I feel so badly for you - sm
Posted By: misty on 2008-02-24
In Reply to: hubby probs - angelmt
It is not supposed to be that way! Your hubby sounds pretty selfish. If I told my husband I needed him to stand on his head and turn cartwheels for me to orgasm he would at least attempt it, especially after a year of marriage. Is everything fantastic with him other than the sex issue??
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Not only is he treating you badly,
what kind of a man tells his wife and children to leave the home? My parents divorced when I was 11 and as I got older I realized it really was for the best. You need to show your children that it is not okay to disrespect anyone. You should go ahead and at least consult a lawyer and see what your options are.
But it may end badly for the dogs
They may not be taken care of when he's off doing other things. I would tell him though that he needs to buy or pay for the dog food and put a time limit on how long you'll take care of them. You're a good person to make sure they're taken care of.
I'd say she has been hurt badly and deeply
besides having a questionable upbringing. It has been shown you can even be raised weird and still have great qualities - something happened to push those natural feelings towards other human beings way down inside her. If it were me - I would just kind of detach myself from her as she will most likely not change and you will grow to become bitter and you cannot change her. You are not going to get what you need as a friend from her. Sorry also about your son. Hugs!!
Help for badly damaged hair
Got a perm a couple months ago (bad mistake -especially once DH said - is that the way you wanted it?) Anyway...since then have gotten it trimmed a couple times to get rid of the dead. But it is like a rats nest, looks dry and very frizzy. I have tried...curling creams, leave in conditioners, mousse, putty, creams, and a wide range of hair products. The other night I tried mayo & egg. My hair still feels dried out. Actually just feeling it now, the part that has grown out is not dry, but the part where the perm is is dry.
Anyone have any suggestions. How I miss my beautiful locks of my youth (I'm 51). I used to have beautiful curls and the hairdressers always commented they never seen such beautiful natural curls before. Now it's just old, frizzy, no curls and no body, and a thinning spot toward the top of my forehead. Talk about feeling old. I did just color it because sometimes coloring brings back shine and makes it manageable, but didn't do anything but get rid of the gray. I'm ready to just go Sinead. Any suggestions much appreicated.
Not everyone reacts badly to chemo - sm
My daughter was not throwing up every half hour. In the 18 treatments/doses she received in her five month regimen she puked 3 times I think. She was nauseous, yes, but Zofran took care of that. She lost about five pounds in all but most/all of that was tumor. She did not lose her hair until the 4th month, but as I said then if that is the worst thing to happen we will live with it. Hair does grow back. Her hair grew back red again, not as firey red, but still a beautiful color, thicker now too, and grows so much faster now too, already below her waist now in the 3.5 years it has been growing back. Her hair was very, very slow growing prior to her chemo (about mid-back maybe short when she got sick at 5, with absolutely no haircuts except for bangs). Physically now she is in fantastic shape. She never developed footdrop or any side effects other than nausea and exhaustion, she had little stamina for 6 months to a year after chemo ended. Now however she is great, looks great, is in great shape and is a very active 9-y/o. She has been thru a lot and is very mature for her age, more so than my soon to be 11-y/o. She has a lot on her mind and still worries sometimes she will get cancer again. I feel bad that she thinks that way but it is something she will have to live with for the rest of her life, but at least she will have a life. Without the chemo she would not have had one and she knows that, she is a smart cookie. She also knows I am her mom and I love her to pieces and will always make sure she is kept safe and hopefully healthy. If she never needs it I will give her one of my kidneys presuming I can. ---but chemo is proven to work more than it fails, nothing is 100%, but at 13 the boy is too young to understand the ramifications. He will die, period, no doubt in my mind, if he does not do chemo. Yes, he may still die with it but his chances are much less and if they go with a "natural" treatment his chances are definitely a lot less. Very short-sighted of both of them I think. Before anyone attacks me, I like you am entitled to my opinion but before you attack make sure you have walked in my shoes. A child sick with cancer is a very scary thing.
Does he treat you badly in front of your children or is it
usually "behind closed doors?"
Well I had a friend at work who wanted a baby badly
had hydrocephalus. She prayed and prayed. She finally decided through a lot of counseling that it would be better to abort this baby. So in what stage of abortion are we talking made to look at the ultrasound. Is this a whole different thing? Should she have been made to have that baby even knowing the baby would not survive? I think there are abortions for different reasons. JMO.
City of Angels. I couldn't leave the theatre I was bawling so badly. nm
x
How would you feel
Let me ask you, how would you feel if you were in an mva and when you arrived at the trauma center they said, sorry - we can't help you, we are closed for Thanksgiving or Christmas as the case may be. We make a choice when we get into healthcare - it's 365 days a year 24/7. Doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, military.. all professions that require working major holidays. Usually it's a skeletan crew that works and is on call for Stats. My feeling is, if a gaurantee job of no holidays is what one wants, then one should go into a field that doesn't require the coverage like banking or a private physicians office. Hospital medical transcription has never been Monday through Friday and never will. Think about it from the patient's point of view, after all - that is the main goal - THEIR care.
Been there - know how you feel sm
Honestly, I lost two angels before my firstborn. One at 16 weeks and the other at 12 weeks. It was excruciating and heart breaking. Now, I know I have two angels on each shoulder 24 hours a day watching over me and my family. It is comforting after a while to know that you have these angels.
God bless you and your family!
You should not feel bad at all, I don't
wrong with your response at all. My home is with my family also, but I do think of the small town in which I spent the first 20 years of my life and the wonderful times I had there, especially at the holiday time of year.
Thank you, too. I feel the same. As for
your European anology of family, you are SO right. I so admire that type of family dynamic, and don't understand fully what happened here in America. My parents were/are typical examples. They were 50's and 60's Beaver-Cleaver parents - my dad worked, my mom was a stay at home mom, though it turned out she hated it. They had the obligatory 3 kids, me being the last, and by a long shot. At any rate, they just did not foster a close family unit - we looked great on paper, but that was it. As soon as I was in my teens, my parents couldn't wait to sell the family home and take off for a retirement community, though they also weren't all that social, either. They barely paid attention to their grandkids - just the obligatory gifts and family dinners, where all was so strained and forced. They thought about themselves, really. Parents who put their happiness and interests first, while going thru the motions, though, of being that all-American upper middle class family. So, they sold everything that to me was cherished and headed south to a senior community, full of lonely seniors who chose that lifestyle. Know what I mean? They couldn't wait to get away from their grown kids and do their own thing, yet when the chips were down and their health was failing, they were stranded more or less, turning to visiting nurses and the like for care. It is odd about our society how things are turning like this and the close extended family just is a legend - like Big Foot. I have done lots of social political reading, and there are actually explanations - you are probably familiar, but it was some in governments plan, and they sure succeeded. Now all is backfiring, though. I know then I have stopped this family distancing with my own kids, thank God. My husband and I are very close with our kids, and vice versa. Many of our peers are the same, though most do not have relationships with their parents either. Maybe there is hope, eh? Nice meeting you! And though we differ, we are the same. 
I feel for you
My MIL died of cancer on Christmas Eve back in the 80s. My ex-MIL, whom I loved dearly, told me, "How wonderful. She died on the eve of the Christ child's birth. You can't ask for a more blessed event as she is definitely in the arms of the Lord."
This always stuck in my mind and made me feel a lot better. I'm not an overly religious person, but when I think of that, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.
I hope everything gets better for you. Just remember that they will be going to a better place without pain, sorrow, or heartache.
I know how you feel....
I just got word that my dad had a brain aneurysm and had a stroke. Nothing but worry. Right now he seems to be doing better, which I am very thankful for. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best.
I feel for ya, but it will get better! sm
I am at about 10 weeks now. For 2 weeks straight, I was taking a nap at 9:00 in the morning! Then I could hold off until about 1, now I can go a couple of days without taking a nap. Take it as a wonderful sign!
I had a miscarriage last pregnancy, wasn't tired and wasn't nauseous at all. This time I am so very tired and so very sick and I took both as a sign that all was going well this time and it is. Hope all goes well for you this time. Take care of yourself and take it easy!
I feel the same..
The show is fixed. I watched last seasons show, and the rivalry was there in the last episode. I will not watch it again. Sam was definitely better - and Uh? how many times has Marcel won? BTW, he could not even pronounce the Hawaiian foods properly.
I feel bad for her
She lead a rough life and I feel bad for her and her daughter, who will never know her mother or her big brother. She will forever be known as a "who's your daddy" baby because of ghouls who can't mind their own business. I hope Anna is finally at peace.
yep - sure feel the same way!!!
I, too, remember all the lyrics (or most of them).......GREAT GREAT MEMORIES!!! :) 
That is how many already feel about
abortion being legal...it got on the books and has been a black mark ever since. Scarring. What victory are you hailing? The US is considered evil by many nations because of legalized abortion being practiced here. So the affect is greater than realized. Again, whose victory?
I feel for you
My heart goes out to you. I had an anorexic daugter for fives years which started at 10. She is 18 and is cured for the time being. Anyway you are doing the right thing calling the pediatrician and seeking help. Maybe a professional can talk to your husband. Once you get this help have patience it takes a long time for any results. My advice also would not to find any treatment they offer your stepdaughter. My daughter was hospitalized 3 time, and almost died. You have only a few years to work on this. Once their 18 they are their own when it comes to seeking help. Email me any time. I will be praying for your family. . I am so glad you see the problem.
I feel the same
way. I am getting tired of seeing Lucky so happy about his baby and it's not even his. It is starting to make me sick! I love Jason. He needs to take a stand. Also, I'm really ready for everyone to know who Jerry is and get it over with!
I feel the same way-
II was looking at renting an aapartment where everything is earth friendly and energy efficient and it sounds great but they have all these rules, such as you HAVE to recycle. I do recycle but I'll be damned if I'm going to have someone telling me I have to, especially if I am paying to live there. The little kid in me says "I was gonna do it until you told me to!"
I feel for you - sm
I'm sorry a few people jumped on your case. They shouldn't presume to know your entire situation. In my opinion, you asked a specific question and didn't deserve to have people criticize you like that. I had some issues too a couple years ago - mostly medical bills. I finally got them paid off a few months ago and very slowly my credit score is coming back up. Unfortunately, you just have to be patient, but as long as you make your payments on time now, your score should slowly come back up. Hope things work out. Good luck!
we should all feel the way you do; I know I do
If he is big in stature, as well as being a bully, he may respond better to a father in the neighborhood who may get invovled with him, when he is home alone. I am a single parent and am becoming more intolerable daily with people who do not take care of their kids and try to do the right thing.
oh how I feel for you - and I only have ....sm
I only now have night sweats - and I hate it, every night I tear off what I am wearing during sleep....and that's with the a/c on.....*laughs*.....neck, upper chest area is the worst.......drenching sometimes (tho not all the time)....
thanks for the heads-up on the new HRT method(s)....
Do exactly what you said you feel like doing--sm
and then get yourself out of it (marriage). If it has been less than 2 years and he is doing this already, then he will not stop. Do not subject yourself to a lifetime of misery. You stated all the reasons for not having to stay. You will find your happiness elsewhere. Just consider this a poor choice in your early life and move on. Nothing but a speed bump. There are better men out there...somewhere. Good luck to you!!!
You can feel better.
Have you tried talking to a professional and unburdening yourself?
My parents were also distant when I was little, and I confess that now that they want to be all nice and lovey, I think it feels odd and unnatural. I appreciate their fine qualities as people, but I feel like when I was weak and needed help, they left me feeling alone. Now that I have a husband, he is the emotional support that they never were. I don't hate them or anything, but I am baffled that they want more closeness now.
No, I feel exactly the same
I read somewhere people ask if she eats, with such a small body and yes, I too noticed that huge head- you just cannot get past that head to listen to her. I turn the television each time she comes on, irritating really.
I really think you would feel much better...
if you confronted her about it. Get it off your chest, so to speak. I know it can be so hard to be what is perceived as mean-spirited or confrontational (most of us hate confrontation), but I promise you that you will get a lot out of it if you go to her and tell her that it's so unfortunate that she didn't value your friendship and used you that way. Make sure to rise above it emotionally by letting her know that she threw away the best possible friend she could have ever had. She's the loser in this, not you.
I feel bad for you
that you have to insult people. you are not being forced to read this board. Like the OP said we do put names on our post. If you have nothing better to do than to look for posts like these and put people down,it does not say much for you as a person. Try to have a nice day :)
I know how you feel!
Today has been a nice break, since it's 88 and somewhere around 40% humidity. It's hoooomidity that gets to ya! I've had more folks tell me that I don't know what heat is like, because I'm from the north. But Philadelphia sits right next to a big bay and the ocean isn't that far away. We usually have humidity pumping over us all summer long. It just zaps the energy right out of you, doesn't it?
I have a friend who married a guy from central Texas. For the first 12 years of their marriage they lived down there, and when I'd visit and it was 100 degrees there, everyone would ask how I was making out in their heat. "Fine!" I'd say. It wasn't a springtime romp, but without the big wet humidity blanket, it was tolerable. They didn't believe me, and my friend told me to leave it alone, "They just don't believe that Philly gets hot." Well, they moved up her two years ago, and all summer long, her husband tells me, "You people were so right! This is awful!" He's always dripping in sweat!
Ahhh well! The comparisons can go on and on, I guess, until someone chimes in from an equatorial rain forest to put us all to shame!
As for me, I live in a 100-year old house with thick walls and lots of cross ventilation. We don't have a/c except for a room unit that we use for sleeping. The last week, though, has been a challenge. Eventually it'll break, and we'll be complaining about snow and ice here! LOL
I feel ya...
Milk here (GA) is almost $5 a gallon...well actually over $5 with tax! Completely ridiculous. Put your situation in the Lord's hands, you'll feel better! Prayers and hugs!
I feel for you!
I first want to commend you for stepping up to the plate and taking care of your stepdad when no one else will. I only hope he appreciates you for that. Can you contact Social Services to arrange for some home nursing care? You definitely sound as though you need some help with his ADLs. I recommend plenty of exercise and time for yourself if you can find it, a good stress release! Also I think a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation does wonders, but I realize that's not for everyone. Also, try Bach's Flower Remedy from health food stores. There's one called Rescue Remedy - a few drops on the tongue and you feel calm and peaceful and it's all natural.
And lastly just remember . . . this too shall pass !
I feel for you sm
I feel your frustrations. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I haven't had any situations similar to yours, but hearing about your BIL makes me angry. Sounds like he needs to be turned in. Is your sister scared of him? Maybe that's why she hasn't called you to tell you how she really feels. Mayb BIL has some control over her. I don't have any advice, but I sure hope things work out for you. Hang in there. I really hope your son realizes that he doesn't need friends like that. Especially the 20 something year old. He needs to pick on a crowd his own age.
Good luck.
Thank you. I need to just go do it. I feel
bad about being afraid to because some women would like to and might not be able to. Thanks again for your reply.
I feel for you....
I agree with the advice to try to talk to him and get to the bottom of it. I know that can be a hard thing with some men. Would he be willing to go to counseling? In the meantime, I would encourage you to find strong girlfriends to support you rather than guy friends. There's a way of having an emotional affair even when you don't have the physical one, if that makes sense. So it could be true that you're actually both distant right now.
I've been through divorce, and it's a very painful road for you and the kids. Yes, you do need to be a healthy mom for your kids, but that doesn't take away the enormous pain they experience as a result of divorce and the aftermath. You're in a very hard spot with no simple solution.
Clearly something needs to happen, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. I pray God will step into your situation in a dramatic way. Miracles do still happen, so don't give up hope. And regardless of what comes out of this, God can walk you through to a better place than you're in today.
Hang in there. Take positive steps forward. Email me if you ever want to talk.
Then I say just let him do it. I would feel sorry for him.
nm
I feel for ya...
My daughter had the same situation in I think it was 2nd grade, had long beautiful blonde hair, was a nightmare, and, yes, I posted in response to someone about this once and some kind soul responded to me, get a grip, it's just lice, she could get it at the theatre or church or anywhere...which is true but not the case here, this was a problem at school that they knew they were having and had been going on all year I found out later. I was pretty naive, had never seen them before, took her to the doctor to find out what it was! He said, yep, lice, here's some shampoo and get to work, got it cut out for ya unless you want to basically shave her head. I got it, too, because I used my brushes on her hair. Like I said, feel for ya, a real nightmare. Had to call the mother of her friend who had just spent the night that weekend and inform her so she could keep an eye on her daughter.
I kept her home and worked and worked and worked some more on her and everything I could think of. Luckily the rest of the family did not get it. Went to school to talk to the teacher, who said there was a problem with a family who had 2 girls, one of them in DD's class, and guess what, she sat next to my daughter. They had been sent home multiple times, too. I went to the principal and had a little conference, asked why no notes had been sent home informing parents there was a problem and was he aware that a school had been totally shut down not far away where everybody, including the teachers and their families, had lice. Apparently, he wasn't? said they didn't want to send notes because of privacy issues. Huhs? I'm not asking for names and numbers!! just to be informed to be on the lookout so we can be aware and get on top of it. After that, they did start sending home notes alerting about lice outbreaks. They also stopped making the kids put their coats and hats in a pile in the gym or at recess and told the kids not to share hats and coats, etc. I started putting her hair in really tight french braids and asked the teacher to move her to another seat. I kept it low key in front of my daughter, she felt bad enough, like it was her fault, and she cried every day as we sat and I picked the nits. I then understood the true meaning of nit picking!
Also be sure to take care of bedding, stuffed toys, favorite blankets, coats, hats, brushes, combs, etc. your bedding, blankets, pillows if been napping or such on your bed or siblings. I also worked on upholstered furniture, couch pillows, car seats, etc.
I feel bad for both of you
For him to go without being intimate for 3 years, yet want to stay in the marriage has to say something. I can see why he would reduce his requests to e-mail; being bluntly turned down day after day would have to tear him up. So then it comes down to WHY does he want to stay married to you? Because he really loves you and the kids, or is it another reason? I would suggest to try counseling again, preferably through a religious counselor. I think individual counseling might help too. You are in my prayers.
I feel bad for him too but (sm)
he has cheated many times in the past, was physically aggressive for years, beat me pretty bad one time, and gives me no say over any of our financial decisions or any decisions regarding where we live, where we go, what we buy, etc. He stays gone for days at a time without me being able to contact him via cell phone. He wants to stay because of the kids, but he doesn't see them all that much anyway and would see them as much or more if we divorced. I really think it is more about money.
I feel for you. .
I wish I had some good advice for you. . I've never been in such a situation so I just don't know what I would do. . I wish there was some way to help. .
I feel the same way.
Britney Spears - who gives a darn. She does this stuff for attention. Same goes for OJ Simpson. It's on the radio too. I heard Marion Jones 5 time olympiad is striipped of her medals for steroid use and will be jailed for 6 months. Why is this important? Don't ask me?
I don't know who to vote for as it's so confusing to me. I just know that it's time for a change. I am glad that regular citizens stand up for things that are important and have laws passed for our benefit as this is something that takes strength.
My Mom told me that the "war" media coverage was never so explicit when she was young and they never showed this gorey footage that can give us nightmares.
I want those men and women back here where they belong. World peace is something good, but sometimes these countries need to figure it out for themselves.
Times are changing. I wish utilities and gas prices could come down just a tad. I think we live in a "I must have" kind of society now and the things that mean the most have surely been forgotten. It's dog eat dog!
I feel this way too. (nm)
dd
I know how you feel.
I have no husband, but have 2 kids in their 20s living with me. They attend college full-time. One is on scholarship and the other one receives finacial aid. They have to keep a certain GPA to keep the money perks, SOOOO. Guess who does everything around the house, and I mean EVERYTHING.
I work FT and PT (12 hours a day). Not only that, my son's GF is here 3-4 days a week. She doesn't contribute much except for cooking a meal once in a while (because she knows that's the only way she'll eat). She figures since they don't do anything, she shouldn't either. That's a totally different issue, I know.
But it all just gets me down so much... like... when do I get to live? Or is my life over?
I know eventually they'll be out on their own, but until then, I really have not a whole lot of personal joy.
The up-side is that I do enjoy their company. If they were miserable kids, I'd just leave. I love and really, really like them both, so that helps. And I know they appreciate me, but it would be nice if they would help out just a little. I'm really bad about telling people to do things. I just do it because it's faster.
Sorry I can't give you any advice. Just know you're not the only one...
Know how you feel sm
Fortunately (or unfortunately) this is an open board and a lot of comments are nasty. I think I know what you're going through and wish you the best. We hate to see our kids hurting. And, there definitely are bad teachers out there. I had a smart kid whose teacher was herself an ESL and she would put her glasses on the end of her nose and say in broken English, "Oh, ____first name and ____last name, vote for him for President of the United States." Then she purposely gave him B's after getting all 100's on every test. Hubby and I went to her and asked her why and she said he had to "learn to lose," and the war began. We took him out of there and she kept on teaching. It's horrible, feel for you. My "kid" is a professional today and will never forget what she put us all through. His older brother taught him "Pig Latin" which is something she never heard of, so she called us in for a conference as she thought he was a "very strange" child. We had to explain that American Pig Latin was perfectly normal for a 17-year-old brother to teach to his 7-year-old sibling. She had never, ever heard of it. So it's not always the kid, it could be the teacher!
I know how ya feel! sm
When I first went to work at home about 10 years ago, I gained 70 pounds in about a year. I got to the point I couldn't get up from the couch without jet propulsion. Forget sitting on the floor. I was miserable.
I made the decision that feeling and looking well would make me feel better emotionally (and physically)than eating everything in sight, so I joined Weight Watchers and was back down to my normal weight in about 9 months.
I didn't buy a scales until I reached my goal weight and now I weigh myself every day to try and keep a handle on it.
I am an emotional eater as well. And since having to take an additional job, I've gained 10 pounds. Just today I decided that's enough. Again, as stressed and distressed I am, food ultimately does not make anything better. That's what you have to come to terms with. Reward yourself by being good to yourself. As you begin to gradually get that other person off the scales, your emotional state of mind will improve, more than any cheesecake or bag of chips.
I strongly advise WW. It really teaches you how to eat right virtually painlessly and helps you to realize how you got where you are.
Anyhow, I've hopped back on the wagon today. And I know dropping these pounds will help me deal with these looonnggg days/nights working. In fact, I'm beginning to feel better just having made the decision to stop this trend upward. I never want to let myself go like I did before.
Good luck to you!! :-)
Probably same as men feel about all those ED
xxx
I feel for you ...
I see how bad it hurts my mom. Just around Christmas, sis's MIL (mother-in-law) got remarried (4th). Sis came down for a week around the wedding. Invited Mom to go to lunch with her one day while she was down. This is a 45-min trip one way. At this same time, Mom was having a health crisis complete with about 2 months worth of testing (some invasive) so they could diagnose to treat. (She'll be okay.) She had a dr. appt that day. Sis said she couldn't visit Mom here because when wedding stuff wasn't going on, she would be on the golf course with her hubby's sister and her hubby (who live close to sis, and they all play golf together up where they live regularly). That was the lowest blow yet.
feel for you
I am so afraid this could happen to me - SIL's parents live close and his mom is very controlling, plus his parents both have tons of money.. always buying things for my daughter and SIL now - no grandkids yet, but I can kind of picture how things could play out. . we'll see. .
I know exactly how you feel.
My husband is a very intelligent man, but for the past 20 years we have had the same issue as you. Interestingly, my husband has a problem with anger also. What I have learned is that there are times my husband has been desperate for a connection with me and that is just the first place his mind goes. It doesn't matter how many times it is explained to him that women need other kinds of affection, it's in one ear and out the other.
In my husband's case, part of it is that he is just plain selfish. He was a spoiled child and doesn't like the word no. I, on the other hand, was 1 of 6 kids and was never used to getting anything I wanted. Quite a combination. We also have the issue that I was sexually abused through my entire childhood - not a few isolated events, but ongoing over 12 years by my stepfather - and so I REALLY need to feel valued aside from sex.
Try to remember when he is groping you, in his own shallow way, he is trying to show you he loves you and he wants you to show him you love him. If he won't change his actions, maybe you could try to interpret them the way they are probably meant in the first place.
Bless you!
I know just how you feel (sm)
My beagle boy had surgery 2 weeks ago. Before we rescued him, he had been in and out of shelters and passed around from family to family. Even the foster family that had him prior to us kept him tied to a bed post to keep him out of trouble. It broke my heart to leave him in a cage at the vet, and I was sure he felt that he had been abandoned once more. Even though he was in a lot of pain, he was ecstatic when he realized that we had come to take him home again!
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