I completely understand. I live in East Tx and it can be horrible sm
Posted By: Crys on 2007-12-11
In Reply to: I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say - concerned mama MT
especially more so if you don't fight for your kids. Not saying kids are always right but you have to protect them from the idiots they tend to hire as principals.
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I live on the East Coast where this is extremely common
for "older" women to be having babies. As long as you're healthy, I don't see it should be a problem. I was WAY too young when I had my daughter (19) and really wish I would have waited until I was in my 30s. The biggest problem I see here with women in their 40s having babies is that a lot of them are so focused on their careers that they don't spend enough time with their kids. I would think 39 would be okay, but you really are greatly increasing your risk of complications/birth defects if you wait much longer.
I live on the East Coast, definitely not "small town America"
Again, you shouldn't make excuses to spoil your kids and you absolutey shouldn't make assumptions that I live in "small town America" as that's definitely not the case. I was extremely careful driving because I always knew that if I got any kind of traffic violation, I was going to have to pay for it with my insurance rates going up. I grew up with a lot of kids that were spoiled as they "had" to have the most expensive clothes and shoes and, of course, couldn't pay for anything else and then mommy and daddy would foot the bill! Absolutely insane!
Understand you completely - sm
My situation is exactly the same. He can ignore me for weeks. I mean completely ignore me to the point that I may as well not even be here unless he has run out of clean underwear and socks.
Then when he gets a wild hair, I'm supposed to jump with glee? No thanks, I would rather spend my time planning for the day I leave his sorry self now.
I understand completely...
and am in no way arguing your point, it's a valid one! I just don't understand the LACK of self-control these days. Maybe it's the lack of responsibility one must take for those actions..I don't know, guess we could debate this all day, but please, I meant no disrespect to your previous post. I enjoy reading your advice...very refreshing and inspiring 
Understand completely - sm
I too have been burned a few times for trying to help someone but not Stacy.
She's a smart kid, a good mom, and proudly independent. I think she will see it for what it is. The temptation is very strong to try to bring a "family" together for the sake of a child but I am really hoping that she won't give in to that temptation.
Her ex boyfriend and his mother are wastes of perfectly good flesh and oxygen. some people....
Not the OP but I understand completely - sm
And, just for the record. I don't have a cleaning lady but I would love one too. My husband is a complete SLOB.
I vacuum every night, do the dishes, clean the counters, etc. By the time I get up, there are wood chips, snow, mud, whatever, trailed through the house from his boots, there is protein powder all over the kitchen counters and on the kitchen floor, and more dishes in the sink than even my kids can go through in one evening.
Not to mention the pile of dirty laundry he pulls from under his side of the bed immediately after I have finished doing ALL of the laundry. Happens every single time!
I'm not even going to get into the stuff I find in the bathroom sink and on the bathroom floor!
Like I said, I would love to have a cleaning lady too but I would be too embarassed to let someone see what I have to live with.
I completely understand
My 13-year-old daughter just asked me for $25 for a T-shirt for the Science Olympiad. Thankfully her yearbook only cost $20, but she thinks money grows on trees. She does get an allowance for watching her younger sister and helping around the house, but when I tell her I'll deduct the money from her allowance, she looks at me like I'm crazy.
She's in Student Counsel and they go on trips every year, but her school does fundraisers so we end up not paying much at all in the end with his helpful.
She wants to go to college to become a Vet and probably will end up trying to go to Cornell. We've already told her to start saving and get some scholarships because there's no way we can afford it.
I still have a four year old to deal with. I can only imagine when she gets older.
I completely understand...sm
I am scrambling tonight trying to get some lines in because my work has been so slow I only worked 14 hours Monday until Friday. This weekend I got about 63 minutes of dictation so that will add some lines. I have to scramble to work about 20-25 hours per week.
Just want you to know I understand completely where sm
you are coming from and agree totally that it is terribly, terribly sad. I just don't want you to harp on it and let it work on you. You have done nothing wrong. Stand proud. They are entitled to their opinions - strange as they are - they are not entitled to spew them all over the place and say hurtful stupid things to you - just shows how mixed up they are. You sister was right in telling you to let it go - they are strange - weird - you are blessed your husband is so different. Give him a hug and ignore the rest of them. Good luck!
HA! - I completely understand dysfunctional.
My stepdaughter (12 years old at the time) unwrapped her presents last year. Went to go to her mom's afterwards and do you know the next day, I found all of her gifts stashed in the bottom of the closet in the very back. She took all the gift cards and cash with her - didn't give a darn about the rest, clothes, jewelry, makeup, all kinds of stuff. Everything from her aunts/uncles were still in their packages and never given a second thought. Talk about ungrateful!!!
Understand completely (see message)
This time of year is sad, can't cry because husband lost his sis as well from lung ca. during Christmas, so don't want to put salt on his wounds. Forgot about the brain mets - my sis had as well, two Gamma knife surgeries. Resident said, "Hospice or nursing home,you can't lay around here." Anything is minute compared to this disease, cutting off your fingers would be easier! Never smoked but transcribed a university study on it, some buried their butts, froze them, couldn't quit. So I am on a mission, I guess! There has to be a better way, I do have compassion but passion to help others see the reality of what it does to you.
I can completely understand your frustration ..sm
My husband has 2 sisters and 3 brothers, all now over the age of 38 and besides my husband and his oldest brother, none of the others work. It is just amazing to me. On top of that, his youngest sister (the baby in the family) and her husband smoke and deal meth. He was actually involved in a meth explosion 3 years ago, almost died but now he is able to collect social security, over $3000 a month to say the least. When he was involved in that, DFCS removed the children from the home and my husband and I ended up with their 5-year-old daughter for 1-1/2 years. Okay, that's off the point and a completely totally different vent for some other time, lol.
Anway, what I am getting at is this. Just like your ex, none of them work, they all live on land (with us) that has been in the family for over 100 years. Two of the brothers still live in the main house with their parents, none of them employed, and then the meth addict sister and her husband live in a small dump just in front of the main house. They all lay around all day and do absolutely nothing. It just amazes me. Come Friday and Saturday nights though they are out partying and having a big time. The one collecting social security disability for being blown up in a meth lab explosion, who supposedly will never be able to hold another job because of this, goes fishing, hunting (and yes he CARRIES a portable stand into the woods, plus his gun), works on the junk cars in the yard, which still don't run of course. It just really steams me that he is collecting social security disability for doing something illegally and he is DEFINITELY capable of obtaining employment (these deer stands that he carry into the woods are well over 100 pounds, plus a gun). I have reported him MANY, MANY, MANY times to the social security administration but it is hopeless.
This does not even begin to skim the surface with these people but my point is that I completely understand your frustration. My husband has been in law enforcement for almost 25 years (before you ask, yes he has arrested his own brother and sister, one for DUI twice and the little sister 3 times for meth) and I have been doing MT work for over 23 years, working our behinds off to provide for our kids and then we sit back and see these people who never work, who continuously have kids, do not provide for them, they are constantly breaking the law, in and out of jail and yet, while it is definitely not the life of luxury, they never seem to have a care in the world, do not work and even manage to go on vacation 3 or 4 times a year. Seriously, what is wrong with this picture!! 
I completely understand. I dont feel stressed but there must be something bothering us I think.
I guess we always dont exactly know what stresses us because it could be just a lot of things together that arent really terrible but just little stressors of every day life.
Never could understand how anyone could live there. (sm)
How can you possibly "get used to it" when you know sooner or later "the big one" is coming???
East!
x
East Coast 11:30 a.m. and
It's a rainy, gloomy day, and I'm still in my jammies!
I love this job!   
East Central Ky
We felt it here
Why can't the east coast people
talk about Idol as long as they state posting about Idol results and those on the West Coast should not read if they do not want to know the results.
I think only fair as some of us east coasters might want to discuss it as it happens.
Just a thought.
I have seen east coasters post
where they give a warning to other zones that it is a spoiler inside the message, so they just don't open the message if they don't want to know. As far as I know, the admin/moderators left the message and nobody had a problem with it.
East Central Indiana
It probably was from a Band Booster fundraiser. Remember the band contests at the State Fair?
It would actually be more appropriate to say it was in East Central Indiana - Muncie-Anderson area.
acne, in Louisville KY or a little east?
Do you know of a dermatologist (or very good other physician) in the general area who can tackle longstanding acne with something other than continuous antibiotics or Accutane? ie, not the run-of-the-mill dermatologist but a GOOD doctor? It's really affecting my adult daughter's self-esteem. (hard for me to know as i'm out of state) thanks.
east Alabama. I cannot tell you one person who has kept her maiden name sm
here in my town. Not one.
which part? I am over near the east side of Richmond - sm
We have had quite a few thunderstorms, one Friday and one Monday night I think it was (or Tuesday can't remember). I am all for the rain, want my well to stay nice and filled up.
S. Street Seaport is on the East River
Best places to visit on the East coast
In June, my husband and I will be attending the HD Bike Week in Laconia, New Hampshire. If you had to name just two or three places that everyone should see on the East coast {Washington, DC, Maryland, Virginia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, etc. down to North Carolina} what would they be? We will be visiting Maine - that is already on the agenda. We plan to visit Arlington National Cemetary and the Capitol. We have been on the Freedom Walk in Boston.
We have not determined how much time we will be spending on the East coast. Please just name the places you think we should visit if time wasn't a concern.
Thank you very much for your time, assistance, and input. I appreciate this very much!
the wild west of oregon! go east to see family...
every year. my sis brought me to NYC one year and that did it, i was hooked on handbags! originally from the big city and forgot how many good buys there are if you look for them!
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Yes, I did, and it is horrible...sm
My puter has been doing some really strange things since I did. The internet is sooooooooo slow and kicking me in and out, I'm about ready to scream, not to mention my line count for today..... Are you having the same problems?
OMG. How horrible.
My heart would have been pounding a mile a minute. Yes, I would have worried about the reaction, but I probably would have said something for the sake of the children. If they both went off and things got ugly then I would have had the cops come. You were in a public place so that would have helped a bit. He was WRONG TOTALLY. Your mom and sister saw everything and I would have kept at him if he went off. Cell phones with cameras are great to have in these kinds of situations. Again, how awful. Those poor kids. I am sure that was not the first time he hit them either. Especially in a public. YIKES.
That's horrible. Not only
should he be held accountable as an adult, whoever hired him needs to go to jail.
How horrible
Misha, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Good thoughts go out to CJ. Keep us posted.
OMG that looks horrible
Sorry took awhile to reply to this message. I looked at pics of hordeolum and its not that - thank goodness...those look so painful and awful. Another post said chalazion and it looks more like that, though some pics don't look too much better. I will keep "an eye on this". - How's that for humor. HA HA
This is HORRIBLE!
You need to get as far away as possible. You have a computer, so how about emailing your local Domestic Abuse hotline and see what they can do. Perhaps you should bcc to your sister all emails regarding your home situation. Also send her any replies that you receive. YOU DO NOT WANT HIM TO READ ANY EMAILS REGARDING YOUR FEARS AND WANTS!! Maybe your area has an underground process to move you and the kids to a safe place.....hundreds of miles away.
Everyone...don't assume that she is not telling the truth. Stress can cause one to forget dates, exaggerate, or even make up something. I would rather see that she goes into a shelter and not a grave!
this is horrible
He wants to (literally) have his cake & eat it too? He wants to eat the same amount but spend less, & the way he will go about this is to starve you? Outrageous. Borders on, if not spills over into, abusive.
All you are doing by going along with this is proving that his plan works. For heaven's sake, don't enable his creepy behavior by quitting eating! You eat what you need to eat, & the first time he can't have seconds he will know the plan is unworkable.
this is horrible p.s.
If you don't stand up for yourself (and your kids) you will end up with a son who treats his wife the way your husband treats you and a daughter who feels it is okay to be starved by her husband.
I get that you have creditors, but you are a family. You can't have some members paying the price and others not. Either everyone eats a little less or no one does & you find a different way to deal with the situation. Food is not a luxury.
It's not really that horrible!
LMAO! I have 9 cats that I love and adore, but I have threatened on more than one occasion to turn one into Kitty Stew if she doesn't quit peeing on the GD kitchen counters. I go through Clorox Cleanup by the gallon. They have 5 litter boxes inside and 600 square feet of a brand new enclosed porch with dirt floor that she can go in, but still the counters.........
Clearly she knows I don't mean it because she is still doing it and just gives me that "I'm too cute for my own good" look.
Wow--that is horrible.
I am always surprised at how people wait around for others to die. (I understand the the OP did not allude to this.) But she did say that this woman was there for her when NOONE else was. That should count for something.
How horrible! But now I'm wondering..
In first aid classes, I've learned about dealing with people who have heat stroke. Get them cooled off while waiting for help, etc. What should we do with an animal in such a situation? I would definitely have called the police, as you did. And I'm not questioning that you could have done more. I know you did the right thing. But if I should ever happen upon such a situation, is it a good thing to wet the dog down with water? Or would that be too much of a shock to its system? Does anyone know?
Would I be a horrible person if
I got my cats declawed? I'm totally against declawing, but my husband is REALLY mad and says either we get them declawed or they have to go. We just got brand new furniture and they have the arm of the sofa snagged up already, luckily it is the piece that is being replaced cause the delivery people broke a board on it bringing it into the house. I don't know what to do, I would never get rid of my cats for doing something that is in their nature. I already have scratching pads and a post and put the catnip on it. They must just have more fun scratching the furniture. Any ideas, suggestions? 
P.S. We were not registed either--- how horrible is that - nm
x
Oh "Me" that is just horrible! :-(
What an awful thing to be going through. I have absolutely no advice at all here but, man, it's quite all right for you to have yourself a pity party--I would be a complete mess if I were in your shoes. I take things way too HARD and can't just let them slide like other fortunate souls can, so I can certainly relate to how you must be feeling.
You hang in there...this too shall pass.
I know! I had horrible symptoms (sm)
And kept being told it might just be depression - I finally took the *&* antidepressants just to cope with not being diagnosed! It didn't help my illness but it helped me deal with it. Eventually they did an MRI of my brain and found pinpoint lesions all over it but never could tell me what they were from. I took antidepressants and sleep med and used lots of alternative remedies and juiced and ate as healthy and pure as possible for a year and finally got fairly well but still have a few leftover symptoms (ear fluttering, occasional muscle twitches) that will probably never go away. One doctor even suggested that I go to a massage therapist because some people would get depressed over not having enough "touch" in their lives - I had two children who hugged me all day and my husband and I were very "active."
What a horrible position to be in..sm
There are some really good groups on MSN where you can go and talk to people in similar positions. There are boards specifically for people with family members with drug addictions. I would also suggest that you get some counseling for yourself to help you with the guilt that you feel.
it sounds horrible, but
in truth, it wasn't something to be totally humiliated by. I did something wrong, I knew the policy, I expected the outcome. I knew my mom was tougher than most. Actually, the guy didn't hit as hard as SHE did, so I gladly suffered his paddling. When she complained she was getting in trouble on her job for having to come watch me get paddled, I told her to stay at work next time. Boy, that steamed her! LOL!
She became a teacher and got a paddle with pinholes drilled into it and kept it at home over the summers. I joined the swim team and stayed at the pool every day in the summer after that!
When my kids were in elementary school, we were asked to sign a form to allow paddling, and they also included that there would always be a witness so no one could accuse them of abuse. They left the option of the parent(s) being the witness to each family or choosing a teacher instead.
I'd rather hold the paddler responsible by my witnessing it not know exactly what type of punishment was being given. Some people hit harder than others, some kids are more sensitive. Neither of my kids got paddled, but I knew the procedure and assigned myself as the witness.
Still seems horrible, especially when you describe
a paddle with holes?! What's the point of that other to completely scare a child? With a piece of wood? I don't understand. I'm so sorry you went through that. It seems totally unfair and, well, abusive. I hope you didn't suffer permanent damage, even damage you don't know about. Are you scared of authority figures, or of men? Or of someone coming at you with something in their hands?
I'm not being funny, I'm completely serious.
I think that is horrible advice. She should let herself
feel degraded (maybe) because she could run the risk of losing him to another woman? Wow.
Thank you everyone. At least I am not alone but gosh it looks horrible! sm
I LOVE the you tube videos. Thank you so much for posting that. I wondered if there were excercises for that area and I can do those and type too at the same time! Really funny was the poopedoutitis! Loved it!
Horrible Teeth
What are your opinions? If you had terrible teeth, that kind that decay from the inside out, you've had 14 root canals, several of which broke off after they were crowned (to the tune of about $1200 per tooth), you have three more teeth that need to be extracted, 2 more that need root canals and extensive bridge work must then be completed, your mouth hurts all the time, there is an abscess forming over one of the old root canals that broke, you have a heart valve condition which means you must always premedicate before dental work and an infection could cause pericarditis .... would you have the above work done or just say, to hell with it, I'm getting dentures. BTW, I'm 51 and this all started when I was 5.
No. no. no. sorry, just horrible things.....m....
I like only 3 a bit
# 2 is a nightmare, really scary!
And I would let people 'step' on my oriental carpets, but not 'sit' on them.
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