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Jeez, take your own advice for your husband/dog/kid/house/money problem. nm

Posted By: xxxx on 2005-08-24
In Reply to: if you're getting jerked around that's your fault - mt

nm


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    My husband makes a LOT more money than me..
    It is kind of humiliating to me that I am very well educated and make PEANUTS in the MT field (so far anyway), and he makes 13.50 per hour as a janitor with full bennies, sick leave, vacation, retirement in the schools. Humiliated, but grateful!!! (See what a union can do for you?)

    My MT school promised 25,000 to 90,000 per year doing MT work and, from what I am seeing on this board, that is a STRETCH of the truth for sure!
    in-house money
    Yes, it may pay more per hour or line, but some people have to take into account the money for gas, car expenses, clothes expenses (I dress like a slob now), makeup expense (I wear a LOT less now), child care, etc. You have to weigh the good with the bad and the costs associated with working outside of the home. They would have to pay me a ton more money to get me out of the house - I'm so spoiled.
    Okay. Where do I begin? I need some advice! My husband is in real estate. sm

                   He owns 5 houses (rents 4), and just closed on a house on Friday that he needs to "flip" really quick! Basically, it's a 30,000 profit IF he sells it quick! We've never bought a house to flip before, but have purchased them for rental property and to gain the equity. Okay. I'm spoiled. Very spoiled. Or you could call it blessed! We are both Christians with good jobs. I only work part-time and then we live off of his salary and the 700 we make in rent that is extra after paying ALL the mortgages. But we are in a real bind now. We have renters who owe us 2 months of rent, well now 3 months of rent! They won't take our calls, you know the rest of the story!  This house that my husband bought on Friday cost us ALL of our cash because we had to put some down and then pay closing costs (close to 4,000!).  So now, for the first time, we are broke (NO cash flow whatsoever now). And I'm struggling over here! I mean, we can't even go and get ice cream tonight.  I'm really questioning our decision to purchase this house.


    See, we had no idea UNTIL closing (honest to God), just how much it was going to cost! So, we couldn't back out of it. We were thinking 2000 on the high end.  I completely flipped out when the attorney told us how much we needed to write a check for!!!!


     


    We've gotten a couple of calls on the house, but obviously no takers. My husband went straight from the attorney's office to the house to put up for sale signs in the yard! It's a cute house. We just need someone to buy it ASAP!


    So, if you've ever wanted to meet the people on the Carlton Sheets infomercial - here we are!!! yes, we've made a lot of money in real estate, but there are huge, gigantic RISKS! You could go for the gutso (like we did and buy all these houses) and you could lot a lot if it doesn't work out. The loan we got on this new house is a type of loan I've never heard of before. It's just a "quick" loan where you need to pay it back pretty quick in the hopes that you will make the 30,000 in equity that the house did appraise for.


    What do you do on a budget? What do you do when you are so broke you can't even buy ice cream for the kids? I want to cry now, even though I know some of you out there have zero sympathy for crazy folks like us...Well, I need some ideas on food.  What's cheap to make and cook? I put 30.00 in my SUV last night and that will have to last me until the 15th!


    To all of you who struggle every week like this, my heart goes out to you. It truly does.  Now I know what it feels like to live in desperate need every day.....


    As someone who lost their husband almost 2 years ago, I can tell you that no amount of money could

    ever replace my best friend and husband.  Yes, I have tried the dating thing, but to tell the truth here, it's not the same and I don't think anyone could ever replace the father my children lost at such an early age. 


     


    By the way. he had just turned 34 when he died, so I suppose you might want to give your hubby a big hug tonight for thinking of your future without him, especially when we truly do not see ourselves leaving this world so soon. 


     


    Hugs to you and yours!!!


    Best advice - work in-house a couple of years
    You really do need hands-on experience in order to be able to do this at home. You will run into terms that you will have no idea how to look up - like "booj aw boo" would you know to look under bougie au boule? Or "terry onal craniotomy" would you know it is "pterional" or would you spends loads of time looking for "T" words? If you work face to face with experienced MTs, they can help you when you run into similar situations. I'm not being snooty, I am only pointing out real situations that you will be faced with and the reasons MTSOs insist that before an MT can work independently at home they have at least 2 years experience. I believe that most of us have worked in-house in the beginning to get to the point where we can do this efficiently at home. Once you do get that experience, though, stand back, the MTSOs will be beating down your door with job offers. Good luck and hang in there! Remember we all had to start somewhere. Best of luck to you!
    Jeez. . .don't complain about the BO, before you know it

    the "stinky people" will file discrimination suits!


    "I can't help it if I smell. I have a thyroid problem."



    Jeez!!! Lighten up!

    She was obviously making a joke.  I don't understand you people.


    I posted a post below saying I thought trade schools were underrated and were a very viable alternative to a college degree.  A poster responded by writing that people who feel that way aren't college material.


    Dano objected to the rudeness of that poster, and now everyone is ganging up on her simply because she thinks people should be treated nicely and with respect.


    Precisely what IS your problem? 


    Ah, Jeez Louise, damage control again (sm)

    Psychology 101, name calling will get you no where. 


    Jeez Louise! I am speechless. What happened to her pro-US stance?
    I dont know whether to laugh or cry.
    my mistake, I was thinking of gross lines. soorrryyy. jeez!
    nm
    I agree, jeez, I can't believe how quick people are to suggest quitting the minute things are bad.
    x
    Money, money, money, mmonnneyyy. Singing the Apprentice song.
    :+
    DH is dear husband or any number of colorful adjectives preceding husband. (no message)
    ;)
    I totally understand but if your husband is like my husband... sm

    When it comes to something like that, that I usually take care of but for whatever reason I can't, I will tell my husband exactly what to do, but when he comes back - to use your case as a "for instance" - I will ask him, "Did the doctor look at his foot?" 


    Him: "No."


    Me: "Did you ask the doctor to look at his foot?"


    Him: "No."


    Me:  "I told you to have the doctor look at his foot!"


    Him: (shrug)


    etc., etc., etc.


    Your husband may not be like that - I sure hope he isn't. And yes, they should have checked his vitals and checked his foot without being asked. But sometimes you have to be assertive with people. And while my husband attained the rank of major in the Air Force and had no trouble ordering people around, there are times when he should be assertive but isn't. And he is not intimidated by doctors - he started his AF career as an x-ray tech (that's how we met). I dunno....(Rad MT wanders off, mumbling....)


    Advice to YOU..1st learn to spell before insulting poster and trying to give advice...sm

    Make money? I'm not making any money because of my decision. You read my reasoning
    You can agree with me or not, but don't make false assumptions please.
    You're working to make money, not to spend money.
    These people should be ashamed of themselves taking advantage of people this way!
    I also blew some money signing up with Quixtar... The only way to make any money is to bug everyone

    you know into signing up.  I felt like a snake oil huckster.  I hated it.  I was flushing money down the toilet from the moment I handed over my money. 


    RUN, do not walk away!  I do an entirely different side business now that I really love (in addition to my MTing, which I also love!)  Find something you're good at and that you truly love doing.  Then make a business out of it.  That's the best way to have a side business.  Selling discount toilet paper through Amway/Quixtar?  Not so much. 


    The CMT exam is overrated. Don't waste your time & money. Use that money on
    paid anymore just because you have it.  There are a few CMT cheerleaders that post to people like you but they are pretty well sucked up into that association.
    Sound advice from a fellow MT if you want advice or support (sm)

    I have been an MT for over 10 years.  I also am getting burnt out, tired of my job, day in day.  However, I do love transcription and make excellent money at it, have grossed over $50,000 per year the last 5 years.  I decided to go back to nursing school and am very happy with my choice.  However, over these 10 years of transcription I have had my ups and downs.  My biggest issue with being at home working is lack of socialization, being home day in and day out with just the kids and the animals really gets to a person, sure hubby is home at night and thinks working from home is the easy life, thus the return to school and boy has my overall enjoyment of life changed once I realized I was the problem, not everyone else and I needed to find myself again.


    Anyway, my biggest advice to you three-fold:


    1.  Get into counseling for yourself, find out who you are and what your needs are, whether or not you think you need to, I sense you are feeling overwhelmed and need someone other than your family to talk to that can be nonjudgmental to your feelings and needs.


    2.  If you're only making $100 after you pay preschool you can either keep doing it and be miserable, or quit because you are lucky enough to have a husband who can support the family without your income. (See how fast his mind changes just by losing the income you do have as to whether your job means anything.)  Or look for a different company or office that you like more and are more productive if you really want to do transcription (lots of fish in the sea as far as companies).


    3.  Find a local "mom's" group where you can get out and socialize.  MOPS (mother's of preschoolers) is an excellent one that is nationwide, they have a website.  Also Mom2Mom is in a lot of areas.  They provide a once a week time for moms with kids the same age to get together, socialize, (some offer spirtual guidance some don't) and each week a different mom takes a turn watching everyone else's children at the facility that hosts it so the other moms can talk about things they have in common.  Every stay-at-home and work-from-home mom needs to socialize with adults, without their kids, or they will have a nervous breakdown eventually no matter how much they love their kids.


    Sorry so long but it does get better but you have to take the first step at making yourself happy.


    Yeah, money, that's it. I paid $20.00 for my dog. Money is NOT THE ISSUE
    walk him daily, play ball daily, he sleeps in my office daily while I work. Yeah, I got a lot of money, NOT HARDLY. And, my dog is HORRIBLY HORRIBLY ABUSED because he wears a collar around his neck. It's people like you that make me sick. I am done defending my use of the shock collar. I am going to continue with it and my dog will continue to be pampered , educated, fed, kept warm, and love me for everything that I do for him even when I remind him that his barking needs to stop. So, with that said, I will not respond to any more of your CRAP in reference to the shock collar.
    Money is money and most people will do whatever it takes when in need. sm
    if you do bring it to the attn of the office manager, why not offer her a raise to compensate. it is obvious she just needs or wants more money than your office is paying her. I agree, it is a free country and although it seems odd, unless you had it outlined in contract, she can work for whomever or whereever she pleases on the side. at least she is typing and not at a strip joint, lol. I see no conflict of interest, she has experience obviously in whichever field you are in and what is wrong with doing extra in that field. i agree with MYOB "nicely" and concentrate on your reports than looking at older reports and seeing who they are typed by.
    No need to wonder..It always means less money for the MT and more money for MQ.
    z
    Money, honey, money!!!!!!.
    nm
    One year and you make decent money? What is decent money to you?
    k
    LOL husband
    But you have your husband all the time, think out of the box (smile)..who else would you want?  Sure hubby or boyfriend is the best but.....
    Not me...husband. nm
    x
    At least I have a husband...

    The word on the street is that your husband left with the better-looking, better-smelling, thinner girl next door.  POOR MOLESTED YUCK!!


    Yes, my husband and I had our
    we chose our wedding date (go ahead and laugh if you want) so that we would have an auspicious start to our marriage...has worked so far, as we've been married for 23 years. People tease us 'cause we act like a couple of giddy teenagers around each other and (try not to throw up) it's really true.

    Historically, centuries ago, physicians also were trained in astrology and wouldn't perform surgeries until the stars were aligned properly for the patient. No void of course moons and certainly no retrograde mercury.

    Remember all the confusion with the 2001 presidential election? Election day was held with mercury retrograde.

    And, yes, I believe what you've said. And, yes, listen to your intuition; it's never wrong. As Einstein said, "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."


    my husband does that, too
    and he drives his truck. He's been thinking of getting him a motorcycle but with him using that at 4:30 a.m. in country roads that have no lights, do you think it is safe for him?
    My husband is the same way SM

    He mumbles and grumbles, rolls his eyes, etc.  He says I spend all my time on the stinkin' computer.  He wants me to stop working whenever he calls, whenever he is hungry, whenever he wants to go somewhere, etc.  I feel so stressed out too.  It is a regular argument in our home as well.  I routinely work to 2 to 3 a.m.  I get up at 6:45 to get the kids dressed and fed (big struggle as I am dead tired and they are generally uncooperative-not morning people-so I'm yelling, he's snoring (can you say "resentment??").  Finally, about 7:30 I wake him up and tell him to take the kids to school.  He thinks he's so great because he spends 10 minutes dropping them off...ugh.  Then he has the gall to throw it in my face that I go back to bed for 2 hours.  Geesh...he comes home from work each night and crashes on the couch until it is time to go to bed.


    Well, he certainly doesn't mind spending my paychecks and complains that they are not as big as they used to be (when I worked in house).  Sigh...Men!  Can't live with them, can't....nah, just can't live with 'em! ;)  Waaaaahhhh!!  I need a wife!


    LOL....well, at least you know you're not alone!  Hugs to you,


    Chickadee


    Husband's a CPA......
    says you can work as an IC or SE, for different companies. You just get different forms from your companies to file with the IRS. As SE, they will pay some of your taxes, you then pay the rest quarterly, and you can still deduct your expenses. If IC, you pay ALL your own taxes quarterly and can still deduct expenses related to your business.
    Husband
    Well, first of all, I don't believe that it is babysitting if it is your own kids, it's called parenting and more husbands should try it. I think I would look into counseling. No way would I be married to a man who "let me" or "didn't let me" do anything. Good thing I have a great DH.

    Good luck!
    about husband won't let me.....sm

    Wow - I feel like we are back in the Dark Ages....with the neanderthals...."husband won't let me go back to school" and "husband will not babysit the child" - or words to those effect.


    Father's are not babysitters if the children are theirs!  That's a crock.  A babysitter is someone the parent(s) hires.


    And as for "husband won't let me" - I'd have gotten rid of him DECADES ago.  *lol* but not really laughing.  Any man who will not let  (allow) his wife to better herself in any way, shape, or form is a terribly INSECURE man.  Get out before it's too late for you to save your own life and become your own HERO (heroine)!!! 


    feel very bad for the poster(s)........pitiful actually (the controlling husband)


    Take my husband, Please !

     Why does he put his clothes on the bathroom or bedroom floor two inches away from the basket?    Why does he take his plate to the sink with food on it when he knows he hasn't installed a garbage disposal?  While I'm on that subject, why does he take PAPER plates to the sink?   This is not helpful.  


    Yes, please tell us how your husband

    Some people are sooooooooo incredibly stupid. Some people are also plain ol' bigots and will attempt to lump everyone in the same category based on their race.  How in the heck does your husband know the race of his classmates if he takes classes over the internet.  Did his classmates tell him what their race was?


    I am a black person and am extremely offended by your statement.  Did you think that only white people visited this site?


    this is my first husband.
    My son was born out of a very short immature teenage relationship, which I ended 2 weeks after I told him I was pregnant. He proved his immaturity very quickly in his actions and I decided one baby would be enough to handle, I didn't need two. That choice, I feel, was very responsible and smart. I DO NOT regret keeping my son as he is a wonderful, smart, loving child who has a lot to give to this world.

    I am done defending myself to those who choose to bring me down rather than offer some of the pros/cons of staying married or going single again.
    What husband???
    :)
    No husband. nm
    x
    My husband had this done
    He regrets it sometimes. He still has problems on and off with reflux but had it much worse before the procedure. He lost a lot of weight after the procedure, probably 20 pounds or so because you are limited on the portion and what food you can eat. You are on a liquid diet the first 2-3 days then soft diet for about a week then gradually can start eating solid food again. He also has a lot of problems with gas, he constantly take gas pills but everyone I am sure is different.
    my husband was there and...
    He had me send Coolaid, nonperishable foods, candy, snacks, toiletries, and stuff like that.  When my husband was over there, it was the beginning of the war over there and they didn't have all of that stuff.  It may be different now though.  You may want to go look at the forums at www.military.com.  I am not sure, but you may find something there.
    I said to my husband
    at the beginning of the show "I hope Uncle June doesn't have a firearm in that house". He was talking about Pussy and some other guy that was also whacked. Tony made the mistake of saying one of their names when he was calling to him for supper. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! I said, "he shouldn't have said THAT", no sooner were the words out of my mouth and BANG! I hate when I'm right about things like that. He's going to survive, just waiting to see how it plays out. I LOVE THE SOPRANOS! I LOVE JAMES GANDOLFINI! Good night!
    My husband was like you regarding me and
    sleep. At night, it was difficult for me to fall asleep but in the morning, I was out and it took dynamite to get me up if I hadn't gotten my 8 hours of sleep. I didn't continue to sleep because I didn't want to start the day with him, I did it because I was so drowsy.
    When I did get up, I could feel his resentment, made me feel like I was lazy. It was very very bad to start the day off with bad vibes. This happened on vacations as well. He was an early riser but would take naps in the afternoon. I preferred to stay in bed until 9.

    Let your kids witness you and your husband in a healthy happy relationship and they will go on to create one just like yours. That is all kids want really. Your actions toward are being watched very closely by these kids.

    And yes, your husband sounds like a good man. After my marriage ended (I left), my husband was more than willing to give me the little that I asked for but the negativity snuffed out the positive in the relationship.

    My husband used it
    He said the withdrawals really weren't that bad. It comes with an aroma inhaler and that helped him a lot! He's been a nonsmoker now for 3 years! Good luck! It's one of the best things you can do for yourself!
    Ugh, I am so sorry for your husband.
    I've learned that when they speak their native language as much or more as English, the accent never goes away. It's a crying shame.
    My husband used it...sm
    He used it when he was a teenager at about 16 for 3-4 months and then again as an adult at age 26 for three months.

    He had no side effects at all except maybe dry skin. For him it was a life saver because he is a salesman and appearance means a lot.

    You just have to make an informed decision. I would do it if my child had acne. I'm a 33-year-old adult and have the occassional pimple because of my birth control and hate it. I try to cover it up with makeup, but boys don't have that option. I, myself, wouldn't hesitate to use it if I had severe acne.

    Anyway, my husband says he was told that there may be times again in the future when he has to use it. It is not for long-term use all at one time, but he used it for a few months twice in 10 years.

    Hope this helps.
    My husband

    did the shopping when I was pregnant. One time he came home and had spent $400 at Kroger. WOW!!!!  AND.........didn't buy any meat. I couldn't believe it. With the # of bags he brought in I would have thought $150 to $200.  UGH. And no meat. I still can't get over that. LOL.


    Needless to say I am back to doing the shopping. I would hate to imagine our financial situation if he handled the money. LOL.


    My husband is the same way sm
    Sometimes when I need a change I cook tortellini alfredo and crumble bacon over the top of it. He loves it. We usually add some garlic toast or a salad.
    This is what husband and I have done...

    for each big decision on job change, moving to a different state, or a situation similar to what you are facing now, one where we find it hard to decide but think we would be happy with either one.  Scarey spot to be in, I know!


    Make a list of two columns, one column for each choice (Admin Asst and MT).


     Then list each pro/con for both options (each choice has to have the same pros and cons).  Gas money, time spent with kids, social contact, type of work, etc., etc. - list whatever options are important to you. 


    Then assign a percentage or number to each option (my husband is an engineer so we have had to use this elaborate percentage work sheet thing he makes up!!!  I just give him my number on a scale of 1 to 5 how I would rate each option and he does his mathematical calculations). 


    Then sit down with whoever you want to have input and start assigning numbers to each option in order of importance.  If you use 1 as low importance and 5 as high importance  - then, say, "Gas Money" option - working at home would be a 5 and the office would be a 1 (no gas money for home, lots of gas money for office).  In other words, if gas money were the only consideration, home would win with a number 5 and office would lose with a number 1.  Then go down your list assigning numbers.


    When you are done, add up your numbers and see which option has the most points and that should tell you which you would prefer.


    This may sound convoluted and I guess it is (unless you are an engineer or a math major) but, like I said, we have used this each time we have had a big decision to make, have gone ahead with the "most desirable" in terms of percentage outcome, and have been very content with our choice.


    I might add that we have lived in 5 different states in 10 years - so we have really put this to the test!!!


    The hardest part for me, I think, was getting to the point where I felt each option was equal in desirability.  But you seem to be at that point already, having two choices and facing the anxiety of picking one over the other.  So you are probably ready for THE BIG TEST. 


    Good luck to you no matter which you pick and whether or not you use my method!! 


    i see now that my husband is not only one
    who can't seem to quit. I absolutely hate the effects (on health, house, etc), the stink, the cost, to the point i've thought of living separately. and he has been extremely self-diciplined in other areas of life too, but cannot seem to give this up.
    My husband has this

    My husband, 30 years old, had an ear infection.  It got so bad that it caused him to develop Bell's palsy.  They told him that it takes anywhere from three weeks to six months to return to normal, but he may have some permanent residual palsy.  It has been about seven months and he still has some problems.  He can only shut his eye about 75%, his smile is not all there and he has some noticeable paralysis to his cheek.  Stress, common cold or hot days can bring on a recurrence or worsen residual symptoms.  Our outlook is that there are worse things to have.  Hope you do well with yours.