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Not where I live, 30 years to life?

Posted By: Nola on 2009-02-08
In Reply to: In second grade, she would have been 7 yrs old. Of course, - now she would be serving 30 to life.

Most do not even get 30 years for a murder.


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LIVE YOUR LIFE

Dear Sadgirl--three words for you....LIVE YOUR LIFE.  You have allowed this man to take control of your life.  Stop obsessing and develop relationships with people who will give back.  Surely there are people in your life who you can talk with, spend time with, laugh with, cry with, live your life with!  Life is so precious, time passes by so quickly.  Stop wasting another minute of your life!  Just like any other addiction, this unhealthy relationship will be difficult to break.  Begin by staying away from the temptation.  Keep your mind busy on other things and be with people as much as possible.  And most importantly, talk to your pastor or a counselor about this.  He will help you overcome.  There is much more to your life than living for a few stolen moments with someone you can't have a future with.  YOUR LIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU!  LIVE IT!


seriously, go live your life, before he drags you down.
nm
I don’t care how you live your life, just don’t want to pay for your mistakes
I think I have made my point.
...and be happy! Still lots of life left to live
s
Life is too short to live it in fear. I'd rather sleep in my car -sm
than with someone who mistreated me either physically, OR 'just' psychologically. And even if the kids don't actually see anything happening, you better believe they're still picking up on the bad vibes.

The fact that he mentions killing HIMSELF, in addition to you, is a major red flag. If a person reaches a point where they actually talk about doing something, they're alot closer to doing it than when they were just thinking it to themselves.

Guns in the house. (Guns, pleural!) Not good. I'd have insisted those be gone before the wedding day, myself. (Haha - it'd be in the prenuptial agreement that I'd never get married without!)

Anyway, living in fear for the sake of the greater financial 'security' of having 2 incomes is no security at all, in my book. It's a huge sacrifice of your freedom, peace of mind, & safety. The greatest security you can give yourself or the kids is finding a way to provide for yourselves WITHOUT the 'help' of an abuser.
That I could live the rest of my life in a 25-year-old body.
.
If the mom was so bad, why did ANS let her raise Daniel for the first 6-7 years of his life?
x
Me either...31 years now! Life's too short to be uncomfy!
x
Siberian huskies have a life expectancy of 12-15 years.
One of my Siberians did die of a brain tumor recently at age 7. I do use Frontline here in NC. I am more suspicious of chemicals to treat lawns and gardens, however.
I have been living that life for the last 2 years. Very familiar story. SM

I have two kids at home and a baby on the way.  My husband keeps gettign laid of jobs due to slow business  Just got word that after Christmas he will be laid off again.  As it is, we can barely afford to feed the family... so dont know what we will do come January when we lose his income.


There are no jobs for him to apply to.  We do not qualify for unemployment for some reason....


And its not like we are lazy or bad people.  All we do is work.  I work 3 different jobs for 3 different MT companies.  I wake up 2 hours before the kids go to school, work while they are in school, and even have to make up soem time at nigth when everyone is sleeping.  That in addition to my husband's job...  we can barely, and I mean barely make it...


Then I spend the rest of my free time cleaning the house, doing dishes, laundry, errands, bills, homework with the kids.  Im pregnant and should be getting more rest.  HA!!  What a joke.


And I know all about the bank fees.  We pay probably 100-200 a month in fees becuase when you live paycheck to paycheck it is just something that happens..  Sorry folks...  Its not about being good a balancing your checkbook... not in these times.  We have to play russian roulette with the monies sometimes.


My husband and myself do not have insurnace.  I do now through Medicade because I am pregnant.  We were hoping to drop the Medicaid when my husband's insurance kicked in... but he got laid off before that happened.  My kids have CHIP, so that is good...  But I am down to my last pair of contacts and I havent taken them out in 2 months because I do not have the extra 100 dollars to make an appt and then 50 for the contacts.


The school hits us up for $$$ every week for this, that, and the other thing... which all that does is take food off our plates.  If one of my kids loses a shoe or needs a winter jacket, etc.... it puts us out.


Not to mention on top of all of that...  My brother-in-law was in a car accident in a car he bought from my husband, but never took the time to put it in his name, and now it is back on us.  We have 30 days to come up with 4000 dollars or my they take my husband's license away.  Sounds crazy huh?  Lawyers say they cannot do that... but they say they can...(the insurance company), but who has money to pay the lawyer for the help??  Not us.


I could go on and on and on and on and on and on.. LIke how it is Christmas, which is hard enough, but on Dec 31st it is my daughter's b-day and then just 3 weeks later it is my other daughter's birthday...  How I am going to give them a nice birthday is beyond me...


Anyway, you are not alone!!!!!  Of course I have never thought about suicide.  That is not an option for me and I cant imagine ever would be... 


If you think that way, you need some medication and therapy real quick!!!!!!  Other than that, what is the worst that can happen?  There has got to be help somewhere... food stamps???  I am going to look into them myself...  I might have to skip on paying rent this month...  and hope the landlord understands... 


Come January 20th, I hope some good things start to happen and we can be on the road to a brighter future... but until then... we have to ride it out somehow.  How, I dont know.  I just take every day at a time... 


And this morning, I cried during my first hour of typing... Typing through the tears.. so you are not alone there either.


You are right, Misha. They can live up to 20 years and are (sm)

just darling. One came in second at a dog show I attended in April in the Nonsporting Group and I nearly fell out of my chair!  Screamed so loud I was hoarse the next day as the captain ran the ring!  No wonder they used this great little watch dog originally on barges. If the Scottish Deerhoud would have won that night they would have carried me out!



My vet said that parvo can live in your soil for up to 7 years.

Also that puppies have a lot of the antibodies in their system from their mothers for a couple of months after birth and that if the parvo immunization is given to early, it can be ineffective because of that. 


Also, fleas can spread parvo as well, which my new puppy did get fleas right before she got sick.  I try to treat fleas quickly, but I guess I may not have caught them quick enough.


We loved our piggies, too, and they live for several years if you're lucky. Find
s
What is sadder is the grandparents live in a small home, 3 bedroom, and filed bankruptcy 2 years ago
nm
Hear about your perverted sex life along with the perverted 6 years nursing
heavens no. You act like you hold a title for the biggest tits, the longest nursing animal and the x-rated queen of sex, why would any of us on this board care- I am sure lots could give you a run for your money if you catch my drift. Only a person who is very dissatisfied with their sex life would want to boast about how perfect theirs is. You tell me a lot about what kind of life you actually live and it is rather pitiful. Sorry for your plight.
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm

I have a dilemma.  I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about.  At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food.  This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed.  I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him.  Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him.  Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would  never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously).  I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety.  I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care.  At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment.  Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold?  I know there are lots of animal lovers out there.  What does everyone think?? 


I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line

after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn.  I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT!  My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away! 


I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working.  They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning.  That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid.  I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed.  I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died.  The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside.  I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up.  We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.


Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down.  It is war!   


  (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)


 


Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
My husband is 7.5 years younger. Been together almost 20 happy years...nm
nm
My feelings; people shacking up together for years and years
and then all of a sudden deciding to get married don't need a thing, obviously. A shower should not even be given. I lived with my now husband a while (nowadays who doesn't!) before we married and I also had been married before years ago but he was not....so of course HIS mom wanted a shower. I told her absolutely not unless it was just the immediate family, his mom, sisters, etc, more like a celebration/get together. And so that's what we did. Showers are tacky, period. Unless it's a couple of young kids getting married straight out of the house and that doesn't happen much anymore.
Where do you live?? I live in Atlanta
and have been to the symphony here and definitely no hats- you can never go wrong with black dress/slacks. I like to dress a little more for this but the rules are definitely not prim and proper here.
I come from the old school, but live and let live - sm
Well, I tried "cohabitating" with a boyfriend when I was 22. We dated for a year, and 3 weeks after we moved in together, he went back to his ex-wife. Never again. I've been married 18 years now to the same guy. Guess I lucked out.

I don't think it's right to do in a biblical sense (even felt that way when I moved in with a guy but my young hormones took over my common sense) but it's sad more people aren't married, they choose to just live together without a great commitment. Then again, as my atty (he lives at the end of our street so I see him often when walking the dogs) always says, his father told him it should be $5,000 for a marriage license and free to get divorced.

As far as the children are concerned, well, I think you should be married before you have children but again, live and let live. I just don't like seeing children have to grow up without the other parent if it can be helped.

The NFL network recently interviewed a former NFL player, Warren Sapp. He was asked why we have so many jerks in the NFL like Terrell Owens, Adam Pacman Jones, etc. He said they all shared a common factor - no father or father figure in their lives growing up. He said to look at players who are humble and don't cause trouble - they are the product of a 2 parent household. It's sad to me because it's commonplace now, not the exception to rule, which I think it should be. I graduated high school in 1985 and even back then, a girl in school who got pregnant got sent away "to live with her aunt for a little while". It was a shame to be pregnant and unmarried but it's a sign of the times.

I sometimes wish I could have grown up in the 50s instead of 70s. :-)
Been with a man 13 years older, now with a man 4 years younger.
Younger is better, at least in my case ;)
Sorry, meant 75 cents. Still, that was years and years ago.
xx
I studied to be a scopist years and years ago
Back in the early 1990s I took a course called Note reader Scopist. They read court reporter notes (those long skinny papers that looks like a cash receipt) and types them into documents. I had found the course through something called At Home Professions but just didn't finish it because it was too expensive for me. But I am familiar with them and even found my book from the first course I took. Looking back I think it would have been a blast if I had kept up with it.

It is definitely legitimate. A lot has changed since the early 90s, so I'm not too familiar with the industry now. I do remember what was really weird was it didn't take a lot for me to learn it. For instance I could look at a line of court notes and see something that looked like: NV p srn - and I seemed to know exactly what it said. Just weird. My DH used to say that I understood it because I was an alien and my ship crashed in Roswell. HA HA HA Anyway...that's what I know about it. But if you Google note reader scopist or at home professions i'm sure you could probably find a lot of info.
I have been vegetarian on/off for 35 years, was vegan for about 5 years sm
not that hard. Right now, I am having so many issues with food allergies and celiac disease, having to give up nightshade veggies...nothing left to eat. I am eating some meat now, but not when the gastroparesis sets in!

Being vegan is not hard...unless you are a celiac. This is how I figured out the celiac part because so many of the meat analogs and vegan packaged foods use gluten for the protein and I got really sick from it. I gave up all the premade things and the whole grains with gluten and I was fine.

There is vegan and then there is VE-GAN. By definition, vegans don't wear, use or consume anything that is derived of animals...no leather shoes, most shampoos and toothpastes are off the list, as are deodorants. No wool or silk. Anything with soap usually has animal byproducts. It is very involved and rather difficult to do.

Giving up meat, eggs and dairy is no big deal, except for cheese. You hear that ad about "comfort proteins" in a baby formula and there is such a thing. Mother's milk, be it human, cow, goat, whatever...contains a chemical that triggers the release of endorphins in the brain so that feeding feels good in more ways than one. The purpose of this is ensure that the nursed young want to nurse and thrive. Human milk has a lot of these, so does cow's milk and cow juice triggers the same reaction in the adult human brain. Cheese is concentrated milk and therefore these chemicals are also concentrated. As a result, cheese is an addictive substance. This is the hardest thing to give up when going vegan. Vegan cheese substitutes are nasty and they don't melt. If a dairy-free cheese melts, it contains casein, an animal protein and not vegan.
I studied this years and years and years ago
Most definitely is legitimate. In the late 1980s I studied to be a note reader scopist through a group called At Home Professions. I loved it, but unfortunately could not continue due to no funds. It was reading the court reporters notes which looked like a grocery receipt with a bunch of letters scattered on it. The weird thing was I found it extremely easy. For instance I would see a line that looked like: av e cr, and for some reason I would know what it said. My DH told me that's because I'm an alien and my ship landed in Roswell. HA HA. Well I know that a lot has changed, after all it's been over 20 years since I took the first course and know a lot of it is computerized now, but it is most definitely legitimate and I've heard people like to do it. I think I remember one of the courses was in medical terminology and another course was in legal terminology. Should be able to find a lot of it on google, or maybe go to your local college if they offer it and talk to an instructor.
This has happened for years and years, where have you been?
Frank Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, and on and on. This person is acting very normal like the age she is. You would have to have been under a rock to think differently, like this was an abnormal behavior....
Lost my mom 23 years ago and dad 18 years ago.
My son was not even 1 when my mom died....she was only 50.  My dad died at age 59.  So even though I feel your pain....I would have been very grateful to have them into their 80's.  I guess we take what we get and be thankful.  Sometimes it is hard though. 
I was married for 13 years and 2 years
after my divorce I met the most incredible man. He was also divorced, we both have 2 kids, and though we are not married, we have been together for 9 years. They are still out there, you may have to go through a few marginal ones before you find him, but they are out there and available.
for the life of me..........sm
I mean this just does not make any sense. I had an adjuster come out who looked to be right out of high school, looked at our roof, said it had a LOT more years left on it. I went right to the phone, called my company, said to send someone out that knew something about a roof. I got 3 estimates from roof companies and an estimate to redo one of our bathrooms where it was leaking through. When I threatened to go public with how many roofs were put on homes and checks paid in the field, at the owner's home, standing in their yard, and knew this folks didn't need a roof, then they actually gave me enough to replace our roof. If I sound bitter, I am. This is ridiculous. I cannot help a hurricane blew through, but one could argue spilling bleach in one's floor is their fault, not nature. My mother has an old home, over 90 years old. She has done the best she can with what she has, but when they came out and told her that she would have to pay a deductible to fix part of her room, and then another deductible to fix another part of her roof, because both problems didin't come from the hurricane (like they know this for fact), I blew a fuse. I went ballistic on them. She did get a check in the field from an adjuster at first, but it wouldn't even cover removing the old roof, let alone replacing it with a new one. After the hurricane, she had leaking in several rooms in her home. I pitched a hissy fit. They then came back out and I got a roofer to meet with them, and she then got enough to actually replace the roof and supposedly to fix the ceilings in her house....though I don't think it would cover all that. I called our state insurance commissioner and let into him.....I told him I would expose the garbage going on. People 1 to 2weeks after the storm getting all kinds of paid repairs, but those of us who had to wait later on down the line for an adjuster, were being told they couldn't find a problem. No, the money started flowing out like a river, and then after a few weeks, they start telling their adjusters to tell anyone else they don't see a problem. Bull!
Her life was more...
than Stephen King and John Grisham together could have conjured up. Maybe Howard Stern was a plant in her life by the millionaire's family or maybe someone else close to her was planted by his family. I don't know, but it is the most sensational story I've ever heard in my life.
life
I knew her from when she worked on the North side near the airport. She had Daniel with her at the motel not far away. I was a waitress and we had a meeting for all the employees of a new club and she came and had Daniel with her and I had my son (now almost 19) with me and they played for a bit and she would come to my house on occasion with him.

To be totally honest when in the clubs people are introduced as "family" so I dont know if her "sister" was actually her "sister".

I was a different person back then and unlike her I was able to get away from all of that. I wish things had worked out differently for her and especially for Daniel he deserved so much more.

I hope for Daniellynn??sp?? that she has her mothers spirit and tenacity and her brothers sweetness so that she can see through all this and know that her mother and brother loved her very much.
too bad; it's not WHAT you know in life..nm

Get your own life!

nm


Just another day in the life of...
I just read on MSNBC that China executed the ex-head of the Food and Drug Agency for taking bribes to okay substandard drugs citing, "Such cases have brought shame to our administration and revealed serious problems in approving antibiotics blamed for, at least, 10 deaths and other substandard medications."   I sometimes wonder how much this sort of thing is going on in the rest of the world??
and Not in MY LIFE...........

Its her life though

You can't plan someone's whole life for them, or tell them they are ruining it because they have chosen a different path than you chose for them.  She has to make her own mistakes and learn things in her own way.  What you might call a ruined life could end up making her very happy in the long run.  You do not have a crystal ball in that regard.  Everyone has had a "bad boyfriend" or several and its a learning process.  You can't choose who someone else is attracted to.


When I had children I realized they will not be a carbon copy of me, they will have their own experiences, feelings, etc. from day one.  I made up my mind when my child was little that even though I might not like or agree with my child's life choices, I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and bear it.  Its about what makes them happy, not about what makes ME happy.


Oh I want her life!

That is so cute!  Anyone else allowed in that chair, or is that her's? 


You know, I saw that plastic snowman in the window straight off!  We had one like that when I was a kid too!  I think we had a halloween decoration or two made out of that same funky chippy plastic.  Very retro!  Thanks for posting the picture!


She's got the life!
A vet told me years ago when I took in a young stray cat that the strays "seem to instinctively know the best places to show up" so they can have a good home.  I think he's right!  Looks like she picked the perfect home!
My life now could not be better
I am at a point in my life where I do not have to answer to others, can do what I want, have money to travel, don’t have to work 3 or 4 jobs to make ends meet, in fact working part now, have money in the bank, a loving husband, my daughter, family out of state. No one makes your happiness- only you can make it. I do not count on my children for happiness- I wish them well and that is all I do. They are on their own and hope they continue to be able to. I feel so blessed every day- I thank the good Lord above for my husband, he is a jewel. My daughter loves her stepfather - he had a birthday recently and she left him a message wishing him Hbirthday and tells me she is happy for my happiness. I would not wish to return to my earlier years for anything, so glad I am where I am in my life now. Totally blessed woman.
that was my life for the day, thanks.
I could see me wishing I HAD done all that preparation! If I ever go on safari, I'm taking you with me!
Life was fun up until about age 8,
and then it started getting more complicated.

From those early years I remember wonderful summer nights in Wisconsin with the windows open and cool breezes coming in, the June bugs hitting the screens, summer pajamas. I remember riding bikes and pretending they were horses. I remember shopping for fall clothes when we were lucky enough to get some instead of having them all hand-made from ugly Jiffy patterns. I remember the WI State Fair and winning 3rd and then 2nd prize in the twin contest there. I remember vacationing in cottages in Vermont when I was 4. I remember climbing our maple trees and being about 50 feet high and that was a normal thing to do.

I remember my first kiss from a boy when I was 3 and he was 2. He tried to talk me into walking down the sidewalk to watch a store being constructed and I had to explain my mom wouldn't let me do that.

From later years I remember good times camping with the girlscouts and the time we found a secret place to go near our house where there was a grove of sumacs you could sit under to get away from the world.
You know, we all have needs in life, and
recognition is one of them. Good for you for doing something beneficial for animals, and it doesn't hurt the animals that you'd like others to know you have done something nice in life. I know the Bible says that kindnesses done in secret will be rewarded in heaven, but life is tough and to get through it, I don't see why we can't have a little pleasure or satisfaction out of life now and then to help make the druggery of life worth putting up with. If you want rewards in heaven, you can do something else anonymously, I suppose.
Hers and your life may be - sm
a lot shorter than you think since he has been screwing up his courage and back to banging on her door, etc, and he carries a gun, not a good combination.....get the restraining order, find out how to make it permanent, video tape everything he says and does on her property (with date/time stamp), as poster above said document everything, they can pull phone records and see he calls you and her 30 x a day, etc., call the cops every time he comes and harasses, the cops will take care of it I hope.... they might not like it but that is what they are paid to do so use them, I would just call them when he threatens suicide, don't tell him, just do it, and video tape the threats, etc. Good luck.
oh, get a life.
Just a few observations from living in the south. I never said anything about eating squirrel, rabbit, etc. Someone else must have gotten to you before I did for you to be so defensive. Thought true southern belles were sweet! Or is that a generalization that is wrong also?
I will tell you and from how my life has gone
my life was so down at 1 time but rut was what I called it. I too was the entire breadwinner, had a househusband. I did it all and not a cent from him, everything in my name but I felt like I was the person in charge, I felt superior, I really did. I was supporting 6 people at 1 time, everything (these were his g'children as well as my own daughter who lived with me). He died, I remarried and now I have a person who helps me everyway, financially as well as supportive. The other husband was a real dog, ran around on me and caused me so much stress. It was like a 1000 pounds lifted from my shoulders when he died. I never wished that but when it happened that is how I felt. My life is wonderful now. I am saying, the support and love I feel alone is priceless. I still work and hubby pays the bigger bills, I catch the smaller ones. I know where you are, I have been there, I have struggled, I have been stressed but it can and does turn around a lot. I know this. Probably with him it is like just another child around taking care of them, huh? I have gone from much abuse to none at all. Here are good wishes your way.
I cannot believe for the life of me that
this so called mother put another child thru such as she did. The raping and killing of that precious child. How could she? I would probably be glad to hand her some knife blades if I had them available and could get to her. Hopefully they would be extremely sharp enough to cut her throat ragged, sounds good enough for me.