Curfew......
Posted By: sm on 2007-06-21
In Reply to: Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm - just wondering
My son is 18 years old home from college for the summer. We don't give him a curfew. At the end of last year (senior year) he was a nightmare with the attitude and there was constantly war up in my house. By the time he left for college, everyone really needed a break from each other. I had a lot of anxiety about him coming home for the summer, thinking the attitude would be home too, but to my pleasant surprise, he has been a peach so far, so I really don't bug him about what time he is home. Thus far, he has not done anything stu*pid and does not really go out all that much, once or twice a week. If he was a girl, we might have a different view of that. It is such a hard subject and if you feel strongly about it and it is disrupting your life, stick to your guns. We also live in a nice suburb and we know all of his friends that he runs with and feel good about them, so that also may be another concern for you. If it were a different situation, we may handle it differently.
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My 19 yo does not have a curfew.
Our primary goal as parents is to raise responsible adults. My 19 year old does not have a curfew, but he is a member of this household and owes us the courtesy of minimizing our worry. He tells us where he is going and tells us when he expects to be home. He calls if there are changes in plans. This is no different than the courtesy my husband and I pay each other when we keep each other informed of our whereabouts. When my son turned 18, I told him that I would no longer enforce rules or curfews, but that I had a choice about whether to continue to house him or help him with expenses. He's a very responsible young man, contributes with household chores, works and pays a good deal of his own expenses, and he appreciates the help we give him. Because he acts like an adult, we treat him like one.
Some people are not ready to be treated like adults, even when the calendar says they are over 18. You know your child. If she is a responsible young woman, then it's time to let her go. But if she needs more time to get her adult act together, you have every right to impose house rules.
curfew
Our DD, who is 18 now, had an 8:30 curfew on weeknights and 10:30 on weekends when she was 16````no exeptions.
Curfew for 18-year-old
I have an 18-year-old daughter who is a high school senior and leaving home to go to college in the fall. We had originally set a curfew for her to be home by midnight on weekends, then recently extended it to 1 a.m, much earlier on weeknights. She has a car that was provided by us (an old clunker, but the thing runs) and often goes to friend's houses in the evenings. She is otherwise responsible, has a job, gets good grades and school and gets her homework done. Lately she's come home past curfew a couple times (2 times that I know of - last night I heard the garage door open at almost 4 a.m.). I'm torn as to whether to make a big issue out of this - if she was younger, I most certainly would, but because she is 18 and otherwise a responsible girl, I don't know to what extent I should push this. Any ideas or opinions?
Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm
I have a 19 year old home from college that has a 1 a.m curfew. I cannot sleep until she gets in and so out of respect I ask her to be home. I don't mind if she has people over after 1 a.m or spend the whole night on the phone. She is fighting this big time. Supposedly she is the only one that has a curfew. She told me that when she talked to her social worker today that she said your mom needs to get over that and let her live. I told my daughter my house, my rules. Now I am wonder ing I am too hard.
My 20-year-old son doesn't have curfew...sm
He goes to to school about an hour away and comes home almost every weekend. He lives in an apartment all week with 3 of his friends, goes to school and works nights. So, I really get a laugh out of it when he comes home and actually still ASKS if he can do something on the weekend. I appreciate that he does it, but at his age I would expect him to tell me where he will be.
Then there's my 17-year-old daughter. She has to be home by 11:00 because of her junior driver's license. We have 6 more months of that and then I think we will have a problem when she turns 18.
P.S. Forgot to add my curfew time
Until I was 18.....9 p.m. week nights, 10 p.m. weekends. No leeway. Grounded for 2 weeks if I was late. I spent a lot of time grounded and depending on the offense, it was 2 weeks to 2 months. Pretty hard to have a social life that way.
In my home if she kept arguing the curfew would change to 11,
Nineteen is old enough to respect you and be considerate of your rules.
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