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I actually enjoy the hermitude.

Posted By: CrankyBeach on 2009-05-16
In Reply to: is it just me? - isolated

And yes, I made up that word. :)

I am divorced, no kids, I live alone, and I do NOT miss the office politics. I loved my former boss but I worked with a bunch of dysfunctional harpies, and it is such a relief now that I only associate with people of my own choosing. Mostly. I get out to church on Sunday mornings, women's home fellowship on Wednesday nights, and occasionally hook up with a friend for coffee or something, but mostly I stay home, just me and my books and my music, my few TV shows and my online friends. I was actually more lonely when I was married.

But clearly you have a very different set of circumstances and needs, and I am afraid I don't have a lot to offer, if you're looking for advice... it sounds like you and hubby don't have a lot in common anymore, and that can be a real challenge. When my husband and I stopped having interests in common, it was really all over but the shouting; I went out and found some new interests of my own, and he did NOT like that, although he was not willing to meet me halfway in trying to find new things to do together. I said to heck with this, goodbye, it's a lot more fun to be alone all by yourself than with someone else being an albatross around your neck!

I guess maybe I'm just turning into a curmudgeon in my old age. 53 and still premenopausal, and going to bed alone with a book.

But again... my solutions aren't for everyone, especially with children involved. I really do hope you are able to find some solutions that will work for you; perhaps sign up for some sort of a class, take up a new hobby, volunteer somewhere for just an hour or two a week? Surely there is something you can do to get yourself out of the house and meeting new people? Clearly your needs are not being met now; but only you can define what those needs are, and only you can figure out how to get them met for yourself.

And meanwhile, you can come here and spill your guts anytime. Gut-spilling 'R' us.


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I enjoy them also. It's like, have you
ever recorded your own voice and listened to it before you get up in front of America and take such a big chance? Or asked an older sibling? Or taken a lesson? No? You might want to start smaller than American Idol then.
Don't even have a dog but do I enjoy
seeing them out and about. I have 3 furkids (cats) that are inside and do not visit stores with me but I absolutely love all animals and could care less if you bring your dog, just as long as it does not bite me, we can get along good. Doggie-Oggie
You are welcome and enjoy it!
After you get your IPod, maybe you can ask for ITunes gift cards for different occasions. A 25.00 card will get you around 25 songs, which are only .99 cents each. You just enter the gift card # on the website and it adds the amount to your account. Have fun! :)
Enjoy!
I just loved that movie! Sappy, romantic chick flick and you get to look at John Cusack for 90 minutes.


Enjoy N/T Fan
I still have to get season 3 and 4. How did you like last week's show? At least they're trying to redeem Christian somewhat, but on the other hand, they sure have some way out there storylines.
Enjoy it!... sm
Be careful -- push him away too much and he just might go looking elsewhere. Been there, done that. Don't agree with it and not making excuses for him, just speaking from experience. Some people can take rejection only so long.
Enjoy.
My babies are 30 and 24. I really miss them being small. I can't wait for the grandchildren to come along.
I had my last one at 33 and I enjoy him a
whole lot more than the others - more patience and tolerance I suppose. I'm also much more involved in his school since I know he's the last one.
YW, Hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
xx
But you should enjoy yourself. It is not worth
it always putting up with evil people and not enjoying the holidays the way YOU deserve. I am nearly 50, and wasted 30 years or so before I realized that I do not have to be a part of this insanity. Even if it is just 1 person, its so not worth the time and good memories for you. We cut ties and never regretted it once. And my kids are grown now and have shared with me how grateful they are that we stopped doing the sick holiday visits, etc. We really bonded as our own family and are healthy mentally. Sometimes you do have to think of yourself first, though I know that can be hard. Merry Christmas to you.
We have a small one and really enjoy it.
I don't think the taste is affected at all. 
Seriously, if you enjoy humidity,
you might LOVE NC. If you love the beach, places like Wilmington are wonderful.

At the very least, do come here for a vacation. I really think you'd love it here. Very green, warm and humid. Gardeners enjoy it. It's not quite as long a season as California, but pansies survive most winters, and then winter daphnes start to bloom in February. Houses are more reasonable than many other places, too.
DH and I both enjoy that commercial,
but he interprets it very differently than I do. I see it as a dad thinking his daughter is embarrassed by his house, and he wants to improve it so she isn't embarrassed. But DH just thinks she's simply planting an idea for her mother, and that the dad will think it's all his idea that the kitchen needs to be updated. I'm thinking this means that if we had a daughter, this technique would completely work on him!


Please Please enjoy your vacation. sm
I just went on vacation with my family and had something (nothing compared to your worry) that I just had to put on the back burner and enjoy every second I possibly could. I hope you have faith, because God does not give us anything that we truely can not handle. I will pray that your worries are unfounded. You have been given some wonderful advice above and just believe in that. Happy vacationing.
Don't ever apologize for something you enjoy!

It's a huge part of your life and there's nothing wrong with that!  We have the most wonderful neighbors who are crazy Catholic...I mean they wear rosaries bracelets, have multiple Catholic-esque bumper stickers, and they carry bibles the way most people carry a PDA.  However, they are the most genuine, sweet, and fun people I have met on my little street here.  I love having them over just to shoot the chit, share a bottle of wine, and love hearing them talk about their religion, which is a HUGE part of their lives.  They are happy, friendly, and they love life and that's what counts.  They know I am what I am (atheist) and while I know they say they pray for me, they don't make me feel at all uncomfortable and I think they honestly enjoy my warped view of the world.  Gives them some perspective of what else is walkin' around out there ;-) 


Nice people are nice people, no matter what their (or lack thereof) religious convictions may be.


He is adorable! Enjoy him!
x
Good for you. Enjoy yourself.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm the boss at my other job. I enjoy the
homemade items, ie. cake, a tin of misc cookies or candies. Very sweet and simple.
Enjoy yourself. You have earned it.
xx
Congratulations! Enjoy! And please keep it down there! LOL nm
xx
is it abnormal not to enjoy sex?
sorry this is so personal...
I Have been in a relationship off and on for 6 years. I have never really enjoyed sex. With ANYONE.

And I dont mean because it's not spicy enough... or we dont try new things... not cause he doesn't know what he's doing...

This relationship is a good one. But I question whether he is the "right" one if I just simply dont enjoy sex. Mentally I want to, but physically I just don't respond like I did at the beginning. I know since Ive been with other people I physically respond to them because it is new and exciting. but i still dont really ENJOY it. but It's not like I hate sex or anything.

I'm really asking this to see if I am supposed to be with someone that I'm constantly gonna want to jump their bones. I know that sex is not everything in the relationship... and we have tried to make things better. We have good chemistry in all other ways.

No I was never molested, raped... or anything like that.

I just feel very abnormal and frustrated because I really love him and want to do everything with him... the sex is just like whatever to me. i still love kissing him all the time...

i dont know what else to say, im just really at a loss as to what my problem is. im under 30 years old so i feel like i should be enjoying it immensely.... :(
any thoughts?

Yes, I enjoy Discovery Channel.
I'll watch for that. I can add it to my DVR recordings, too.


We enjoy going to live theatre or out to eat...sm
depending on what we find to do.
I always enjoy your posts, Hayseed...sm

but I just want to say I'm with your mom on this one:  I feel sad for you, too.  But also admire the strength of your convictions in a way as well.  I'm not going to preach either.  Already went through it with my sister.  She asked if I really believed -the whole thing- and I said yes.  She wondered how and I just said it's called faith. 


PS - Did you start Harry Potter yet?????  Open that book already! 


I enjoy the mysteries by Sue Grafton, such as
Her stories are fun & easy to read, and written in the 1st person, which I like. The stories take place mostly in Calif. towns, the names of which are often changed. I enjoy trying to figure out which town she's describing. Anyway, her books start out with letters, such as 'A is for..', 'B is for..', etc.
Thank you both. We do enjoy it a great deal.
There are drawbacks to it, but we feel they are far outweighed by the benefits. We are not quite as footloose and fancy-free as we had envisioned in our youth, but we are about as close as we will probably ever get.
Not all of us ENJOY being cellphone maniacs sm
I have gone to a friend's house for coffee. Yes, I carry a cellphone and yes, I text frequently. I talk some too. Where I live we all have to have Verizon because nothing else works. If you don't have a Verizon cell, no one will talk to you. There are only about 15 land lines in a town of 1400 people. I carry it with me and I have a tone for the text messages so I know the difference. Do I enjoy this? No! It is necessity and I consider a cellphone a necessity, but not a toy.

Back to the story...at this friend's house, her daughter is there and so is another adult. That is 4 of us. During the hour I was there, each of them had more than 2 calls and many texts. They interrupted our conversation for EVERY SINGLE CALL AND TEXT. I found it very disruptive and RUDE.

Your so-called friends were RUDE. If they really wanted to include you, all they needed to do was actually call you and ask you to come to them. Instead, they tried to show up by using a text when you are not a texter. When I add a new friend to my cellphone, I ask if they are text capable because you'd be surprised how many people are not. They don't understand that no everyone is a fanatic about texting or technology.

So how many times did they interrupt conversations for the stupid cellphone?

One way to turn off people from texting you is to use all your Expander shortcuts and all the weird stuff they use on IMs and texts. R U hom? hv u got cof on? cmg ov nw. Gets them every time!
I enjoy Danny and Allison the most.
nm
I don't think she meant any harm. Enjoy your
xx
I don't think she meant any harm. Enjoy your
xx
I don't think she meant any harm. Enjoy your
xx
Hey! You guys got us last year. Let us enjoy

little cheerleader smiley on here is Red Wings colors? 


What's up with that? 


I want a Penquins Cheerleader!


Anyway -- Both teams played a GREAT game.


Guess we WILL meet again next year!  See you then!!


CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is great. Enjoy your family!
:)
Congrats to you!! Enjoy that baby girl :-) nm
x
Anytime - Enjoy the show tonight
That was so nasty. I actually had to change the channel. Too creepy for me and after watching so many seasons, that's saying a lot. LOL.
I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
x
Being able to buy and enjoy a nice bottle of wine.
nm
just go, forget this child play and really, really enjoy ----
yourself without him. He'll change his tune.

If you allow this behavior and kiss pratt for it - you'll have to do that whatever and whenever the whim suits him.

agree with other poster - he he can't put himself aside for a couple of hours for your sake and the sake of the whole family...then it is he the problem.
Thanks for the good news! Enjoy your baby! :-) nm
x
Don't have to be stoned to enjoy life. Read the OP
OP said society frowns upon "escaping reality" and should it not be ok to "feel good." I was answering OP, her words, not mine. I do not have to escape anything. I do not consider illegal drugs "cheap entertainment." I have never done and don't care to do. Yes, I am very unusual. I have a wonderful, happy home, no stress, no husband troubles, no children troubles, no financial stresses, do what I like, enjoy my job and don't have to have "little cheap entertainment."
I personally enjoy the company of my Yorkee and other reasons are....

that when he was a puppy and I knew I'd be gone for a long time I wouldn't want to leave him home for a long time.  I don't take him in restaurants EVER, but do take him to stores in his doggie purse.  If he barked at people, I'd quit bringing him.  I personally just really enjoy being around animals.  I have two labs too, but they are impossible to take the places I take my Yorkee to, which is one of the major reasons I wanted a small "purse dog."  I just love animals and enjoy their company either at home, in the car, or in a store.


Most people do not even know I have him.  I put the screened side towards my body and it looks like a regular purse unless you look very closely.  If he is noticed, they usually are thrilled to see him.  I have had more elderly people share their life stories of their small dogs with me when they see me out and about (usually at the kids' ball games or something else where he is not in a purse) with my pup.  He brings joy to many people, including me!


I'd be offended too if someone's purse dog barked at me, but if they were just sitting quietly in the purse, I wouldn't care, but I would care if it were a restaurant as I don't think that is sanitary.


Hope this shows you another side of purse dogs and why we take them with us.


He's beautiful! Enjoy many happy hours of walks
s
Snow angels!...Sledding, skiboarding! Enjoy! nm
*
here's a ricotta stuffed shells recipe for you to try...enjoy

Stuffed Shells


From Diana Rattray,
Your Guide to Southern Food.
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Recipe Feedback:

A pasta casserole with cheese.


INGREDIENTS:



  • 2 dozen large pasta shells
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 24 ounces part skim ricotta cheese
  • 1/4 cup fine dry bread crumbs, Italian seasoned
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley or 2 teaspoon dried parsley flakes
  • 1 egg, slightly beaten
  • 1 medium onion, halved and sliced
  • 2 cloves garlic, crushed
  • 1 can (15 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
  • 3 cans (8 ounces each) tomato sauce
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried basil leaves
  • 1 1/2 to 2 cups shredded Mozzarella cheese


PREPARATION:


Cook shells in boiling salted water, following package directions. Drain in a colander and rinse with cool water. Set aside. In a medium bowl, combine ricotta cheese, bread crumbs, 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, 1/4 teaspoon salt, parsley, and egg; mix until well blended. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat; add onion and sauté until golden in color.
Add garlic, tomatoes, tomato sauce, oregano, and basil; mix well and bring to a boil. Reserve 1 cup of sauce. Pour remaining sauce into a 9x13x2-inch baking dish. Carefully spoon cheese mixture into shells; arrange shells, opening side up, in tomato sauce in the pan. Pour reserved sauce over shells. Cover tightly with foil and bake at 375° for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with Mozzarella cheese and remaining 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese. Return stuffed shells to oven and bake, uncovered, 10 to 15 minutes longer. Stuffed shells serves 6.   Cat

My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
your husband was a bad boy! Enjoy your well -earned, good days!...nm
nm