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I've been taught 'Herb' is the name, and

Posted By: '(h)erb' is the plant. - nm on 2008-01-25
In Reply to: A bit of an off beat question but just wondering - trose




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I was always taught the same sm
It is the thought that counts but I just could not justify that last Christmas.

My MIL (who I get along with great) collects a particular item (she has well over 100) and gives me and my SIL one every Christmas. At Thanksgiving I politely told her I just didn't have the room for anymore. I also told my SIL that if given the chance please tell her mother I don't want another one. She just laughed and said I don't think that is what she is going to get you. Even SIL agrees her mother's collection is way out of hand.

When I opened my gift from her it was of course this particular item I did not want. Her exact words were "I know you said you didn't want or need another one but I thought this one would be useful." I did thank her but I assure you it was not the most sincere thank you.

I think this year for Christmas I will give her a bottle of wine and say "I know you don't drink, but I do and this way when I visit I can have a glass." LOL!
I was taught
I was taught that a woman can be assertive, but it is rude to be aggressive. Guess shoes have different rules LOL
That's what we were always taught
We were told growing up that the use of foul language just showed how limited someone's vocabulary was. And I will say that most of the people I know well do NOT use the F word on a casual basis. For that matter, most of the people I know do not curse at all on the average day.

I always think it's bizarre that movies use so much gratuitous cursing, considering that is not how most people talk. At least that's what I thought.
And you were not taught manners
growing up - so rude.....Your post sounds like the wedding gift receipt I got which was also rude - the couple already had a thank you printed out- I took the time to get them 1 - they should have the decency to write a quick note- to have printed was not the way I was brought up.
So sorry I was taught as a child if given something
I should say thank you and accept, but then my mother taught me manners. If you do not like a gift you receive you can a) return or b) pass it on to someone who will. I give what I want to and if you don’t like, then do 1 of the above. Mind your manners. When I give something, I do not ask a person what they want and my gift comes because I want to give, not have to.
I was taught to be gracious
Regardless of the gift, you must always be gracious. They didn't need to give you anything at all and I was taught it was the thought that counts. What you do with it afterwards is up to you, but I have a few hideous gifts hanging around yet that I don't part with because of who gave them to me. A particularly creepy clown music box given to my kids comes to mind. It was given to them by an old lady who lived next door to us and I guess she thought it was nice. My kids are grown now but they said that thing always gave them the willies! LOL!

That's how I taught my kids.
Why would you call them anything different? I raised my children as to be intelligent human beings and never, ever used "baby talk" with them.

If you call them the right name from the beginning, the kids don't develop that "embarrassment" about using the right terms later on.
some parents need to be taught to....
nm
I just think this younger generation just needs to be taught! sm
I am a woman in my 30s. Got married almost 10 years ago. I lived up north for a long time and married a man from the "true" south. Okay. Here I go - and I may get flamed for this, but here I go...When I lived in NY, I NEVER saw a thank-you note or even saw anyone in my family write one. Never. So, I was never "taught" that you write thank-you notes due to my upbringing.

I think it is a cultural thing. Maybe it's even a socioeconmic thing. Yes, we were very poor growing up in NY. Both my parents made around 26,000 combined with 3 children.

Fast-forward. I move down here, meet this amazing guy with a large family - most have money - lots of it - we have a huge wedding - I receive more gifts than I could even count - met people at my wedding I've never seen before in my life - the southern generosity has been overwhelming, and still is. We go on our long honeymoon and when I get home, my MIL calls and says to me, "Mrs. so and so (from the wedding shower), still hasn't received your thank-you note. Maybe you just forgot to send hers out. In any case, just thought I'd let you know! EMBARASSING! So, I pulled out my thank-you cards that came with my wedding invites and began writing thank you notes. That is where the LOVE of writing thank-you notes and just-writing-to-say-hello notes began. I LOVE doing it now. Love it. My family up north and around the country are amazed.

Here again, I was TAUGHT by my new mother-in-law, so to speak, and she did it in a very tactful manner.

Writing notes is just an amazing ministry and I love to do it. I get them printed off and personalized now with either my initial or my full name. You can get them on ebay, they will print 20 of them for you with corresponding envelopes for around 10 bucks.

Anyways, this was my experience.
My grandpappy from Arkansas taught
me to make cornbread, not sweet, heat cast iron skillet with grease (to which corn meal has been sprinkled) til it smokes then pour in the batter, let the oil ooze up on top. It turns out crunchy crust. So good!! He used to eat it cold crumbled into a glass of buttermilk!
Spanking just taught my child it was okay to hit.
We never spanked our kid until he was around 2.5. Then dad got fed up with his behavior one day and spanked him. We also tried swatting him on the hand when he did something bad. Now my son has decided that hitting is what we do when we are mad and now hits me whenever he is upset. He never did this until he started receiving spankings. I really don't think spanking/switching is the answer and just sends the wrong message to the kids. But that is just my opinion and I realize everyone is entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
Jesus himself taught us not to judge others - let he who is without sin (sm)
cast the first stone.  None of us has any right to say anything about how anyone else is living.  We need to take care of the log in our own eye.... remember?
As an MT you have to be flexible and inventive, that's was I was taught!..nm
nm
I was taught to "always ignore the ignorant."

Unfortunately, I've run into people like that before, and I just ignore the comment, make nice chit-chat for a few minutes and "see you later alligator."   At least, I demonstrated what my values are and did not degrade myself to their level.  The main word here is "ignorant."  There are so many people out there that are ignorant of their own manners, ignorant of other people's feelings, just tactless mules.


Grandpa from Tennessee taught me to cook it
x
Also, abstinence is taught regularly - kids'
We were always taught abstinence when I was in school.  It was practically shoved down our throats, and I would estimate that only about 10% of the student population actually abstained.  That is great for them, and they should be proud, but you can't leave the other 90% in the dark about safe sex, because they will be having it, and isn't better if they know all about the possible consequences of their actions and how to be as safe as possible?  That's just my view of it.  Safety first!
No outside contact & children and women taught
nm
Of course I would want to be equally valued. Why can't that be taught at home? nm
x
I find it very offensive that is how you taught your daughter to vote
if my other post is deleted, just thought id add some more.

Not only is it ridiculous that you told your daughter to vote that way, it is ignorant and racist and REALLY SAD
but you just admitted what this election came down to RACE
NOT POLICIES, NOT WHO IS THE BEST FOR THE JOB.
RACE. Exactly what President Elect didn't want it to be about.
how sad are you telling your mixed baby to vote more black than white, when Obama himself is black and white.
sickening and you should be ashamed, how can you live with yourself knowing that you didn't back your vote on intelligence but skin color instead? you just took us back 40 years and admitted it.

there are PLENTY of black republicans, Condeelza Rice, JC Watts, Michael Steele ETC ETC

and this guy my favorite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV1mRvxAyHM

AND

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxhYampIl7A&feature=related
Emeril Legasse taught me about hard-boiled eggs

Emeril says to put the eggs in the pot with the  cold water, and wait for it to boil, when it's a rolling boil, shut off the stove, and cover the pot for 13 minutes - and voila!!  Perfect hard-boiled eggs!!


 


*S*


 


How do you feel about toddlers being taught to call their private parts
a v*gina and a peni$ ? Just wondering
If you've got one, you've got bunches!

How do ya feel about cats?  That's what I'd do...get a cat...but I love cats and love it when they bring me 'presents' of dead varmints. 



If that's not an option, and you're not comfortable with baiting, glue traps, or that sort of thing, it'd be worth it to hire a professional 'cridder ridder' or exterminator.  Those things will chew up your walls and floorboards like you have no idea and cause incredible amounts of damage.  Good luck in your jihad! 



 


 


I've done this 12 yrs and I've had to take breaks sm
Took a break and worked at my kids preschool one year, worked at a hospital one year, took a couple months off once. It does burn you out because it takes all of your concentration. When I worked at the hospital as a secretary I could not believe how easy the job was ;-) I was sooo used to just getting paid for actual work that when I had a conversation with a coworker or a phone call or took lunch, I felt like I was getting away with a lot! I hope your break works out!! I wish you lived close-by, we could take turns watching each others kids ;-)
I've been using...
Zicam severe congestion. It gives me temporary relief and I've been taking Singulair, but originally nasal discharge was clear, this morning it was yellow (don't mean to gross anybody out). Could it have turned into a sinus infection? And if so, is it time to see the doctor??
I've tried that...

I've done that along with changing my diet but still no relief.  I just received an e-mail saying to try vitamin E which is what I am going to try next.


Thanks a bunch.....


I will try that too, I've had enough of this...sm

where to I go to do this, remove IE7 and reinstall IE6.


TIA


oh yea, we've been through that one . . SM
My husband is the type of person that avoids conflict, does not want to face it, because if you pretend it's not there, it isn't, right???? Yea. He was in counseling for a while, but never went back after a few times. He really felt like last night was a punch in the face, like it's a game or something . . . like if you look the part, you ARE the part.
I've been there...
Hang in there...
I have one, but I've only had it for a day
I definitely can't do more than a minute on it, as it REALLY targets my inner thighs. I can really feel it working already, but I don't know what the benefit is going to be to everything it states, i.e. thighs, abs, back. I did a lot of research before I bought it and the only negatives I found were about ordering it through the company's website. So, I ordered it through QVC and saved a lot of money. Plus I received it only 3 days after I ordered it with no extra shipping charge.
A few I've seen....
The Wedding Date
Must Love Dogs
In Her Shoes
The Family Stone
In Good Company
What's the most you've ever won? sm
How did you win it?
I've with you on that! --nm
nm
LOL, I've seen some of those!
  I admit it, I must be a pervert 'cause I think it's hysterical.
I've been on it
now going on 3 weeks and love it. I never use up my points and am always full. Best thing is you can still eat the foods you love. I only purchased the starter kit and did not join. I feel better and have lost weight and best of all I'm never hungry. But, like everything else, 1 diet doesn't fit all. I've tried Nutrisystem, Adkins,Right Size Smoothies, and Medifast and they didn't work for me. So far WW has worked. Also, you don't have to give up the "cool ones" on this plan.
me too - I've been doing this for over 9 (sm)
Same problem, and it doesn't go away overnight. Mostly my right (pedal) foot. Is yours?
I think I've seen something like this
But can't remember which one...a bride having her bridesmaids sign a contract, yeah right...I'd tell her exactly where she could put all her demands...geez!
We've actually done that (sm)
There is, unfortunately, an "out", meaning that if they have ever been invited to call (We refi'd our house and had been calling mortgage brokers, etc) they are exempt from the list, at least in New York. So it could be a brokerage or something trying to drum up business (not my problem)but all I have is an 866 number to go by, no name on the caller-ID. I wonder if you can get them back on the list after your business is finished.
I've been there

I understand.  For 17 years I dealt with this, always feeling like I was never doing enough, if only I could do more then maybe....  I became very ill myself because of it.  I had no life of my own, -- I lived for the next crisis, just like you -- and no one could understand, not even my doctor.  I didn't find peace until I took the burden off my shoulders and put it on His--until I realized I had a responsibililty to God for my own life and I was losing my life, my freedom to find His Will for me and do it, to someone else's addiction.  In this case, it was my mothers's.  She was there night and day as well, no escaping.  I gave up my outside job and worked from home too.  I finally had to move in order to remain sane and THEN other family members had to start doing their share of helping out while I tried to regain some sense of self. It wasn't until then that she even got a clue that I had a right to my own life. 


Your daughter, loved though she be, is robbing you of your life.  That is not right.  But I don't know of a stronger bond than that between a mother and a daughter no matter what problem may arise.   One can never really walk away, forget it, etc. like so many will tell you to do.  Inside, that bond lives strong.  All you can do is find a way to deal with it, a way that is fair to you, healthy for you, a way that will keep you strong or else she will take you down with her. 


For me, it was distancing myself physically and praying for her.  I realized for all my love of her, only He could make the changes in her, and He did once I acknowledged how true the words are, "Without Me, you can do nothing."  Now I pray for and expect miracles if it so be His Will when I have problems I cannot resolve.  It brings great peace and strength -- and HOPE because I've seen first-hand how prayer made with faith truly does bring them and I don't feel like I am carrying the burden all by myself anymore and then I accept whatever He lets happen, realizing He in His wisdom knows more than I.   


Talk to a therapist -- tell them what you've just written here.  Again, they might have access to resources you don't know about.  If their advice sounds harsh, and it probably will, listen anyway.  Consider it.  Your life DOES matter too.  But don't ever lose hope in God.  Ask for the strength and courage to do what must be done for the sake of the both of you and grace for her to change.  Nothing is impossible for Him to do.  Nothing. 


Have you read the books by Melodie Beattie?  They help.  Feel free to e-mail me if you wish. 


Oh thank God. I've been following this sm
and have been just sickened by the whole thing. What a pretty little girl. Such a terrible thing to happen to an innocent child.
N/T - That's what I've been doing
I've been watching a lot of episodes, or at least bits and pieces of them online to get caught up. Some things still confuse me. The new season looks really good.
I don't think I've met one since
I was a kid. You're right - it is a very alert breed. It could run very fast and bark, definitely running a tight ship, even if it was on dry land.

They are very beautiful dogs, and live longer than any breed, which sounds really good to me.
Yes I've had it (sm)
and it is very annoying, but it did go away. I just tried to get my exercise and sleep and do some facial stretching exercises where I stretch and relax my jaw and other facial muscles. I try to pretend the twitch isn't there, and pretty soon it isn't.

Hope it quits soon.
Yes I've had one
I had one a few years ago...not that bad, just uncomfortable. It only takes a few minutes. It's like a large needle that they insert through a small incision over the area in question. It suctions a bit of tissue out and that's it. Mine was benign. Good luck to you!
Thank you....I've done it...sm

4 times and my sons have done it once...They went through blazes in the south in high school with their long, patterned braided hair (they learned to braid themselves bkz I could never get it tight enough to suit them).  But, when ridiculed by their coaches, school administration and teaching staff they replied, "Cause we want to donate to Locks of Love like mom, and it's hard to get a good grade of black hair...It's not just white kids that get cancer".  Cat


 


 


I've got to say
That sex scene with the old girlfriend amputee was quite something!  I'll never be the same!
I've done this...and..
I was a struggling single parent working for a doctor and in the 10 years I worked for him I had to get an advance twice. He was very kind and thought nothing about helping me. He also gave me a loan to get out of debt with a 3-year payback plan ($50 out of each check). This way he also insured that I would stay at least 3 year until my debt was worked off..LOL..so it worked for us and I ended up staying 10 years and I still do fill-in work for him. He saved a single mom's life..I would never ask a large employer, but usually small companies are very kind to their employees as they want to keep you..
If MT is all you've ever done, and yer too old for - sm
going back to school to be a viable option if yer already workin' a 12 to 14-hr day, then yes, we ARE struggling. The only way an MT can make money these days is to marry it.
Yes, actually I've currently got - sm
FOUR litter pans. I clean them constantly, wash out daily, have tried every kind of litter they sell. She doesn't seem to care, except she wont use the natural kinds. Feliway was an expensive failure. It seems to be more behavioral than anything. If I stand right there and say "Use your box", she will. (Knows she's gonna get a treat!) crate-training helped the first time, by the 4th it was fruitless. Called the rescue she came from but they won't take her back, saying she's un-adoptable, and the only choice left is to put her down. So, this is pretty much her last chance. Getting the medication into her is no walk in the park, either - she hooked a claw right into a vein on my arm last night. I advertised her for adoption last week, just to see if I got any takers, and all I got was a kid with a boa constrictor.
I've had 4...
I was a flake, but I was also a fertile turtle and a statistic: 2 pregnancies happened WHILE on birth control. The first time, I was a teenager. There is no way I could have had a kid. I don't regret ending the pregnancies; I didn't feel guilty, & I still don't. I remember at the time I was consumed with anxiety about the whole thing, but I never considered having a baby & giving it up. Selfish? Whatever. Sometimes I think the word "selfish" has gotten a bad rap. I couldn't formulate the thought of, let alone wrap my mind around, the concept of going through a pregnancy & making someone else a parent when I was 16.

The last 2 pregnancies occurred when I was on birth control and was married. I simply did not want to have a kid. Period.

For awhile 4 abortions seemed like a huge number until I talked to a birth control counselor at a college I was going to...she told me that on her first day as a counselor she had talked to a woman who had had 28 (not a typo) abortions. Now THAT is extreme. I don't think abortion should be a form of birth control.

I've never regretted not having children. There have been times I have regretted not having gone through the birth experience, but I have never, ever wanted to be a parent. So it's okay. Mothering, at least in part, can be experienced in other ways (beyond the scope of this post), & this is enough for me.
I've done it - sm
When we would go on vacation and still had milk I'd freeze it rather than pour it down the drain. It always seemed fine when I thawed it out again. Not to mention, I used to always freeze breast-milk when I was working out of the house or for babysitters (for what it's worth). Go ahead - give it a try. The only thing, though, it will probably go bad a little faster after it's thawed.
I've been there

I have been in your shoes.  Last year my husband died unexpectedly at age 56, I literally woke up one morning and he was dead in our bed next to me (aneurysm).  That started a downhill spiral . . . . since then I've lost our home to foreclosure, my car has been repo'd, and I lost my job due to cuts at the hospital.  I can't begin to tell you how depressed I've been.  I've had to make some major changes as you can well imagine.  I am working now and starting to pull myself up out of the dark hole I've been in.


The poster above is right.  You need to see a doctor.  I found out that most major health systems have programs for those of us with no insurance and no money.  Call their financial offices and just tell them point blank you need to be seen and you have no insurance.  They will not refuse you.  I found a clinic near my house that is part of a large hospital.  I was able to see a doctor for a physical and get my annual Pap and mammogram done at no charge.  They gave me samples of my medications (I have asthma) for a few months until I had insurance again.  They prescribed an antidepressant which worked wonders and they gave me that as samples each month.


Move closer to your family.  You'd be surprised how supportive and helpful they can be.  My family has been supportive of all the decisions I've had to make and helped me through them.  Spend time with your grandchild, kids can make you feel so much better.  If you're not making much money, go sign up for assistance.  I did.  I didn't think I ever would, but I had no choice.  For just myself I was given 174.00 a month for food and it helped out tremendously.  I know it's hard, but you have worked all these years and you have paid into these programs all along, now is the time for you to benefit from them.  You may be hesitant to take free medical care or ask for food benefits, but remember THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY and you will get back on your feet.  It may take a while, but you will make it.  Good luck to you.