This person said below she does not want to be a strong parent
Posted By: SS on 2009-05-31
In Reply to: What would you do? - thread
I for one would have never written such a post. Not only are you wimping out as a parent but you are also underwriting a child breaking the law. Shame on you big time! You are supposed to be a parent but seems like you want to go back to being a child?
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You don’t seem to be a strong parent
With teenage drinking, driving and the like, why even take the chance of having a diaster in the making waiting around the corner. I just do not see my ever wimping out to my child's father or anyone else for that matter. I guess you don’t want to look like the bad guy but here I think you really do.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
strong stuff
I use to sell the stuff and let me tell you the backing should not hurt the flooring. Actually, I took a screwdriver and tried to scrap, chip or just try to mar the surface of the flooring and I could not even scratch it at all.
It's hard, but be strong for your mom and go.
If this is a family gathering, I'd go and be as polite as I could stomach, and then leave and take it up with her at a later time. Can't say I wouldn't flash her the ol' stinkeye once or twice when no one was looking though.
5 years and going strong
We have had ours 5 years too and store it in a shed in the backyard. It snows here in the winter and gets really hot in the summer. It still works like a charm. Go ahead, make that step and give up all those messy light strings!
I probably would if I had a strong suspicion...
I don't necessarily think it's the right thing to do, but usually when people have a very strong suspicion that something is "off" with their significant other they are right in my experience - unless it's someone who just gets jealous/suspicious over every little thing. But if your significant other is innocent, then you risk ruining their trust in you, and if you don't fess up to what you've done then you risk accidentally divulging information you learned while snooping and thereby "outing" yourself. It's a slippery slope for sure!
That may be why it is so strong! They want people to buy
xxx
Like you, the strong medicine they gave just does not do
it at all. Oh, he also ordered an injection of cortisone today so who knows? I told him the hard stuff did not work and did not need anything for pain, wanted to find out what was causing my pain and after the trigger points told me definitely my problem. I have gone to a pain clinic close by before and would do that again, returning in 2 weeks to this particular clinic and by then should have started the water aerobics and will ask about the pain clinic. I told hubby tonight the pain there all the time, sometimes excrucating and other times just the all over the body pain like mine is today. Gosh, you would not wish this on your worst enemy, would you? Good luck to you also.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you. 
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Actually, if you're a strong Christian
and grounded in your faith, you are going to wear it everywhere you go because that is what Jesus instructed us to do. Our job on this earth is to preach the gospel to all people so that they might come to know him.
I'm sorry that it bothers you (and don't say it doesn't because it obviously does) but if you don't like the the posts of Jan, mammamt and others who have chosen to profess their faith then don't read them but please don't knock them down.
I know this is an absolutely futile argument but I just had to throw my 2 cents in there.
nice strong cup of coffee
works for me every morning
I had a very strong-willed child. sm
For starters - if she does leave - I would call the police ASAP and report her as a runaway. Otherwise she is out of the house with your permission and you need to protect yourself from neglect charges. Mine ran away 10-15 times and he was finally taken into juvenile hall and then foster care as he was incorrigible and refused to stay home and we had no control - his choice. He had 3 other siblings who obeyed the rules. Remember you are also responsible for any trouble she gets into while she is out there - stealing, etc. It can get very complicated - not to mention dangerous - so do everytihng you can to protect her and you - the street is no place for a 16 YO
I have heard very strong rumours about what happens
to Sabrina. I will share if you want to know. David is definitely leaving the show. I also think he killed Skye.
Sorry didn't mean to use such strong language
Both were borderline diabetic and had heavy heart disease and strokes in their families. My niece had it done and BS'd her way through it. Easy to con a psychiatrist into thinking your life isn't worth living etc and then they fill out the paperwork for the insurance.
You sound so strong. Truly sorry for your great loss. What a
wonderful tribute you described of your precious Misha. She was VERY blessed to have had you as her owner. May God give you rest and peace right now.
Hate is a very strong word. I don't particularly care
We have a cat, and my SIL doesn't like her, but she tolerates her. My SIL likes dogs, but I can say that the dog sniffs where she shouldn't whenever people come to their house. I just think it is funny. Everyone have their likes and dislikes, but the word hate just bewilders me. I totally agree with OP in that why reiterate the fact that you hate something over and over again. 
Hate is a very strong word; however, I really don't like my sister(s) very much. sm
I have 3 sisters, 1 brother and 1 deceased brother. I have been close to my brother(s) all of my life and my sisters are just not very nice. I never really bonded with them, only my brothers.
My sisters are nasty and I chose to exclude them from my life. Sad, I know, but it is the only way I can survive.
Now, my brothers - I absolutely adore!!!
Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult
Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.
You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.
I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.
Stand strong, sista!
It was a little strong & overpriced for my tastes. (SeeMsg)
But, that was back when I could taste! I lost my sense of taste and smell a few years ago, so no sense throwing away good money on the expensive brand of anything! Now everything I buy is generic and cheap. (It all tastes the same to me!) HaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to find a pot or coffee that was strong enough
for me. I just cannot seem to get it right. I love to go in Starbucks and smell that aroma and would love to have a good wake me up type but just do not find it. Any ideas here? DH bought new filter for present coffee pot, seemed to make no difference in the taste for me.
MY DAUGHTER is a strong, independent professional
So do my sons.
I didn't raise them as helpless, mindless animals. I taught them to be strong. I taught them how to take care of themselves.
You probably would let you kid take your money and stomp all over you. You deserve whatever you got coming there. Better keep your checkbook handy.
I think Lakesha started out strong but is starting to fizzle
I really don't have anybody giving me that spark this year. I like Melinda, but the wide eyed wonder thing was starting to get annoying. I'm glad Simon said something last night. Like I said, I think Lakesha started out strong, but she's just lost her edge and may be one of those upsets to go around now or next week, since she was considered an early favorite. Sanjaya was bad last night.. urgh, he was off on the voice, but really, if not for the drama of Sanjaya, there wouldn't be much reason to watch this year. I think what's his name.. the bald one.. Phil? He sang well last night, but he kind of creeps me out. I doubt anyone is going to really catch on or do big things after the show. It's going to be one of those fizzle out years.
Aha! Found the answer! Not a quake, but strong winds, - sm
unusually high tides & storm off the coast is what's causing it. It's more of a 'tidal surge' or 'coastal flooding', though - not really an actual tsunami (aka 'tidal wave') that is caused by seismic activity underneath the ocean. So probably it would be more closely related to the Hurricane Katrina flooding (though not as bad), than to the tsunami in southeast Asia a couple years ago.
Starbucks coffee IS strong. Probably Breakfast Blend is weakest,
xx
The strong, silent type...tall, dark and handsome..sm
I've read all the posts and was gettin' very hot with the ignorant ones...I didn't know what to say bkz I had too much to say and I could write an epistle.
My husband of 25 years is very similar...keen observer, listens and gleans information from all the chatty folks before he makes a statement. Ya gotta be wary of people and their intentions. I was naive and didn't learn that till we moved to the south.
We've got 2 sons, one is very outspoken and the other is very reserved, (both musical and visual artists in all different mediums and genres). When asked in a humanities class "What's the name of BB King's guitar?" my son said "Well, which one, Lucille 1 or Lucille 2?"
Having oreo and zebra scratched into their artwork in woodshop by mean-spirited kids was rotten....But, when one brought a noose on the bus and said "I'm gonna hang all ya'll" we went to address it at school...The only thing we got from central office and the principal was "He was only a-kiddin'". My husband nearly went off...man of few words but about to strangle someone (school district was 99.5% ivory white) .
So, does your hubby play an accoustic or electric?  Cat
nope...lol, hint: try reading it with a strong southern accent...lol
:)
Have an extremely strong accent when speaking foreign languages,....nm
nm
It probably varies from person to person (sm)
With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him. I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?
Second child, same experience. She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs. I had already put my regular clothes back on as well. My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.
I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases. With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.
No! Not if you are not their parent! (sm)
I think that it is better for the parents to tell the children from the very beginning that they were "chosen" and tell them how much they were wanted and how much they are loved. Since they didn't do that, it certainly is no one else's place to do so! If someone slips and the kids go and ask the parents, that's one thing, but for someone else to sit them down and tell them behind the parents' back would be really, really traumatic for them and very wrong!! Please don't do it!!
i am not even a parent, but
i have been blown away by the violent video games, trashy clothes and rude behavior of children and the parents who allow this. kudos to you! what you are doing is wonderful. keep it up.
I am a parent and it seems to me...
that if there are no consequences for her actions, she will more likely do whatever she wants in the future, not think about it and do the right thing. In the real world, she will have to do what superiors tell her to do, or there will be consequences. I think that it is a parent's responsibility to prepare children for that. Of course, I assume that this is an active parent who already speaks to her child and knows what is going on. I believe in obtrusive parenting.
And it should be...why should one parent
bear the brunt of all expenses. It is not too much to ask for the other parent to chip in.
Did you ever think maybe NEITHER parent
Nobody is guaranteed that their parent HAS to pay for their college. It is an option, not a requirement by law. However, if the child got a job and is putting themselves through school, and NEITHER parent is contributing, in Indiana, even if the child is away at school but uses the custodial parent's address as the place they go when school is on break, non-custodial is still forced to pay child support to custodial.
IMO custodial parent should lose that title AND child support when child reaches legal adult age of 18. Then if child support MUST be continued by law merely because child is a student, it should be paid directly to the 18+ year old adult!!!!
Your doctor says this, but you are the parent
and you are going on the theory that she will not become sexually active nor show up with sexually transmitted diseases up to the age of 17. That is your responsibility, not the physicians to choose or not. There are a lot of girls sexually active way before 17 What makes you think your daughter is different?
I think depends a lot on the parent.
My mom does nothing but preach about how horrible girls are and how she wishes that she had only boys. (I am her only daughter, so imagine how that makes me feel.) Let's compare my teen years with my brother's. Me: Straight A student, preferred books to running with friends, worked from age 14, saved my money, bought my own clothes, received scholarships and paid my way through college. Brother: Drugs, parties, bad grades, skipped school, finally quit and joined army and cursed mom out as he left home. Beyond the teen years, I've been married 23 years to a wonderful man, have three great kids (boys). Brother has three ex-wives and who knows how many children. Oh! And the cherry on this sundae... when I was 16, my brother tried to kill me. Beat me nearly half to death, choked me and police came to take him away. Still, in mom's eyes, he can do no wrong and girls are all evil.
OK. Just a little vent. We all need one now and then.
Noncustodial Parent
Children pay dearly when adults act like this. They need their mom, dad, grandparents, and family members in their lives on a REGULAR basis. Withholding visitation for any reason will come back to haunt the custodial parent one day ... and their children will pay the price.
As a parent of an adopted
child, I would definitely say the answer is 'no" and it is for this very reason that my husband and I have from the beginning talked to our son about the fact that he is special because he is adopted - we wanted to be the ones to tell him the truth rather than him hear it from someone else. This is definitely something that the parents should do and should do so when they feel comfortable talking about it with their children...My son is 6 and he knows he is adopted. He understands that he came from someone elses belly (he's my heart baby as we have told him. We answer his questions when he asks them and tell him just want he asked for - divulging nothing else to confuse him - take for instance at 4 is when he noticed my SIL's pregnant belly and knew the baby was there - he at that point put 2-n-2 together and realized something was up - which prompted us to talk about him being from someone else's belly. Then a few months ago he asked about this other person - why she didn't keep him, what was her name....(yes we were very surprised as our social worker said little boys are usually much older before they really inquire!)...but we answered his questions reinforcing the positives of being adopted because he had brought us so much happiness and that this other woman did love him enough to know she couldn't raise him and loved him enough to give him to us -making us a family! Sorry for rambling....adoption issues usually get me on a soap box sometimes!! Either way the answer to your question is definitely not your place to tell - leave it up to the parents.
Need some advice whether you are a parent or not
Sorry that this is a bit long....One of the doctors I work for is also my step-uncle. He is my step-mother's (been married to my dad for 29 years) brother. He is an ENT doctor and goes to Africa a couple of times a year to do cleft lip and palate surgeries. Each trip is 2 weeks long and has been put together by my uncle and a couple of other christian doctors to also bring the message of christ to the patients and their families. Well, my uncle just called me to tell me they are working on the trip for July of next year and would like to add my son to the team. He will be 17 by then and getting ready to start his senior year in high school. I have often talked about my son on this board and always said he was very responsible for his age. My son, my DH and my uncle have discussed this in the past and my son really wants to do this. He is defintely planning on going into medicine and is a strong christian. I know this is a chance of a lifetime but I can't help but worry if letting him go is the right thing to do. Normally if anyone under 18 goes they have to have a parent with them but my uncle will be his legal guardian for the trip since they can only take a limited number of people.
Here is one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with the decision. My son was at VA Tech on a high school field trip the day of the shootings and this is where he plans on attending college. Since then I have kept a bit of a tighter grip on him. I know he would be devestated if we said no (actucally my DH is all for the trip). Has anyone had any experience similar to this or any opinions on my situation? Thanks.
Another Husky parent!
Wow! A lot of you guys have this breed of dog! They sure are gorgeous! Who is the brown "dude" in the lower left corner trying to sneak in on the shot? Too cute! :)
I have right to my opinion, same as you. Parent job
x
Do think being parent alone protects someone from
x
any parent who ever let their kid idolize her should be.....
nm
were you a single parent
x
Please tell me I am not the only parent to feel this way
I am a mother of 3 children a boy 18, a girl 11, and a boy 5. In my home, driving is not a right of passage, it is a privilege. You must obey house rules, keep your grades up, and you have to purchase your own vehicle. You must also have a job to pay for insurance and gas, as we are not a bank or an ATM machine at your disposal. If you cannot follow the above, umm sorry 'bout your luck!
Am I the only parent out there with children that sees no point in cell phones for kids, especially for the younger ones. I swear most of the kids my daughter's age DO have one and she is 11. Am I one of the few who monitors what their children watch on TV? Am I the only parent that makes their children earn time for video games and then has a set time limit for it when they do get to play? Am I the only mother in the world who thinks its horrible to let your daughter run around in clothing with words across the behind?? Seriously who do you think is looking at this and why do you want to draw attention to your child's rear end? Ooohhh ya and all the parents who sign their kids up for little league things and dump and run. These practices and events are not free babysitting!!! I honestly know of a few mothers that take their daughters to gymnastics and leave them there and go down to the bar and grill and have a few drinks while they wait for their kids!
Okay, so I know it sounds like I am whining, but I have had enough! I am tired of being told by other parents that I am a prude, I need to catch up to the times, and the one I hate most of all is "our kids need us to be their friends"! I have a responsibility to my children to RAISE them.
My children and I all have good relationships. We talk about everything under the sun. They come to me with most of their troubles or questions and know they have nothing to fear, I will hear anything and answer them openly and honestly.
That can be done without letting the "tail wag the dog" so to speak. Are ppl to busy or so self-absorbed anymore to take the time to raise their children?
Not a grandmother but parent myself
Well maybe you were a little defensive then and not resentful but reading your post it sounded like the things you do with/for your kids were more like chores instead of things you chose to do. I am not a grandparent but still a parent as both my sons still live at home as they go to college. I see too many people who just leave their kids to fend for themselves, 2-3 nights every week and every weekend during hockey season and other sports seasons...sorry if I offended you but that's the way you came off.
I see nothing wrong with asking your parent
This was my father and I was his next of kin. You try to make it sound dramatic as if he were dying. He was in excellent health with no medical issues at all. He had no other family members except for grandchildren, nieces and nephews. No wife, no siblings. I asked if I outlived him could I have the property. He lived out of state. When I asked him he did a quick deed, I paid for all insurance on the property as well as property taxes for about 4 years prior to his getting killed in an accidental death. I only wish I had asked my mother prior to her death (being as I was her only living child) if I could have had her personal belongings. I did not get those and should have. I learned when she died not to hold back if you want something. Now really, how would you feel if you were an only child and was bypassed with things that rightfully should be yours in the first place. Even in a court of law, a child comes first before others in who gets what when it comes to things like this. Don’t get on your soap box.
No one except a parent can understand, eh??!! sm
Ridiculous, with just a hint of "gotta-belong-to-my-club" elitism tossed in. Any sentient and compassionate human being can understand the issues, perhaps even better than someone whose judgment is emotionally clouded, and including the travesty that false hope and half-truths cause every day in the medical industry. (Hint: Go stand at the Mexican border where you can collect the sad stories.)
Please re-read my post. I did not suggest that ESC research should not go forward. I was merely giving the rest of the facts about the dismal history and science of ESC research so far that Obama so conveniently omitted, and saying that we need to do this with protections for embryos in place.
I was just giving you the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey used to say. I'm sorry if it's an "inconvenient truth", and despite my reservations, I do wish the very best for your child just as I do for the unborn embryos now at increased risk.
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.
It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.
I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.
I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.
It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.
I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...
All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.
Good luck, sweetie! :-)
Glad you recognize it's the PARENT here
and not this CHILD who is probably miserable being the way he is!
You MAY have tried everything possible not to ostracize him (without jeopardizing your kids' safety) but consider if there is a way to HELP him - he is probably desparate for the RIGHT kind of attention.
Think about it. and consider what type of ADULT he might turn out to be if no NORMAL adults try to help him.
Just the weight issue alone is a sign this family is in trouble.
GOOD luck.
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