Does not really matter why, especially if there are children involved
Posted By: Fingers on 2009-05-28
In Reply to: before we give our opinion, isn't it important - *
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For the sake of her family. There are children involved.
nm
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Abusive to women, animals - thank goodness there are no children involved. (sm)
get her out of that situation before any more harm comes about.
Youngest daughter once dated a guy and we discovered she was afraid to not be ready on time, to wear something he didn't like, etc. Soon we found out there were bruises on her upper arms and near her breasts. Needless to say, we marched her to the courthouse, got an ex parte. He broke into our house after that when he thought she was home alone, we pressed charges and had that young man paying court costs for quite some time in addition to going to anger management classes.
We were lucky, we got her out before it was too late. He had her emotionally beat down to the point she couldn't stand up on her own. Heaven help those without a support system.
Not involved
NM
I would have never ever gotten involved with my
I only did because he accepts my biracial son and is a father to him. I guess you can say I settled. He loves me totally and completely but I cannot love him and will not marry him. ever.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
And I was involved with a CASA
before for stepgchildren and personally I did not find them to be that hot. They actually played a part in giving back the children to a strung-out mother who lived off the welfare system, never worked, lazy, good for nothing but they feel like "kids should be with their mothers." Ok, so they went back and last I heard the mother was gone and the kids out on the streets, oh well you live and learn. Mothers around not always the best.
Has anyone been involved with Meetup.com?
I've been thinking about starting a meetup group to get my daughter together with other girls her age who enjoy art and crafting. But I'm a little hesitant to start one because I don't have any experience with being involved in a group this way. I really wouldn't want to hold anything at my house right away with complete strangers, that would be something that could happen later on as we all got to know each other better. I would love to hear about experiences that people have had with any type of group that has met this way. Thanks!
There's a landlord involved here?
You have rights - if he is violating the rules and/or the law with respect to noise violations he either fixes the problem or moves. Check out the law in your state.
I didn't say I was getting involved - sm
I simply told the background and asked for positive thoughts for her and her son. That's it. I'm not going to tell her what to do.
Right now I am involved in about 15 things and I'm trying to sm
find a way to cut it down to half. If you are older and you don't have small kids, then I suggest getting involved in church more. I have 3 young sons so we are constantly going from ball practice to ball practice. In between that I teach 2 Sunday School classes, attend a mid-week Bible study, have lunch with husband every Friday, work out 4 days a week, work 25+ hours a week at MQ, visit friends and family out of town quarterly, PLUS I am involved heavily in 2 other major ministries at church - Pastor prayer partners and the Invitation Team.
If that isn't enough, I scrapbook like crazy and take lots of pictures.
I also write notes to people I haven't seen in a while, or I'll just write cards to people in general and tell them I'm praying for them and that takes an hour or so.
Oh, did I also mention that I am a freelance writer for a Christian publication?
I also write material and Bible studies for our church.
I used to bowl every Thur. morning, but quit that. May take up an evening league one night a week. I love to bowl.
I am up LATE every single night and hit the ground running early in the morning to start homeschooling. The only time I have to myself every single day is after 10 o'clock every night. If I need 2 hours I take 2 hours. If I need more sleep, then I'm in bed by 10:30. I take whatever time I need for myself every single day.
Find something you enjoy and just do it. Take a class at the library. Learn to quilt. Learn to sew. Learn to play an instrument. The key is doing something you enjoy doing: cooking, reading, etc.
Life is too short to waste doing nothing or sitting around wasting time. There's work to be done!!!!!!!
guess you'd say I'm really involved!
I was close to my mother's parents as a child. They were my second parents and I probably lived half the year on their farm. I see it as being a good thing for me. My GP lived way out in the woods and never drove "to town," so they only left home to attend weddings and funerals, otherwise my parent(s) took me there.
When my daughter was pregnant, I lived 1000 miles away, but we talked on the phone almost daily. When my GD was born, I was able to visit when she was 2 weeks old and I knew I had to move back to the area. She is a manipulative person and I had long ago set limits that I would do anything for her out of love that didn't involve money, so I kept my GD every other weekend and more if asked. I supported my daughter emotionally in every way I could. If she asked my opinion, I always tried to give a balanced opinion and never interfered when my opinion was not asked, although if something came up later I would try to offer options for a situation. When things fell apart for her, I am glad I was there to catch my GD so she was not lost to CPS. I am now adopting her.
I am blessed to be a grandmother...although I hope this is the only one :)
Grandparents are not involved much. . sm
It's funny you should ask this question today. My mom, who lives 90 minutes away, came for a visit. We haven't seen her in about 4 months. My 2-year-old didn't know who the heck she was and was scared of her for the first day she was here. We only see her 3 to 4 times a year. I wish we could see her more. My dad died when my oldest was one. He had never even met him.
My husband's parents have little to do with the kids. They live 20 minutes away, and we hardly see them. It really hurts because they always have my SIL's kids. They are the same age as my kids and spend almost every weekend at their house. During the summer, they spend even more time with them. After a couple of years of this, I finally asked them why they don't ever have my kids over. They said they will try to spend more time with them. Last summer, they invited the oldest to spend one night, and the SIL's kids were there. I am giving up. Sorry this got so long. I am really sad about this right now.
Involved with grandsons
age 15 and 8.... My DH & I sold our home as did my daughter and SIL. We bought one together. My daughter could not "bear" it if something happened to us so she pretty much decided this four years ago. So far it has worked out pretty well except I can't be involved with the grandsons spiritually as they are into another "type" of spiritual organization than I. That has been and probably always will be the most difficult task I have ever encountered to share my beliefs with them. I just continue to pray that everyone will be on the right path TOGETHER in the end.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
I did try to get a consumer advocate involved
but no luck. Called 1 day and would not take my call, guess he had more important ones that day. I agree totally with you about getting a news channel involved, I just decided maybe if I went the court way might would stand a chance, knew I could go after their banking acct or garnishment if the courts on my side and it turned out that way. The price they owe me has gone up over $100 just for my court costs and now they owe those in addition to what it was in the first place. The courthouse steps is the way the county does where I purchased the furniture. We could have it at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as long as I retrieve what is owed.
How is it not a big deal when there are kids involved? (sm)
He has a choice - I have given him 10 years and he just does not care about my opinion. Why can he not change at all to keep his family together?
You talk like the only ones involved with big taxes
My father got killed in an accident, left me his property, I sold and for upcoming year MY taxes on that ALONE over $13,000.00. I did not fuss, I did not oh woe me- just put that money in the bank to draw interest until tax time. Know I owe and have that set aside. That does not count all the other taxes DH and I pay for the year and I sound like a grinch? Sure don’t get that remark. I am as much into keeping all that I can but EVERYONE (unless on welfare) has to pay their share, until and if they change the laws. I would be glad for any bonus he or I either one got but not happening here, so where does grinch come in?
Unless your son was involved in the incident, they probably would not inform you.
If the schools had to inform all parents of every single incident that occured between students, that could be a full-time job unto itself for 2 or 3 people in some schools. It sounds like the school took proper measures in disciplining the students involved in the incident.
As far as the post below regarding the 4th grade girl and her lies, I am sure that the boy in question knew what she was saying and may or may not have told his parent(s). At any rate, that would be a matter for the families of the children involved.
Illegal and all involved should be prosecuted.
NM
apologies heal all involved --
acknowledged or not.
I am inspired.
If you care about your kids, you will be involved sm
in the drama of high school life! I am very involved with my kids and their "drama" because I am a good listener and care about what my kids have going on in their life. I am there to listen to them and give them advice. Isn't that what parents are for?
I would throw the son a b-day party and if girls came, they came. If not, you can still have fun with just the boys. Do a campout for them. Sounds like the girl needs to get a life and get over it! She is just jealous.
My understanding is that both parties involved are black. nm
x
Since there are kids involved, I'd think long and hard (sm)
about leaving him. It's quite easy for others to tell you he needs to be dumped, but they sure won't live with the aftermath.
Take the 100k and remodel the house. Forget adding on. Spend the money on creating a fabuous kitchen with hearth room, fix structural defects, redo the kids' rooms; totally redecorate exactly the way you want with no regard to his taste, and get a nice new minivan to haul the kids around to play dates.
Oh, spare a little money to build a bedroom in the barn. He loves the yard and barn so much, he can live there.
See, this way if you stay and work on your marriage, you'll have a beautiful home you can live with. If his selfish ways finally push you beyond tolerance and love for him, you'll have a great house to put on the market. With your half of the sale, you'll finally be able to have the home you've always dreamed of. It's a win-win for you.
That is precious. It really is. Too many husbands not involved these days! nm
.
I don't understand the ethics of the doctors involved
xx
Just started Healthy Performance..cooking involved though.
It has been just a little over 24 hours. I CAN do this. Sometimes it just takes a kick in the butt to get me moving in the right direction and I think this is gonna do it. Good luck to you!
Normal. I think jealousy is involved & also that his hormones are starting
s
Dog killing and mayor involved in letter writing
I am really in a twizzy this morning. Shirley Franklin, city of Atlanta mayor, wrote a letter to the judge involved in the Michael Vick dog fighting/killing asking for leniency as, how she put it, Vick had done a lot for the community and helped folks out. Phooey!!! I hope personally he never is able to return to the Falcons or any other football team. I think whatever he was able to accomplish was blown by the fact that he participated in the killing of dogs. How inhumane is that? I hope PETA gets out and strikes each and every time (if he is rehired by any jackoffs) he is supposed to be playing. Came from the ghetto and I suppose the thug still in him. What a shame. Never made a million in my life and he made mega millions and then threw it all away for ??? I am vexed by her doing such a deed and will send letter stating my feelings.
Talk to DFS, Juvenille Officer involved in the case (sm)
and if the children are appointed a CASA or Guardian Ad Litem, also make yourself known to them. When these children are taken in as wards of the court suitable family placement is always looked at. From experience I will tell you there are many, many wonderful foster-adoptive families out there just waiting for these babies.
By the way, if you are awarded custody of this child and the child does have special needs, the state will steer you towards getting assistance in getting what help you need.
It would be lovely if all the children could be kept together and sometimes this is possible. You will find out much more after the initial hearing I suppose.
Good luck to you and the children. Bless their little hearts, they only know mommy is mommy and have no idea of what a good mommy should be. I have seen children who have been physically and verbally abused and neglected by parent who still love and want to be with them. They don't know anything different.
Once again, good luck.
Sounds good to me. Glad girls are involved in video
xx
Gays march for their rights to be involved with their long-time partners
health care should a drastic decision be made. It is usually a family member...even though we are the ones who take care of our partners when they are sick or dying. We fight for the right not to be thrown out of a shared house by the partner's parents. We want to honor our partner's wishes when they die as we are the ones who have spent years with them - not the family. These are just a few examples.
As far as your comment that we influence young people - that is absurd. All we want is to live our life and as pxmt said, be able to walk down the street without abusive comments, being assaulted, ridiculed, etc.
The school system is not segregating gay children - they are making it "gay friendly and teaching tolerance". Suicide is very high in gay children because of the parents who teach their children that it is evil and it is okay to bash a gay child. These schools are just trying to save the lives of young children.
As far as your comment that Christian's homes and churches are burned, sorry but I cannot recall one incident that I have read or saw on the news. Temples yes. As far as being assaulted for your beliefs, could it be because you stand in front of abortion clinics and gun down the doctors and nurses that come out or go into the clinic? Could it be that you bully the 15 and 16-year-olds who have been raped and want an abortion?
Sorry to say this, at least we (gays) are not violent and just want to be left alone.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
It really does not matter what you believe...sm
As a Christian, I believe in the Bible being the word and truth of God... and there is a h*** (sorry to use this symbo, but I have been told when trying to post this that this is a "bad" word) just as there is a heaven....we all make a choice in our lives which place we will go to in the end. People will always find an excuse not to go to Church...and that is what they are excuses. As a Christian I am no less a person than anyone around me....people just try harder to see my sins to see me fall. But being a Christian does not make my sins go away, I just have to repent and try not repeat them. I am not perfect...there was only One who was! There is always strife and discord in any Church...whether you choose to become part of it is just that...your choice. And yes, Jesus stands for love and forgives, but he does not ask us to be tolerant of the world....love the sinner and hate the sin. God is only tolerant to a point and then he will punish.
For the record, I celebrate Halloween with my children....no horror or blood and guts. We do the Trunk or Treat at our Church for the community and decorate our car in a bibilical theme.
No matter where you go..sm
there you are! Sounds like you 2 lovebirds are gonna have a real blast. Be safe out there.  Cat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygs2xfjJG2M
he probably said to himself, "I am not going down no matter what". LOL
I am sure his adrenaline was pumping like crazy at that point. You could tell the entire team wanted that win so bad and they deserved it.
Different matter
I don't think it sounds like a matter of not forgiving him for something that happened 4 years ago. It sounds more like you don't love him anymore. If that's the case, then you deserve the chance to find happiness with someone else. IMHO. Good luck to you!
Why does it matter?
why does your sister care how much money she has? about the husband, Im a bit confused about that one... if they are married, isn't it both their money?
Anyways, I would take it up with my sis before ever saying anything to mom.
don't think that would matter with IVF - nm
xxx
I there is a will, it does NOT matter
WHO COMES FIRST!
Anybody who makes a will can DETERMINE WHO COMES FIRST and can cut out anybody he/he wants from the inheritance.
Ony if there is no will, the
state takes over as executor and distributes the assets according to WHO COMES FIRST.
And watch what you are saying and the TONE in which you are saying it, I am probably better informed than you are.
It does not matter which is what!
MY point is that the word
STUPIDER
exists!
Anon said there is NO word 'stupider'!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
A little 'slow?'
what does it matter
My mother is a sociopath, and that is the tip of the iceberg.
Sounds like you have had a very unhappy family life for a very long time.
What do you think is the matter
with these types of people? A brain issue, early trauma? It's hard to believe anyone would just WANT to be a pain in everyone's A$$!
While I don't understand why you had no say in the matter, if he..
is going to continue staying with her, I would just not say anything, because if she is nasty she will end up taking it out on him. Any chance you could move to that particular school district so he could live with you again? Other than for your son being there, why did you HAVE to keep in touch with them? Good luck.
No matter how responsible you are
and how much time you spend with them, you cannot be there 24-7 to supervise them. That is completely unrealistic. Can we take them to the doctor, to the store, to the kids' school? Come on now.
There is a responsible way to crate an animal. No matter how much you train them, my labs still would have eaten anything in site for a certain period of time. There is no way I would leave them unattended to run my errands and chance them getting into something that could harm them. Regardless of the material objects as you call them, they could get hurt.
Also, a child does need a crib and a playpen. To say that those are used so that you do not have to supervise your kids is ridiculous. Everyone has to go to the restroom at some point. Should we carry them everywhere or perhaps let them run around so they can get into something that would harm them until we finish our business? Wow....
I believe a pediatrician would even tell you that those are necessary in raising a healthy child, and I am not talking about someone who puts their kids in a playpen all day instead of spending time with them either.
But no matter where she lives, she is still
just not that pretty and I personally would not want to be her, no matter where she lives. I love my neighborhood and I don’t have man hands, huge teeth, watermelon head, toothpick body and no one has ever complained about my voice. I do not like her show at all.
As a matter of fact, he did.
Actually, a few years later he took the boys, then 8 and 14, because they needed the discipline of a dad. Bad mistake! He'd convinced me he had changed, but then went out to his play rehearsals and band practice every night, leaving the boys at home. I'd sue to get custody back, he'd shape up for awhile, I'd back off, and the cycle repeated until I ran out of money. The boys are grown now, doing basically okay. He's just pathetic now.
My daughter does matter
My 6-year-old values her "family." She does not express her feelings much but I caught her in her room crying one night and she broke down and told me she does not want to lose her family. Divorce is a very traumatic thing for a child of any age and her mental health is worth it to me.
Now, the decision here is if things are dysfunctional enough here to be hurting her worse than if I stayed. This is what I need to figure out.
But the love of my child is worse sacrifying a part of me. She is my world and her happiness means EVERYTHING.
Would it matter that she is almost 10 y/o and not in a daycare? sm
We were at soccer practice Monday night for her and last night for her sisters. Sisters are 12 and 6. they do not have them.
As a matter of fact -
I love making cinnamon-rasin bread with this same recipe. Also, it's great for homemade pizza and bread sticks - and a lot cheaper than sending out, though maybe a little more labor intensive! Worth it for the taste, though. I've also made fried dough on special occasions. Great minds DO think alike!
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