first of all, I agree you have a reason to be offended
Posted By: sm on 2008-01-22
In Reply to: Racist remark from tax person - Putoffbyremarks
but on the other hand, she may really have been trying to have (what she thought) was an open and genuine conversation with you.
I went through a period after my divorce where I really questioned why guys who slept around were considered studs while gals who did the same were considered *luts. I asked a lot of questions from a lot of people. Doesn't mean I slept around a lot, but I was curious about the thinking behind the idea of how things could be so different when the only difference was gender.
All I'm trying to say is that perhaps in her disjointed way, she was trying to genuinely institage a thoughtful discussion about racial inequality, even though she failed not to offend, but in her own mind thought she was unoffensive. Some people really do ask questions because of genuine curiosity that has been dormant in their own minds even if they do come across as offensive. Just MHO. Doesn't excuse her rudeness by all means, but just a thought to toss about.
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I agree--not offended here at all.
I think that's what this board is for...a safe haven to talk about things. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry about what you witnessed at all. Seen it, heard it, even lended a hand a few times! We have been through the discord and will probably be through it again. It's always something. Hang in there and please try not to worry. Stuff like this happens...a lot. It's just that not a lot of people like to talk about it for fear of it being verboten is all. ;-)
I agree. The only reason she is on
is because of those x-rated pics of hers.
I agree and another possible reason --sm
is that if she does not like phone calls when her husband is home, perhaps she feels the same way when her mother is there. Maybe she just wants to spend time with her family, at this point. Time for *friends* will come later, after all the initial recuperation and family adjustment takes place. Eight days is not a long time. Give her the space she needs, respectfully. Don't be jealous, just be a friend.
I agree that is not enough of a reason to zap her ....
Unfortunately, that was just one in a long line of issues from her that day.
She was given another chance anyway.
I agree with not snooping unless you have reason
to believe something is going on, but like another poster said this really isn't any different than looking at their myspace page. We didn't even do that but other family members did it for us and we did it for them. Found out DS was possibly suicidal. We were dumbfounded. For the first time ever I snooped in his room and found a couple of other very eye-opening things. No drugs or alcohol but a possible eat-disorder. You just don't think about that when it comes to boys.
He lost a classmate earlier in the year to the "choking game". I wonder if his parents had snooped if they would have found something that might have prevented this. And BTW, couldn't stand my Dad as a teenager and now he is truely one of my best friends. Took until I was 20 for the relationship to really start but now at the age of 40 I am what he calls "his little girl".
I agree also...that is the reason for so many foreclosures now...
stupidity...
I totall agree too. I have a 15yo daughter and i would never snoop unless i felt there was reason.
trust is trust. she has build up my trust and given me no reason not to trust her. i'm sorry but i think reading through emails and snooping just goes too far unless you have reason to suspect something. i do glance through myspace occasionally, but would never read every email. i don't even know her passwords. i think if you are at the point you need to read through every email your child does, you need to reevaluate your relationship and parenting skills. bash me if you wish, but don't be too strict or you can push your children the opposite way to where they will never talk to you and have an open relationship with you. trust is simply trust and should be earned. look at an adult relationship. it isn't a very well relationship if you can't have trust. should be the same with children.
Offended others
My intent was not to offend others - that is why I worked as a wet nurse - so that those who could not breast feed their babies received the immunity and benefits of breastfeeding. I realize that it is not something that every woman can do and I never said that it was for everyone because it is not.
I would be so offended if I were you
I am a really big animal lover and probably would have turned him in for the kicking of an animal, husband or not, just would not be done around me. Secondly, running the risk of catching a disease by the tick thing, I would not live in the same home knowing this. His actions would just gross me out. Whether others killed birds or not, I would not be there, innocent animals all around that this man is hurting! Sounds really like a disgusting life style and I would never want to be a part of that. You are not wrong in your feelings. Do you have children that you cannot leave or just don’t want to leave. I doubt he will change his ways but you could tell him either clean up or you are out of there, might work.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
no i wasn't offended :) sm
i feel like to each their own. my kids didn't sleep with me when they were babies. they slept in their own rooms and actually they fell asleep on their own very well. my second boy would sometimes spit up big time while sleeping, so i kept him close to me anytime he was sleeping, in his bassinet (gosh don't know how to spell that!!).
i see my hubby and his family and although they all love each other, there is no communication whatsoever in his family and they aren't near as close as i am with my mom and dad. i want my boys to grow up knowing they can talk to me about anything and that i'm always here for them. my hubby is the type that keeps EVERYTHING to himself. i'm not like that! i blame his family for not having open communication, and my hubby suffers from anxiety to a certain extent. his family situation is a whole nother chapter!
thanks for your input! 
that's okay im not easily offended
and im EASILY amused.
#7 is very funny
Can I ask some very personal questions? Please don't be offended and you sm
don't have to answer. I would completely understand. but...
When you two got together I'm sure he wasn't exactly over the death of his wife, so how did he respond to you? Was he emotional around you, missing her, etc? At what point were you positively sure that he was in love with you and not still in love with her? I am only asking because of a personal situation in my life and I am curious about yours.
Thank you.
lol, nope not offended at all. Not sure what that means actually.
But, yes, you would think, right? But nope! Actually I have been going to the up-scale and very expensive salons where they have spas and serve you lattes and finger sandwiches by choice hoping I will get good results and they are the ones I have the most problems with!
If you read my other post, where I mentioned the bleach products and what I said about the expensive versus the cheaper products, you'd see what I mean.
But thanks!
Not offended, just thinking with some sense
She is emotional because of what has happened. Legally, you cannot obtain someone elses records - I told her to contact lawyer because this is not a good thing to tell. It is not legal period. She can try to protect but you cannot take the laws into your own hands, well you can but then you might be put in jail. I am just telling her the facts like they are. She can insist on him having testing but again she CANNOT make him do it. Not her call.
nor was I offended. Sorry for your troubles in the marriage. sm
Maybe he just needed some "relief" if the two of you are not getting along so well in the bedroom, so to speak, if you catch my drift.
No! Not offended in the least and as a matter of fact, sm
I never even noticed the imperfections of my daughter's feet. Interesting though is the fact I never realized for the last 20 years that the second toe is longer. Isn't that the sign of a leader? Well, she definitely fits THAT profile :-)
As for the bunions... well, let's just say it's a good thing I work at home...
It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
x
I have often wodered this too. I would also not be offended hear of someones
I have also wondered why those who do not believe in Christ (athiests and the like) celebrate Christmas.
Am so offended by the loading him up so he is more manageable for me comment (sm)
I would NEVER do that. How dare you make that assumption? How rude of you!!
What an awesome post! I agree, agree, agree completely with you.
 You are right on the money in my book! 
I have had several, unfortunately. Is there a reason they did
an ultrasound at 7 weeks and again at 10 weeks? Mine were later attributed to the genetics of my husband's connective tissue disorder, but we were unaware of his diagnosis during that time. However, I am curious as to why they would be following you so closely with ultrasounds at this point in your pregnancy. (((hugs)))
Reason
The reason I asked is because our 3 year-old neighbor girl walks around with hers all the time. Drives me nuts. Like you said, cannot understand them when they talk. I figure if potty trained can get rid of that too. Of course they like to brag about what a big girl she is now, but........
Ok, the reason why I ask, of course, is
the medication you possibly might have been taking but back to the drawing board. I took synthroid since the late 80s and my hairs, yes hairs, about 2 of them left was worrying the crap outta me. Read here and then other places Synthroid was known for causing the hair loss. By the way, it does not get better. Mine had gotten to the point of my wearing wigs and thinking about hair replacement but since overall, hair replacement not an ideal plan for me. I went to endo physician, told him not taking the medicine any more and asked for Armour. The hair is growing back and I am a happy girl. I at 1 time had the real lush hair so the falling out really did not get better until I changed the medicine. Oh, BTW, for the person whose hair comes out more after shampooing, mine did exactly the same, could run my hand through it and it came out in gobs. I feel your pain because I was there also.
No reason given so far...
I think she didn't think AJ could ever be a Tony...provide for her in the way Carm is provided for...just a guess. Love that show, absolutely the best writing and acting bar none! When that goes, so does my HBO, but I do like Big Love too!
the reason they
are taking it this far is because it is a drug-resistant form of TB.
I don't think they are quarantining each and every one of his clients are they? But yeah, if a person has TB and they are noncompliant with taking the medication they can actually be locked up for the period of time that they need to take the medication. Its a serious thing.
One reason might be that
girls are starting earlier, and the younger they are, the more likely mom's help will be treasured. What girl wants to be caught at school unprepared? Also, lines of communication need to be open because back when I was in school, there was no time allowed for bathroom breaks longer than about 30 seconds, so this can cause real management problems if you know what I mean.
This is something I would rather do without and the reason
first of all handing out money to people who do not even file taxes and handing out more money to stimulate the economy only is working against it. You don’t spend more when we are already in a recession. The people paying the most taxes are the ones getting the least out of this. Oh I love the way the gov works. If I get something plan on putting in the bank to draw interest to pay for the taxes I will be charged on it come 2009.
Reason behind my not asking
dont have to count on a job really anymore- doing now because want to- in the past raising family and such -only chump change needed now.
One reason would be
drugs like methamphetamine! Also, the easy times we had for so long are sort of bad for moral values. As a society we think we're entitled to have it all, whether we have worked for it or not. Even gluttony comes from this attitude, I believe. During hard times, sure there was crime driven by poverty, but it was a whole other country crime-wise. Men came back from the war with DRIVE to better themselves. They found wives and settled down to work and make something of themselves. They understood there was some luck involved too, and took it in stride. If they stumbled, they tried again. They had discipline. They expected nothing handed on a platter. That's why they are considered the Greatest Generation; hard times built character.
yes. I did. My son is the reason that...
I started doing transcription. I may not make quite as much as I used to, but I do not have to pay for daycare and I get to be home with my son, not to mention the gas money I save (especially when fuel was so high). I think that working outside of the home was easier than doing all of the housework, taking care of the baby (soon to be babies in a week, or so) and working. Even if I still had to do all of the housework, soimebody else watching my son would make my job that much easier. I choose, however, to stay home with him and work a little harder. What I do miss is daily adult interaction--especially with my husband in Iraq right now.
Yes for some reason or the other....sm
the girlfriend is out of the picture now. Maybe she saw his true colors.
The only reason I could see for not
letting someone work as a nurse or whatever with epilepsy is that they would have to wait a while if they had a seizure to make sure it had not become a chronic problem, just like not being able to drive for a certain length of time after a seizure.
no, that's not the reason.
nm
Right, and men usually marry for one reason
for someone to take over their mom's job :)
Maybe that is the reason for my neighbors
still having their lights on the house, and ON.
The reason they did the 2nd ultrasound was...sm
when I went for the monthly checkup yesterday they didn't hear the heartbeat on the external doppler; however, at my stage they told me before hand that they don't always hear it. They said that since I had the prior miscarriage that if I'd like they could do the ultrasound just so we could see the heartbeat and confirm all was still going well. The midwife I saw was just as surprised as my husband & I that the sonogram gave the results it did. We see the doctor this afternoon after the lab results come back from the blood work they drew yesterday. I am having some light spotting this morning. I'm trying to stay calm in case the sonogram was wrong but know that more than likely the baby did die.
The reason for the Pamelor is
hopefully to get a good nights sleep as the rheumatologist said so important because of my flare of fibromyalgia which has gone on for over a month now. No depression at all and not prescribed for this. I took the smaller dose last night, went to sleep around 11:30 and up with pain at 5 something this morning, so not getting the amount of rest I should. Hurting with the fibro has now put me into shingles. I want to know when the fun starts!!
if there should only be 1 reason to abort
if you are pregnant by rape or incest, do you want to keep the child and explain to that child why he was born, do you not tell the child, and give up for adoption, when there are too many children waiting now, and most adopted children want to know/find their real parents, how does a child of rape/incest feel about themself, does anybody know, and they live their entire life knowing where they came from, and do you tell him who the waste-of-oxygen-and-taxpayers-money father is....
I have tuned it all out for a reason
I hate this happened to all those fine people. I told hubs yesterday the news channels should not be playing information about the killer, giving him credit and showing the ranting and raving of someone apparently totally out of control and that would be what the killer want. I had this "I told you so" morning when the news people said exactly what I had just said yesterday. I get so saturated with watching things like this and getting teary and sad, as in 9/11, Katrina and the like. I intentionally did not look except when the story first broke and then not long. My heart just breaks seeing stories like this and I am trying to keep my nose to the grindstone.
No. Never have been for some strange reason.
//
exactly! and the main reason why a certain--sm
someone does not want the war to end yet...too much money in it for him. blah!
I would think nonpayment would be the best reason to be
x
Thank you for a voice of reason
I think there are more than one or two of us in this predictament. Making the changes I'm trying to make right now is actually exacerbating the anxiety, but I know it's my only way out and in the long-run will alleviate the anxiety. My body and mind have been screaming at me for a year now, I can't live on Xanax to keep this job, I'm getting less and less effective and more apathetic. My spouse is supportive and has recently put his foot down on "no dinners at the computer" and "no vacations where I look at you hunched over a computer," and "tell them to take their vacation policy and stick it where the sun doesn't shine." I think I needed that nudge and am glad for the support, though I still feel someewhat guilty when I don't push myself to the limit.
Quietmoods, you're not alone.
If you would take into consideration this is for a reason
and it has to do with the viability of a fetus. Miscarriages have to do with the fact a baby cannot make it living outside the womb for 1 reason or another. It is nature's way of saying something not right here. I had a miscarriage, was not bothered in that I know the reasoning behind. It is very easy to get pregnant after a miscarriage, by the way. I did and then months later had a daughter. When a person dies even I accept with if it were not to be, wouldn’t be.
reason why I asked
I was wondering if you used one of the cat containment systems such as the one below.
http://www.catfence.com/ Would love to use it when I have my own place.
I lie to mine for the same reason
Everything is a big d*** deal. I've most of my life the past 23 years being a buffer between the kids and my husband, the bills and my husband, etc. It's sometimes gotten to me in big, big trouble. I mean, I do love him, but when I know he isn't going to be home, I actually look forward to it. I'm much more relaxed. I wish I didn't "have" to lie. I wish he didn't get so mad about every little thing from the basement smells to politics. I wish I could look forward to the evenings and weekends, but I just don't. It sounds like several of us are in the same boat.
I think the reason the gay community has been
'flaunting' their preferences is because they feel it's time they had the same rights as heterosexuals, and there are certainly plenty of those making out on the beach, as well. For centuries the religious right has persecuted them. If you look closely, most religions are the root cause behind prejudice, persecution, and violence towards certain groups of people that are of a different mindset.
I happen to have lots of gay friends, and some are 'flaming', so to speak, and others you would never guess that they're gay. But ALL of them are extremely well educated, make tons more money than I do as an MT, pay taxes, support their communities, and in several communities in particular in my area, have taken run-down neighborhoods and turned them into the most desirable real-estate in the area. Some have kids, some have pets, some are artists/performers, others are doctors or lawyers, and they're totally nice people and loyal friends. So if they want to get into a lip-lock in public and I happen to see it, it doesn't bother me at all. Love is love.
The reason OJ got his kids is
he was found INNOCENT by the jury. Mary was found GUILTY and served some time although I do not think enough.
Yeah, it's different, but for a reason (sm)
My husband is older than my mother. :) I think it took my MIL and FIL a while to accept the relationship. Unfortunately, FIL died 6 weeks after we were married. My MIL is 67 and I am 28, but I have much more in common with her than my own mother. She just started going back to college after not finishing high school years earlier (she started having kids at 15 and got a GED instead). When her husband died, she quit smoking nearly right away and really blossomed. I find her totally inspirational.
My husband's brothers and sisters have accepted me. My husband's grown sons have accepted me as well. I think it was weird for everyone at first, wondering what this young chick was doing with the old dude. Everyone got used to it.
So yes, I have been accepted. His family loves our little kids. My oldest child (from my first marriage) has been warmly accepted by everyone as well.
wonder if there is a medical reason?
might ought to know the reason before the remedy.
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