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Crickets, airports (not planes), spiders, losing my kids...

Posted By: MTHubie on 2009-01-02
In Reply to: Things you're afraid of vs. things you're not - real or imagined




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Jimminy Crickets!
Two months and you are going off for the weekend with your daughter? Geez, I've got a 3 yo in the house and that is how long I have chosen to be celibate. You better believe the next relationship I enter into will be with someone with a full background check! You do NOT know someone after 2 months, much less *know* where it is going! Slow down! Guys love their caves when they chose to come out of them...don't push him back into his!

Don't mean to be gruff - just that my last BF was a pervert but because he hid it so well, I didn't know about it for 2 years, and believe me, everyone thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Fortunately no one in my family was harmed from that relationship. I hope the same for you.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles ..I Miss John Candy!
A sweet lovable buffoon with a secret about his wonderful wife, John Candy and Steve Martin try to get home for Thanksgiving.
Speaking of spiders sm
We have a friend that just can't kill any living thing (I have no problem stepping on a spider, so sue me)anyway, she found a spider as she was getting in the shower, with a towel wrapped around her she went to set it free outside her back porch. Her hubby grabbed the towel, pushed her out, and locked the door. They were not in an overly populated neighborhood, but neighbors on each side could see. She says next time, she will just step on the spider.
Spiders, and a little claustrophobia (sm)
I don't mind spiders as long as I can see where they are - I set them free if they ever are in my house but I am scared of them - used to be terrified of them. Claustrophobic as in I am always looking for a "way out" if I am in traffic crammed between two cars or if I am ever sitting at a table with a wall to my back and lots of people sitting on both sides of me, I get panicky if I don't see a way to get up and out of I need to. Don't like anyone sitting on my covers if I am covered up, etc. But I made it through my MRI by using visualization and picturing myself being somewhere else the whole 45 minutes.
I used to be afraid of spiders, but not anymore.

When you fight for space in a home, you get over the fear. If they aren't too "fast", I catch them and put them outside. Not afraid of anything else except heights. Can't even get on a step stool.


I was a tomboy growing up and played with all kinds of insects and bugs except spiders. Even brought home a garter snake, bat, and mouse as a house pets. Can't imagine why my mom was so upset.


little by little in this country - losing ....nm

I think I'm losing my memory
I know as we get older we all joke about it because it seems to be true for a lot of us. But, do you ever worry that it could be something more serious? For the last 10 years, I've noticed that I can't remember numbers any more like phone numbers. I used to be very sharp and have a good memory but now I rely on notes. It sux!
I am always losing my hair.
All year round. A lot comes out in the shower and when drying my hair. My bathroom floor is covered. I have very thick hair. I never thought to ask my doctor about it. May be I should. I do not see any bald spots yet, but I will continue to watch. I just turned 50. I hope it does not get worse.
Losing a child
I think when people say this they are talking about children who have lived, a viable child. Your baby could not at 11 weeks have survived outside the womb. My question to you- would you much rather it have been born say with a myraid of birth defects and struggling to breathe, constant medical care, not able to walk by itself, needing constant medical/home attention just so it could have been born? I know it would be even more difficult for me to have that happen than nature taking its course as in demise in the womb.
I posted above about losing my mom sm
I remember walking with a couple of friends and complaining about my mom (while she was still alive) and one of the women said to me "I lost my mom and I would give anything to have another day with her". It was several years later before I lost my mom, but oh how those words play in my mind. I will hear the country song "Just one more day" and I have to turn off the radio. I miss her teribly and I personally think that is the way it should be. Just keep all of the wonderful memories. "hugs again"
Okay, losing my mind. I now see it! Thanks for the help. nm
!
Losing friends
When I lost my first one (my cat BB) I tried to keep him hanging on as long as possible but when I talked to him about it he let me know he wanted me to let him go and I held him when I took him to the vet and he purred the whole time.  He knew he didn't have to suffer any more. The really hard stuff only lasts for 3 days, then you feel better every day.  It's lots easier after you get the ashes back, you feel like they're home.  On my hearth I have 4 late cats, 1 late husband, 1 late brother-in-law and my late mother.  I never really feel like they're gone.  I feel for you, hang in there. 
I'm sorry you're losing him too. (sm)
Maybe he and Sasha will play together over the bridge. So far she is eating well and keeping her weight on, so perhaps we have a little more time. She's so precious.
have same problem after almost losing my
only 2 year old to renal failure.  Had to find ways to give high calorie and stimulate appetite.  From the vet get one called AD by Science Diet.  Mine likes it mixed with a little warm water to pablum consistency.  High in vitamins, protein, fat and vets give it to very sick cats - like TraumaCal in humans.
I guess you know because it is not your fingers you are losing, NM
z
Is she losing weight or having frequent
urination?  I know from a friend of mine that these are some symptoms.  Also, my friend had blurred vision to the point she was afraid to drive.  She went to an ophthalmologist for whom she used to work.  He suspected diabetes and checked her sugar.  It was over 600 in the office.  She has seen been an insulin dependent diabetic.  She was losing weight rapidly.  You are just being a good daughter.  Keep an eye on things for her. 
Losing your sex drive with menopause is
part of the natural progression of our biology.
the world isn't losing freedom of speech...
Just the Christians! Talk about anything except God, Jesus, Church, etc., and we're gonna pay and pay dearly for it, I am afraid!
Focus on getting healthy, not on losing weight
I don't know your height, but was 5Ǝ" and 175 when I started trying to get fit. I lost inches first before losing weight. It took 4-5 months to lose 25 lbs, going from a size 16 to 12. Once I got there, I was more fit than 93% of all women my age. I was doing mountain hikes that put my teenagers to shame.

A few years later, I had some GI problems and started losing inches and a bit of weight, but not much weight. I lost the muscle as I had already burned off the fat. I dropped only 5 lbs, but went from size 12 to a size 8. I was anorectic. I'm back up again. ugh.

Just wanted you to know that if you think about getting fit, you may be more successful than if your goal is to lose weight. A lot of people give up because they don't lose the weight they expect of themselves. Your body will tell you where you should be. If you lose too much weight, you'll stay sick. If you are fit and stay fit, you'll feel it in any muscle and bone of your body. Good luck! Sounds like your off to a good start.
so sorry, losing a pet rips a part of my heart out
and having to make the decision rips an even bigger part.  So very sorry.  Take some solace in the happiness he had with you.
Agree with losing tail. An old cat just tends to walk around, not much jumping or
xx
Read the papers, duh! People are losing their homes
for getting into this stuff.

Goes to show, you aren't that smart. Money in bank getting interest only. Come on lady, what planet do you live on? You are full of it. You are depending on the two most unstable things in the world right now. Talk about planning.
Parenting advice needed! I am losing my mind with my 14yo son. SM

He is so smart.  I got his first grade card a couple of weeks ago, 2 Fs (Science and Computer Lit) and a D+ in English.  The rest of his grades were acceptable.  The problem isn't that he doesn't understand the subject matter in these classes, but that he simply doesn't do the work, doesn't turn in homework assignments, NOTHING! 


I started having trouble with him last year and he barely passed the 7th grade.  Now, here it is the beginning of a new school year and he's doing the exact same thing.  He's grounded, of course, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to him.  Last night his English teacher called to tell me he hasn't turned in any assignments since the beginning of the new quarter, that he simply sits there at his desk doing nothing while the rest of the class works.  She said he seems to be easily distracted.


When I talk to him about school, he gives me attitude.  Last night after I hung up with the English teacher, I was very angry, and proceeded to ground him longer and took away his IPod.  He had the audacity to say "mom, you're really making me mad (only he didn't say "making me mad").  I took step toward him because I was about ready to slap his disrespectiful mouth and he said "you better not lay a hand on me."  He threatened me!  So I basically took a deep breath and said "son you do not want to take me on."  And then I proceeded to tell him that he would be staying after school with his English teacher until further notice and that I will be picking him up every day after school to make sure he brings home all his books and homework.


I don't know what else to do.  I have asked his teachers to keep me informed via email cause I'm always at my computer during the day.  His Science teacher just emailed me and said he didn't turn in his assignment today.  After all that last night and he STILL didn't turn in his assignment!


I tried to be understanding because he's at a new school in a new town, but socially he's happier than I've seen him in a long time.  He has made a bunch of new friends, he's planning on going out for the basketball team.  At first I tried to blame his attitude problems on the move and the new school, but he was doing the exact same thing last year at his old school.  His dad and I have separated and maybe that has something to do with it, but life has been less stressful without his dad here, even my son has said so.


Please give me some advice.  I've thought about talking to the school counseling, going to family counseling, having my son see a therapist.  I just don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm failing as a parent here and I don't know what to do.


Thanks for letting me spill my guts.


My chiropractor said his plastic surgeon friends are losing their practices.
At least here in C.FL, plastic surgery is tanking!
I'm sorry. It's rough losing a pet. I lost my dog, Tate a couple years back. SM

He was a sheltie and he used to lay under my desk when I worked and I would rub him with my foot and he was a great foot warmer in the winter!  I used to say, he wasn't my dog, I was his person.  He got sick and then his liver failed and I had to have him put to sleep because he was suffering.  I cried for weeks!  I still haven't gotten another dog.  My kids have been begging me and they've almost wore me down, but for a long time after Taters died, I just couldn't bring myself to even think about another dog.  I compromised and got the kitty last summer.  I've never had a cat before, so I didn't know if I'd like a cat or not.  I've always been a dog lover, but I've been quite taken with my little cat.  He's ornery little guy and I love to play cat and mouse with him.


Listen to me just gush!  Sorry about that.


It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.

I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?


ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.

Consider homeschooling her.

Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I believe my kids would still believe . .
had I not got totally busted by my 10-year-old son. My 7-year-old still believes. I always asked as my kids if they believe and when they said yes, I said that that is all that is important. My son caught me playing the EB last Easter. He said to me yesterday, "Come on, a giant bunny hopping around the country bringing easter baskets? How long did you expect me to fall for that?" I about split a gut laughing!!! However, both older children know how important it is to let the 7YO believe, we all watched Polar Express last night and they still were mesmerized!!!
I think a LOT of men are like that with kids
Maybe because since such a high % of marriages end in divorce, some of them keep a distance there. After all, when divorces happen, who gets the kids? Also, women tend to take charge when it comes to the kids and men tend to allow it. I truly believe that kids do not always strengthen a marriage but often the opposite. I have seen statistics stating that more couples with children get divorced than those who don't have any. Interesting, huh? JMO
That's why I won't have kids.
I have totally turned off the need/want to have kids, because I know my husband could never handle it.  I don't want to be a single parent...especially a married single parent, know what I mean?  It's an incredible commitment and they don't stay portable and nonverbal for long. 
What do your kids

What do your kids call you and your spouse? Would you mind if they changed it, as in Mom instead of Mommy, as they got older? My kids call me Mom. If they call me Ma......I correct them, I don't LIKE it!! My son's GF calls me Mommy or Mom, I don't mind. My DIL calls me by my first name, I don't mind that either. I have a stepson, he also calls me Mom.

I do but only to keep an eye on my kids. NM
x
Hello......if you want your kids to know...
about STDs and how not to get pregnant, YOU teach them. Why should there have to be programs about that at all? If you want them to have condoms, you buy them, don't ask the school nurse to hand them out. As to the genius of a President...at least he is trying. The one before him was hardly an advertisement for wise choices where sex is concerned ala black dress and use of cigars in a way that NO one ever intended...and committed felony perjury while a sitting President. Oh, but, heck....who cares, right?? Geeeezzz. Gimme a break.
Hello, yourself. If I had kids, I would...sm
Teach them those things. And if you're questioning why there s/b sex ed programs in school at all, why do you seem to be defending the current abstinence-only ones? They're worse than nothing at all because they give inadequate and downright *false* information. How is not having all the facts (or having the wrong "facts") ever a good thing? Just doesn't make any sense to me. If you want Bush to get credit because "at least he's trying" well, that seems like a pretty low standard for the president of our country.

Now as far as Clinton, I never said I was a fan. You're assuming an awful lot there. I don't even want to get into that.
I was one of four kids (sm)
and I was always wishing that my twin sister and I could have parents of our own. Living with mean older siblings was no fun!
Once again, your kids are still not that old
but when my son married, completely absorbed into not only his wifes life (which I am the first to say she comes first) but also her family and I basically just lost a son. Just swallowed up by her side and you would not know he really had a mother anymore. Quit trying on that end some time ago.
Especially with little kids
nm
Buy them, but keep away from little kids, sm
When my daughter was 2 or 3, she got her hands on one of the poppies in the back seat and must have pulled it apart and put the plastic middle up her nose. We didn't know in the beginning what was there, but after a visit to her pediatrician who couldn't get at it, a trip to the emergency room, a 5 hour wait for an ENT guy with the correct equipment to retrieve it, we discovered it was the middle of the poppy. Since then, whenever I see them selling the poppies, I tell them to warn parents with little kids to keep the poppies away from the kids.
I don't even have kids, and I
think that's coooooolllld.

It's really not nice to try to be scientific or philosophical with somebody who is going through a loss and expresses sorrow.

Did Jesus tell Lazarus' family, "Hey, dont worry about it; we'll all see him in heaven soon!" No, he took pity on them in their sorrow. That's how He is. Let's try to mirror Him, not philosophists and scientists when it comes to people who are hurting.
Probably more the kids
Love my marriage and don’t mind the divorces until I got it right. The kids are ok as long as infant, toddlers and then they grow up. Not my cup of tea anymore.
Kids going out
I have no problem with it, but there's always upwards of 10 children and at least 3 adults to supervise out all the time, but I would never let my youngest go out alone under any circumstances. We have a very quiet neighborhood, but you never know.
Some men have kids, but then
continue to spend as if they are still single. I can't believe how often I see this. They complain when the wife buys clothes, but when he buys something it has an engine and it's a big, dangerous toy!

That's why I can see why some women might want to hide money. Of course not all men are like that.
I used to buy my kids
those paint-by-numbers kits. Kept them occupied for a short time. Also go to a dollar store and load up on some new toys and books without spending a fortune.
She has kids as well
That was the deal - we were taking both of our kids to do something fun together.
kids
My DD (17 YO) has been getting her self up for years on her own.  My mom bought her an alarm clock and she started using that to get up on her own.  Now my DS on the other hand, is 20 and I still have to wake him up for work...go figure.  I think girls are just more responsible that way.
kids...
I've had both of mine doing their own laundry for about 3-4 years now, since my DD was about 12 and DS about 15, maybe younger.  My DD could take care of her own place right now (16 YO), but my DS (20 YO) is another story...maybe it doesn't have anything to do with gender after all...
kids...
Oooh, me too! They do their own bathroom, laundry, and bedrooms. I have my own to worry about.  It hasn't killed them yet!
No kids, nothing
could make me stay around to be miserable. I feel most of the times I read these posts the women really do not want to live and use children as their reason for staying. I do not think I could ever say I have been miserable, that is really bad. Only you would be able to change your life and only if you want to. Good luck.
I don't even have kids and I still
wouldn't date somebody 20 years younger than me. I happen to like having a few things in common with my mate. However, 5 years younger instead of older would have its advantages, LOL.


Took my kids to see
Billy Ray Cyrus last night and have to admit it was great! That was their first concert and of course now, he is "Hannah Montana's Dad" They really had fun though! He actually sang Achy Breaky Heart while playing his guitar and barely wiggled a hip through the whole song!