and if that doesn't work then try 100 msec (or higher) for every 1 keystroke. To change the speed, you will need to go into preferences and tab #1 (Operation). It also says programs running in the background (timers, automatic e-mail notifiers, etc.) can cause SH to pause.
BOS is just a style guide... do what the customer wants! sm
If my client does not have a preference I go by BOS.  If they do state a preference I do what they want.  If I feel the *BOS* way is better for proper interpretation of the report, I will advise that, but otherwise what they say is golden. 
while in a document, help and then user guide
it'll open a whole website of indexes and instructions... what are you having trouble with?
MT Guide to Microsoft word

How many of you have used this or are using it?  I never heard of it before and was wondering if it was worth the investment.


Hmm, looking at the candidate guide I see that is contradictory.
The candidate guide states:

"Two years of transcription experience in acute care-type setting or equivalent experience in a multispecialty
environment are required to take the CMT certification examination."

What I want to know is how they check? What do they consider equivalent experience? At any rate, I think the wording a bit ambiguous. An organization that deals with languages specialists should be able to do better. JMHO.
Can somewhat please guide me as to how to pay Social Security, SM

federal and state taxes as an IC? I am new to this and dont know the first thing about it. How do I get vouchers for the taxes and how do I pay the SS...thank you!


Guide for HIPAA PRivacy Rule
Covers for Stedman's books are designed by the graphic artist who works with them.
The Happy Slob's Guide to Housecleaning

I totally know what you mean! I have a free newsletter filled with cleaning ideas and tips - it's called the Happy Slob Gazette. It's for laid back (and busy) people like us. Please drop by if you have time -- I have this system I created where it only takes three steps to clean your home. You'll love it!
http://www.happyslob.com

Hugs,
Christina
State abbreviations. Is there some style guide in LT or MT

where they don't use the postal code standard of two caps; i.e. CA instead of CA for California?

I immediately delete any application that comes to me if it contains gross error. I'm just blown away when I see MTs and LTs with 5+ years of experience who use the "Ca" formatting. Before I blast away this latest applicant, I thought I'd stop to check if there's something out there that I'm unaware of. Out of the 12+ resumes I'm getting a day lately, at least two will contain this error so now I'm questioning myself.


 


 


 


The CMT Review Guide is great and geared
toward the current CMT test. Published by Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, publisher of Stedman's. I believe you can buy it from them, or from AAMT. Good luck!
AAMT Style Guide!!! (Phooey)
Is there a "quick" style guide available on the net?  I don't have time to pick up an AAMT Book of Style before I test.  I've done this for 30+ years and have never been corrected by the physicians but this national company wants things done in the AAMT standard.  Every physician I've ever transcribed for asked me NOT to change a thing and AAMT style be dam--d.  But, nationals have their own way of doing things (testing!) and while I certainly know what I'm doing - I'm not sure that I'll do it the "AAMT way".  So, any help you can give me is appreciated!
CMT review guide. I'm glad I read it.
Good luck!
Stedman's sells a study guide. NM
x
teach and guide, start my own school? sm
I guess then they should take the Word Board off if teaching and guiding is a "no no?" Difference between teaching and just telling somebody something they can look up for themselves.

Yeah I am into books! Not too slow if you know what you are doing! Still do 250-300 lph with accuracy which is more than I can say for your post.
Male MTs
I have been an MT for over 20 years.  My hubby is unemployed and looking for new career options.  He is checking into the MT schools and even talked to an employer today that hires ouf of a certain school.  I have known very few men in this career field over the years, maybe 5 that I knew personally and counted as friends.  I asked my boss when I first got into MT why we didn't have more men in the office doing MT.  She said she thought maybe they just didn't know about it.  Well now I am talking to my friends, and I have heard some of their husbands are checking into it.  They like the idea of staying home to work and spending more time with their children.  The few men that I have known over the  years that did MT really enjoyed it as a career.  I think it would be nice to see more.
male MTs
Michael, Michael, Michael - careful now. I have 2 nieces married to "beauticians" who BTW, nowadays refer to themselves as "stylists," and I'm quite sure neither of them is gay.

People have stereotypes about others - period.

I've been in this business a long time and I remember when male MTs were rare. I saw men come into the job for the same reasons women do - interesting work, independence, and of course the huge attraction of working at home, no office politics, etc.

BTW, Michael, if it "frosts" you butt, why did you use an emoticon with fire? (Just kidding you.)
I think it is a male...
6
Contact your state Consumer Affairs. They will guide you.
nm
Stedman's Guide to the HIPAA Privacy Rule has one.
nm
I don't know if the study guide has changed in the last 5 years, but when I bought it, it was so

not worth the money!  It was like a little pamphlet with maybe 20 sample questions.


That was back when the test was in two parts, so hopefully they offer some a bit more substantial as a study guide.


Vista is on all the new laptops, no problem, support will guide you through. nm
.
I wrote it down! JK Lasser's "Small Business Tax Guide," and see msg.
The other was 1001 Deductions and Tax raks for Personal Deductions. I don't have an author for that one.
Had to train my male (sm)
Started by keeping the box really clean with that nice scooping sand that they like. Then I would walk over to the box and say, here kitty, and invite him to go in.
After his pee pee in the box, he gets a treat!
We still have an occasional problem, but only when the box is dirty. The pee pee in the corner means he doesn't like that dirty box!

I never go to a male doc for this very reason. nm
x
The patient is a male

The doctor said:   "He denies bloody or cloudy urine, pain with urination and vaginal bleeding."

I crack up laughing and quote this to my husband, stating the patient's gender.

And his response was, "I hope so."
(think about it)  


 


So where exactly is the male vagina?
x
MALE MT or FEMALE MT?

Who is better in the Medical Transcription? Men or women medical transcriptionists. I believe it has been a debate throughout decades who is better in this industry. Regardless of Race and regardless of Age. Let the battle begin... (hey its just for fun)


State your side: Age sex Location. No names Pls. and comments. Maybe Footonmyneck, SUN, Cheeseburger, Proud to be Indian, and the entire MT Stars gang can start it up. Its better than talking about outsourcing and MQ for a change.


 


Male MT or female MT
35-year-old female, AR
I don't as I know several straight male MTs...sm
just like I know some straight male nurses. 
Ok, here's the Big Male Secret...
We want y'all to think we're helpless and can't do things so we can get out of doing stuff. It works, too! :)
Big Male Secret
It's not a secret, Rad Guy. We just let you think it is.
Go TAYLOR!!!!!.....AI wants a male to win!! n/m

I only see one picture of the male.....nm

male transcriptionists
I worked with one where we were paid $25 an hour - he would come in on Saturday and Sunday and milk the clock for 12-16 hours when there was only about 1-2 hours of work. This went on for a couple of years. Then I had another male MT as a supervisor and he was very nice and has always helped me to find work when I needed it. Different strokes for different folks.
One of the male MTs emailed me his pic. sm
I didnt know he was sending me a pic of his little willie.  I didnt want to see a penis when I looked and then just ROFL @ it. 
female vs male
I would rather listen to a male dictator as well, depending on how low his tone is.  I do have one female that I do like.  She is actually very good, very organized.  What I do hate, with a passion, is a female ESL dictator.  That is the worst of both worlds.  Talk about REALLY not knowing what the heck they are saying!!!
Medical Transcriptionist's Guide to Microsoft Word book
Does anybody have this book?  Is it worth the money to buy it if you are pretty comfortable creating macros and such in Word already?  Just wondering.... I am always looking for new ways to increase my speed and make things easier.  Any info would be great from someone who has this book.  Thanks!