What a horrible position to be in..sm
Posted By: me on 2007-09-15
In Reply to: Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts.. - Stressed out Mom..
There are some really good groups on MSN where you can go and talk to people in similar positions. There are boards specifically for people with family members with drug addictions. I would also suggest that you get some counseling for yourself to help you with the guilt that you feel.
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Yes, I think my LL is in the same position as you.
Although I am a very good tenant, my LL tries every year to raise my rent, so that he can cover HIS mortgage payments.
I like the apartment and the neighborhood, so I accepted the raises.
But now, in these times, I will refuse to accept a rent raise, then he has to take me to court if he wants to evict me. And I do not think that not agreeing to a raise rent, especailly in these bad times, is a reason to evict a tenant.
Anm I right or wrong?
I will, to the contrary, ask him to lower my rent.
P.S. My LL is a 'stingy' one, with everything.
For instance, he refuses to take a professional pest exterminator and does it himself. The results are not good!
I was in the same position until I put my foot down.
Stopped doing all the little things they liked. One by one, they wondered what was wrong with me. I finally said they could at least pick up their things. Husband cleaned the kitchen that night and the dining room floor. You have got to put your foot down and stick to it! Don't feel bad for them, you help them by not doing so much and taking care of yourself. Then, they will realize and pitch in. It does not happen overnight and you may have to grin and bear a messy house for a while. But don't see it, and do something for yourself instead, get out of the house, read a book, take a walk every time you feel bad for them and then do for you. It works, speaking from experience. But you have to stick to it! You will feel better. Try it you will see!
I chose to buy. I was in a position to be able
to put enough down on the home so that my mortgage is actually less than most rentals around here.
I would recommend you buy if you plan on staying in that area because the rates are so great right now. You are likely to be able to grab a great deal on a house. If your credit is good, don't put as much down for a deposit and sock it away for emergencies. Good luck to you!
Yep, had one of those too in the "on" position
Vibrating like crazy, way up there with a huge volume of lube. The ER doctor couldn't extract it with the forceps, so he gave the guy the choice of waiting until the batteries died or having it removed under anesthesia. The patient opted for the anesthesia (maybe he used Energizer batteries and they would just keep going and going and going...)
How about beach-chair position?
Doncha know the patient wishes they were really in a chair on the beach instead of in the operating room.
Neither am I - quite the opposite - I guess if you have never been in this position you don't kno
x
Wow. I am in the same position but with three kids BEGGING me to...
divorce their day. He is absolutely horrible. He is verbally abusive, mentally abusive, emotionally abusive, horrifically financially abusive, etc... I could go on and on and on. I had the same question when my three children were young. They are all a year apart. I knew if I divorced him when they were very young, he could partial custody or certainly visitation rights. Now, I don't care. They are 14, 13, and 12. I am going to give them the choice of whether or not they want to see their dad, which from what they tell me, they say they won't be happy until he is dead. Sad situation for those of us in it. You are in my thoughts. It's a brutal situation to be in. I know...I am there.
Look, Walmart changed their position BECAUSE people
complained AND stopped shopping at their stores. They said they admitted they had made a mistake.
Neither. I work in a corp position and we have Thanksgiving off plus
I love it and would never go back to MT work.
Yes, I did, and it is horrible...sm
My puter has been doing some really strange things since I did. The internet is sooooooooo slow and kicking me in and out, I'm about ready to scream, not to mention my line count for today..... Are you having the same problems?
OMG. How horrible.
My heart would have been pounding a mile a minute. Yes, I would have worried about the reaction, but I probably would have said something for the sake of the children. If they both went off and things got ugly then I would have had the cops come. You were in a public place so that would have helped a bit. He was WRONG TOTALLY. Your mom and sister saw everything and I would have kept at him if he went off. Cell phones with cameras are great to have in these kinds of situations. Again, how awful. Those poor kids. I am sure that was not the first time he hit them either. Especially in a public. YIKES.
That's horrible. Not only
should he be held accountable as an adult, whoever hired him needs to go to jail.
How horrible
Misha, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Good thoughts go out to CJ. Keep us posted.
OMG that looks horrible
Sorry took awhile to reply to this message. I looked at pics of hordeolum and its not that - thank goodness...those look so painful and awful. Another post said chalazion and it looks more like that, though some pics don't look too much better. I will keep "an eye on this". - How's that for humor. HA HA
This is HORRIBLE!
You need to get as far away as possible. You have a computer, so how about emailing your local Domestic Abuse hotline and see what they can do. Perhaps you should bcc to your sister all emails regarding your home situation. Also send her any replies that you receive. YOU DO NOT WANT HIM TO READ ANY EMAILS REGARDING YOUR FEARS AND WANTS!! Maybe your area has an underground process to move you and the kids to a safe place.....hundreds of miles away.
Everyone...don't assume that she is not telling the truth. Stress can cause one to forget dates, exaggerate, or even make up something. I would rather see that she goes into a shelter and not a grave!
this is horrible
He wants to (literally) have his cake & eat it too? He wants to eat the same amount but spend less, & the way he will go about this is to starve you? Outrageous. Borders on, if not spills over into, abusive.
All you are doing by going along with this is proving that his plan works. For heaven's sake, don't enable his creepy behavior by quitting eating! You eat what you need to eat, & the first time he can't have seconds he will know the plan is unworkable.
this is horrible p.s.
If you don't stand up for yourself (and your kids) you will end up with a son who treats his wife the way your husband treats you and a daughter who feels it is okay to be starved by her husband.
I get that you have creditors, but you are a family. You can't have some members paying the price and others not. Either everyone eats a little less or no one does & you find a different way to deal with the situation. Food is not a luxury.
It's not really that horrible!
LMAO! I have 9 cats that I love and adore, but I have threatened on more than one occasion to turn one into Kitty Stew if she doesn't quit peeing on the GD kitchen counters. I go through Clorox Cleanup by the gallon. They have 5 litter boxes inside and 600 square feet of a brand new enclosed porch with dirt floor that she can go in, but still the counters.........
Clearly she knows I don't mean it because she is still doing it and just gives me that "I'm too cute for my own good" look.
Wow--that is horrible.
I am always surprised at how people wait around for others to die. (I understand the the OP did not allude to this.) But she did say that this woman was there for her when NOONE else was. That should count for something.
How horrible! But now I'm wondering..
In first aid classes, I've learned about dealing with people who have heat stroke. Get them cooled off while waiting for help, etc. What should we do with an animal in such a situation? I would definitely have called the police, as you did. And I'm not questioning that you could have done more. I know you did the right thing. But if I should ever happen upon such a situation, is it a good thing to wet the dog down with water? Or would that be too much of a shock to its system? Does anyone know?
Would I be a horrible person if
I got my cats declawed? I'm totally against declawing, but my husband is REALLY mad and says either we get them declawed or they have to go. We just got brand new furniture and they have the arm of the sofa snagged up already, luckily it is the piece that is being replaced cause the delivery people broke a board on it bringing it into the house. I don't know what to do, I would never get rid of my cats for doing something that is in their nature. I already have scratching pads and a post and put the catnip on it. They must just have more fun scratching the furniture. Any ideas, suggestions? 
P.S. We were not registed either--- how horrible is that - nm
x
Oh "Me" that is just horrible! :-(
What an awful thing to be going through. I have absolutely no advice at all here but, man, it's quite all right for you to have yourself a pity party--I would be a complete mess if I were in your shoes. I take things way too HARD and can't just let them slide like other fortunate souls can, so I can certainly relate to how you must be feeling.
You hang in there...this too shall pass.
I know! I had horrible symptoms (sm)
And kept being told it might just be depression - I finally took the *&* antidepressants just to cope with not being diagnosed! It didn't help my illness but it helped me deal with it. Eventually they did an MRI of my brain and found pinpoint lesions all over it but never could tell me what they were from. I took antidepressants and sleep med and used lots of alternative remedies and juiced and ate as healthy and pure as possible for a year and finally got fairly well but still have a few leftover symptoms (ear fluttering, occasional muscle twitches) that will probably never go away. One doctor even suggested that I go to a massage therapist because some people would get depressed over not having enough "touch" in their lives - I had two children who hugged me all day and my husband and I were very "active."
it sounds horrible, but
in truth, it wasn't something to be totally humiliated by. I did something wrong, I knew the policy, I expected the outcome. I knew my mom was tougher than most. Actually, the guy didn't hit as hard as SHE did, so I gladly suffered his paddling. When she complained she was getting in trouble on her job for having to come watch me get paddled, I told her to stay at work next time. Boy, that steamed her! LOL!
She became a teacher and got a paddle with pinholes drilled into it and kept it at home over the summers. I joined the swim team and stayed at the pool every day in the summer after that!
When my kids were in elementary school, we were asked to sign a form to allow paddling, and they also included that there would always be a witness so no one could accuse them of abuse. They left the option of the parent(s) being the witness to each family or choosing a teacher instead.
I'd rather hold the paddler responsible by my witnessing it not know exactly what type of punishment was being given. Some people hit harder than others, some kids are more sensitive. Neither of my kids got paddled, but I knew the procedure and assigned myself as the witness.
Still seems horrible, especially when you describe
a paddle with holes?! What's the point of that other to completely scare a child? With a piece of wood? I don't understand. I'm so sorry you went through that. It seems totally unfair and, well, abusive. I hope you didn't suffer permanent damage, even damage you don't know about. Are you scared of authority figures, or of men? Or of someone coming at you with something in their hands?
I'm not being funny, I'm completely serious.
I think that is horrible advice. She should let herself
feel degraded (maybe) because she could run the risk of losing him to another woman? Wow.
Thank you everyone. At least I am not alone but gosh it looks horrible! sm
I LOVE the you tube videos. Thank you so much for posting that. I wondered if there were excercises for that area and I can do those and type too at the same time! Really funny was the poopedoutitis! Loved it!
Horrible Teeth
What are your opinions? If you had terrible teeth, that kind that decay from the inside out, you've had 14 root canals, several of which broke off after they were crowned (to the tune of about $1200 per tooth), you have three more teeth that need to be extracted, 2 more that need root canals and extensive bridge work must then be completed, your mouth hurts all the time, there is an abscess forming over one of the old root canals that broke, you have a heart valve condition which means you must always premedicate before dental work and an infection could cause pericarditis .... would you have the above work done or just say, to hell with it, I'm getting dentures. BTW, I'm 51 and this all started when I was 5.
No. no. no. sorry, just horrible things.....m....
I like only 3 a bit
# 2 is a nightmare, really scary!
And I would let people 'step' on my oriental carpets, but not 'sit' on them.
Do you mean the horrible protestors? Call your...
local Harley Davidson shop, and they will assemble a team to keep those worthless parasites under control!!
What a horrible senseless tragedy.
How awful for the families involved. My 2 oldest are away at college, and you worry enough as it is but when something like this happens, OMG! There just is no understanding how someone could be so evil. My heart is breaking.
California Fires, so horrible. On FOX
they were just showing a San Diego reporter reporting on watching his home burning. He had lived there for 25 years. So sad.
My parents have horrible neighbors.
They are nice people, but their three daughters are always dressed in dirty clothes. You will often see one of the girls out in the yard with no clothes on and they are old enough they should have clothes on. There back yard is totally trashed. They have junk thrown everywhere and the kids are out there playing in the junk with dirty or no clothes on. They have several dogs that they can't keep pinned in and we often find them in my parent's yard taking a dump or just walking around. They had two goats and when my dad caught one in my mom's garden, he shot it with a BB gun. They had two ponies in their back yard, which isn't big enough for one pony let alone two, and the one pony had what looked like a old tuna can stuck to its hoof. They never mow the front yard. They have junk all over the front of the house. I don't even want to think about what the inside of the house looks like. Their dogs come over and my mom has tripped and fallen over them as she suffers from MS and her balance is not good. Both the parents have dark long brown hair and if you see them from the back, the only way to tell them apart is by their tattoos. My mom has called the humane society about the animals several times. Nothing has been done. I told my mom to start shooting animals at random as they enter her yard. LOL!
I thought my cable went out. Horrible.
nm
I heard food is horrible and very
xx
I did - got a horrible response in the aftermath
I got yelled at, screamed at, and called all kinds of names :-( Apparently, they are mad about my baby's name. Thanks everyone
No, you wouldn't be a horrible person
We have 2 indoor cats and they have both been declawed and they are fine. Wish I had done it with the last cat I had as she ruined a very expensive chair and once she found it, you couldn't keep her away from it, no matter what we tried.
Did I mention he's a horrible person?
Just wanted to make that point clear.
Re: "I'm not exactly proud of you."
He's lucky if you don't remove the source of all men's pride and joy, like Mrs. Bobbitt did. Grrrrr.
How horrible. My family and I are so close.
I cannot imagine even using such terms about my family.
How horrible. The cowards always kill themselves
It infuriates me. Why don't these people just jump off a bridge instead of killing innocent people? He didn't even have the guts to face the consequences of his actions. So cowardly. I will be praying for the victims and their friends and family. I would bet money that the NRA will be having one of their rallies in Omaha in no time - they're always so sensitive about these things  I can't believe the murder rate in this country. It's sickening.
That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example.
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.
i think febreze smells horrible -nm
x
Just want to vent about a horrible thing
A friend of ours died of pancreatic cancer. Went to the funeral, fully expecting to see her husband - they were together since high school, kids, grandkids. Turned out he divorced her & left town when she got the diagnosis.
What a scumbag. I can't think of words bad enough. Just needed to tell somebody.
Ok. I am feeling so horrible as a parent right now. My 2 year old son has a sm
wicked case of the chicken pox. Apparently, I missed his 18 month appointment which I completely forgot about - I mean, they make it 6 months in advance and then don't call to remind you about it (I'm not trying to escape responsibility)...So now he is running a very high fever of 104.0, is itching like crazy, and I feel so bad. The doc told me today that he shouldn't have gotten the illness (saying it sarcastically because he knew I missed the appointment)! Talk about adding to my misery.....
has anyone done anything like this before? I feel like total crap...You haven't a clue how bad I feel....And let's top it off with this - my husband came to the appointment and all the while I'm getting "drilled" by this doctor - my husband looks at me and says, "Don't look at me like that. It's not MY fault he didn't get the vaccine. You're home all day with them. You missed the appointment, not me!" Talk about support...I have none! 
Not just swollen but the weight gain is horrible
can you imagine gaining over 25 lbs in a 2 week period. I laughed when I read the post above about how we do it to ourselves. Yeh, I nearly died from asthma. When you go to an ER and they don't ask your name nor your insurance company, you are bad off. I begged to come off the prednisone, felt like Puff the Magic Dragon. My pulmonologist told me this weight gain different than regular gain, probably would not be able to get off but I guess I did it to myself, darn it, having that attack and then taking that darn prednisone so I could puff up like a toad. Ha!
Please tell me you're joking about RV, horrible movie, NM
z
Horrible tragedy at Virginia Tech
In Blacksburg, VA. Someone went on a shooting rampage and he and at least 20 others are confirmed dead. My son is in high school but was there today on a field trip. He and his class were walking on campus when a professor took them to a safe room in the basement of a building. My son used his cell (wasn't supposed to have it with him but thank goodness he did) to call my hubby, and he came home from work to tell me. I of course went all to pieces but am a little better now. Just can't imagine what the parents of the other students are going through. They are now allowed to leave as soon as the can find the bus and bus driver. He was sent to another part of the campus. Just needed to talk about this a little. Thanks for listening.
that pencil thing sounds really horrible - nm
nm
I had a horrible sore throat a few months ago and used
a big tablespoon of pure honey and just ate it. I probably over a few hours that same day used a couple more but it was amazing for me, totally worked. I really had nothing here at the house for sore throat that seemed to work. Hope it can help you too.
the term *eliminated* brings horrible memories
*eliminate, exterminate* when it comes to talking about humans (even if the perp here in your article acted inhumane)...
horrible memories, i.e., The Final Solution from 1939-1945....
please find another word....thank you. 
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