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I had a very strong-willed child. sm

Posted By: here's what we did on 2008-07-22
In Reply to: Hoping for some words of encouragement on 16 YO daughter. sm - need help desperately

For starters - if she does leave - I would call the police ASAP and report her as a runaway. Otherwise she is out of the house with your permission and you need to protect yourself from neglect charges. Mine ran away 10-15 times and he was finally taken into juvenile hall and then foster care as he was incorrigible and refused to stay home and we had no control - his choice. He had 3 other siblings who obeyed the rules. Remember you are also responsible for any trouble she gets into while she is out there - stealing, etc. It can get very complicated - not to mention dangerous - so do everytihng you can to protect her and you - the street is no place for a 16 YO


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Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
strong stuff
I use to sell the stuff and let me tell you the backing should not hurt the flooring.  Actually, I took a screwdriver and tried to scrap, chip or just try to mar the surface of the flooring and I could not even scratch it at all. 
It's hard, but be strong for your mom and go.

If this is a family gathering, I'd go and be as polite as I could stomach, and then leave and take it up with her at a later time.  Can't say I wouldn't flash her the ol' stinkeye once or twice when no one was looking though.   


 


5 years and going strong
We have had ours 5 years too and store it in a shed in the backyard. It snows here in the winter and gets really hot in the summer. It still works like a charm. Go ahead, make that step and give up all those messy light strings!
I probably would if I had a strong suspicion...
I don't necessarily think it's the right thing to do, but usually when people have a very strong suspicion that something is "off" with their significant other they are right in my experience - unless it's someone who just gets jealous/suspicious over every little thing.  But if your significant other is innocent, then you risk ruining their trust in you, and if you don't fess up to what you've done then you risk accidentally divulging information you learned while snooping and thereby "outing" yourself.  It's a slippery slope for sure!
That may be why it is so strong! They want people to buy
xxx
You don’t seem to be a strong parent
With teenage drinking, driving and the like, why even take the chance of having a diaster in the making waiting around the corner. I just do not see my ever wimping out to my child's father or anyone else for that matter. I guess you don’t want to look like the bad guy but here I think you really do.
Like you, the strong medicine they gave just does not do
it at all. Oh, he also ordered an injection of cortisone today so who knows? I told him the hard stuff did not work and did not need anything for pain, wanted to find out what was causing my pain and after the trigger points told me definitely my problem. I have gone to a pain clinic close by before and would do that again, returning in 2 weeks to this particular clinic and by then should have started the water aerobics and will ask about the pain clinic. I told hubby tonight the pain there all the time, sometimes excrucating and other times just the all over the body pain like mine is today. Gosh, you would not wish this on your worst enemy, would you? Good luck to you also.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you.
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Actually, if you're a strong Christian
and grounded in your faith, you are going to wear it everywhere you go because that is what Jesus instructed us to do. Our job on this earth is to preach the gospel to all people so that they might come to know him.

I'm sorry that it bothers you (and don't say it doesn't because it obviously does) but if you don't like the the posts of Jan, mammamt and others who have chosen to profess their faith then don't read them but please don't knock them down.

I know this is an absolutely futile argument but I just had to throw my 2 cents in there.
nice strong cup of coffee
works for me every morning
I have heard very strong rumours about what happens
to Sabrina. I will share if you want to know. David is definitely leaving the show. I also think he killed Skye.
Sorry didn't mean to use such strong language

Both were borderline diabetic and had heavy heart disease and strokes in their families. My niece had it done and BS'd her way through it.  Easy to con a psychiatrist into thinking your life isn't worth living etc and then they fill out the paperwork for the insurance. 


This person said below she does not want to be a strong parent
I for one would have never written such a post. Not only are you wimping out as a parent but you are also underwriting a child breaking the law. Shame on you big time! You are supposed to be a parent but seems like you want to go back to being a child?
You sound so strong. Truly sorry for your great loss. What a
wonderful tribute you described of your precious Misha. She was VERY blessed to have had you as her owner. May God give you rest and peace right now.
Hate is a very strong word. I don't particularly care
We have a cat, and my SIL doesn't like her, but she tolerates her.  My SIL likes dogs, but I can say that the dog sniffs where she shouldn't whenever people come to their house.  I just think it is funny.  Everyone have their likes and dislikes, but the word hate just bewilders me.  I totally agree with OP in that why reiterate the fact that you hate something over and over again.  
Hate is a very strong word; however, I really don't like my sister(s) very much. sm
I have 3 sisters, 1 brother and 1 deceased brother. I have been close to my brother(s) all of my life and my sisters are just not very nice. I never really bonded with them, only my brothers.

My sisters are nasty and I chose to exclude them from my life. Sad, I know, but it is the only way I can survive.

Now, my brothers - I absolutely adore!!!


Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult

Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.


You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.


I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.


Stand strong, sista!


It was a little strong & overpriced for my tastes. (SeeMsg)
But, that was back when I could taste! I lost my sense of taste and smell a few years ago, so no sense throwing away good money on the expensive brand of anything! Now everything I buy is generic and cheap. (It all tastes the same to me!) HaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to find a pot or coffee that was strong enough
for me. I just cannot seem to get it right. I love to go in Starbucks and smell that aroma and would love to have a good wake me up type but just do not find it. Any ideas here? DH bought new filter for present coffee pot, seemed to make no difference in the taste for me.
MY DAUGHTER is a strong, independent professional

So do my sons. 


I didn't raise them as helpless, mindless animals.  I taught them to be strong.  I taught them how to take care of themselves. 


You probably would let you kid take your money and stomp all over you.  You deserve whatever you got coming there.  Better keep your checkbook handy. 


I think Lakesha started out strong but is starting to fizzle
I really don't have anybody giving me that spark this year. I like Melinda, but the wide eyed wonder thing was starting to get annoying. I'm glad Simon said something last night. Like I said, I think Lakesha started out strong, but she's just lost her edge and may be one of those upsets to go around now or next week, since she was considered an early favorite. Sanjaya was bad last night.. urgh, he was off on the voice, but really, if not for the drama of Sanjaya, there wouldn't be much reason to watch this year. I think what's his name.. the bald one.. Phil? He sang well last night, but he kind of creeps me out. I doubt anyone is going to really catch on or do big things after the show. It's going to be one of those fizzle out years.
Aha! Found the answer! Not a quake, but strong winds, - sm
unusually high tides & storm off the coast is what's causing it. It's more of a 'tidal surge' or 'coastal flooding', though - not really an actual tsunami (aka 'tidal wave') that is caused by seismic activity underneath the ocean. So probably it would be more closely related to the Hurricane Katrina flooding (though not as bad), than to the tsunami in southeast Asia a couple years ago.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
Starbucks coffee IS strong. Probably Breakfast Blend is weakest,
xx
The strong, silent type...tall, dark and handsome..sm

I've read all the posts and was gettin' very hot with the ignorant ones...I didn't know what to say bkz I had too much to say and I could write an epistle.  


My husband of 25 years is very similar...keen observer, listens and gleans information from all the chatty folks before he makes a statement. Ya gotta be wary of people and their intentions.  I was naive and didn't learn that till we moved to the south. 


We've got 2 sons, one is very outspoken and the other is very reserved, (both musical and visual artists in all different mediums and genres).  When asked in a humanities class "What's the name of BB King's guitar?" my son said "Well, which one, Lucille 1 or Lucille 2?" 


Having oreo and zebra scratched into their artwork in woodshop by mean-spirited kids was rotten....But, when one brought a noose on the bus and said "I'm gonna hang all ya'll" we went to address it at school...The only thing we got from central office and the principal was "He was only a-kiddin'".  My husband nearly went off...man of few words but about to strangle someone (school district was 99.5% ivory white) .   


So, does your hubby play an accoustic or electric?  Cat


nope...lol, hint: try reading it with a strong southern accent...lol
:)
Have an extremely strong accent when speaking foreign languages,....nm
nm
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.

I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case.  Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior.  Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!!  Thank you for the kind comments.  To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge.  You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.


Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
Thank God. Having your child taken would be the
.
As a child...
I never sucked my thumb and never had a pacifier. I had crowding of teeth as an adult because of wisdom teeth pushing on them. It really is the size/shape of your mouth/palate that determines crooked teeth, and that is determined by genetics.
More than one child
We were planning on only having one child, but 10 years later (she's almost 4 now) we did have a second one which I of course don't regret for a minute. The only thing I can say is don't listen to those that say you have to have a second child. That's all I heard for years. How can yo just have one, and on and on. It's nobody's business but you and your husband.
Yes, have gone since I was a child.
My kids also go, ages 20, 17 and 15.   It fills my spiritual tank for the week and our pastor is so wonderful and uplifting and we have a fabulous congregation. I don't feel right if I miss a week.
No H is an only child LOL.
That is probably what the problem is too.  No other children to dote on. 
A dog is not a child and has different
needs from a child. But even a child is put in a bassinet to sleep in when they are small to control how much they roll around. Then later they are put in a crib. Is that a cage for you too? Or do you put the child on a full-size mattress and hope for the best? No, you carefully listen to all the rules about safe mattresses for infants and how soon pillows can be used and what position is safest for an infant.

For dogs, you need to get to know them before you give them free reign of the house. Otherwise they might get into something we didn't think of to put up and die. This dog is in the age range of 12-18 months. We can already tell he is inquisitive. We don't know how much time he has spent in a house because he was abandoned at the shelter. We will observe him and train him and grant him more freedoms as he proves himself ready.

Dogs in the wild use dens. You are misinformed, probably by PETA folks who would have you release your Yorkshire terrier to the wild to fend for itself if they had their druthers.
I was 29, he's my only child
before I had him I had two miscarriages in the same year (when I was 28). He is almost 13. I'm in downstate NY and at his school school (it's a Catholic school) many of his classmates' parents are at least as old as I am. Hope to get married soon but probably too late for another..
of course he is my child
I have his age wrong though. He is 31. How on earth can I or should I stop him from stating his own opinion? It is certainly not unusual for an 18-year-old male to use the word, even when talking about his evil GM. He was 18 when dear G'ma died. I'm telling you, the woman was evil, evil, evil!!!! Even my ex-DH (is there such a thing) didn't like her. The only reason my older son liked her was because he was the first grandchild and she worshipped him. When my SIL had 2 kids, they were okay for a while, then she didn't want to mess with them either. She liked dogs and cats more than people. And, by the way, I am really relating to all of you out there who go to your MIL's for all the holidays and not your mom's. I did that also, because I dearly loved my FIL and my SIL, BIL, etc. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared a little more. My mom is only 70, but no one is promised tomorrow. We do all holidays together now.
Right - I don't think they should take the child because (sm)
no matter what, children love their parents and would be traumatized to be taken away from them, so unless they are being terribly mistreated, I don't think they should ever be taken. Children who go thru life in foster homes are rarely ever happy. But Social Services could go in and help them get things cleaned up if that is why. It may not be, but in my case that was the problem. I eventually at about age 11 or 12 went out and bought bug spray and sprayed my hair and brushes and sprayed my PILLOW regularly to keep the bugs away. I am sure that was horrible for my health but I was desperate.
Because he's still YOUR CHILD, and he still needs to know he is welcome. nm
x
child with SVT. sm
Hi.  My 16-year-old son is suspicious for SVT.  Anyone else experience this?  I had made an appointment for March, and now the doc is calling me and wants to see my son next week.  He has already had an echo and an event monitor.  Don't know if I should be freaked out or not. 
Yes, first child....nm
xx
Would you have said anything about this child?
I was at a very big market (international) this morning and as I exited the lunch room to retrieve my cart, saw a very young child alone in a cart with no one around. I stood there not moving for several minutes wondering where a parent might be. I could not even see a person in front or back of him that seemed to be paying attention to this child (probably around 3 or 4 years of age). The serving line in front does have glass so I could see the people buying their lunches. Finally I noticed a man that was looking around frequently at the child and finally he got through the line and came and picked the child up. I approached him to say how it is so easy for a person to snatch his child (John Walsh's on AMW had his young child snatched and killed in similar, only taking a second) and this man looked annoyed and said thank you for your thoughts and hurried away. Clearly child endangerment here but would you have said anything or just let it go?
How do you know it was actually his child?
That's what's scary.
I have a child like this...

(This turned out long.  Please stick with me.)


Like your son, it started in infancy.  He could throw a fit that could go on for 30 minutes.  If it was related to going to sleep, he would cry for hours no matter what I tried.  (Yes, i did have him ruled out for medical causes.)  He just could not calm himself down and he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it.  It started to feel like a war zone and the other kids were not getting the attention they needed because I felt like I had to deal with his bad behavior all the time.


When he was very young (infancy to about 3 years old), I would let him throw his fits and try to ignore them.  After about 30 minutes, I picked him up and rocked him and he always seemed to be relieved and would start to calm down.  I did not give into his demands.  It just was a way for him to know that I loved him even when he acted bad.


But you know what... A few months ago (he is 5 now), he was acting up yet again and I tried to talk to him.  I told him that I knew he was a good boy and that he was just having a hard time with his anger.  He was totally blown away that I thought he was a "good boy."  In his head, he thought he was bad.  This was an eye opener for me.


Because I had my own issues with frustration, I decided to work on me first.  I was sick of the war zone.  That is still a work in progress, but I feel a lot more calm when dealing with him now.


I explain things to him up front.  If we are going to a store, I tell him that I expect him to stand still by me.  If he wants to look at something, he can ask me, etc.  Then I ask him what he thinks the consequence will be if he does not mind.  Sometimes he answers, sometimes not.  Then, I tell him exactly what will happen.  No favorite TV channel or no playing with a favorite toy, something like that.  Just so he knew exactly what would happen if he makes certain CHOICES.  I also don't argue.  It only gets me wound up.  I put the onus back on him.  Counting 1...2...3 gives him a warning to change his behavior or deal with consequences.


I also communicate a lot about other's people reactions to when he "acts good" and "acts bad."  How the things that happen to him are often influenced by his CHOICES.   "Other children may not want to play with someone who ...only wants their way ... does not share ... hits."  "If you share your toy, your friend probably want to share his toys with you."


I praise him when I notice he has done something "good", like brushing his teeth without being reminded.  I tell how much I appreciate it (Because I do.  When you have 3 kids, its a really help when they can do something for themselves.) Someone knowledgeable told me the ratio of praise to discipline is 4:1.  I doubt that I hit that ratio, but I do look for things my kids do right.


None of this is easy for me.  I feel like I am talking myself blue in the face.  I am naturally quiet and not always willing to communicate verbally.  I'm praying the more I communicate now, then eventually I won't have to talk so much later.  Or at least, we can talk about more pleasant things.


I will say though that my son is starting to understand that he will not always get his way, and if he cooperates with me, I am willing to cooperate with him.  There has been good improvement since I started with this in April.


from a child
My son used to say mazagine and hangaburger instead of magazine and hamburger when he was about 3. I loved that. Not common to most people but it was common to him. :)
If this was MY child??? sm
I would be working my way up the food chain at that school. Who in the he!! at that school thinks they know what my child needs or doesn't need? The last I knew, raising children is up to the parents; not the school, not the state, and CERTAINLY NOT A LESBIAN TEACHER!! I was so upset when I just READ the story that it was all I could do to stop myself from sitting down and writing a letter to the school and giving them a piece of my mind.

To any and all parents in that school district...the threat of recall is an extremely potent weapon. Use it!!
I only have one child, a son..sm
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.
Your child isn't doing bad if he AM
is receiving dental care and has a Wii already.  Why are you hell-bent on making money off a fluke?  You certainly aren't setting an example your child should follow by selling it and I hope they DON'T give a gift receipt.