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I completely understand. I dont feel stressed but there must be something bothering us I think.

Posted By: PAMT on 2008-06-19
In Reply to: I've got the same problem - mtgurl

I guess we always dont exactly know what stresses us because it could be just a lot of things together that arent really terrible but just little stressors of every day life.


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Understand you completely - sm
My situation is exactly the same. He can ignore me for weeks. I mean completely ignore me to the point that I may as well not even be here unless he has run out of clean underwear and socks.

Then when he gets a wild hair, I'm supposed to jump with glee? No thanks, I would rather spend my time planning for the day I leave his sorry self now.
I understand completely...
and am in no way arguing your point, it's a valid one! I just don't understand the LACK of self-control these days.  Maybe it's the lack of responsibility one must take for those actions..I don't know, guess we could debate this all day, but please, I meant no disrespect to your previous post.  I enjoy reading your advice...very refreshing and inspiring
Understand completely - sm
I too have been burned a few times for trying to help someone but not Stacy.

She's a smart kid, a good mom, and proudly independent. I think she will see it for what it is. The temptation is very strong to try to bring a "family" together for the sake of a child but I am really hoping that she won't give in to that temptation.

Her ex boyfriend and his mother are wastes of perfectly good flesh and oxygen. some people....
Not the OP but I understand completely - sm
And, just for the record. I don't have a cleaning lady but I would love one too. My husband is a complete SLOB.

I vacuum every night, do the dishes, clean the counters, etc. By the time I get up, there are wood chips, snow, mud, whatever, trailed through the house from his boots, there is protein powder all over the kitchen counters and on the kitchen floor, and more dishes in the sink than even my kids can go through in one evening.

Not to mention the pile of dirty laundry he pulls from under his side of the bed immediately after I have finished doing ALL of the laundry. Happens every single time!

I'm not even going to get into the stuff I find in the bathroom sink and on the bathroom floor!

Like I said, I would love to have a cleaning lady too but I would be too embarassed to let someone see what I have to live with.
I completely understand
My 13-year-old daughter just asked me for $25 for a T-shirt for the Science Olympiad. Thankfully her yearbook only cost $20, but she thinks money grows on trees. She does get an allowance for watching her younger sister and helping around the house, but when I tell her I'll deduct the money from her allowance, she looks at me like I'm crazy.

She's in Student Counsel and they go on trips every year, but her school does fundraisers so we end up not paying much at all in the end with his helpful.

She wants to go to college to become a Vet and probably will end up trying to go to Cornell. We've already told her to start saving and get some scholarships because there's no way we can afford it.

I still have a four year old to deal with. I can only imagine when she gets older.
I completely understand...sm
I am scrambling tonight trying to get some lines in because my work has been so slow I only worked 14 hours Monday until Friday. This weekend I got about 63 minutes of dictation so that will add some lines. I have to scramble to work about 20-25 hours per week.
Just want you to know I understand completely where sm
you are coming from and agree totally that it is terribly, terribly sad. I just don't want you to harp on it and let it work on you. You have done nothing wrong. Stand proud. They are entitled to their opinions - strange as they are - they are not entitled to spew them all over the place and say hurtful stupid things to you - just shows how mixed up they are. You sister was right in telling you to let it go - they are strange - weird - you are blessed your husband is so different. Give him a hug and ignore the rest of them. Good luck!
HA! - I completely understand dysfunctional.
My stepdaughter (12 years old at the time) unwrapped her presents last year. Went to go to her mom's afterwards and do you know the next day, I found all of her gifts stashed in the bottom of the closet in the very back. She took all the gift cards and cash with her - didn't give a darn about the rest, clothes, jewelry, makeup, all kinds of stuff. Everything from her aunts/uncles were still in their packages and never given a second thought. Talk about ungrateful!!!
Understand completely (see message)
This time of year is sad, can't cry because husband lost his sis as well from lung ca. during Christmas, so don't want to put salt on his wounds. Forgot about the brain mets - my sis had as well, two Gamma knife surgeries. Resident said, "Hospice or nursing home,you can't lay around here." Anything is minute compared to this disease, cutting off your fingers would be easier! Never smoked but transcribed a university study on it, some buried their butts, froze them, couldn't quit. So I am on a mission, I guess! There has to be a better way, I do have compassion but passion to help others see the reality of what it does to you.
I can completely understand your frustration ..sm

My husband has 2 sisters and 3 brothers, all now over the age of 38 and besides my husband and his oldest brother, none of the others work.  It is just amazing to me.  On top of that, his youngest sister (the baby in the family) and her husband smoke and deal meth.  He was actually involved in a meth explosion 3 years ago, almost died but now he is able to collect social security, over $3000 a month to say the least.  When he was involved in that, DFCS removed the children from the home and my husband and I ended up with their 5-year-old daughter for 1-1/2 years.  Okay, that's off the point and a completely totally different vent for some other time, lol.


Anway, what I am getting at is this.  Just like your ex, none of them work, they all live on land (with us) that has been in the family for over 100 years.  Two of the brothers still live in the main house with their parents, none of them employed, and then the meth addict sister and her husband live in a small dump just in front of the main house.  They all lay around all day and do absolutely nothing.  It just amazes me.  Come Friday and Saturday nights though they are out partying and having a big time.  The one collecting social security disability for being blown up in a meth lab explosion, who supposedly will never be able to hold another job because of this, goes fishing, hunting (and yes he CARRIES a portable stand into the woods, plus his gun), works on the junk cars in the yard, which still don't run of course.  It just really steams me that he is collecting social security disability for doing something illegally and he is DEFINITELY capable of obtaining employment (these deer stands that he carry into the woods are well over 100 pounds, plus a gun).  I have reported him MANY, MANY, MANY times to the social security administration but it is hopeless. 


This does not even begin to skim the surface with these people but my point is that I completely understand your frustration.  My husband has been in law enforcement for almost 25 years (before you ask, yes he has arrested his own brother and sister, one for DUI twice and the little sister 3 times for meth) and I have been doing MT work for over 23 years, working our behinds off to provide for our kids and then we sit back and see these people who never work, who continuously have kids, do not provide for them, they are constantly breaking the law, in and out of jail and yet, while it is definitely not the life of luxury, they never seem to have a care in the world, do not work and even manage to go on vacation 3 or 4 times a year.  Seriously, what is wrong with this picture!! 


I completely understand. I live in East Tx and it can be horrible sm
especially more so if you don't fight for your kids. Not saying kids are always right but you have to protect them from the idiots they tend to hire as principals.
I dont understand why they wont leave pkg at my
x
Dont understand why people generalize
Just seeing your post and stating 53 and from a different generation and thus against guy's ears being pierced- please do not assume- you are so wrong- I just posted above about loving my man's ear piecing and wanting him to get another and I am 65!!!
Dont feel sorry for me!
I never once said I never appreciated the significance of the event.

And I am so glad your 8 year old thinks the way he does.

and your 6 year old too - that is one i hope she doesn't forget!

ha
Has anyone taken Tamiflu ? Is it worth it? I dont feel
x
I dont' say I was single to make people feel sorry for me.
I, rather, feel sorry for you because you obviously don't care about people who are truly in need, single, divorced, widowed or otherwise.
I'm so sorry. I understand how you feel...I also
have suffered the devastation of miscarriage. I have a lot to say but would prefer a more private forum...so if you want please feel free to e-mail me. I would be happy to talk to you about how I got through such a dark time in my life. Maybe it would help....a little.
:(
{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Really cannot understand why you feel like this
because all it means is you just don't make milk as you should. I had 2 children and never ever wanted to breast feed. I never thought I was no less a mother. A much better test of being a mother is how you raise a child more than can you breast feed 1. Just don't get these posts. Mothers all over the world have similar problems. I for 1 was never into reading cans in stores that I am not buying, be it formula or rubbing alcohol. I guess some people have more time on their hands than I do.
I can understand why you feel the way you do--sm
but not ALL women use this tactic as *flirting*. I used to use a *sob story* too, but it was not to seek potential partners, sympathy, yes, but not potential partners. I never thought of what I was doing as *flirting* or trying to make someone else feel that I was a *catch*. I never thought that way until my ex husband told me that is what it sounded like to him. That I was looking for someone else to *take me away from it all.* Trust me, when he brought that to my attention, I stopped doing it then and there. Perhaps this woman does not know that others see her sob stories this way. I surely didn't. You seem to have trust in your husband, but you obviously feel threatened by this woman, for some reason. Why don't you make an attempt to befriend this person. You may find a really good friend and maybe she needs that right now. I would suspect that all of these other men that are chasing her are out for her land, and not her, too. But that is just my jist of it.
This I can understand and I feel with you, but this is different.
I would also be scared to stay or move into a house in which somebody died, especially if one was not on good terms with the person.
Some say that the soul or ghost hides in the attic or basement, eeeewwwww!

Once we moved into a house where the owner had died, the agent showed us exactly the place and during the night there were strange cracking and knocking sounds in the attic, wow, really scary, we thought somebody was hiding there.....later we moved out.

BTW, I prefer apartments to houses, much safer.
I understand how you feel
I love my animals. They are part of my family, probably would look for the doggie until I could no longer. People sometimes dognap, could that possibly have happened you think? Two huskies came to my home and I took off from work that afternoon to find their parents. They were well taken care of, no tags but looked like they had a home somewhere. You do know why your stepmom said that about the doggie, right? My father's older dog woke him 1 morning, wanting to go outside, did and ran away never to be seen again and this was a dog who always stayed close to the home, never going off. You know about cleaning up and getting rid of, there is hope and I would be hanging on for dear life. My dear girlcat died over a year ago. I still have her tags, some medicine she had, just me, reminders of my lovie.
I totally understand how you feel...sm
I too felt that way until I came to know some pits. I realized they acted like any other dog. I won't lie. All pits can be dangerous because of their capabilities. But I know many owners who have never had problems with this breed including my dad and great grandfather. Mine is just a big hunk of love. Hes nothing like you would think when you think of a pitbull. He is so tenderhearted. To me, he is just CJ, my heart. I think you have a right to your feelings but I have a right to mine and I love this dog and in my heart I know he would not hurt me or my family. He has had so many opportunities to kill when attacked by smaller dogs and he never did. Many times he would just walk off and look pitiful.
I understand how you feel. My dad and exhusband
were/are like that. I am in my late 40s and I have been catching myself doing the same thing as they. So for a small amount of money, like 1 dollar, I got this band bracelet from A Complaint Free World website. I realized that I was crabbing all the time and being negative because I was getting like my dad and my ex. So, I tried to improve myself. Everytime I complained or said something negative I had to switch the bracelet to the other hand. I was supposed to say nothing if I could not say something nice. It took a while but I have been 30 days complaint free, and reading this book "Change Your thoughts Change your life. It is about the Tao and today's interpretation. Maybe to set an example for your DH, you can send away for the bracelet (you get 2 in a pack) and challenge him you can both go without complaining. Also you can get the book at the library and read 2 passages a day. In 6 months this has really helped me stop complaining. Maybe your husband grew up with someone negative and as he grows older has the same thing going on in his brain. Now this will bother you and rub off on you and make you unhappy. So, instead of telling him what to do or trying to fix yourself because you think you are going crazy, why not try to work on it together. I guess 2 things I learned: 1, don't blame yourself for anyone's negativity yet don't absorb it either. and 2. Always try to separate the person from their problem. See them without it, and forgive them for the problem. Of course, this is while they fix the problem. If they don't fix it you have to get away from it. I always suggest that if you love your DH that you try the bracelet and book or some form of project together for thinking positive. Good luck to you!
yes, i have to say it did, but my kids were ready too, so i do understand how u feel
nm

I understand your frustration-I also feel sorry for the little girl (sm)
This should be a sign that she is not being taken good care of. However, unless they are being really abused I think kids are always better off with their real parents. It's just so sad. I had them as a child...my mother tried to get rid of them but if your house is a big mess like ours was, it is hard to get rid of them all for good. I wore a coat with a hood on all day every day to school because I was so ashamed. I don't know the answer, I feel for you and for the poor child.
What's reallly bothering you....
Obviously you two aren't clicking...and you're not getting what you want from him is the reason his touch disgust you. I've been married for a long time...even went through that, and yes, I did make myself change my way of thinking because we did have children and unless there is abuse, divorce isn't always the best thing for the children, usually that is said by those who went through with a divorce and need to justify it somehow. I've had friends whose parents divorced...they are grown now and wish their parents were still together and some of their moms and dads actually spend a LOT of time together because they have grown wiser with aging. Friends who are divorced realized the grass is NOT greener on the other side all the time and some of the same problems crop up. I have 2 friends who actually spend a lot of time talking to their ex-spouse, using the kids as an excuse to constantly communicate. One of them is remarried but has found he misses his first wife terribly...whatever he thought he was getting with the new one isnt' there.

No one said when you got married it would be peaches and cream all the time and sometime you just downright can't stand the guy. And he can't stand you sometimes either. Trust me when I say I do know the feeling but tell him what you want. A guy's way of telling you he loves you is with the touchy feely stuff...physical is their way, emotional is ours. It does take time but you will notice as the years go by, chances are he will see what you're saying. Nobody ever said marriage would be great all the time but I realized it's how I react is what makes a difference with my guy. If he does this and that, I'll reconsider. It's a compromise and always will be. When you push him away, he feels hurt...he is hurting too because like it or not, that's the way most guys want to show you they love you and he doesn't know what else to do. Does he tell you he loves you? Does he say the words? That makes a LOT of difference. If not, tell him you feel better when he actually SAYS the words, not just acts out. Keep telling him. They are single minded humans and can't think past the end of their @@@@....well, you know. Please hang in there and see what you can do to change his behavior....you'll be surprised. I had to change how I reacted to him, even though it shouldn't necessarily have been me to do all the work, but he'll come around.


Could really use advice. This is really bothering me.-sm
My mom is getting up in age, she's 75 now. My sister said a couple years ago, and keeps repeating it to me, that Mom's husband told her Mom has a quite large sum of money. And it seems the two of them are determined to get it from her.

I've never asked Mom how much money she has, but voluntarily she has pretty much told me what she has is about 1/10 of what they both think she has. My sister is really irritating me by mentioning it like it's a fact constantly as she just tried to get some money from her and Mom refused.

Mom's husband just recently got her to give him so much more a month because she wouldn't give him all of her bank account #'s to put on the net somewhere so he could get this amount of money from who knows where. Mom got scared and didn't trust him or the site, so she just agreed to give him that amount of money every month to shut him up.

Anyway, my question is, should I just tell Mom already what those 2 are saying? I'm afraid it might hurt her tremendously. It's driving me crazy and I'd like to see it put to an end once and for all, but not at the expense of Mom's feelings.

Perhaps my sister is just trying to annoy me into saying something to Mom so she will tell everybody just how much money she has left instead of asking herself. Personally I think Mom would be better off if I just keep my mouth shut. But I wish I knew how to shut my sister up. Any ideas? Thanks.
You aren't bothering me....sm
The purse is 10-1/2 inches tall without handles and
10-1/2 inches wide. It is
4-1/4 inches deep from the front to back of the purse. With the handles it is 18-1/2 inches tall so the handles themselves are 8 inches.
Dont read this post if you dont want to know names
Brandon was not the worst of the bunch. People are for sure not voting for who they like. I will vote for Stephanie and Blake until they are gone. I couldnt get through on Lakisha and Melinda. They will be the last two IMO. I also like Jordan. I like none of the other guys. Would it be funny if all guys went home first and only girls were left!
Never said they dont communicate.Also dont spell
x
Stressed.....
I don't know how I can live without him, but he's horrible & mean. We have 3 sons, one of them older. I just can't imagine what a separation would do to them. He's an alcoholic jerk that can't seem to find happiness in anything. Advice? or resources?
When I'm stressed out, I like to

get a pedicure.  It's very relaxing and costs about $20 (in my area).  It's worth every penny.  Not only do I have someone waiting on me and rubbing my feet (the stone rubs are the best), but I also have an hour to myself with no hubby, no kids, no pets, no work.  If that's not something you can get away to do, try taking a long walk.  I like walking through town during the day and looking at everyone's houses.  Most people aren't home during the day, so they don't see you looking!


I know life can be stressful, I've definitely had my share in 2007.  I took Effexor for about 4 years up until this December and let me say that I would never recommend taking an antidepressant.  Getting off was a royal B*****!  There are some medications that your doctor can prescribe that are not *addicting*, but make sure you do your research first.  Had I known then what I found out later, no way would I have taken that drug.  It wasn't worth it. 


Now that I have been able to get off Effexor, I know that life is stressful.  That's just the way it is.  It's not me, it's the circumstances we're in.  I hope things go well for you.  Remember, spring is just around the corner.  Take time to stop and smell the roses!!!


I think that if he is stressed out
he won't have any benefits and won't learn a thing. 
I get stressed a lot sm
I have two small children and one will just absolutely not listen sometimes and that really stresses me out. I try to take it easy and not let it worry me too much though.
Anyone here get stressed out with MT work and have IBS. nm
:
I hate being so stressed out
x
Me too. I used to be stressed out because of a mean boss.
My car hasn't had any shop time in almost 3 years. I also can no longer afford contribute to my 401K (as if it mattered anymore). I get the rent paid, but at the expense of eating extremely poorly. (Why is the cheap food always the stuff that's bd for you?) So now my cholesterol is through the roof. I can't afford to take a day off, and if I did, can't afford to go anywhere. A trip to the supermarket is an exercise in how well my antidepressants are working, because nothing is more depressing than not being able to afford most of what's in the store. I pray that my pets stay well, because who can afford vet bills? If my car breaks down someday, I'll be a permanent pedestrian. I HATE being poor, and I've come to detest the MTSO's, AHDI, and the whole MT field.
this man sounds stressed out . . . he needs help quickly. nm
nm
Blessed, Stressed, and Need More Rest
c
Obviously, he is stressed out, but what's he doing to find work?
NM
Anyone else ever seem to get GI problems when stressed out with these jobs. My abdominal area
actually feels sore or irritated. 
No I dont and I dont take any medication for anything. nm
:
they ARE completely different
i can't believe you have a friend that had the nerve to compare her abortion to your miscarriage!!! im so sorry for your loss
I completely believe that. sm
I've never been separated from a marriage, but in 2 long-term (several year) relationships that finally succumbed to breaking up, we got along WAY better once we were 'only' friends. The change was immediate! Best of luck to you both. Sounds like you tried your hardest.

Agree completely......nm
xx
I completely agree! (sm)
As strange as this woman may have been, including the people she chose to surround herself with, there has never been a question about how she felt about her beloved son. Let's hope this woman can finally have some peace in the next few days and spend eternity next to the one person that wasn't involved with her for his own personal gain!
I may be completely wrong,
but when I caught a little bit of the story on the news, it sounded like the "amount of money she had been offered equaled out to 20,000 a day for each day they were married. I would not call her a gold digger when they first married, I mean, I most certainly could fall in love with Sir Paul, but now it sounds like she wants everything. As for Dancing with the Stars, she has shown up but I don't see the public embracing her and voting for her to stay.
Completely agree...
I have the same standards.  Sleeping together is a gift that comes with marriage in my opinion.  It is your house and your rules.  Good for you for sticking to it!
I completely agree...sm
I live in one of the states that is in the middle of terrible turmoil due to illegal immigrants and what gets me is the minute citizens try to get laws that are already on the books enforced we are considered racists. The illegal immigrants form marches and get on TV and tell the world how terrible and racist the politicians are who are just trying to have laws that are already written enforced. It is just crazy. I mean they are here illegally, it has nothing to do with their race, it has to do with the fact that they are breaking the law and need to be treated like any other law breaker in this country. Geez. You have to be a citizen to vote, but all our signs outside the voting places have to be bilingual, does that make sense to you? Most jobs in my area are now only hiring bilingual people, so unless you learn Spanish, it is very hard to find a job, which I find even more irritating. I mean, what would happen to an American citizen if they tried to jump the border to any other country in the world, do you think we would be given any sort of rights other than being thrown in jail, deported, or just plain disappearing off the face of the earth? I don't think so.
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.

I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
I agree completely! Very well said (nm)
a