Married good friend of my deceased husband
Posted By: Sassy on 2008-12-16
In Reply to: Just wondering where you met him? nm - curious
I knew him for over 30 years and yet didn't know him. He is very quiet, reserved, shy and when husband died called after 12 days to invite me to the zoo- I had no idea he had ever seen me to tell the truth. Bottom line months later he told me had loved me since the first day he saw me and "just waited."
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My now deceased husband brought his friend home, now my hubby
Was it love at first sight? Not for me but years later after the death of the previous one, my now husband (he never married, no kids) told me he had loved me from the very first day he saw me. I did not even know he saw me. We are talking 30 more years and the weight, well I will just leave at the 30+ years.
My deceased husband visits in dreams and
I am remarried, to one of his best friends.
Reminds me of a story about my deceased husband
We had his grandchildren staying at our home and what a handful, 3 of them, ages 13, 8 and 10. The 10 year old was acting out and threatened to call the police on his g'father (my hubby) when the g'father had done nothing for him to say that. The g'father told him go ahead but he would make the kid wish 1000 times he had never picked up the phone to call in the first place. That seemed to work pretty well as the kid just looked at the phone and did not make that call.
Married to a mean redneck and have a secret black friend nm
x
I would have never married my husband. nm
nm
Husband died in May, I married one of his best friends that December
Thus my name-----
My husband's best friend is
They've known each other since they were 7 and he's definitely the most trusted person and vice versa. I trust him too, actually.
they don't hang out all the time though. They're in different states.
Having had several friends who turned out to be "fair weather", I don't trust anybody that much. (Of my friends.)
My husband is my best friend.
Everyone else is wonderful, and I love them, but I prefer to rely on my sweetheart for tried and true companionship, and everyone else for fun times through shared interests.
Had a friend whose husband died
and she had grown children but I know she was not able to collect his social security at 50 - she had to wait til at least 60 before collecting on his. She had never really worked at job where she could make her own living and she was in a mess, had to take sales position in a dress shop and nearly went under waiting.
Husband asked my friend to sew something for him (sm)
He is very old fashioned and feels that all women should know how to sew. I don't know how, but of course can patch holes and replace buttons. So last night she told me she had something to give my husband for Christmas - a hunting vest he asked her to sew a bullet holder on for him. He often takes things to his mother and grandmother to sew but now even to my friend? I told her she should have just told him no but she said, No, I love doing things like that. About a week ago he had taken my sewing machine out of the attic and was going to give it away. I told him he couldn't give it away, it was a gift from my aunt and uncle. He said I never use it so why shouldn't HE give it away. I told him it wasn't his. Anyway, I'm just really aggravated right now.
My best friend was MURDERED by her husband, sm
and someone I worked with was shot in the head by her significant other. You must take his threat 100% seriously. Please, please call the police and have him committed. He is now officially a danger to self AND OTHERS. Take action now and do not depend on the situation to "work its way out." I implore you to take action while you can.
You had every right to be upset. Your husband should have told his friend
and then would get back to him. Now, if you don't feel comfortable going on a long trip with your small children and their practically grown children, tell your husband you don't want to go and that since it's your money your earning as well that you want to have some say in planning a vacation and that it should be done together as a couple, even as a family, and not just by one person.
A friend of mine has a husband with myasthenia gravis
and it affects his eyelids. He can't hold them open and had special glasses made witih a wire that he puts under both eyelids for support. I hope it's not that, and certainly may be something else, but I think an ophthalmology exam is in order and then maybe referral to a neurologist. Good luck. Keep us posted.
Have a friend who used her husband's sticker. He really was disabled and stayed at home (sm)
so therefore she gladly took over use of his tags for her purposes. When he died she was aggravated when they wouldn't renew them a year or so after his death. Guess she thought they were survivor's benefits.
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
Good grief, lost of people get married and don't have children nm
Z
I have a good friend who had it....
She did great. She said the key is to do EXACTLY as the doctor says - no cheating. She has lost 150 pounds, and looks and feels wonderful.
Cat UR such a Good Friend! But why
have I not heard from U. Did you get my new email. I have spent many frustrating moments here trying to report and change it..
A very good friend once said...
*If you can raise a puppy, then raising a child is easy...*
I think you are on the right track. It's hard to remember that puppies need patience just like young children do. I have a Corgi boy that did not train as fast as I thought he should, but he did get there after about 6-7 months. For me, since it was my first time, I had no idea how long it would take. It would probably go faster a 2nd time around. From some reading I did, it sounded like it should be in a matter of days, and some dogs just do not fit that mold.
It reminds me of all those who told me their baby slept through the night at 6 weeks of age. That did not happen for me until my 3rd child was born. Each child and puppy are different.
1 best friend, 3 or 4 really good ones, and
lots of casual ones. My best friend lives clear across the country. :(
My other good friends are within 30-70 miles, I see them a couple times month, the other more casual ones, I see every week at the roller rink.
I have a good friend who used to be a stripper....sm
She was still a good person. You would never know she was a stripper just by meeting her. She didn't look the type. But she was. She said she made good money. She quit because she got tired of perverted men. She said they were degrading to you sometimes.
If your friend is good at measuring... sm
and cutting, certainly it can be done. I re-did the floor with vinyl and it came out fine. Learn from my mistake--make sure ALL lumps and bumps, no matter how small they seem, are smoothed out before the adhesive cures. I had the counters done by a pro, but the guys were great and explained everything to me. It actually *seemed* pretty easy, but I bought Corian solid surface, so it had to be cut in the factory and delivered. Can the cabinets just be updated with new doors? Go to a big hardware store (Lowe's, Home Depot) and check out their sample rooms. This helped me determine what type of material to use, style of sink surround, colors, etc. It took me over a month to decide what to get. Have fun! It's hard work, but I love DIY stuff.
If you are interested, I had to Google my countertop material and came up with this: http://homerenovations.about.com/od/kitchens/a/artcounters.htm
I had same question. Daughter of good friend SM
had large wedding, married for less than two years, now she is getting married again. She was very immature when she got married the first time. Her parents never let her date and so she married the first guy she dated!
I suppose the nice thing is respect the first marriage "didn't count" and, hopefully, this one will.
A good friend of mine had a lap band
However there are a lot of hoops to jump through testing wise before you can have those procedures done including a psychiatrist. Also if you do not follow the directions you can become sick, which means you cannot over eat and must exercise. She is doing fine with it, but did it mainly because her back bothered her so much. Come to find out her back is still an issue and she needs surgery to correct that. So, if it is a last resort, I'd say it is worth a try, but I would not do it with all of the complications and risk of infections unless it is a serious must.
My good friend has family over there -checked BBC, (sm)
and everywhere, couldn't find anything. Many apologies. At least I got to tell my friend so she could call her family.
Good friend had this, had MANY complications, infections, PEG tube, ICU, etc. Put
s
A very good friend of mine had ablation and no regrets.
She has no more periods. This is just a little over a year, and she was having very serious problems, had to have transfusion twice due to the heavy bleeds prior. She was willing to try this before hysterectomy, and it worked for her.
My husband is doing a good job sm
of dulling the finish because he refuses to use a chair mat under his computer chair. Funny, he's usually Mr. Particular about these things, but I have asked him several times to get one and he won't. I got one the minute I noticed the effect the chairs were having on the floor.
So the carpet will fix Mr. Not-So-Particular! ROFL He will probably get a chair pad then because carpet makes the chair harder to roll. 
ha! Was he a good ex-husband? (nm)
x
My husband is usually pretty good but once in a while sm
he will forget and talk to me in a disrespectful way. When that happens, I sit him right down and say, "NOBODY talks to me that way, not even you." He knows I am serious. I once quit a job over the way the boss treated me and talked to me.
Because your husband has been getting away with this for a long time, it is going to be difficult to "retrain" him, so to speak. You will have to be firm, even sometimes to the point where you may feel like you are nagging.
The key is to stay very calm and matter-of-fact. Don't show any anger (even if you are boiling over with it) and don't let him draw you into an argument. Simply say, "I will be treated with respect. I will not allow anyone to speak to me in that tone of voice or to say those things to me. I treat you with respect, and I expect the same in return."
Good luck. I wish you all the best.
Unfortunately, Nancy is deceased. nm
x
The family of the deceased...
I have a strange question. To be quite honest, I have experienced very little death throughout my life. I know as I get older that will change, but I have been to 2 funerals. We recently had a very close friend die in a traumatic accident. He was 45 and left behind 5 children. The obituary states that "contributions can be made to the church." Where do these contributions go? Do they go to the family? toward funeral expenses?
Also, does anyone have any tips of what I can do for the family? I know sending cards is a good thing. Should I send one to each of the children as well as the wife? what about his siblings and parents? I live fairly far away from this family now and will not be able to make it back "home" for the funeral and I feel that I must do something! I would appreciate any suggestions.
Thanks in advance.
Why was the insurance to go to your deceased
brother's children? Was there a stipulation somewhere? Don't know everything about all the ins and outs, but beneficiaries listed on life insurance, CDs, etc. take precedence over a will. You can Google it. Unless there was some language 'if a child predeceases me, that child's shares of such and such will be equally divided between his/her surviving children and this is intended to supercede any listed beneficiaries on life insurance, etc. that may not have been changed on such' in the will, then I would think you would be the only beneficiary left anyway, and even if that language was in a will, still very difficult to override documented beneficiaries on that kind of stuff in a will. That is why it is SO important to be sure beneficiaries on life insurance, CDs, etc. are correct and updated if you want to spare people confusion and grief after you're gone.
your husband was a bad boy! Enjoy your well -earned, good days!...nm
nm
No sisters, 1 brother deceased, just me
NM
I might add that grandparents on paternal side are deceased so
only ones around are mine but that doesn't seem to matter to them.
How to split insurance with a deceased person?
My brother was dead. First I knew nothing of the insurance money. They got in touch with me. They gave me half and spent a year trying to find the children (2) of my deceased brother. After a year and they could not locate, they got in touch with me again and sent me the remainder. Any more questions?
um, what about deceased hubby family and $millions she was fighting for?
nm
Her mother is a selfish woman who wants nothing but her deceased daughter's money....
she was booed at her daugther's funeral because she tried to stop the whole thing, once again, while they were in the procession of going to the chapel...she is a horrid woman as far as i am concerned...i feel bad that she lost her daugther and grandson but other than that she can crawl back under the rock that she came out of...
a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now. 
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
Married?
I get the idea this guy might possibly be married and living with his wife in another city. If you continue to see him, 2 months is no time to clamp down on him to ask him about where the relationship is going. You sound as if the situation desperate. If not married on his part (I probably would check this out really good)you give a man plenty of rope. If they care for you, they will be there like a little puppy dog, if not then you have your answer. Again check for a license.....Living in another city, seeing you once a week, sounds really like a hmmmmmmm to me.
Are we married to the same man?...sm
Im stuck in the same situation pretty much. My husband does very little to help me in any way, shape, or form except when it suits him. I do the bills, most of the housework (he occasionally puts up dishes and sweeps the kitchen), all the child care (for 3), make all the phone calls, etc., everything. When I want to go somewhere there is always a big deal made...when he wants to go somewhere (even when I NEED him here so I can work if I get behind) he will go. I almost NEVER get out of the house without one or all children (if I get out)...when HE wants to go somewhere he does not want any of them to come. I think those so wondeful marriages are few. All I think about is leaving, but the kids....they love him. You cant work with someone when they wont work with you.
did she know how he was before she married him?
nm
I think we are married to the same man!!
Not only does my husband blow EVERYTHING way out of proportion, but he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder! I lie to my husband anytime there is an issue that I know will really upset him and his own mother backs me up b/c she knows how enraged he becomes. I too feel guilty but having peace in my home is far more important to me. He definately needs some counseling and probably a good anti-depressant. I think the tape recording idea is excellent and I have always wanted to try it myself. Maybe if we let them see how ridiculous they sound they will wake up to their behavior. I feel for you b/c I have been in the same boat for 9 years now. I just keep praying and keeping the faith that one day he will change.....before I have a nervous breakdown!!
Very much married but ....
my eyes know beauty when I see it!
We had 2 --- they were my DHs before we married - sm
The one was a pure-bred with champion lines, the other a puppy mill dog. As stated below they can live very long. The PB lived to about 14 before she got cancer and we put her to sleep when she got too sick; the other was 16 before she got sick too and had to be put to sleep when she got too sick too. The first one was a bit mean though, fine with adults but did not like kids to mess with her and would bite/nip if a kid got to close; luckily she never made contact but not for lack of trying. We had to muzzle her at the vet. Great watchdog though. The other one was quite a yapper and dumb as a stick but quite a sweet dog and very loving, ate everything in sight though and she ended up quite porky. Sweet dog though. They are good dogs and I would not mind having another some day.
If you are not married I don't think you can do that - sm
though I am not sure about that, but it makes sense. He could add any kids they had but not the ex-wife. (he would have to lie and say they were married I believe) Also if for some reason his job pays for it then he is getting off scot free, though there are probably not many jobs that pay for it in full now days (my DHs used to pay for it until about 2 years ago, and now we pay but only about $150 a month for a family of 4, so it is a steal, and very good insurance luckily). Personally I would not do it, he should just try to pony up and pay a little more each month to get current again (get a second job if he has to); $1K is not that far behind, what 2 months maybe? He can just work a little harder to pay her.
You married her son, right?
Then apparently her way of bringing up a child did not harm him, is that true or did you marry some dunce? I guess she might have a little sense- you have to re-educate her?
was it like this when you first married...
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