My daughter is currently attending a private
Posted By: see message on 2008-06-24
In Reply to: Private vs state college. - FL resident
college and she absolutely loves it. She just finished her freshman year. While she could have gone with full tuition to both state colleges, she chose the private school and with her grants/scholarships, etc. her dad and I are only paying about $2000 a year. Her school is so much smaller, the class sizes are approximately 15 to 20 students (if that many) and all the professors are very supportive and actually interested in all the students. She has told me there is no way she would go to a larger, public institution just because of the astmosphere. The entire campus is bascially just 1 big happy family.
It was an adjustment for her, but she had attended a state scholars program the year before, so she had lived away from home last summer, plus she is only 90 miles away from home now, so she basically comes home every weekend.
My daughter likes the school being small (it is smaller than her high school) and enjoys the family-like feel.
Whatever your daughter decides, I am sure she will be happy whereever she goes, but IMO the private college is the way to go. The private college my daugher attends is ranked in the top 10 liberal art colleges in the country, and she has been told that a diploma from there does more than just get your foot in the door for job interviews. I don't know about all of the private colleges, but where she is they do help with locating employment after college and have a 95% success rate with that to.
There is just more individual attention at a smaller school, which really helped her out with her freshman year which is a hard enough transition anyway.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Attending our first this weekend sm
since I was a little girl. We live in VA but are just across the state line from WV which is where I grew up. My DD is in her first horse show there this weekend. It is about 1 1/2 away. I am a nervous wreck for her already.
My child would not be attending...sm
That is utterly ridiculous. How is this acedemically relevent?
If you're attending each function, you bring a gift to each one. nm
b
private schools
No, it's not fair that you should have to pay for a private school, but that might just be what is best for your daughter. We decided 16 years ago that our 3 children would not go to public schools. We have spent a fortune over the years, but I do not regret it for an instant.
His profile may not be set to private. sm
Just set yourself up an account and look for him by e-mail addy. He shouldn't mind. The only one of my contacts that minded was my nephew and he deleted me, but he's weird like that.
Private counseling
Go to a private counselor yourself if he won't go. Some of these "ANONYMOUS" programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going "public" that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
I use it. I have everything private so only friends
that I approve can see my profile, and as far as personal info, my profile only shows my name and city.
The private school we're considering is ...sm
the one my daughter went to for pre-K and she liked it there then. I didn't send her there for kindergarten because I believe that public education should be educating kids. 3 of the 5 kids in the 1st grade at the private school are kids she went to pre-K with and she liked them - one was her best friend. The private school does have a good principal and they don't tolerate bad behavior for a second, and parents are called if their child misbehaves (been there, done that in pre-K!). Fortunately the tuition is reasonable and better than the other private schools in the area that have worse teacher ratios and nickel & dime you to death.
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.
Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.
Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.
GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
I guess that got past me but what does going to private
school have to do with this? Things that were in our past we have no control over. I live in the "deep south" and I am prejudiced, very much so, have always been, against thin women, healthy volumed hair ladies, people who do not like animals and my list goes on and on. I do think with all that happened in our deep south, you would not think we would have such an influx of blacks wanting to settle here and call it home, would you? Bad things can happen anywhere, anywhere.
private school answer.........sm
I think most private schools don't have to follow those govt innoculations things - I'm not sure, of course, but I seem to have heard something about that from parents who sent their children to private schools. I couldn't afford that back in the days.
As for the deep south....things have gotten better for the American blacks all throughout this country finally after 400+ years or thereabouts...........I look toward Atlanta, Georgia because it shows what I'm talking about. There are a tremendous amount of successful black Americans in Atlanta (not just in Atlanta either - Florida for one) and living in GREAT neighborhoods, buying expensive property and kudos to them.....I'm tolerant of everyone and everything in life except the intolerant and the extremists/terrorists and people who take advantage of others.....
wow. I never delved into her private life--sm
nor was I ever interested in it, but I had no idea she was that wealthy. Didn't she get divorced a few years back though? Wasn't her ex a judge, as well? maybe I am confusing her with someone else. Thanks for the info though. It is pretty interesting.
My calendar is in my private office and no one
else in the family even knows what it is for. My daughter will even mark the calendar if I haven't done it. Just last month she came in to count the days so she could make plans for an upcoming swimming party. Just so tired of the speculation that all teenage girls are sexully active. Believe it or not there are still some good girls out there.
Private vs state college.
My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college. She will be a transfer student from a community college. However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL (St. Pete campus).
Financially it's the same because with UT she is getting grants/scholarships for most of the tuition. At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures. We will have to take out loans for housing for either.
We are having extreme anxiety over this. Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere. It's on the bay and looks to be much more laid back than UT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa.
There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya'll would get very bored. But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment. We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed. I just want her to have the best experience possible. In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better. Also, she is having a problem with turning down the grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting for a state school.
Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol)
I'm just wondering if private is all it's cracked up to be? I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two!
One more thing... she's a huge baseball fan... Rays fan... St. Pete campus is 2 miles from the stadium... Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing?
And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.
I realize this is a private matter, but
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that. However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him.
Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car. Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out.
If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.
That is what stinks about private schools - sm
my kids used to attend private school, one reason I pulled them out was this one girl who bullied everyone, she was allowed to hurt kids, over and over again because the school wanted the tuition money and the father donated thousands of dollars in money, time, and construction labor to the school, and they were constantly "giving" things just so their daughter would not get kicked out. After trying to stangle someone the parents were finally told they had to get the girl some help and now she is on medication, but it took 4 years before the school did anything. The girl is still there, friendless basically, all the kids in her class cannot stand her, and she is just a pain in general. It is very sad in a way, if the parents had gotten her help a lot sooner she probably would not have allienated all the kids in her class (20 or so).
Sounds like a private investigator name!
I just pulled mine out of private school - sm
It's not all that it is cracked up to be. Our one local one that is not affliated with a church is $6K a year per kid (we have 2), plus an extra $100 a month they squeeze out of you for all sorts of stuff. The other schools in town were half the price but all were church schools which we did not want. So that is an aspect you need to look into if you chose to go private. Also the quality of the teachers, are they all certified, etc. We had a headmaster that lied to the parents and the schoolboard on a regular basis, last year he raised tuition $400 a kid, and shortly after that about 7 teachers/aids quit for various reasons, and in all this I dug up a ton of dirt and things behind the scenes that totally stunk, hence kids now go to public school. Class size is the same for us (19) and the discipline is so much better at the public school. A girl in my one daughter's former class is the class bully and at least once a year tries to choke another classmate, has she ever been suspended? NO. Has she ever been expelled? NO. 2 reasons, they school wants the money no matter what, and the kid's mother is an alumni. So not all kids at private school are well behaved angels. They expect a lot from the kids, but I think this particular school is overpriced unfortunately. ------my other daughter is also in 1st grade. She is struggling terribly in reading, though I take blame for some of that as I am very guilty of not reading to her on a regular basis. I am trying to get better at this, and her teacher at school reads with the kids one-on-one to check on their status. My daughter is slowly improving through her and my efforts. On every other level she is average. She cannot add in her head as yet, but I think that is a little advanced for a 6-y/o. She can do simple math on paper and is doing fine with that. ---If you chose to keep her in the public school (and I would because they have lots of resources that most private schools do not have, our private school had no special services at all despite the high tuition), pick up the slack at home, work on whatever subject she is weak on every night for 15 minutes. I do this with my 8-y/o in 3rd grade math, which is her weak subject, and it has made a huge difference. I am also reading with my other daughter at least 3 x a week (need to do 5 though) and it has helped a lot now. Reading a simple 12 page book used to take 45 mintues, now we can do it in about 10-15. --- It is hard to fit this into my schedule but I know I have to do it so they will improve and eventually excel. You just need to figure out what you daughter needs to do, what you need to do to help her reach that goal, go slow though and don't set the bar so high that she will never reach it.
My children have all gone to the private school through our church
anti christian or something, but I really don't know. I believe, perhaps, what the poster meant is that teachers who work in private church operated school settings do so because it is their ministry or calling by God. For me, knowing that my child is in a setting where the teacher loves God, children, and teaching is comforting to me.
Business owners are usually private citizens
and as such have right of refusal - I sure did when we had our own business. If you see a potential problem you want to get it back out that door pronto. Maybe the owner knew his clientele would not stand for OJ sitting in the restaurant and being served, etc., and believe that is his choice, his call. If he has other patrons of different races, religions, etc., can't see he would be concerned about a law suit. This is not even a religious matter or sexual discrimination - which is protected by law - OJ is hated still by many - his problem.
And he'd know all about her private business/health issues, too,
s
Just some pros and cons of private college
Pros
Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work.
Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college.
Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture.
Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students.
Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in.
Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students.
Cons
Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren’t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It’s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator.
Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It’s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object—go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt.
Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn’t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
well, I think it's more charter or Montessori type schools than private.
/
To be clear, if you email through MTStars your information is private.
This had been an issue brought up in the past and I have tried to explain that we do not see your emails. The only email content we see are any emails that come from offshore IP addresses and that is because we do not allow solicitation by direct offshore services.
But he "FOUND" it in private property! Ludicrous reasoning. nm
mm
Should smoking ONLY be allowed in private single family homes
March 14, 2007— Dozens packed the Belmont (California) city council chambers tonight for the first public airing of a new smoking ban proposal.
The law would give Belmont the toughest smoking ban in the nation — possibly in the world.
The crackdown aims to curb the harmful effects of second-hand smoke by preventing puffs not just in parks and around public buildings — but in private apartments and city streets as well. If the law passes, the only places left in Belmont to smoke would be single family homes and private cars.
Mayor Coralin Feierbach says the proposal was made to protect residents who suffer from health problems aggravated by smoke.The council didn't take action tonight. It's just the first of several meetings to discuss the proposal.
Also didn't mention the money issue at the party, just in private to her (nm)
x
Very dusty, we live on a private dirt /gravel road - sm
have a dirt/gravel driveway )very short). Dust just seems to seep through somehow. House was built in 1989. I hate to clean so that does not help, and lots of stuff/clutter here for it to accumulate on. Need to just empty the house and bring back in only a few things and sell the rest. Would make such a difference.
How do you feel about toddlers being taught to call their private parts
a v*gina and a peni$ ? Just wondering
you have to realize too that a private schools also get those who are kicked out of public schools t
have a friend who is a teacher at private school who passed along this info so don't flame me,LOL.
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
It was a private nurse that found her - was the nurse - sm
hers or the baby's? Why have a private nurse in the first place? Seems a bit odd.
Yay for your daughter!
Glad to hear it!
My daughter did twice...sm
and everything did turn out okay. She was very concerned and upset of course but her doc was very positive with her, explaining that there are a lot of false-positives for some reason or another. Good luck to you and try not to worry. I know that is easier said than done though!
Yes, with my first daughter. sm
The test results were actually quite bad. I worked at a doctors office at the time and had the blood drawn there. When the results came in from the lab the four family docs I worked for called my OB and all five had a sit down, serious talk with me. I was extremely frightened, but knew I wouldnt do anything drastic if it was truely Downs. My daughter turned out 100% fine. No Downs. Nothing. With my next two daughters I skipped the test all together. I knew I would never terminate due to Downs, so I left it in Gods hands and skipped that part of testing. All three of mine are fine. That test has too many false results.
My daughter is trying to get me to try
Of course, she is a little thing, but she teaches at a high-stress school, and at the end of the day, she loves to go there. She has gained a lot of muscle which she likes and upper body strength, which she definitely needs. I need to give that a try.
I just went through this w/my daughter...
and yes what is attached is definitely alive. You need to get the small comb that comes with the lice kits and VERY THOROUGHLY comb through all the hair to get the remaining eggs out. If you leave even one egg it will hatch and start the process all over again. My daughter has long hair and I combed it daily, at least an hour at a time. After 10 days, use the lice shampoo again to be sure.
Get the same from my daughter-in-law
all the time, just delete them, just pro-war for nothing and not me.
My 12 YO daughter
I just had to brag about my 12 YO daughter. She and I moved into a new apartment a few months ago. A mentally retarded man, in his 50s, lives down the road. Most 12-13 YO kids won't be associated, or seen, with a retarded man....my daughter is different.
My daughter and I were outside playing catch last night when this man stopped over. She asked him to join us. He played with us for a couple of hours. She was patient, kind, compassionate and understanding.
I truly have an angel for a daughter.
P.S. On a side note, I did tell her I didn't want her to be with him when I wasn't around, etc....for safety reasons.
If that were my daughter.......
I would have marched up in that house and knocked him for a loop!!! I have three daughters and although they are still young I can't imagine anyone ever mistreating them!! As a mother, I can only imagine the heartache you feel for your child!! Thank God she is able to get out now b/c he sounds like a potentially violent person. If I were her, I would never look back and I would make his parents aware of his abusive and neglectful treatment even if they don't want to hear it!!!
My daughter has 1 and I
know she does not have this behavior out of hers- she has had hers for say about 2-3 years and he does little crazy things like snap at the air (nothing there), very loving pet.
daughter
My daughter works at a daycare and they are having an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease. Pretty contagious from what I gather. I'm not sure what kind of treatment, if any, is necessary. Unless she seems really ill, I think you can probably wait until tomorrow and call your pediatrician.
The daughter is 7. nm
!
what my daughter does
is 1) wait until they show readiness, 2) try to anticipate, and encourage a run to the potty,giggling all the way, and 3) makes it fun with lots of praise, and then when they are successful, she gives them 1 M&M. I know some will scream this is wrong to reward with food, but i doubt this will create big problems. My husband used to let the kids run around the house with no britches on and they were much more inclined to want to go to the potty -- but that really depends on their environment too...and personally, i don't think 2 is too soon for some kids, but it certainly is for others.
When my daughter was 13
she had her first period in August as well. (The day before school started....aahhhggg!) She did exactly what your daughter has done, nothing in Sept. and then every month since. She is now 14. Just a hint that you probably don't need, I keep a calender on my desk and put a "K" on it each month when she starts so I never have to wonder. Trust me, we all know in this house when it happens for her each month LOL!
daughter having sex
I understand where you are coming from to some degree. Kids nowadays are more worred about and active in sex than we were; however as a parent of a teenager and understanding that this can be an emotional time for you, I have to ask. Are you really this freaked out about her sex life because she is having sex, or because of who it is with? Yes, you may not like this guy but how long do you want her to stay with him? This hissy fit of yours will only cement her with him. Keeping quiet about him and making sure that your daughter realizes that BCPs are not enough protection for what is out there would be a really good place to start. I have discovered with my own kids that sometimes just letting them see people as they really are ends relationships that I disapprove a lot faster than nagging. None of us wants to realize that our children are growing up and making their own choices but they do and are. We have to hold on to the hope and knowledge that we raised them correctly. I think we all can say that we did things that we regret and that they were/are only made worse by over-reacting parents. BTW, that age old saying about if they want to have sex they will, really does apply and do you really want to lose your daughter over some guy?
I do have to agree also with the comment about you and your hubby raising a child...WHAT are you thinking? If you don't want her to "give up her life" because of a baby and she is on the pill, then I suggest you make sure that she is well aware of the other options. You will not be teaching her anything by allowing her have a baby and then raising it yourself. I know that I sat my child down and explained things in that we have "been there/done that."as well as the fact that we will not be paying child support for a child (I have two boys).
Yes, realizing that your "baby" is growing up is hard, but come on get a grip. She is 17 not 12 and you had to know this was coming especially if you have an older child. She is having sex, not as protected as you would want, not with someone you think is good enough, BUT she is not dead/ dying nor has she run away, right? There are way worse things out there to worry about then the fact that your daughter made a bad chose in who she wanted to have sex with. Help her with the proper protection, make sure the lines of communication are open and pray for her safety and your sanity!
Again, what really (other than your daughter)
gives you the right to insist?? I do not see where you have a leg to stand on. You are upset but not thinking things through- you only have control over your own self- not your daughter, not anyone in your family and really not this guy. I read your post yesterday and I understood when you talked about what you would like for him to do but insisting? He would have to be a wuss to go along with that and being as he has this criminal history behind him, does not sound like he would be pushed into much of anything. Why don’t you get some advice from a lawyer before letting anyone else know about the information you have gotten. Probably a good idea.
daughter
Good luck to you! As a mother of 4 I totally understand why you did this as I would probably do the same. I in a way understand why they consider this a weapon because if she ever got in a fight and decided to use it etc. I am sure your daughter is smarter than that but you know how they think. Maybe somehow you can work it out with the school that she can drop the keychain off to them in the office in the a.m. and be able to pick it back up before she leaves. That way she still has protection when she gets off the bus. WISH YOU LUCK!
My daughter has had 2 out of the 3
And she didn't have to have a Pap.
How old is your daughter and how
many children does she have? Does she work?
|
