Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm
Posted By: just wondering on 2007-06-20
In Reply to:
I have a 19 year old home from college that has a 1 a.m curfew. I cannot sleep until she gets in and so out of respect I ask her to be home. I don't mind if she has people over after 1 a.m or spend the whole night on the phone. She is fighting this big time. Supposedly she is the only one that has a curfew. She told me that when she talked to her social worker today that she said your mom needs to get over that and let her live. I told my daughter my house, my rules. Now I am wonder ing I am too hard.
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Curfew for 18-year-old
I have an 18-year-old daughter who is a high school senior and leaving home to go to college in the fall. We had originally set a curfew for her to be home by midnight on weekends, then recently extended it to 1 a.m, much earlier on weeknights. She has a car that was provided by us (an old clunker, but the thing runs) and often goes to friend's houses in the evenings. She is otherwise responsible, has a job, gets good grades and school and gets her homework done. Lately she's come home past curfew a couple times (2 times that I know of - last night I heard the garage door open at almost 4 a.m.). I'm torn as to whether to make a big issue out of this - if she was younger, I most certainly would, but because she is 18 and otherwise a responsible girl, I don't know to what extent I should push this. Any ideas or opinions?
My 20-year-old son doesn't have curfew...sm
He goes to to school about an hour away and comes home almost every weekend. He lives in an apartment all week with 3 of his friends, goes to school and works nights. So, I really get a laugh out of it when he comes home and actually still ASKS if he can do something on the weekend. I appreciate that he does it, but at his age I would expect him to tell me where he will be.
Then there's my 17-year-old daughter. She has to be home by 11:00 because of her junior driver's license. We have 6 more months of that and then I think we will have a problem when she turns 18.
my 16-year-old girl wanted to give it up, so I did too.
nm
My 19 yo does not have a curfew.
Our primary goal as parents is to raise responsible adults. My 19 year old does not have a curfew, but he is a member of this household and owes us the courtesy of minimizing our worry. He tells us where he is going and tells us when he expects to be home. He calls if there are changes in plans. This is no different than the courtesy my husband and I pay each other when we keep each other informed of our whereabouts. When my son turned 18, I told him that I would no longer enforce rules or curfews, but that I had a choice about whether to continue to house him or help him with expenses. He's a very responsible young man, contributes with household chores, works and pays a good deal of his own expenses, and he appreciates the help we give him. Because he acts like an adult, we treat him like one.
Some people are not ready to be treated like adults, even when the calendar says they are over 18. You know your child. If she is a responsible young woman, then it's time to let her go. But if she needs more time to get her adult act together, you have every right to impose house rules.
Curfew......
My son is 18 years old home from college for the summer. We don't give him a curfew. At the end of last year (senior year) he was a nightmare with the attitude and there was constantly war up in my house. By the time he left for college, everyone really needed a break from each other. I had a lot of anxiety about him coming home for the summer, thinking the attitude would be home too, but to my pleasant surprise, he has been a peach so far, so I really don't bug him about what time he is home. Thus far, he has not done anything stu*pid and does not really go out all that much, once or twice a week. If he was a girl, we might have a different view of that. It is such a hard subject and if you feel strongly about it and it is disrupting your life, stick to your guns. We also live in a nice suburb and we know all of his friends that he runs with and feel good about them, so that also may be another concern for you. If it were a different situation, we may handle it differently.
curfew
Our DD, who is 18 now, had an 8:30 curfew on weeknights and 10:30 on weekends when she was 16````no exeptions.
P.S. Forgot to add my curfew time
Until I was 18.....9 p.m. week nights, 10 p.m. weekends. No leeway. Grounded for 2 weeks if I was late. I spent a lot of time grounded and depending on the offense, it was 2 weeks to 2 months. Pretty hard to have a social life that way.
In my home if she kept arguing the curfew would change to 11,
Nineteen is old enough to respect you and be considerate of your rules.
A lot of people are so desperate for work that some will give you free bids and give you ideas while
nm
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live? Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him? I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
You do not give them food, you give
the children food but if they did not have the food to eat, probably would call family and children services. I do NOT give away money to anyone.
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem. Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old
DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.
The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors.
Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.
The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.
Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.
A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.
I have a 9-year-old son that sounds just like your 10 year old...
Lately he has been so negative about everything...trying to make him have a good summer and whenever I take him somewhere, he is just a brat when we get home...I think they are called tweens at this age...not quite teenagers but have the attitude like one---LOL
We skipped it entirely last year, and THIS year?
This 40-year-old got dumped for a 30-year-old
http://www.gqmagazine.co.uk/CoolNewStuff/Photos.aspx?StoryID=53859
This year will be our 35th year
The first couple years it was literally 5 or 6 times a day every day (more on the weekends). Over time it gradually slowed down (once a day) and over the past few years its been 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure that is average or not. There were times were I felt it was too much and him not enough, then there were times where I wanted it more and he didn't. Guess everyone goes through a phase. I guess because of how long we've been together, now it's just comfortable - nothing exciting about it. Just a routine. I have to make it exciting in my mind and pretend I'm someone else.
I don't know what it is, but you are correct...after awhile the lust and infatuation wears off and you get in a routine. I guess for us it was that we really didn't know each other when we married (we dated for 3 weeks then eloped). Once I got to know him it was too late. Now 35 years later it is just comfort (and amazingly we never once used birth control and never had any kids). My mom still tells me she's amazed at the frequency of our encounters that not even once did I even have a "close call" with getting pregnant.
But 35 years once or twice a week and 3 or 4 times on weekends. Not sure if that is normal.
you should give it a try
what the post said about the wipes. maybe something all natural might also do it that way the baby might not have a reaction to that and its good for the dog also. do some research on the net if you can. its worth it before you give your other "baby" up. let us know what happens. if worse comes to worse, make sure you interview prospects very well just like a baby for adoption. hope the first one works for you :)
We would give a lot of it away, believe it or not. Then, of course, the sm
usual - pay bills, purchase gorgeous home, travel, etc.
We believed that those entrusted and blessed with much should give much. If you keep all that you have you become stagnant - like the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea has absolutely no outlet which is why everything dies that enters it. I don't think we are much different. Give in order to be happy.
Once they give me what I want, they
can do what they like but until then guess we will just have to continue to cut that massive yard. It takes us about 2 hours to get there and then spend time there just to cut. It is an all day thing.
I'm sure they have - they will give her something (or let her out) (sm)
If they let her spoiled brat behind out, I am going to be MAD.
Can't give him away--Nobody else would put up with him!
I have a big kitty (18 lbs) that acts just like that! Pulling on blinds, disturbing our sleep, doing anything and everything to get attention until he gets fed! We love him so much and know that we are the only ones in the world who would put up with him--so we can't give him away! I feed him 3 measured meals a day. Fortunately, I now live in a house with a basement, so I put him down in the basement at nightime with his 3rd meal. He cries and scratches on the door a little bit, but then he gets used to it and goes to sleep. Sometimes I have to put him down in the basement during the daytime too if he starts being too bad while I'm trying to work.
Do you have a bathroom you could put kitty in at night? Just make sure there's not too much in there for him to destroy. That would be more comfortable than a crate.
There was a give away
for me. An ad underneath said something about maze prank.
I'm going to give this a try...sm
These are my "four-legged boys".
then give him a key!!! nm
NM
Give him a big hug from me!!!!...
Whatta joyous day you guys had!  Cat
I'm not sure if I can give the name
legally, so I'll give you some facts -- It is a major department store that changed it's store credit card into a mastercard.
Don't give up on her. PLEASE don't give in to her.
She's 16, and its never too late. I just started reading this thread and my heart is broken. I hope other moms take it to heart after hearing your story. I have 3 teens, so can relate. My husband and I came from permissive families - you know, the cool family with the house where all the kids wanted to hang out? The houses where they could get away with anything, drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, cause the parents looked the other way. My parents were fine, upstanding, snobbish upper crust members of the community, fine church-going folks and rich. And they didn't give a hoot about their kids in the end, though we looked great on paper. I only wish my parents had rules. I was grown up since I was 14. My husband, too - that's how we met and have been together 30+ years now. Our # 1 rule since our own kids were babies... NEVER are they allowed to sleep over anyone's house. Period. No exceptions. Not relatives, not their bestest friend, not their cub scout troop. Need I say that we have never had 1 regret??? There is NO good reason for any kid to sleep anywhere than their own bed at night. Period. We realized when they were little that if we let them do the sleepover thing when they were little, but then stopped when they were older, what kind of a message was that? We knew the sweet little neighbor who at 5 years old demanded her friends sleep over, or else would throw a tantrum, would be 16 one day, and a tramp. Its that simple an equation these days, unfortunately. So, no sleep overs, no exceptions, not for church, especially not for church. LOL. How sick is that? But this is 2008 folks, and this is one messed up world. My kids were upset a bit when they were really young, but we didn't make a big deal of it, nor in the end did they. They are cool, mature teens, and have actually thanked us for it many a time lately. We took the temptation out of their hands - kids are too young to have to go thru this crap. I know, I did. At any rate, of all the rules I would start if I were you, I would go with the knowing where she slept at night, eacn and every night. Otherwise, look what's happened. She has lost this privilege at the very least. Kids don't need to not come home at night. Please don't ever fall for that one again. Even if she is at so-and-so's house, a friend, you must see what kind of kids she is hanging with. Don't allow it, for her sake. She will never ever change unless you do it for her. Praying for you. Be strong. She may hate you now, but she won't a year from now, or two. But at least she'll be alive to forgive you, rather than possibly dead. You know what I mean. Let your husband's European temperament prevail. BE STRICT. Being a strict parent does not kill your kids in the end, honest.
yes! and why do I have to give my
account number, name and address to a phone tree when I will have to do it all over again when I speak to a real person?
Don't give up!
I've been sewing all my life. My grandfather had a Sew N Vac type store when I was a little girl, and he used to have me and some of my other cousins come into the shop and sew during store hours to show customers that it was "so easy, even a child can do it!" I learned to sew before I even went to school! He even had some antique machines with foot pedals that we kids used to play with. I have all sorts of machines, from antique hand-crank Singers to cheap Wal-Mart plastic machines, and high-end Pfaff and Viking sewing machines and sergers.
Check out local sewing and fabric stores for classes. You can also try visiting Meetup.com, which is a really cool place to find all sorts of people who get together to pursue their interests. I don't know where you live, but I checked in my area, and there are several groups for beginning sewing listed. Maybe there are in yours, too.
With that said, I really have to tell you that Singer machines are not the best. Since the company was sold many, many years ago the quality has gone downhill. They are not built to last and have many parts that break very easily. In my experience, a simple mistake in threading some Singers will place a lot of tension on a weak part in the thread line. Something will snap or break, and once it's broken, you can't get the machine to feed thread properly as you sew.
Unfortunately, a really good machine can cost hundreds of dollars, and it's hard for a beginning sewer to make that sort of investment not knowing if it's something they'll be doing for a long while. I always recommend going to a store that deals in higher end machines. (Pfaff happens to be my favorite.) Then ask to try machines or take classes with their display machines. You learn basic sewing techniques and you learn what makes one machine better than another.
I suggest that if your machine is brand new, you return it for a refund. Take some sewing classes first, and try different machines. Then you can make a better, more informed purchase, which in turn, should result in successful and fun sewing!
I'm sorry. You probably didn't want to hear that, but I can't say that I'm a fan of Singer machines. Even if you get it to work, it's likely to fail not long down the road, which will only frustrate you. I'm willing to bet it's the machine and not you.
I just give
the roll a spin and catch the end of the paper. I've never given it a thought as to which way it should go.
Okay, I give up...
What are the mothballs going to do to the cat?
I have had the worst time with this new kitty. We have already tried the hot sauce and he actually likes hot sauce, interestingly enough.
He has absolutely destroyed my tree this year. It looks like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree at this point. (Not really but almost!)
I would give it to him. All of it. NM
x
Here's what I give a lot. s/m
Go to Lowe's or Home Depot and they have house numbers, usually really pretty ceramic ones, that you can "make" with a little wrought iron frame to put the house numbers in that will stick into the ground.
Let me give you an example of something else
You might have come out okay but when my daughter still in middle school, was going to a high school in the afternoons for violin meetings with the teacher and other students. Daughter came home stating how a big girl was trying to trip her, cursing, etc. and the teacher would do nothing about it. As a fly on the wall (along with others there) I attended one afternoon and saw exactly what my daughter said was true. The teacher terrified of this older girl, probably in the 10th or 11th and I went to the office, told them to come down there immediately. A day or so later I was in the office, heard the mother and the child in there together. The girl got 3 days dentention. Lady, this was 1 parent you would never want to follow and talk with/confront. She was as bad if not worse than the child and not the kind that would take to you in any kind of way saying anything to them or their child. You should thank your lucky stars on talking with the guy/son. This happened not lately but over 20 something years ago and the school rowdy then and still same way.
Aside from the give and take
and genetic personality differences, people's minds have been programmed differently due to experiences (and they way the perceive them due to genetics). Because of that we all view, hear, perceive through our own unique filters. (Have you ever noticed even in casual conversation how often other people misunderstand what you are saying?)
It seems that this is pretty much the root of most difficulty in getting along. Many people aren't really aware and go through life reacting to things (that trigger emotions) programmed from childhood. On top of that, people are usually quite unaware of how they affect other people.
We could get into a really lengthy discussion on this, but it would be difficult in writing. : )
Certain couples will have a lot easier time, and likely you are 1/2 of one of them Sally. Bonus!! Just make sure that your husband has the same perspective on the relationship. Sometimes one person thinks everything is glorious, but the other person is just sucking it up all the time.
Not trying to be nasty, but just mentioning that because that actually happens more than one would think.
I think a better promotion of marriage rather than saying you have to work at it, would be to say you need to be aware and care. : )
Can anyone give me the name of the very best
multivitamin on the market? I have tried multivitamins in the past and never noticed a difference, a friend told me that it had to do with what type of multivitamin that I am taking. I truly need something that is going to give me more energy than I have now. Can anyone recommend something please?
TIA!!!
I would give it all up too (except AC).
Everything is so expensive, even to watch TV cost $70 a month. That's just ridiculous.
I would love to sell everything and start over again and go simple. Have the cash to do some fun things instead of having to work all the time to keep the stuff. I would just like to pack up the car and drive cross country and not have to worry about anything.
GIVE ME A BREAK
If she can afford a Cadillac Escalade, then why is she on food stamps? This has nothing to do people who DESERVE the aid given to them in this country via food stamps or anything else. It's about the people who lie and abuse the system and YOU and I PAY for it in our taxes. Open your mind.....not your legs!!
Maybe that ESL could give a class
on "Keeping Your Transcriptionist Happy"! 
of course, most teachers would give a different
story, just as most MTs will tell you that they don't make enough to survive or they are living near poverty, but that's not really true either. Most people would say the same thing about any profession they choose.
Do you think a) they will give me my money or
b) I will have to take furniture out of their store? I bought some furniture, has been over a year ago and never got it, got the runaround, they never returned my money with my asking for the return after several months of no show. I filed a lawsuit, they would not answer, did not show up in court when told to and bottom line now the courts found they do owe me and if they don’t pay me by the 15th of this month (over $700.00) then I get to go with an officer of the court, take a big truck and load up more than what I think is enough to cover what they owe me in the first place. Do you think this is absolutely crazy for a big store to ignore they owe me and do they not care about how it will look if there is a police at their door as we cart off furniture? I would, of course, go on what I would hope to be an extremely busy day for them, say a Saturday. Needless to say when all this is over I will be calling the Better Business Bureau and word of mouth also so that no one else will be caught in their business dealings.
I would give her 2 options
Someone did this to me. I told her there were 2 options if she needed my help this badly. I told her that I do work, just from home so her options were:
1. Since it takes time away from my work, she would need to make up the income lost including transportation costs. Since I make about $20 an hour, she would owe me at least that much each time I had to drive her kid plus a transportation fee of $5 a day (gas and what not).
2. If she didn't want to pay, than she would get to take care of my kids at her house when she was off of work. If that meant she was off at 6, got home at 6:30, and still needed to do what needed to be done at home (dinner, cleaning, spending quality time with her family), she would have my kid with her so that I could work since I had to take time off to help her out. If I had to work at night, she could watch my kid (or just take my kid to work with her if she wanted her nights).
Needless to say, that made her realize that I do, in fact, have a job and she would need to rely on someone else. She wasn't willin to pay $25 a day nor was she willing to give up her nights for my child.
Used to give melatonin to my mom when
she mixed up night and day. She was going blind and she couldn't tell whether it was day or night. She only needed it for 2 weeks and was back on schedule. Her doctor told me about it back in 1996.
Come to think about it, maybe I should get some. I sleep an hour, then wide awake for 1 to 2 hours, then back to sleep for a couple minutes then wide awake again.This goes on all night long.
On second thought, I could just keep the 'puter running all night. Then when I'm awake, I can start working. That always puts me to sleep. 
I'll give it a try
1. How did you feel about your parent(s) being alcoholic? Were you embarrassed?
2. Did you ever try alcohol yourself when you were a kid?
3. (If there were arguments or other disturbances) What did you do when your parents argued? Were you scared?
4. Did you ever have any friends over to your house or were you afraid your parent(s) would embarrass you?
5. Do you drink at all now? If so, are you afraid of becoming an alcoholic?
These are all probably things you have already thought of. I really applaud your willingness to put yourself out there and open yourself up to help these young people. That is a wonderful thing to do!
Why are you not going to give it to your daughter?
I am just curious? I have done very little research on this. My DD is 14 and we have decided to wait at least another year or so and by then who knows.
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