I realize this is a private matter, but
Posted By: diddlydee on 2008-08-24
In Reply to: thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm -
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that. However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him.
Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car. Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out.
If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.
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you have to realize too that a private schools also get those who are kicked out of public schools t
have a friend who is a teacher at private school who passed along this info so don't flame me,LOL.
private schools
No, it's not fair that you should have to pay for a private school, but that might just be what is best for your daughter. We decided 16 years ago that our 3 children would not go to public schools. We have spent a fortune over the years, but I do not regret it for an instant.
His profile may not be set to private. sm
Just set yourself up an account and look for him by e-mail addy. He shouldn't mind. The only one of my contacts that minded was my nephew and he deleted me, but he's weird like that.
Private counseling
Go to a private counselor yourself if he won't go. Some of these "ANONYMOUS" programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going "public" that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
I use it. I have everything private so only friends
that I approve can see my profile, and as far as personal info, my profile only shows my name and city.
The private school we're considering is ...sm
the one my daughter went to for pre-K and she liked it there then. I didn't send her there for kindergarten because I believe that public education should be educating kids. 3 of the 5 kids in the 1st grade at the private school are kids she went to pre-K with and she liked them - one was her best friend. The private school does have a good principal and they don't tolerate bad behavior for a second, and parents are called if their child misbehaves (been there, done that in pre-K!). Fortunately the tuition is reasonable and better than the other private schools in the area that have worse teacher ratios and nickel & dime you to death.
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.
Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.
Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.
GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
I guess that got past me but what does going to private
school have to do with this? Things that were in our past we have no control over. I live in the "deep south" and I am prejudiced, very much so, have always been, against thin women, healthy volumed hair ladies, people who do not like animals and my list goes on and on. I do think with all that happened in our deep south, you would not think we would have such an influx of blacks wanting to settle here and call it home, would you? Bad things can happen anywhere, anywhere.
private school answer.........sm
I think most private schools don't have to follow those govt innoculations things - I'm not sure, of course, but I seem to have heard something about that from parents who sent their children to private schools. I couldn't afford that back in the days.
As for the deep south....things have gotten better for the American blacks all throughout this country finally after 400+ years or thereabouts...........I look toward Atlanta, Georgia because it shows what I'm talking about. There are a tremendous amount of successful black Americans in Atlanta (not just in Atlanta either - Florida for one) and living in GREAT neighborhoods, buying expensive property and kudos to them.....I'm tolerant of everyone and everything in life except the intolerant and the extremists/terrorists and people who take advantage of others.....
wow. I never delved into her private life--sm
nor was I ever interested in it, but I had no idea she was that wealthy. Didn't she get divorced a few years back though? Wasn't her ex a judge, as well? maybe I am confusing her with someone else. Thanks for the info though. It is pretty interesting.
My calendar is in my private office and no one
else in the family even knows what it is for. My daughter will even mark the calendar if I haven't done it. Just last month she came in to count the days so she could make plans for an upcoming swimming party. Just so tired of the speculation that all teenage girls are sexully active. Believe it or not there are still some good girls out there.
Private vs state college.
My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college. She will be a transfer student from a community college. However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL (St. Pete campus).
Financially it's the same because with UT she is getting grants/scholarships for most of the tuition. At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures. We will have to take out loans for housing for either.
We are having extreme anxiety over this. Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere. It's on the bay and looks to be much more laid back than UT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa.
There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya'll would get very bored. But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment. We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed. I just want her to have the best experience possible. In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better. Also, she is having a problem with turning down the grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting for a state school.
Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol)
I'm just wondering if private is all it's cracked up to be? I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two!
One more thing... she's a huge baseball fan... Rays fan... St. Pete campus is 2 miles from the stadium... Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing?
And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.
My daughter is currently attending a private
college and she absolutely loves it. She just finished her freshman year. While she could have gone with full tuition to both state colleges, she chose the private school and with her grants/scholarships, etc. her dad and I are only paying about $2000 a year. Her school is so much smaller, the class sizes are approximately 15 to 20 students (if that many) and all the professors are very supportive and actually interested in all the students. She has told me there is no way she would go to a larger, public institution just because of the astmosphere. The entire campus is bascially just 1 big happy family.
It was an adjustment for her, but she had attended a state scholars program the year before, so she had lived away from home last summer, plus she is only 90 miles away from home now, so she basically comes home every weekend.
My daughter likes the school being small (it is smaller than her high school) and enjoys the family-like feel.
Whatever your daughter decides, I am sure she will be happy whereever she goes, but IMO the private college is the way to go. The private college my daugher attends is ranked in the top 10 liberal art colleges in the country, and she has been told that a diploma from there does more than just get your foot in the door for job interviews. I don't know about all of the private colleges, but where she is they do help with locating employment after college and have a 95% success rate with that to.
There is just more individual attention at a smaller school, which really helped her out with her freshman year which is a hard enough transition anyway.
That is what stinks about private schools - sm
my kids used to attend private school, one reason I pulled them out was this one girl who bullied everyone, she was allowed to hurt kids, over and over again because the school wanted the tuition money and the father donated thousands of dollars in money, time, and construction labor to the school, and they were constantly "giving" things just so their daughter would not get kicked out. After trying to stangle someone the parents were finally told they had to get the girl some help and now she is on medication, but it took 4 years before the school did anything. The girl is still there, friendless basically, all the kids in her class cannot stand her, and she is just a pain in general. It is very sad in a way, if the parents had gotten her help a lot sooner she probably would not have allienated all the kids in her class (20 or so).
Sounds like a private investigator name!
Maybe they do, and you just don't realize that's what it is??
nm
Of course I realize that, but
Nonetheless, she looked great! I was surprised to see her showing off her "new body", but looks like maybe just a hoax? Whatta waste of a lives these young Hollywood's are...
I think you need to realize
your feelings are about a fantasy, not about a real relationship. He himself has already given you information that when it is over it is over. He obviously does not share your feelings. He can treat you very well but it is e-mail. In real life he has gas, stinky feet, cranky moods like everyone. Older men and younger women is a dangerous situation. They enjoy your adoration but don't return it. It is difficult but the longer you go the more you will be hurt and the more of your life you will waste on a fantasy. Remember when you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a young teen and felt like it was true love and would never end? It is about the same thing. I don't judge you -- I have had experiences that I look back on now and see what time I wasted and regret that I could have focused on other things in my life. I hope you don't do the same.
So, what if you realize you
have an unstable dog, but you realize it because the first unprovoked attack was a deadly one? Too late.
I think you are being irresponsible if you ever let anyone step foot in your house if it causes your dog to feel anxious. You are tempting fate, my friend.
I would not even realize if it were my
DH but the OP is having a problem with it, she probably thinks he is talking with someone he does not want her to know about, that is the problem.
I just pulled mine out of private school - sm
It's not all that it is cracked up to be. Our one local one that is not affliated with a church is $6K a year per kid (we have 2), plus an extra $100 a month they squeeze out of you for all sorts of stuff. The other schools in town were half the price but all were church schools which we did not want. So that is an aspect you need to look into if you chose to go private. Also the quality of the teachers, are they all certified, etc. We had a headmaster that lied to the parents and the schoolboard on a regular basis, last year he raised tuition $400 a kid, and shortly after that about 7 teachers/aids quit for various reasons, and in all this I dug up a ton of dirt and things behind the scenes that totally stunk, hence kids now go to public school. Class size is the same for us (19) and the discipline is so much better at the public school. A girl in my one daughter's former class is the class bully and at least once a year tries to choke another classmate, has she ever been suspended? NO. Has she ever been expelled? NO. 2 reasons, they school wants the money no matter what, and the kid's mother is an alumni. So not all kids at private school are well behaved angels. They expect a lot from the kids, but I think this particular school is overpriced unfortunately. ------my other daughter is also in 1st grade. She is struggling terribly in reading, though I take blame for some of that as I am very guilty of not reading to her on a regular basis. I am trying to get better at this, and her teacher at school reads with the kids one-on-one to check on their status. My daughter is slowly improving through her and my efforts. On every other level she is average. She cannot add in her head as yet, but I think that is a little advanced for a 6-y/o. She can do simple math on paper and is doing fine with that. ---If you chose to keep her in the public school (and I would because they have lots of resources that most private schools do not have, our private school had no special services at all despite the high tuition), pick up the slack at home, work on whatever subject she is weak on every night for 15 minutes. I do this with my 8-y/o in 3rd grade math, which is her weak subject, and it has made a huge difference. I am also reading with my other daughter at least 3 x a week (need to do 5 though) and it has helped a lot now. Reading a simple 12 page book used to take 45 mintues, now we can do it in about 10-15. --- It is hard to fit this into my schedule but I know I have to do it so they will improve and eventually excel. You just need to figure out what you daughter needs to do, what you need to do to help her reach that goal, go slow though and don't set the bar so high that she will never reach it.
My children have all gone to the private school through our church
anti christian or something, but I really don't know. I believe, perhaps, what the poster meant is that teachers who work in private church operated school settings do so because it is their ministry or calling by God. For me, knowing that my child is in a setting where the teacher loves God, children, and teaching is comforting to me.
Business owners are usually private citizens
and as such have right of refusal - I sure did when we had our own business. If you see a potential problem you want to get it back out that door pronto. Maybe the owner knew his clientele would not stand for OJ sitting in the restaurant and being served, etc., and believe that is his choice, his call. If he has other patrons of different races, religions, etc., can't see he would be concerned about a law suit. This is not even a religious matter or sexual discrimination - which is protected by law - OJ is hated still by many - his problem.
And he'd know all about her private business/health issues, too,
s
Just some pros and cons of private college
Pros
Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work.
Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college.
Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture.
Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students.
Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in.
Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students.
Cons
Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren’t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It’s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator.
Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It’s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object—go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt.
Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn’t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.
Wow, I didn't realize
Just how lucky I was. My husband bought me wonderful Christmas presents everything that I could definitely use and want. He's a wonderful person and helps with the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, doing just about anything and everything around the house. I couldn't ask for someone better. I didn't realize just how much I had until I read some of these posts.
Maybe they realize their matriarch has gone
Its usually the case that "grandma" keeps the extended family together. It happened when my grandma died, and will happen again on a smaller scale when my mother dies. She's the one they all kept in contact with, the one that knew where everybody went and what they're up to. Talking to her you got to hear about the whole family (whether you felt like it or not). So now she's gone, people will drift off, lose touch, stop having big family gatherings with her at the center. Kiss half your cousins goodbye, because by the next funeral, nobody will know how to get in touch with them any more. I'd say they're mourning for the family in general, because things will probably never be the same again with the center gone.
I didn't realize that either!
Guess I assumed when wal-mart stopped so would everyone else. Well, for now I will still boycott K-mart but when it gets closer I will go there for some kids toys and that's probably it.
I realize you just can't back off now.
Carefree & happy? Relatively speaking, sure. But "proud" isn't how I would describe feeling about that.
I've done plenty of therapy in my life, thanks, but it was unrelated to the above issue.
If you stop attacking me publicly now, you will just lose too much face, so go ahead, take your best shot. After this last post I wondered: What would make this person satisfied? That I be bent & suffering with remorse & guilt? Would you feel better then? Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. I simply feel okay about my past, so I can't help you there. I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you feel better. I think you should work on feeling more forgiving of yourself for decisions you've made in your past, & then you will not feel the need to attack others for the mistakes you yourself have made.
I hope this gives you more than just a giggle, & rather than pollute the board with any more of your mouthings, I'd rather have you contact me directly at my e-mail address if you really think there is more you need to get off your chest. But I doubt you will do this because of the element of performance there is to your posts, & I doubt it will help because I would just be a substitute for you. At any rate, you are welcome to e-mail me.
I think it is important to realize that...
the world does not revolve around us. If there is not a huge amount of fighting or abuse of some sort, why should she deprive her children of their father. Often, I think children say what their parents want to hear about the other parent. My 33-year-old brother still does. There are worse things than waking up and going to bed with a person whom you do not love. And - I bet that if she tried, she could still find something she does love about him. I really think that society has made divorce to acceptable. There is just no incentive to stick it out through the tough times that everyone has.
That is good that you realize that though...
some people don't realize that until after they have kids and then their children suffer because of it...Good for you for not wanting to bring a child into the world knowing it may have special needs as well...I applaud that...I love my two children but definitely do not want any more--lol
well, I think it's more charter or Montessori type schools than private.
/
To be clear, if you email through MTStars your information is private.
This had been an issue brought up in the past and I have tried to explain that we do not see your emails. The only email content we see are any emails that come from offshore IP addresses and that is because we do not allow solicitation by direct offshore services.
But he "FOUND" it in private property! Ludicrous reasoning. nm
mm
Should smoking ONLY be allowed in private single family homes
March 14, 2007— Dozens packed the Belmont (California) city council chambers tonight for the first public airing of a new smoking ban proposal.
The law would give Belmont the toughest smoking ban in the nation — possibly in the world.
The crackdown aims to curb the harmful effects of second-hand smoke by preventing puffs not just in parks and around public buildings — but in private apartments and city streets as well. If the law passes, the only places left in Belmont to smoke would be single family homes and private cars.
Mayor Coralin Feierbach says the proposal was made to protect residents who suffer from health problems aggravated by smoke.The council didn't take action tonight. It's just the first of several meetings to discuss the proposal.
Also didn't mention the money issue at the party, just in private to her (nm)
x
Very dusty, we live on a private dirt /gravel road - sm
have a dirt/gravel driveway )very short). Dust just seems to seep through somehow. House was built in 1989. I hate to clean so that does not help, and lots of stuff/clutter here for it to accumulate on. Need to just empty the house and bring back in only a few things and sell the rest. Would make such a difference.
How do you feel about toddlers being taught to call their private parts
a v*gina and a peni$ ? Just wondering
After reading all of these posts, I realize
How lucky I am!
My ex, and my hubby's ex, were both people who always needed to be in a crisis...and if there was none, they'd create it.
Luckily, after we'd both divorced we found each other. We have a peaceful life, and my inlaws and his inlaws are all great people and it's a joy and great fun when we get together.
I give thanks to God for my good fortune!
Sorry, didn't realize she used that name. My apologies.
x
It sounds like he just doesn't realize sm
that you would love for him to call you first. I don't care how many hints you drop, men just don't realize certain things unless we flat out tell them. Have been married almost 20 years to a wonderful man, but sometimes he still just doesn't get it. It is very true that "we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, boys are st*pid" LOL
ok, sorry-I didn't realize you don't work for them...
You do realize that with Katrina damage
At least in Mississippi and Lousiana part....they may have rebuilt some hotels but the surrounding locality looks like a war zone; most of the boat docks and walking/fishing piers were completely destroyed and probably haven't been rebuilt, and many of the cute local beach restaurants are gone. It might be educational re Katrina damage if that's what you're after...but it's not what I'd call a happy place to vacation at this time.
To GF: Do you realize that the all caps is yelling?
I think you should realize that first before you get upset with everyone here.
You are yelling through your all cap typing.
guess I didn't realize they were that
much bigger - definitely have not had one then. I have read several articles about the nuthatches saying that they are occasional visitors very far south but this year reports are that there are large groups going way out of there range - apparently conifer forests didn't do well in the north. My little slate colored juncos (snow birds) are here with the snow flurries this morning.
You're right.... kids have to realize they have....sm
to be responsible and adults shouldn't be held to bail them out all of the time.
Why should an adult give up their money because a teenager was irresponsible?
I didn't realize K Mart still had Lay away!
I always loved Lay Away. You could shop and know you got what you needed and save up for it. Yes, the year Walmart did away with Lay away everybody around these parts were really upset. Most people who do lay away do so so they can use cash and not credit. Uggg. Credit. Wish I never heard of a credit card. But that's another story for another day. LOL.
Maybe they had so many kids they didn't realize til now he was gone
What is wrong with people. You have a missing kid you report it!
Reminds me of that movie Home alone.
She was a stray. I did not realize she did not belong to anyone
until after she was pregnant. We adopted her or she adopted us. I do plan on getting her fixed.
Wow. I didn't realize the response I was going to receive. Let me all tell you a little sm
something about me (for a change).
I am a very intimate, romantic, sexual (close your eyes if this is offensive), kind of gal. Seriously. My mother always told me I was a "hopeless romantic!" One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, for crying out loud. For years, I would shop in the lingerie dept. at various dept. stores, even buying things from Victoria's Secret, mind you. But if there is one thing my husband has done to me over the years is help me to completely lose interest in intimacy and now, sex. He doesn't listen to me, doesn't compliment me, doesn't touch me at all during the day. It's saddened me so much over the past few years. If we meet up after work he'll just go on about his business, not reaching to give me a kiss, ask me about my day, nothing.
The fact that he approached me the other night was actually surprising. Yes, he's trying. But what is a woman to do when after so many years of neglect? Jump at him? Tackle him? I can't. I simply can't. I'm suffering from low self worth as it is due to his lack of communicating any kind of affection or concern to me. I don't know how to gain it back. I don't know how to get back that spark. It's not there. It saddens me so much, but it's true.
So, give me a little more credit.
Ms. Manners, maybe you need to come up with the times and realize that not everything in this world
anymore, but people do what they do to be happy in this world. You should try it, you might like it.
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