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If they kids are safe there - just let it go.

Posted By: mtstudent on 2007-04-09
In Reply to: With all due respect ... - Grammie

Some families do holidays as major events. If the stepmom and her family are half descent people and the kids are safe there then don't worry about it. :)




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my kids had a safe haven to come sm
home to and they knew it and still know it. They have come back twice when times were tough and we didn't charge them a dime until they got on their feet in a couple months. I just think is an injustice to not charge them at all and let them go and do as they please when working and not going to school. You don't get to blow your money as you please as an adult, why should they if they are not in school?
Kids want/need bounderies. Makes them feel safe
c
Better safe then sorry
I support your reaction/action to the situation. It would seem to me that the FBI would not prosecute, and the court would not find him guilty, if it was sent to him in error. Be supportive to your daughter's friend's mother - but hold firm. Women's intuition is generally correct.
Did I say anything about not being safe?

That wasn't even the point of the OP.  She wanted to know about in-laws or anyone else just walking in without knocking.  My family and friends don't have to knock before they come my house.  That was my point.


I live in a rural area that I grew up in, everyone knows everyone else.  I have a nice, loud watch dog who lets me know when anyone is around.  The windows are locked.  The doors are locked at night and when we leave the house.  I know what kind of a world we live in.  The Pony Express brings the paper every couple of weeks back to the sticks.  I try to stay informed. 


Better Safe Than Sorry
Better to be safe than sorry, especially with beef -- that can be a very bad GI problem if the beef has gone bad with bacteria.

Happy New Year!!
is there nothing safe?
How can any of you get so excited and downright mean about something as basic as a vitamin question? Gee whiz, it's just a discussion board. So contentious.
Can't make them safe.
A 14 year old I know was killed on his bike a few weeks ago.  You can't make them live in a bubble.  I will pay for my kids insurance and their cars.  Of course they will have rules, although our state has plenty as it is for young drivers.  I will teach them to be responsible drivers, walkers, bike riders, etc.  Just because life can be hard, doesn't mean you have to make it be harder.  I moved out of my parents house just before my 15th birthday and took care of myself.  While it can be done, it doesn't always have to be.
Oh, no. The dog is here, safe and sound.

A little on the bossy side with my dogs, but...LOL!  She's here and everyone is getting along for the most part. 


She needs to learn about safe sex. Either you SM
discuss this with her or, better yet, see doctor and have her given some form of birth control. I think this is imperative. If she is having sex, I don't think she is going to stop. You somehow have to convince her to act responsibly. Condoms would be the best thing.


SAFE HAVEN LAW

Wow, this just blows me away.  Last year or early this year a mother aged 17 or 18 gave birth to her 2nd child without parents or anyone for that matter knowing she was pregnant.  She walked into an Omaha Hospital and left her child in a restroom and walked out.  Please note at that time Nebraska was the ONLY state which did not have a safe haven law on the books.  It was pushed through shortly after and is now a law FINALLY.  Which is good because now mothers, who do not want to or cannot take care of their children have a safe place to take them without being in trouble for doing so. 


Well, to my understanding this law (NE only), does not have an age limit as to how old the chid can be when dropped off at the hospital.  Other states have it cut off at 14 but none have ever seen a child OVER 3.  This information came from a radio show about the new law yesterday.  Since the law was put in place a mother dropped off an 11 year old, a different family  dropped off a 9 year old and this mornings news has the following



















"






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Girl, 13, Abandoned At Omaha Hospital


State Takes Custody Of Teen Under Safe Haven Law



POSTED: 5:13 pm CDT September 20, 2008

UPDATED: 5:23 pm CDT September 20, 2008






The state has taken temporary custody of a teenage girl who was dropped off at an Omaha hospital Saturday under Nebraska's new safe haven law.

A representative from the state Department of Health and Human Services said the girl, 13, was left at Immanuel Hospital around midday. No other details were released.

The girl was the third child dropped off at Nebraska hospitals in the past week.











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The state's safe haven law took effect in July and allows parents to abandon children at hospitals and other locations. The law does not set a minimum age after which a child can't be left without prosecution.


 


Does anyone have any thoughts on this?  I agree with the law all the way.  I am just concerned about the after shock of having an older child dropped off at the ages stated above, what kind of damage is that doing to the child?  I do not agree with child abuse and know that older children are abused all the time but is there not another way we could deal with this? 


Just wondering what everyone else was thinking. 


It is already from a safe contact
I can open all mail, but where pics should be (and were before hotmail changed the look) are just boxes. It isn't just from one contact, but from all my contacts that I used to receive pics from. Now what? I sent an email to the contact site, but they have not answered me yet.
This one is completely fail-safe:
It's expensive. It's bad for your health. DUI's are expensive. AND, in 2008, if you're DUI and kill someone, you can be charged with MURDER, instead of merely vehicular manslaughter.

So I'm havin' a Coke, staying sober, and hopefully I'll live to enjoy yet another year.
Abstinence is not Birth Control, it is SAFE SEX.
Abstinence is truly the only SAFE SEX....but it is NOT considered birth control........
Here's a couple of safe pet food sites.....

http://www.flintriver.com/


http://www.petpromiseinc.com/
I hope your family stays safe. It looks really bad.
I hope they decide not to ride it out though. I have been watching on TV all day. Senator Kay Baily Hutchinson was just on Fox News and she believes Galveston is going to be underwater due to the storm surge. Not sure where your family is, but hopefully they thought better about staying and left.
Good grief, they deserve a safe sm
plce to live! They are not going to remember the big house, etc when they are grown. They WILL remember the abuse you subjected them to and did not get out.
Why not stay safe AND support the US economy
San Diego, Santa Barbara, Santa Monica/Venice Beach, LA Jolla, Pismo Beach, etc.

Also early spring is the best time to see the Grand Canyon, Southwest, etc., before it gets hot, and the hordes of tourist busses arrive.
So you think cell phones are safe? This is troubling!
This is probably what it does to our brain power - like putting your head in a microwave, 

 Click on POPCORN   or the link


Glad your son is safe and sound. Prayers to those who aren't. nm
x
Oh my word! Talk about timing - I know you are glad that he is safe sm
and I am so glad for you. Praise God. I had absolutely NO idea that many were killed. Today was a no-tv day for me so I had no idea of the death toll. Count your blessings. I know you are. And yes, how tragically sad for those left behind. so senseless....I am so sad now.

:(
Hope you are safe in the Midwest with the terrible storms..
that are ravaging the area. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.
Actually, relatives in suburban PA don't lock either and I feel safe there, roo. sm
But i would not feel safe in my own home unlocked, even though I'm in a gated community with tons of outside lights, etc. For some reason I feel safe in someone else's house more than my own.
Is it safe to drink unopened canned items
That have been refrigerated for a couple weeks. Found a can of pineapple juice my husband put in the refrigerator a couple weeks ago, but didn't open. I know it's not safe to put open cans in the refrigerator, not sure about something that has not been opened yet.
I have relatives in fairly rural Maine who never lock, and I feel totally safe there. nm
x
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.

I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?


ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.

Consider homeschooling her.

Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I believe my kids would still believe . .
had I not got totally busted by my 10-year-old son. My 7-year-old still believes. I always asked as my kids if they believe and when they said yes, I said that that is all that is important. My son caught me playing the EB last Easter. He said to me yesterday, "Come on, a giant bunny hopping around the country bringing easter baskets? How long did you expect me to fall for that?" I about split a gut laughing!!! However, both older children know how important it is to let the 7YO believe, we all watched Polar Express last night and they still were mesmerized!!!
I think a LOT of men are like that with kids
Maybe because since such a high % of marriages end in divorce, some of them keep a distance there. After all, when divorces happen, who gets the kids? Also, women tend to take charge when it comes to the kids and men tend to allow it. I truly believe that kids do not always strengthen a marriage but often the opposite. I have seen statistics stating that more couples with children get divorced than those who don't have any. Interesting, huh? JMO
That's why I won't have kids.
I have totally turned off the need/want to have kids, because I know my husband could never handle it.  I don't want to be a single parent...especially a married single parent, know what I mean?  It's an incredible commitment and they don't stay portable and nonverbal for long. 
What do your kids

What do your kids call you and your spouse? Would you mind if they changed it, as in Mom instead of Mommy, as they got older? My kids call me Mom. If they call me Ma......I correct them, I don't LIKE it!! My son's GF calls me Mommy or Mom, I don't mind. My DIL calls me by my first name, I don't mind that either. I have a stepson, he also calls me Mom.

I do but only to keep an eye on my kids. NM
x
Hello......if you want your kids to know...
about STDs and how not to get pregnant, YOU teach them. Why should there have to be programs about that at all? If you want them to have condoms, you buy them, don't ask the school nurse to hand them out. As to the genius of a President...at least he is trying. The one before him was hardly an advertisement for wise choices where sex is concerned ala black dress and use of cigars in a way that NO one ever intended...and committed felony perjury while a sitting President. Oh, but, heck....who cares, right?? Geeeezzz. Gimme a break.
Hello, yourself. If I had kids, I would...sm
Teach them those things. And if you're questioning why there s/b sex ed programs in school at all, why do you seem to be defending the current abstinence-only ones? They're worse than nothing at all because they give inadequate and downright *false* information. How is not having all the facts (or having the wrong "facts") ever a good thing? Just doesn't make any sense to me. If you want Bush to get credit because "at least he's trying" well, that seems like a pretty low standard for the president of our country.

Now as far as Clinton, I never said I was a fan. You're assuming an awful lot there. I don't even want to get into that.
I was one of four kids (sm)
and I was always wishing that my twin sister and I could have parents of our own. Living with mean older siblings was no fun!
Once again, your kids are still not that old
but when my son married, completely absorbed into not only his wifes life (which I am the first to say she comes first) but also her family and I basically just lost a son. Just swallowed up by her side and you would not know he really had a mother anymore. Quit trying on that end some time ago.
Especially with little kids
nm
Buy them, but keep away from little kids, sm
When my daughter was 2 or 3, she got her hands on one of the poppies in the back seat and must have pulled it apart and put the plastic middle up her nose. We didn't know in the beginning what was there, but after a visit to her pediatrician who couldn't get at it, a trip to the emergency room, a 5 hour wait for an ENT guy with the correct equipment to retrieve it, we discovered it was the middle of the poppy. Since then, whenever I see them selling the poppies, I tell them to warn parents with little kids to keep the poppies away from the kids.
I don't even have kids, and I
think that's coooooolllld.

It's really not nice to try to be scientific or philosophical with somebody who is going through a loss and expresses sorrow.

Did Jesus tell Lazarus' family, "Hey, dont worry about it; we'll all see him in heaven soon!" No, he took pity on them in their sorrow. That's how He is. Let's try to mirror Him, not philosophists and scientists when it comes to people who are hurting.
Probably more the kids
Love my marriage and don’t mind the divorces until I got it right. The kids are ok as long as infant, toddlers and then they grow up. Not my cup of tea anymore.
Kids going out
I have no problem with it, but there's always upwards of 10 children and at least 3 adults to supervise out all the time, but I would never let my youngest go out alone under any circumstances. We have a very quiet neighborhood, but you never know.
Some men have kids, but then
continue to spend as if they are still single. I can't believe how often I see this. They complain when the wife buys clothes, but when he buys something it has an engine and it's a big, dangerous toy!

That's why I can see why some women might want to hide money. Of course not all men are like that.
I used to buy my kids
those paint-by-numbers kits. Kept them occupied for a short time. Also go to a dollar store and load up on some new toys and books without spending a fortune.
She has kids as well
That was the deal - we were taking both of our kids to do something fun together.
kids
My DD (17 YO) has been getting her self up for years on her own.  My mom bought her an alarm clock and she started using that to get up on her own.  Now my DS on the other hand, is 20 and I still have to wake him up for work...go figure.  I think girls are just more responsible that way.
kids...
I've had both of mine doing their own laundry for about 3-4 years now, since my DD was about 12 and DS about 15, maybe younger.  My DD could take care of her own place right now (16 YO), but my DS (20 YO) is another story...maybe it doesn't have anything to do with gender after all...
kids...
Oooh, me too! They do their own bathroom, laundry, and bedrooms. I have my own to worry about.  It hasn't killed them yet!
No kids, nothing
could make me stay around to be miserable. I feel most of the times I read these posts the women really do not want to live and use children as their reason for staying. I do not think I could ever say I have been miserable, that is really bad. Only you would be able to change your life and only if you want to. Good luck.
I don't even have kids and I still
wouldn't date somebody 20 years younger than me. I happen to like having a few things in common with my mate. However, 5 years younger instead of older would have its advantages, LOL.


Took my kids to see
Billy Ray Cyrus last night and have to admit it was great! That was their first concert and of course now, he is "Hannah Montana's Dad" They really had fun though! He actually sang Achy Breaky Heart while playing his guitar and barely wiggled a hip through the whole song!
Kids!! UGH!!
They can fill you with such joy and pride and then WHAM! You now understand why some animals eat their young.

I had a very similar experience with my braniac son who became a complete and utter imbecile freshman year of college over the girlfriend he was leaving behind.

What about this: Forget the phone, texting, IM-ing, etc. You can't control him and the more you try, the worse it will be. Your concern should be that he maintains good grades. You sit your son down and tell him you will continue to pay for/support him while he goes to the school he is currently attending. If he chooses to leave the school and give up the scholarship, that is his decision, but if he does that, he's on his own. You signed up to send him to school where he is now. He got the scholarship (for 4 years?), and he got a car. You can offer to pay for the new school where the girl of his dreams (this year) is at, the same amount you would be paying had he remained at the old school. Any costs above and beyond are his. If he does transfer, sell the car - he didn't keep his part of the bargain. I am assuming the car is in your name, insured under your policy. He has to learn to be a man of his word and has to suffer the consequences of not holding up his end of the deal. It is not the end of the world. He will/she will meet someone else and then you can enjoy a whole new set of dramas! My son threatened to pack up his stuff and hop the next train home if I didn't pick him up at school and bring him back. I told him you go right ahead and buy that train ticket, but you will need to find a place to live when you get back because the locks will be changed here. I have caller ID and I did not answer his calls for a while after that. As with you, this all took place first semester. He finally decided to "try" to tough out the year. A week later he loved school, broke up with the bimb...ah, girlfriend, and he's now in his 3rd year at the same college.

Time to put some responsibility on your son. You can offer advice, but punishing, demanding, etc. an 18-year-old does not work. Staying calm and rational and explaining consequences is far more effective.

Time to let go a little, mom, and put some of this on him. He's thinking with the wrong body part and he's only thinking about the here and now, not the next 3 years, like the majority of 18-year-old boys do.

Hang in there! Parenting is not for the weak. That drama with my son made me lose 5 pounds, 2 weeks of sleep and half a head of hair, but I did survive.