LIVE YOUR LIFE
Posted By: girlheart on 2007-10-26
In Reply to: Need advice/please don't judge me - sadgirl
Dear Sadgirl--three words for you....LIVE YOUR LIFE. You have allowed this man to take control of your life. Stop obsessing and develop relationships with people who will give back. Surely there are people in your life who you can talk with, spend time with, laugh with, cry with, live your life with! Life is so precious, time passes by so quickly. Stop wasting another minute of your life! Just like any other addiction, this unhealthy relationship will be difficult to break. Begin by staying away from the temptation. Keep your mind busy on other things and be with people as much as possible. And most importantly, talk to your pastor or a counselor about this. He will help you overcome. There is much more to your life than living for a few stolen moments with someone you can't have a future with. YOUR LIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU! LIVE IT!
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seriously, go live your life, before he drags you down.
nm
Not where I live, 30 years to life?
Most do not even get 30 years for a murder.
I don’t care how you live your life, just don’t want to pay for your mistakes
I think I have made my point.
...and be happy! Still lots of life left to live
s
Life is too short to live it in fear. I'd rather sleep in my car -sm
than with someone who mistreated me either physically, OR 'just' psychologically. And even if the kids don't actually see anything happening, you better believe they're still picking up on the bad vibes.
The fact that he mentions killing HIMSELF, in addition to you, is a major red flag. If a person reaches a point where they actually talk about doing something, they're alot closer to doing it than when they were just thinking it to themselves.
Guns in the house. (Guns, pleural!) Not good. I'd have insisted those be gone before the wedding day, myself. (Haha - it'd be in the prenuptial agreement that I'd never get married without!)
Anyway, living in fear for the sake of the greater financial 'security' of having 2 incomes is no security at all, in my book. It's a huge sacrifice of your freedom, peace of mind, & safety. The greatest security you can give yourself or the kids is finding a way to provide for yourselves WITHOUT the 'help' of an abuser.
That I could live the rest of my life in a 25-year-old body.
.
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
Where do you live?? I live in Atlanta
and have been to the symphony here and definitely no hats- you can never go wrong with black dress/slacks. I like to dress a little more for this but the rules are definitely not prim and proper here.
I come from the old school, but live and let live - sm
Well, I tried "cohabitating" with a boyfriend when I was 22. We dated for a year, and 3 weeks after we moved in together, he went back to his ex-wife. Never again. I've been married 18 years now to the same guy. Guess I lucked out.
I don't think it's right to do in a biblical sense (even felt that way when I moved in with a guy but my young hormones took over my common sense) but it's sad more people aren't married, they choose to just live together without a great commitment. Then again, as my atty (he lives at the end of our street so I see him often when walking the dogs) always says, his father told him it should be $5,000 for a marriage license and free to get divorced.
As far as the children are concerned, well, I think you should be married before you have children but again, live and let live. I just don't like seeing children have to grow up without the other parent if it can be helped.
The NFL network recently interviewed a former NFL player, Warren Sapp. He was asked why we have so many jerks in the NFL like Terrell Owens, Adam Pacman Jones, etc. He said they all shared a common factor - no father or father figure in their lives growing up. He said to look at players who are humble and don't cause trouble - they are the product of a 2 parent household. It's sad to me because it's commonplace now, not the exception to rule, which I think it should be. I graduated high school in 1985 and even back then, a girl in school who got pregnant got sent away "to live with her aunt for a little while". It was a shame to be pregnant and unmarried but it's a sign of the times.
I sometimes wish I could have grown up in the 50s instead of 70s. :-)
for the life of me..........sm
I mean this just does not make any sense. I had an adjuster come out who looked to be right out of high school, looked at our roof, said it had a LOT more years left on it. I went right to the phone, called my company, said to send someone out that knew something about a roof. I got 3 estimates from roof companies and an estimate to redo one of our bathrooms where it was leaking through. When I threatened to go public with how many roofs were put on homes and checks paid in the field, at the owner's home, standing in their yard, and knew this folks didn't need a roof, then they actually gave me enough to replace our roof. If I sound bitter, I am. This is ridiculous. I cannot help a hurricane blew through, but one could argue spilling bleach in one's floor is their fault, not nature. My mother has an old home, over 90 years old. She has done the best she can with what she has, but when they came out and told her that she would have to pay a deductible to fix part of her room, and then another deductible to fix another part of her roof, because both problems didin't come from the hurricane (like they know this for fact), I blew a fuse. I went ballistic on them. She did get a check in the field from an adjuster at first, but it wouldn't even cover removing the old roof, let alone replacing it with a new one. After the hurricane, she had leaking in several rooms in her home. I pitched a hissy fit. They then came back out and I got a roofer to meet with them, and she then got enough to actually replace the roof and supposedly to fix the ceilings in her house....though I don't think it would cover all that. I called our state insurance commissioner and let into him.....I told him I would expose the garbage going on. People 1 to 2weeks after the storm getting all kinds of paid repairs, but those of us who had to wait later on down the line for an adjuster, were being told they couldn't find a problem. No, the money started flowing out like a river, and then after a few weeks, they start telling their adjusters to tell anyone else they don't see a problem. Bull!
Her life was more...
than Stephen King and John Grisham together could have conjured up. Maybe Howard Stern was a plant in her life by the millionaire's family or maybe someone else close to her was planted by his family. I don't know, but it is the most sensational story I've ever heard in my life.
life
I knew her from when she worked on the North side near the airport. She had Daniel with her at the motel not far away. I was a waitress and we had a meeting for all the employees of a new club and she came and had Daniel with her and I had my son (now almost 19) with me and they played for a bit and she would come to my house on occasion with him.
To be totally honest when in the clubs people are introduced as "family" so I dont know if her "sister" was actually her "sister".
I was a different person back then and unlike her I was able to get away from all of that. I wish things had worked out differently for her and especially for Daniel he deserved so much more.
I hope for Daniellynn??sp?? that she has her mothers spirit and tenacity and her brothers sweetness so that she can see through all this and know that her mother and brother loved her very much.
too bad; it's not WHAT you know in life..nm
Get your own life!
nm
Just another day in the life of...
I just read on MSNBC that China executed the ex-head of the Food and Drug Agency for taking bribes to okay substandard drugs citing, "Such cases have brought shame to our administration and revealed serious problems in approving antibiotics blamed for, at least, 10 deaths and other substandard medications." I sometimes wonder how much this sort of thing is going on in the rest of the world??
and Not in MY LIFE...........
Its her life though
You can't plan someone's whole life for them, or tell them they are ruining it because they have chosen a different path than you chose for them. She has to make her own mistakes and learn things in her own way. What you might call a ruined life could end up making her very happy in the long run. You do not have a crystal ball in that regard. Everyone has had a "bad boyfriend" or several and its a learning process. You can't choose who someone else is attracted to.
When I had children I realized they will not be a carbon copy of me, they will have their own experiences, feelings, etc. from day one. I made up my mind when my child was little that even though I might not like or agree with my child's life choices, I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and bear it. Its about what makes them happy, not about what makes ME happy.
Oh I want her life!
That is so cute! Anyone else allowed in that chair, or is that her's?
You know, I saw that plastic snowman in the window straight off! We had one like that when I was a kid too! I think we had a halloween decoration or two made out of that same funky chippy plastic. Very retro! Thanks for posting the picture!
She's got the life!
A vet told me years ago when I took in a young stray cat that the strays "seem to instinctively know the best places to show up" so they can have a good home. I think he's right! Looks like she picked the perfect home!
My life now could not be better
I am at a point in my life where I do not have to answer to others, can do what I want, have money to travel, don’t have to work 3 or 4 jobs to make ends meet, in fact working part now, have money in the bank, a loving husband, my daughter, family out of state. No one makes your happiness- only you can make it. I do not count on my children for happiness- I wish them well and that is all I do. They are on their own and hope they continue to be able to. I feel so blessed every day- I thank the good Lord above for my husband, he is a jewel. My daughter loves her stepfather - he had a birthday recently and she left him a message wishing him Hbirthday and tells me she is happy for my happiness. I would not wish to return to my earlier years for anything, so glad I am where I am in my life now. Totally blessed woman.
that was my life for the day, thanks.
I could see me wishing I HAD done all that preparation! If I ever go on safari, I'm taking you with me!
Life was fun up until about age 8,
and then it started getting more complicated.
From those early years I remember wonderful summer nights in Wisconsin with the windows open and cool breezes coming in, the June bugs hitting the screens, summer pajamas. I remember riding bikes and pretending they were horses. I remember shopping for fall clothes when we were lucky enough to get some instead of having them all hand-made from ugly Jiffy patterns. I remember the WI State Fair and winning 3rd and then 2nd prize in the twin contest there. I remember vacationing in cottages in Vermont when I was 4. I remember climbing our maple trees and being about 50 feet high and that was a normal thing to do.
I remember my first kiss from a boy when I was 3 and he was 2. He tried to talk me into walking down the sidewalk to watch a store being constructed and I had to explain my mom wouldn't let me do that.
From later years I remember good times camping with the girlscouts and the time we found a secret place to go near our house where there was a grove of sumacs you could sit under to get away from the world.
You know, we all have needs in life, and
recognition is one of them. Good for you for doing something beneficial for animals, and it doesn't hurt the animals that you'd like others to know you have done something nice in life. I know the Bible says that kindnesses done in secret will be rewarded in heaven, but life is tough and to get through it, I don't see why we can't have a little pleasure or satisfaction out of life now and then to help make the druggery of life worth putting up with. If you want rewards in heaven, you can do something else anonymously, I suppose.
Hers and your life may be - sm
a lot shorter than you think since he has been screwing up his courage and back to banging on her door, etc, and he carries a gun, not a good combination.....get the restraining order, find out how to make it permanent, video tape everything he says and does on her property (with date/time stamp), as poster above said document everything, they can pull phone records and see he calls you and her 30 x a day, etc., call the cops every time he comes and harasses, the cops will take care of it I hope.... they might not like it but that is what they are paid to do so use them, I would just call them when he threatens suicide, don't tell him, just do it, and video tape the threats, etc. Good luck.
oh, get a life.
Just a few observations from living in the south. I never said anything about eating squirrel, rabbit, etc. Someone else must have gotten to you before I did for you to be so defensive. Thought true southern belles were sweet! Or is that a generalization that is wrong also?
I will tell you and from how my life has gone
my life was so down at 1 time but rut was what I called it. I too was the entire breadwinner, had a househusband. I did it all and not a cent from him, everything in my name but I felt like I was the person in charge, I felt superior, I really did. I was supporting 6 people at 1 time, everything (these were his g'children as well as my own daughter who lived with me). He died, I remarried and now I have a person who helps me everyway, financially as well as supportive. The other husband was a real dog, ran around on me and caused me so much stress. It was like a 1000 pounds lifted from my shoulders when he died. I never wished that but when it happened that is how I felt. My life is wonderful now. I am saying, the support and love I feel alone is priceless. I still work and hubby pays the bigger bills, I catch the smaller ones. I know where you are, I have been there, I have struggled, I have been stressed but it can and does turn around a lot. I know this. Probably with him it is like just another child around taking care of them, huh? I have gone from much abuse to none at all. Here are good wishes your way.
I cannot believe for the life of me that
this so called mother put another child thru such as she did. The raping and killing of that precious child. How could she? I would probably be glad to hand her some knife blades if I had them available and could get to her. Hopefully they would be extremely sharp enough to cut her throat ragged, sounds good enough for me.
there's not enough spontaniety in this life....sm
I think it's fine if friends drop by for a few minutes to say hello, to touch base, to have a cup of tea with (few minutes to an hour). I believe there is not enough spontaniety in this life in general so this does not bother me when friends stop by. As a matter of fact, my friend who has cancer just rang my bell, we spent 30 minutes chatting here and she was heading home (same area). I loved it. Life is too short for it all to be about work-work-work and a clean house.
My opinion is that a home should be clean enough to be healthy and messy/dirty enough to be happy. 
have had this my entire life........
I had always gone for yearly mammograms and sometimes with bilateral hand-held ultrasound (my opinion is that the latter is better because w/ultrasound they always show up and not so with every mammogram). I have never needed a breast biopsy either. I am older now, breasts much less *dense*- a word that the MD always used - and I do not go yearly but every other year. BTW, no family hx for me of breast cancer. Try not to worry.......you can Google this too if you'd like......
We have a life line
We have a life line you can get through your local hospital probably. There is a "base" connected to the phone. She can wear a necklace or a pin. If she needs help, she pushes it and believe me you will hear it, it says, "help call in progress, help call in progress". Someone will pick up and ask if you guys need help. You can answer, no we have it now, or yes we need help. It is approximately 40.00 a month. This is also good when you want to go out and she has to be alone.
Have the time of your life!!
You are always willing to help others, and I hope you have a great time! 
Lady, you seriously, seriously have to get a life. nm
nm
Loves of my life are
the 2 male cats my hubby brought home from Wal-Mart, some guy had them outside. Guy said found beside road, who knows and really how cares. They are wonderful, gorgeous brothers, long coats, black and white and I love being able to stroke them with 1 hand while still working (do a lot of editing so can do this). I had them fixed at an early age and believe in that but still will feed any stray that comes in my yard or I see out anywhere.
So, accept second best in life
and do not complain about your lack of love, the abuse you accept for staying around for a 6 year old and live life as you have it. I am the product of a divorce and to tell you the truth, never ever bothered me. Did not miss having my father around 24/7, saw him often while growing up but lived with my mother and brother and had a wonderful time growing up. I find it amusing to hear someone say the happiness of their child is worth sacrificing their own happiness- remember this when she grows up and decides to leave and then you are left with? Any therapist will tell you in no certain terms you should be happy first, if you are not then your child is not but then, like I said, live your life like you want. I for 1 love my life and hubs, wonderful times, spoiled rotten and could not ask for more in life ever. I am a very blessed person.
Don't know how it can ruin your life unless you let it - sm
You just have to watch your back and so no to the vultures. Not too hard to do. I'd have a lot of fun with that kind of cash, pay off the bills, build/buy a new house, new car, set up trust funds for my kids, rock solid retirement fund for me in my old age, and a few nice vacations here and there, and probably something wildly extravagant that you'd never do unless you were a zillionaire. I'd help out a few friends too but not everyone who asked for a handout, especially relatives I did not know or were not friendly with.
Beautiful life here but still did not get
the answer as to why we should care, why the post? Are we supposed to know this person? I do enjoy seeing pictures of the animals, though.
I think I'm witnessing the end of my old cat's life.
Poor old Arf man. He's 15 this year...he's been with us since my husband and I met in 1992. He keeps trying to sneak outside and I found him curled up in the hay freezing cold. I'm trying to convince him to die inside here where it's warm. I held him for a long time just now in front of the woodstove to warm him up but he didn't purr. He doesn't seem to be in any pain at all but he definitely has 'that look,' and anyone who has had animals knows what I mean. He wanted down off my lap, so I let him go. He's sleeping now in the bathroom on the floor next to the toilet. He seems to want to be in a cool spot, so I'll leave him be.
Right now I'm not sad. I'm just glad I can be with him and keep an eye on him. From what I know of cats, they usually like to wander off and die alone. I just don't want him doing that.
What food could you eat every day of your life
and not tire of it? For me, green olives, totally addicted.
just life - because I count everything
and when traveling I see things I would never see - like roadrunners and scissor tailed flycatchers in Texas when I was younger. I have regular nuthatches but this really caught my eye and I had to look him up. I have wrens also - always a vocal presence in my yard year round. Just saw a downy woodpecker - have not seen a pileated for years but my wasbund has them in his yard. Chickadees and titmice my favorites this time of year.
what happened to Life?
nm
I would say it's called having no life
nm
Life's lessons
If you only had one thing to write, what is the most important life lesson you ever learned? I've got a ton of them but if I had to choose one it would probably be what my grandfather told me growing up. In a crowd of people, never talk about religion or politics.
Just wonder what other people have learned.
Thank you. Yes, she has had a wonderful life.
She knows she is loved, but still so, so hard. Just very difficult today, but as time goes by it will be easier.
What the life this kitty cat has!
Oh and I love your "blanket" on your bed? Can I have that? It looks so luxurious especially this time of night after typing all day! What a life! I want to be a cat in my next life!
This is our cat! This is around the holidays, and my 7-year-old thought she'd jazz her up a bit, but I'm not so sure she is liking it. She does like having pictures taken though!
Hope your cat feels better soon; she is just beautiful! GET WELL SOON AIDA!
That's her life. She is very talented. Just
xx
it's the life of MANY/MOST of them today
it doesn't discriminate, drug/substance abuse/addiction - from Nicole Richey to Mel Gibson........and from Lindsay Lohan to GWB...
and so, they sing about it, nothing wrong with that, country western singers have been singing about stuff like this for a long time, along with other rock and rollers.
I'm just happy Amy is doing so well in rehab - she was pretty clear last night while performing.....and was definitely not high, though a bit confused when she won the last award for herself....and proud...FIVE awards she won.
Cut her some slack.....some of us have *been there, done that* and we don't forget way_back_when....
All we really have to do is love people and wish them well.......
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