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I don't wear my wedding band or my engagement ring. I took them off six years ago because...SM

Posted By: Tinks on 2007-01-18
In Reply to: Wedding Ring ? - Janey

My DH and I were having marital difficulties and he never and I mean NEVER wore his wedding from day one of marriage.  He works on cars and stuff and claimed it got in his way, WHATEVER!  Back then he was going out his buddies every once and while and still didn't put his ring on.


So we had a huge fight and I took my rings off and said until you put yours on, I'm not wearing mine.  Well, we got marriage counseling and saved our marriage and now everything is fab, but he still doesn't wear his ring because in all the years he didn't wear it, he lost it!  I wanted to buy him a new one, but cheapo that he is, he doesn't want us to spend the money.  So I haven't put mine rings back on and I won't.  It drives him nuts.  He makes comments every now and then about men flirting with me cause I'm not wearing my rings.  I just shrug and say "it's just a ring, you know I love only you," which is the line he used to give me.


I'm going to break him down one of these days and we'll go ring shopping!  We have a great marriage now, but there's just this one little battle.  He knows I'll win eventually.  We're both just really stubborn.


Long story short, men act like things like wearing our wedding rings and engagement rings aren't a big deal to them, but really it is.




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I wear only my wedding band and engagement ring...sm
No other jewelry is on my fingers or wrists when I type.
No, But I Only Wear an Engagement Ring....

It's not the biggest diamond in the world so it doesn't bother me.  The whole "bare wrists" is another story, however.


My husband doesn't wear his wedding ring
or any jewelry for that matter. He's allergic to gold and can't even wear a watch. I suppose he could wear silver, but to me it's no big deal. He will wear it on special occasions but his hands swell up. I also know some men who don't wear it when they're at work if they run machinery, ect where it could get caught and get their fingers ripped off.
I have my wedding/engagement rings and now - sm
my mom's. My dad gave them to me after my mom died. However I cannot wear any of them since I have gained 70 pounds since I first married. My rings still fit after 30 pounds but now I just cannot do it. I bought 2 fake bands in larger sizes, but they are too tight now too. I am working now though to lose the weight and with any luck wear my rings again in about 5 months. As far as I know it does not bother him that I do not wear my rings, though once I get thin again we will see if that attitude changes, I have a feeling it may. As for my DH, he has worn his ring about 3 times, a waste of $750 (luckily that was a wholesale price and not retail--I have connections). He works with electron microscopes though, and it is dangerous for him to wear his ring, though he could if he really wanted to and was careful, but then he'd probably end up losing it. A co-worker had his on and an electron beam arched and literally welded his ring and finger to the gun in the microscope. Poor guy had quite a burn on his finger and quit wearing his ring after that. So most of the engineers there do not wear their rings. I do not have a problem with it though. He tells people he is married with kids if the subject ever comes up.
Wedding Ring ?

Do you have more than one? I have a wedding and engagment ring that DH gave me that I used to wear all the time, along with a diamond band my mom gave me years ago. Last summer my mom gave me her engagment ring that she really never wears anymore. Since then, I haven't been wearing the engagment ring DH gave me, I wear the plain gold band I got married in, along with my mom's two rings that she gave me.


DH says he doesn't mind as long as I wear the wedding band that we got married in. I guess it's a superstition thing with him. He understands that I miss my parents (especially my mom), since they live in Florida and we are in New York.


How do your SO's feel about stuff like this? Do they even have an opinion about what rings you wear or don't wear?


Problem wearing wedding band..sm

I was recently dx with RA, and have been having some issues wearing my wedding band.  Two main problems - my fingers get puffy and wearing the band makes my hand itch (even though they are solid gold).  I was thinking about getting a tattoo'd ring on my ring finger, but I was wondering if you all could come up with some ideas that are creative but perhaps not as painful...I don't mind the permanancy, as I am married with the intention of staying that way for life. 


Thanks in advance, y'all. 


HC


I had a somewhat similar experience with my wedding band...sm
Quite suddenly my finger would itch underneath my ring.  It would become red and almost blister like.  I would have to take my ring off for a few days for it to go away.  I took the ring, which is not a plain band - has two rows of diamonds so the underside is not smooth, to the jeweler and had it cleaned.  It hasn't happened again since.  It wasn't dirty to the naked eye, but there was apparently something in there.  Perhaps your diagnosis and your reaction is a coincidence.  It's worth a try. 
A wedding ring doesn't matter. Either
the guy is true to his wife and family or not, wearing a ring does not make a difference.
La Venta Inn wedding - what to wear???

I've been invited to a wedding in CA at the LA Venta Inn the weekend of Thanksgiving.  I would like some input on what to wear.  Looks like a pretty nice place and I know they are trying for a sunset wedding ceremony - like around 4:30 with the reception at the Inn afterwards.  I know it gets cool in the evenings, but if anyone has any suggestions on what to wear - I would appreciate it.  Sounds like a formal or semi-formal affair.  Thanks.


winter wedding what to wear?
What does a guest wear to a winter wedding?
had dinner with the band a few years ago
A friend of mine works for them and asked if I wanted to go before the concert. Loved it!!! Great band
You know what? I had a very big wedding 10 years ago. about 250 invites were sm
sent out. I live in the South. Gifts at the wedding tacky? Where in the world do you live? And if everyone bought you a gift you would have been upset? Again, where do you live, besides off in a world all by yourself. I really didn't find your post that amusing, to be honest. I enjoyed and loved EVERY single gift knowing that the people who bought it for me took the time and thought into purchasing something for me and my new husband. To be honest, we didn't get much money at all except from close family members and even THAT wasn't expected from us and very, very much appreciated.

Too many brides think like you do nowadays which is what keeps so many people from attending weddings. It's a very selfish way of thinking. I'm sorry, but now I'M ON A ROLL!
I used to wear gas perms years ago (sm)
and if I am remembering correctly, it seems like I was told to periodically scrub the lenses with some baking soda to remove all the deposits (I have a lot of allergies, too, and they'd get covered in the gunk). Seemed to make them fit and feel better.
You need to send a wedding gift if you attend the wedding - sm
If possible you should drop it by the brides or grooms house, etc. so you don't have to take it to the wedding, and so they don't have to worry about transporting the gifts from the church or the reception. You should always send a wedding gift if you attend the wedding though.
This wedding, the wedding party will be releasing butterflies!
Apparently, you can buy live butterflies, individually packaged, that can be released after the ceremony.  The bride and groom are 65 and 68 years old, for crying out loud and this is their second marriage.  This wedding is the craziest thing I've ever seen!
Engagement gift...I need YOUR ingenuity...

I want to do something for my fiance that would be in addition to the traditional ring.  Her idea of a great gift is something created by me.  Not necessarily from wood; I would actually prefer something a little more exotic, interesting, original.  My only idea thus far is a small waterfall for the living room.  Was hoping to get some other ideas from you!  Thanks in advance for your help!


Den


Rules of Engagement, Big Bang Theory, House ...
The New Adventures of Old Christine, CSI Miami, Bones, Design Star, Biggest Loser.
Any out there with Lap-Band or
gastric bypass done?  Would love to hear your experiences and comments.  Thinking about it for me.
I am considering a lap band

Minimally invasive, easily reversible. Ironically, the surgeon at our local hospital who probably does 15-20 gastric bypass procedures a week has a lap band himself - not bypass surgery. What does that tell you?


I worked at that hospital for five years and transcribed many, MANY diagnostic imaging reports on patients who had problems with gastric bypass surgery, some of them several years after they had it done. It is tempting, but I am not ready to spend the rest of my life eating one or two ounces at a time and worrying about malnutrition because of impaired vitamin absorption.


I am having my yearly physical next month and I will talk to my doc them about a lap band. Personally, I would not consider anything else. Too dangerous.


What the women wear or don't wear is not the
issue here. They can wear what they want. The issue is what is actually going on in the compound and the laws that are being broken.
Never take them off - band and diamonds. nm
x
how about liquid band-aid?
x
Municipal band
The next town over from where I live has free municipal band concerts every Thursday night in the summer.  They do classical, popular and movie/show music.  They've been doing this for 77 years.  There is a bandshell in the park downtown, parking is free and you can bring a picnic supper.  The town festivals always have free musical entertainment.  Sometimes the downtown merchants sponsor an evening of free music.
Try going up or down in band size.

For example, try a 34 DD or a 38 C.  When you go up or down in band size, it changes the size of the cups.  I ended up having to do that and you'd be surprised how different the cup sizes are when you adjust the band size. 


 


FYI - Rock Band
We were going to trade in 1 guitar for the rock band set and were told the Rock Band still has a lot of kinks to work out and the sales person advised us to wait until after this Christmas as it will probably be the big thing for Christmas and the problems will be worked out.

I would love to get the 80's one too! I didn't know they had that! My husband was a DJ in highschool and I bet he would love that. Ok, that's now on his xmas list. lol Thanks!
Another band geek here
Also a flute player; principal flute in concert band my senior year, only flute in jazz band. Too much of a goody two shoes for drugs or alcohol or stretching exercises, even... did take part in a Vietnam war protest or two, and walked several miles to school on the first Earth Day, which accomplished exactly nothing because the diesel exhaust-belching school buses ran anyway, regardless of whether I rode them or not.

And I may join up with some friends for the "Teed Off Party" on the 4th of July....
I do not even have to have a ring but
when my hubby and I married in Las Vegas in 2000 (I had been married before, he hadn't), I had to let him know the minister would ask for a ring and therefore on the way to get married he and I stop in a shop and got a simple gold band for me (I didn't want him to feel embarrased at not having anything when asked) and you know what, I would not take anything for the marriage I have. We have been married 7 years now and I adore him. If you love him enough to marry him, you could care less really about a ring to impress. That is what your post sounds like to me. So many important things about a marriage and a ring is not high up there.
Don't you think he sounds like the other boy band guys? sm
To me he sounds like the guys already on the radio so there's nothing that has come from his mouth that I'd want to buy.

Plus he dresses funny - wouldn't want a CD cover with a goofy outfit on it staring at me ! My husband thinks he's gay because sometimes he wears gay type clothes... especially that whatever it was last night.
nope, not going to swallow Band-Aid for my...NM
       
White. Big Band or Disco
x
Yes he is - and he deserves a ring!
I am a New Englander and now very well liked right now as I was rooting for Peyton (hate greedy people - LOL)!

anyway - what a great game - glad I'm still alive after cheering for Peyton!
what do you think about choosing your own ring
My boyfriend who wants to eventually get married hates the fact that I want to choose my own ring. I also don't want a proposal like finding it in my baked potato or something. I'd like to be able to say this is the ring I want, buy it and when ready give it to me at a dinner with our parents or something like that. he is having a fit. and trying to make me feel like I'm nuts. Anything wrong with being able to choose your ring?
ring advice
My hubbie to be took me to a nice jeweler locally to have me sized (my finger that is) and I took the opportunity to talk to him about the rings that were displayed and why I like or disliked them. I like very simple (but elegant) jewelry. My hubbie listened and when my ring was presented to me I was shocked and elated as well as surprised. He had taken the info I had given him and had designed a ring for me that was practical yet gorgeous and I LOVED it.

So given him a litte guidance and let him do it his way you may be pleasantly surprised.

Note: I became pregnant with my first child and took my beautiful ring off and put it in my wallet and it somehow got lost. I still to this day weep whenever I think of my ring and he is working on replacing my ring and as much as I look forward to having a ring on my finger again however no ring will ever replace that ring in my heart or on my hand.

Give your hubbie a chance if you cann't trust him with picking out a ring can you trust him with your heart?????
Maybe get the ring stretched and
then coat the inside with clear nail polish.


Definitely Ring My Bell.....
it just goes on and on and on
A good friend of mine had a lap band
However there are a lot of hoops to jump through testing wise before you can have those procedures done including a psychiatrist.  Also if you do not follow the directions you can become sick, which means you cannot over eat and must exercise.  She is doing fine with it, but did it mainly because her back bothered her so much.  Come to find out her back is still an issue and she needs surgery to correct that.  So, if it is a last resort, I'd say it is worth a try, but I would not do it with all of the complications and risk of infections unless it is a serious must.
Marching on the field at band camp ...sm
it was my freshman year of high school. One of the adult volunteers heard it on the radio, ran to the band director crying and insisted that he stop the practice because of the news.
spent NYE playing Rock Band for PS2
a lot of fun though discovered I'm never going to be a drummer (or a singer) :) So I guess I won't quit my day job.
Strike up the band, blow up the balloons!
Ready to celebrate. I wrote here some time ago about a problem with a CPA cousin. My father died and he put in writing and also told the people where he worked any money coming from there should come to me. When I got the money it had to be made out to estate of .......My cousin who supposedly was taking care of my father's last bill, etc. told me I could not cash the checks (duh) and to send to him for putting in estate money. I asked him to pay off father's last owed bill out of the money (he never did this 3 years ago now) and did not probate my father's will (said not enough there left after most all spent). I wrote a letter to cousin finally last year and said I wanted this back, next of kin, basically belonged to me. Ignored, another letter, ignored and finally asked on here who to contact for the head of CPAs and a person told me. Thanks to you, contacted the officials and after giving my cousin a deadline  and telling him I had contacted the people over him, he finally sent me a check on the very last day of the deadline I gave him!! Now I wonder with him doing family like this, who else has he jipped?
Does this story ring true for you?

Talked to the mom of one of my daughter's friends on the way home from work yesterday. She told me her husband is going to federal prison for 8 years because he recieved some child porn via e-mail (didn't say who/where from) and reported the e-mails to his ISP. She says the ISP reported it to the FBI, and the FBI never tried to trace the e-mails back to the originator but arrested and prosecuted her husband for them being in his possession.


I've decided not to let my daughter go to their house again. The little girl is welcome at my house, but even if the story above is mostly true, what prompted him to be getting those type of e-mails and why is he even opening them? Would like to know if other moms agree or I am going overboard? 


The ring is symbolic of a union.
If you can't even agree on who should pick out the ring, you may want to rethink your union with this gent.  There are going to be so many issues that will arise in your marriage that will need you to come together and make a decision.  It starts now though.  Some food for thought.  I would rethink the whole reason for wanting to "get the ring".  I would not focus too much on who picks it out.  You may want to see a marriage counselor beforehand to see if you two are the "right fit".  It doesn't sound too good starting out a union in this manner.  JMO.  Good luck.
Some questions for you--it may ring a bell
Do you get headaches when this happens? How long do these sweats last for and how often do you get them? What's your BP normally?

I have a reason for asking, I promise.
Another possibility is ring worm. (nm)
.
I love an alternative rock band called
Minus the Bear and so does my 15 yo son.
And didn't propose but gave a ring...nm
nm
I picked out my ring and absolutely regret it!
I really wish I would have had him do it all and we would have just slowed down. I love my husband to pieces, but it would have been nice to have a proposal and a surprise to see my ring for the first time. We kind of just agreed to get married and then went ring shopping together, but now I wish there had been more romance involved. Just let the boy pick it out - If he knows you well enough like he should if you plan on marrying him, then he'll surely pick out something you like.
Ginger Quince here..kinda has a ring to it!

//


It shouldn't be about wearing a ring, but more...see message
the way he acted toward you. My husband doesn't wear his wedding ring, just cos he doesn't feel like it, and I don't wear mine either. No big deal, but sounds like this guy was flirting with you and that's what I think was wrong.
A mother ring with my 3 children's birth stones:-)..nm
 - My husband is good to me!
I agree with that along with loud obnoxious ring tones.


Does "thou shalt not kill" ring any bells?
God created marriage for sex to be a blessing that would bring people together and create families, not sex outside of marriage so that babies could be optional.