Remind him that this is his own children's time now.
Posted By: Me on 2006-12-13
In Reply to: christmas stress . . . - maam
If his childhood wasn't good and/or he has a poor adult relationship with his parental figures, remind him that he is having a similar effect on his own children. There are great Christian books all about being released from your own past so you can make a new life. If you can't move away, then you are going to have to do the mature thing and get counseling or whatever to be able to handle this ... for the sake of the children and yourselves. Otherwise these kids are going to have to do it when THEY grow up. Stop the cycle now.
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My MIL had 3 children by the time she was 21.
She went on to have 8 more and they all turned out fine and for the most part successful. I don't think it is the age that matters but the person.
bed time for children
i know a lot depends on the child and what's been going on, etc. but generally speaking what is a good bed time for a child ages 8-11 during school nights. my husband thinks we should extend bedtime but i'm not so sure. currently it is 9:30p and wakes up approx 7 am. the child is never in bed at 9:30 but starts brushign teeth etc at that time and i would say is never actually sleeping until 10 at the earliest. next year school will start an hour earlier so I hestitate to make a change and then need to step back again in 6 months.
Right time not to have any more children
Said I did not want a child after 30 and my last child born at 29. I cannot imagine motherhood at some age when you are basically the age of a grandmother.
It has been a long time since I had school age children--sm
but I just want to make a comment here that so far nobody else has suggested. Two of my children had been born with cleft palates and thus had many surgeries and speech difficulties. I had so many discussions with the school system, it still boggles my mind some 20 years later, but I did learn one thing during this time. Some school systems have special education classes that are funded from outside sources. In order to maintain those classes and the *funding*, they had to have a certain quota of children enrolled in them. If they were not going to meet their quota for any given school semester/year, the *teachers* would start to *recruit* somewhat borderline children, i.e. the ones that were slightly *slower* than the *norm*. Those were the children that they told the parents they did not have the *resources* to spend extra time with, etc. basically *forcing* them into the special education classes, and hence meeting their quotas, and retaining their funding. My children had very high IQs, but only had speech problems until all of their surgeries were done to correct their problems. Their teachers also attempted to keep my children in special education classes and even special schools, when they were just as *normal* as any other child. I can't tell you how difficult it is to argue with a *multidisciplinary team* to keep a child out of special education classes when you know in your heart it is not necessary, and all they want is their *funding*. I have very little use for the school systems of today and feel that all children would be better off being taught at home. If social interaction is the only draw back, children really do get enough of that through their neighborhoods, family, and friends. This is just my opinion and experiences, so I don't want to start any arguments here. Just keep in mind about the *funding* as they will never tell you this straight out. good luck to you.
and try finding time to workout between children and work...
I wish I had the energy of my 8 year old....
My children watch it to see the babies...I watched it one time and decided (sm)
I could not stand the condescending way Kate talked to and about Jon. She was so insulting and demanding of him, I can't see why anyone would want to live like that. I feel sorry for the children, but they have not been allowed to have a normal life anyway, and they should not be raised to see their dad take abuse from their mom, so good for him for standing up for himself.
actually, you might remind him
that once upon a time you picked out HIM! Did he question your judgement then?
Remind me to stay
 away from that doctor!!!
Does she remind you of the old Tonya or the
one who lived in the trailer and drove that truck? What a waste!
Just get him some straw bales and remind him how
x
My brother says I remind him of Monk.
Let me say, I could be a LOT worse than what I am. I just don't allow myself to be. First, unless it is absolutely necessary, I don't sit on anyone's toilet seat but my own, and if I have to, I put down t.p. or a cover. I get grossed out when people share drinks! I always tell my husband and kids not to do that with other people, like friends, etc.! For real, you don't know what they could possibly have?!  They don't seem to be phased. If I could, I would bring my own silverware to restaurants, but my husband would freak! When we go to a hotel, I have a ritual. I have a washable shower cap that I wear to bed (don't want my hair to touch the pillow) PLUS I still have my own towel or little blankie that I put over the pillow, just to be extra cautious, also, I never sleep on a hotel bed w/o underwear! And also, no bare feet on the hotel carpet, it grosses me out! Okay I am cracking myself up typing this, because I know how ridiculous it sounds, but I just CAN'T help it! I have seen the 20/20 and Dateline hidden investigations of even 5-STAR hotels!!! And also, the first thing I do is take the comforter off and bring my own blanket! It is a problem if we have to go on a plane, as I don't have room for my own blanket though. My husband says he's not gonna travel with me anymore if I keep it up! Also, NEVER use the airplane pillows or blankets! I could go on, but that is it for now... I'm sure everyone had a good laugh reading this one, including me.
Though you were gonna remind me of the plague! - sm
 . My mom always worked outside the home after I was about 5. Dad worked nights, so I was the designated cook and housekeeper. Possibly the reason I despise housework today!
Hippies never scared me, most that I met were pretty cool. What I meant was that while I thought the war was dumb, I was too young to be passionate enough to protest or anything like that. Seeing Led Zeppelin as an opening act was worth it to be as old as I am now...well maybe not, but there's nothing I can do about my age except lie about it.
She's beginning to remind me of Michael Jackson....sm
someone crying out for help but no one getting through to them. Of course Michael would alienate or fire anyone that told him he was crazy. Sad thing for Brittney is that this bizarre behavior will hurt her in her custody attempt for the kids, and if she's that mentally unstable she shouldn't have the kids.
Can someone remind me how to post a picture to this board? Thanks - nm
x
good grief!!! I have to go to the store!!! Thanks for the remind!!!
I am trying to not buy so much because I am taking my first vacation in 4 years next Friday, but I think I will have to break down and get groceries!!! GEEZ!!! I want pizza.... YUMMMM
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.
I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.
I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).
I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*....
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc. Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.
Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
All children are different
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old. Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such. Times are a changing. I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.
Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?
Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"
I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
23 and 25 and like your children
my of my kids friends have older parents. All the kids like to hang out at our house because we "seem so much cooler" than their parents. Believe me, nothing goes on in this house that shouldn't. We just always have lots of junk food in the freezer, don't mind the music up loud, and love to just sit and chat with the kids. Last night one of my son's friends was picking him up to go to youth and she was early so we talked while he got ready. When it was time to go she said she didn't want to leave. It was really sweet.
Do you have children? LOL! sm
Meant that becasue I have a friend that says she has "brain damage cuz she has kids". I have a book that is titled "If questions for the soul". Not all questions are religious but most are. I had another one that was the same but not religious ? and loaned it to a friend. We often have these books in the car on family road trips. Really gets the family talking.
My children, now 26 and 25, are right there with yours. My
son works in retail (grocery store) and buys his jeans to wear to work at the thrift store. None of us mind wearing thrift store clothes. We tend to shop clearance racks and sales. They are not particular about the brand of clothing they wear (I never was either) so long as they fit and are comfortable. I'm really glad mine don't feel the need to compete with everybody else and spend everything they make trying to keep up with others. 
Since I do not know you or your children, sm
I can not tell you the effects it will have on them--but, do not think for a minute they do not know about and cannot feel the stress and fear you are dealing with.
For me, it was best for me and my children to have a peaceful, happy home than to live one more day like we had been. This is a personal choice and for us, I made the right one. Good luck to you.
you know your children and how
they are prone to react (ie, 'you turned out okay'). I never lied to my kids, but only shared my experiences when I thought it would add to their education about a subject, and of course was age appropriate. For example, about drugs, they know what i think about pot/weed, but they don't know anything else i may have tried. Sometimes personal experience gives validity to the discussion, but i sure wouldn't make it a confessional.
You ask if she has children, will tell you what she has
She has a man who is likely bisexual but then sounds like a closeted gay to me, marrying for his own reasons, a person who is refusing her sexually, probably getting his kicks elsewhere (as in the gay sex line and possibly meeting other guys and having affairs on her.) I would not care if I had 20 kids, there is not that much "love" in the world for me to stay and hope to have a relationship? Not this woman. I do not want to risk my life. I heard the saying for years- where there's smoke, there's fire- so much smoke around this guy he could set his own bonfire.
I don't have children - but
Let me start by saying I do not have children (but do have neices and nephews). Second...my language itself is well lets just say I shocked my mom quite a few times. Bad language just happens to be part of our everyday conversation (IN THE HOUSE)- mostly as we scream at the TV watching the news about politics. :-) We don't talk like that outside and certainly not around children. I think its disgusting. Our neighbors across the street talk to their children exactly like what you wrote above. Except their words were "get your f'n a** in the house" and "you give me that sh*t again and I'll beat your a**" So they aren't swearing as if they were talking about other people, they are swearing at their kids. They are just a couple of pigs! Just sounds very very low class. My husband and I said if you talk to your children like that how are they going to be respectful as they grow (mind you we have no experience whatsoever raising kids, but we would never talk like that to our kids if we had any).
Yes I have children
Apparently you did not read my whole post.
Even little children need to feel they have some control over their lives ... like letting them pick between two different outfits for school, rather than telling them what they are wearing.
A safe and fair compromise is not a bad thing. The daughter will have to choose if she wants to cooperate or not. If she will not, there there is only so much you can do and she will have to experience the consequences.
Just because she has started handling her desire for independence in a not-so-great way does not mean she cannot do things differently after receiving more information and some thought. You have to allow teens the room to make smarter decisions along the way ... people DO learn and grow. That's the plan anyway. :)
I think I have to ban my mom from seeing my children (sm)
She lives 500 miles from us and sees them about twice a year usually, but every single time, she says inappropriate things around them. I end up asking her to please not tell them things like that and she gets angry at me and barely says anything for the rest of her visit. Yet the next time she sees them, it is the same thing all over again. It is as if she doesn't have a filter that tells her what to say and what not to say, and she talks incessantly. She talks about people who made her mad 30 years ago and what they did and she says it in a mean, angry voice and goes on and on. She talks about sexual things in front of them. She talks about ghosts and demons and how she has seen them and how the world is about to end, and on and on. Scaring them and also telling them things they shouldn't know. She started talking yesterday about my teenage nephew being propositioned by one of his friends who had decided he was gay....saying the boy asked him to "take his clothes off and do something". My 8 year old daughter started crying and told my mom it made her "feel weird" to hear that kind of stuff and to please not tell her anything else like that. My daughter knows what gay is but she doesn't understand why someone would want someone else to take their clothes off and she doesn't need to right now! Anyway, my mom went home last night but the kids are still asking once again about demons and ghosts and everything else. I love my mother but I am thinking from now on, I will go visit her by myself and not have her come here at all, and not let her see my kids until they are much older. Is this bad?
Boy men are such children - sm
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.
Yea me and him have no children but
he does have a child of his own from a previous relationship. But his son does not like me and has nothing to do with me so I don't consider him of my child. He doesn't speak to me. I won't even get started on those issues.
I have 2 children. The first, a boy,
natural birth, lasted 12 hours, was very painful for me, at the end I was so weak - when I started out with my pregnancy I was underweight - that they had to inject me something that made my final contractions stronger.
The second, a girl, epidural. By far easier, but took also 12 hours. Most important is to get a gynecologist who has lots of experience with epidural deliveries. After the delivery I had in some trouble, I really felt bad until my system got rid of the anesthetic.
If I had to do it a 3rd time, I would definitely choose the epidural.
She would not get the children, not next of kin
even if put in will. I saw a picture of her and she looks strange herself, doesn’t she?
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical. DD has lots of friends but two real close friends. I guess this is all part of building social skills. I am glad I did okay then.
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
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