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positive thoughts for a friend

Posted By: angry for her on 2007-11-26
In Reply to:

Let me start by saying I can't believe how low some people will stoop.  Just when I think I have heard just about everything, something else comes up.


My neighbor is the sweetest lady you could ever meet.  The whole family is very nice and very giving. I have known them since I was very little and she used to babysit me and my sibs.


Three years ago, her daughter was a junior in high school and ended up pregnant by one of the "jocks."   They dated for over a year but as soon as she ended up pregnant, he would have nothing to do with her (typical huh?.)  I might also add that while his family is fairly well off, her family is not as fortunate but they are comfortable.  The daughter decided to keep the baby and raise him with the help of her family since she was not getting help from the father of her little boy.  I have kept him on occasion too and I just love this little guy. 


Stacy finished high school and struggled to get her nursing degree, making a nice living for herself and Michael. 


Last April, Stacy's dad passed away suddenly and now that everything is settled, she and her mother have come into some insurance money.  Not a gigantic sum of money but nothing to sneeze at.  Let's say its a couple hundred thousand.


After almost 4 years of nothing from Michael's father or his family, he's come back around again.  Of course, he has heard there is some money now!   Apparently daddy has cut him off for some recent bad behavior and I won't say what that was.   Not only that, his mommy now calls Stacy all the time wanting to see her "grand baby."   Oh BARF!   Give me a break!  Michael will be FOUR very very soon and NOW they want to see him?


Something really stinks.  


Please send Stacy positive thoughts.  I don't think she will give him (dad) the time of day, nor grandma either since she encouraged him leaving her behind but, you never know.  


He really broke her heart when he just started pretending he never even knew her.  He doesn't deserve her or Michael.


 


 


 


 




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sending positive thoughts
Hope everything works out for you. . My brother and his daughter have barely spoken to each other for over 12 years. . He now has 2 grandchildren. . I hope he will make that same first step you are making to mend fences. . Life is short - it's time for you to enjoy your grandchildren!
Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. SM
I hope your son realizes we all make mistakes (including him) and that he finds it in his heart to forgive. Your grandchildren need to know you and vice versa. I truly hope it all works out for you. My dad and I were estranged even after I repeatedly attempted to reconcile and he died without ever meeting my children. So sad.
Friend's question, was wondering if any of you had any thoughts, TIA.

She is postmenopausal in her 50s.


Also, can you research something for me?  I’m having a major issue with body odor that I have never had before.  This has been going on for awhile despite changing my soap and deodorant.  I’m thinking it may be something more than usual (since I have never had a body odor problem before, even as an athlete) because of a couple of other things:  I have had some swelling under my arms (intermittent) and some pain (infrequent).  I’m wondering if there are glands under my arms that could be infected or inflamed that are causing the problem.  I don’t even know what produces body odor.  If I knew what produced it, then I could find out if anything can go wrong with it and cause odor where none was before.  I even still smell immediately after bathing and using shaving cream and deodorant soap!  It’s milder, but I can still smell it.  I am only able to wear my clothes once before having to wash them or dry clean them not to mention the social discomfort this causes.  Any thoughts or ideas?


 


The doctors still haven’t figured out why my hands are swollen.  I’m wondering whether whatever is causing inflammation in my hands could also be causing inflamed glands that produce odor.  Who knows.  Would like to resolve both these issues sooner than later!


a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...

Are you positive...
you don't have deer?? I have to keep a cage around my roses because the deer think the buds are a delicacy. I just had all of mine lopped off last night by a hungry deer. What makes me the maddest is that they sometimes leave a mess and don't even eat them all, just cut them off. We bought this stuff at Home Depot called Liquid fence. It smells terrible, but the animals won't eat what is sprayed. Your roses won't stink though if you like to cut them for the house.
Try to be more positive sm
I am trying very hard to see my cup as half full, not half empty. I hope I can carry this throughout the year. In the meantime, I have only a few days left to "work on it" so I shall start practicing.  Hope I can keep it up. My husband says I could be president of Worriers Anonymous! I think I can, I think I can - I shall! Happy New Year! Good subject.
We have to think positive.

and hope that it dissipates.  Big hope, I know.  I don't want to go through that again, either, only this time I will stay and hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 


No, we are absolutely positive about where and when -sm
it was left, I will be checking the schools L&F though just in case the guilty party returns it to there to escape detection.
Thanks for the positive feedback
I was just sharing a story.
Thanks you all for the positive posts.
I didn't think anyone would tell me not to let him go and that is exactly what I needed. I guess all along I knew I would not be able to keep him here, my heart would hurt too much to see his heart hurt if I did say no. I know I am supposed to just turn it all over to the Lord, but sometimes that is really hard to do. I will continue praying about it and I know that will help give me some peace. Thanks again to all.
I am 50! You are younger than me. How is that for positive??? nm
.
Well...have taken 3 different self-assessments & all 3 are positive! (sm)
score is about 7 out of 10 on all of them. I don't know whether to be upset or happy. I guess I should be happy because maybe I can get some help with it.
thanks for all of the positive responses!
I did not think i was being negative at all, but here are two responses I got:

So you say the "only" things they do is fight for our country and rights and help out in times of need. What do you think that consists of? How many lives have been given since 1776 to secure and protect those rights? Have you ever looked at the freedoms we have and the wealth we enjoy? What more do you expect the military to do? Wash your clothes. We are the only truly free nation in the world and it is because men and women have chosen to join our military and fight to give you those freedoms that you don't seem to understand.

and



Ma'am, thanks for giving me a subject for my Memorial Day speech in our community. The subject will be:

Americans who have no idea what military heroes have done and are doing for us, thereby humiliating our sacrifices.
anything positive come out of this letter?
x
Gee thanks for the positive feedback
I beg your pardon but I am certainly NOT spoiled. I have been in a marriage with someone who likes to point out all my flaws and correct me constantly, someone who told me I am just average looking and someone who has not touched me in over a year. I am staying for my children and have been staying for the last 6 years I've been miserable. Don't you dare judge me. Have you ever had your self-esteem taken away, your self-worth. A husband should tell his wife and think that she is beautiful, not average my dear.....I feel worthless and hopeless and ugly and hurt so please refrain from calling me selfish and putting me down - have enough of that already. Words of encouragement are needed.
Your Positive Event of the Day
Your Positive Event Of The Day

What is something good that has happened to you today?

Even something as small as having a candy bar you enjoyed.

positive things
1. The sun is shining (even though it's 0 degrees out).
2. I am warm and able to work in the comfort of my home.
3. I have work! Yeah!
I turned 40 today! Please tell me something positive about it!
x
Thanks for all your positive help, case closed sm
I am going to close this query now. I have had many wonderful e-mails and help on the board which I can print (well, most) and make a little portfolio for him to get some ideas. His wife has been working double shifts nursing to make ends meet and he has been caring for the kids and doing all to make the holiday reasonably good for them. He's been doing all nighters on researching and the company is very impressed with all the research he's done on his new job and product and are going to travel here to meet him and work with him to get him started, Everyone is positive and anxious to make this new innovative product introduction a success. There are no coincidences and paying it forward has been our family's way of life and we are grateful to all who e-mailed and posted positive little hints to ease the transition, we are from a small rural area and am not familiar with that area. Thank God for good people in the Christmas Spirit. I've helped many on the boards throughout the years under another name and feel fully rewarded. I will continue to pay it forward myself and God bless you great people. We had a death in his wife's family over the holidays which we were unprepared for and travel arrangements, funeral plans, babysitting, eulogy, etc.had to be prepared, and you made our life so much easier and renewed our faith. I will close the subject now, it has been a lesson in life, that's for sure.! The end - Merry Christmas to those who passed on their holiday helping spirit. You helped us through a difficult time. Thanks so much to the helpers (and I made some new wonderful friends.).  God Bless!
Great and positive post. - nm
xx
Positive sayings from your childhood

What sayings do you remember your parents telling you?

Do unto others as you would have them do onto you.


that doesn't sound very positive!!
x
I think I remember it because it was a very positive experience...sm

you guys don't know how much you actually helped ole MTME4vr (that's me) thru some very dark days. 


It did get kind of strange and intense with all the crazy anecdotes and side stories during the guessing games.  Call me weird, I miss it terribly!!  HAA! HAA! 


Then everybody ended up either sick or injured, that was a rough spell!  


Hey do you remember the story about one of the gang, think it might have been MTSara, went to the door and her neighbors were out in the yard arguing in their underwear??  ZOIKS!! 


 


What's the penalty for testing positive?

How long before they can straighten up and test negative?  Does this mean for the rest of their lives, they will never receive any welfare benefits becase they smoked a joint? 


Would I the taxpayer have to pay for the drug testing that is performed this one time or multiple times?  Would I have to pay more taxes when people are homeless?  Would we need more homeless shelters?  What would this cost the taxpayers in the long haul?  Is every applicant tested?  Where is this information for the results of the drug testing stored, in a police database?  What type of rehab if the test is positive would be offered, if any?  Would the person serve time for being under the influence?  Would this cause me to have to serve jury duty more often?  Would they also be screened for alcohol?  What type of future ramifications are in order if and when they do get a job?  Would the prospective employer be notified that welfare was not granted due to drug use/intoxication? 


Not an easy task is it?


 


I am glad yours had a positive outcome..sm
my father died of cancer, liver, lung, brain cancer. An alternative treatment put him into remission for a year. He then took the *traditional* medical route and died within three months. I guess I have no faith in doctors any longer and certainly not in traditional medicine, as I view 99% of it as $$ driven and not true patient care or concern, dictated to us, the patients, the human beings,by the pharmaceuticals, insurance companies, and traditional physicians who have been cubicaled into *standard operating procedures* which are shoved down our throats, and now court ordered, as the only means of survival, all the while depleting our bank accounts and sentencing some to an untimely death, wherein they throw up their hands in disgust, saying *well, that one didn't make it, guess we'll try it on the next one and hope for a better result.* We are only guinea pigs to them any more, vessels to be tested on, and pushed aside when their precious *treatments* do not work. There is no compassion any more, for the human body. Doctors see themselves as gods, thinking they, and only they, hold a persons life or death in their hands. Their egos have gotten in the way and $$ and greed have taken over proper patient care. Personally, I have no faith whatsoever in traditional medicine any more. The *miracle* happens when one's own mind decides that it does not want to be ill any longer. We heal ourselves, if we allow ourselves to. I have seen it work miracles where miracles should not be expected. I have also seen it take a life when a life does not want to go on any longer. State of mind is everything. Doctors and pills, and vicious chemicals that ravage a body and destroy the soul, are not. But that is just how I have come to feel from the experience of *modern medicine*. No bashing intended towards you or anyone else. Just offering another perspective on things. Like you said earlier, agree to disagree, and on this subject, we totally disagree. That does not mean that either or us is right or wrong. We just had different life experiences. I am glad yours was a positive experience...mine and *Joel's mom*, not so much. So, I will stick that fork in myself now, as well, as I am just as done.
Loving these positive responses. Feeling much better about it now!
nm
Results came back positive...I have breast CA.
Will correspond with you via e-mail.
I think it started in the movie Clueless - not positive, but I think
nm
Proof positive that time-outs are nothing but

positive press & Amazing story

http://www.wdsu.com/video/18244963/index.html


http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/12/10/dnt.dog.saves.family.kwtv


Good ideas, positive thinking sm
We need more kindness around here. I try to stop and let someone through a line of traffic when everyone else ignores them. Most times I get a wave and a thank you, sometimes just a dirty look, but hey, I tried! Don't have to spend money or do anything spectacular, sometimes just a smile or a "go ahead" in line at the supermarket when they only have a few things and you have a carriage full helps someone out a little. What the heck, does make you feel better as well. Karma. Are you the type who gives people a break (or do you give them the finger)????
Not Positive, But State Employees' Salaries

RE: Has anyone every had positive prenatal testing for Down and then found out everything was fine?
\
Daughter was 4 y/o with headaches. Turned out to be positive for Lyme. Never
s
When she does something good, PRAISE HER. Reinforce positive behavior with rewards.
Lighten up, Mom. This is your child, whom you unconditionally love. Maybe you need Nanny 911 or Super Nanny who seem to be able to see under currents of passive agressive behaviors in parents when it comes to their challenging children. This may be your fight as much as your daughters. I say this because you are so dependent on getting others to be on your side.
My thoughts

I hope you don't take this the wrong way but have you thought about having him tested for drugs?  I work in a psychiatric facility and have seen first hand what methamphetamine is doing to this country.  As a parent, I would certainly want to know if my child was doing drugs (hope this is not your case) but it's better to be safe than sorry.  I would check with your local hospital, police department, prison or even psychiatric ward to see if there are any types of programs that would give him a first hand look at what drugs can do to you. 


I advise you to take the upper hand.  DO NOT let him threaten you in any way.  In my opinion, the children of today could use a few good smacks.  As parents, we should be allowed to discipline our children as we see fit (within reason).  This is how it all begins, believe me I've seen it at my job.  Parents literally have to put restraining orders on their children for fear of harm.  Again, I hope this is not your case.  I wish all the best.


Take care 


My thoughts -
It really sounds like situational anxiety to me. You have had a lot of life stressors hit you at once. I went through very similar feelings as yours with also waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep for hours on end and so jittery with my heart pounding during the day I thought I would trip over my own feet and/or have a heart attack. I chose to not use medication because I tend not to do well on many meds. What I did do was make SURE I left myself enough time each day to unwind. Nothing makes you feel worse than not enough sleep. Try a bedtime ritual of a bubble bath and hot tea. When you wake up in the middle of the night take huge, deep, relaxing breaths and force all thoughts out of your head. I call this self-soothing. It does work for me. Is there any way you can get a massage on a regular basis? You would be surprised at how much benefit that can have to your overall well-being. Remember, you are no good to anyone if you do not take care of yourself. Best of luck to you. :-)
My thoughts. sm
If you have Jesus in your heart, no person, no store, no nothing, can take God out of your life. 
Thank you for your thoughts.
Yes, I did wonder if may be he is doing something else. He did tell me that he gets a buzz from this. I have no idea why. I will have to "grill him" for more answers.

I know all about the college life. They are totally, for the most part, on their own. No Mom or Dad around to watch what they are doing. Since we had a problem with alcohol over the summer, I am sure he has been drinking at college. I can only talk to him about the dangers of this, that it is illegal since the drinking age where I am is 21 and all the other stuff that we parents tell our kids. It is a matter of will they listen and take our advice. I will keep talking to him, because I love my son very much, but in the end he is an ADULT NOW, as he has told me, and I can only so do much. It is HIS LIFE. The discussions and talking will go on.
Here's my thoughts ...
If they have been making partial payments, apparently they do not have enough income to continue paying the full rent wherever they are living. They should take this as an "opportunity" to get into a cheaper-rent location. This will also buy them some time on collections for the $1900 past due amounts.

I know how hard it is to be in financial straits. Having made a full recovery and living responsibly now, I can say without doubt that poor credit scores are well deserved. It takes poor planning or complete lack of plus poor spending plus poor budgeting plus living beyond means and not ensuring one has adequate compensatory skills to get there. It is very painful no-excuses realization to make in owning up to personal financial disaster.

This could be a great chance for them to evaluate how they truly got into this situation, what they could have done to have prevented it, what they can do in the future to avoid it again, and start fresh.

Lower rent right now, a change in spending habits, build savings, and increase income -- this is the only way they will actually change this living situation permanently. Anything else is just a quick but expensive (not to mention waste of charitable resources if they cannot maintain their current rental) extension of the inevitable.

Wish I could give an easier suggestion for them. If it hurts enough, they'll make changes and avoid it in the future and that can be the silver lining in this very difficult circumstance.


My thoughts
They have heroes! Unfortunately, they are Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Nicole Ritchie, Eminen, all those gang rappers, etc. : (
My first thoughts on this -
I have never personally had a 40-year mortgage. Get a mortgage calculator and figure how much interest you will pay over the life of the loan for both the 30-and 40-year mortgages. That alone might help with your decision. Is this to allow you to buy more house or just to get into the market at all with lower payments? If you are in a very expensive market then it might be the way to go. However, I am not sure I would want to pay all that extra money to the bank for a longer loan. Just my two cents. Good luch to you. :-)
some thoughts

Historically a lot of islands (Australia for one) were populated by undesirables transported from other places to get rid of them. 


I had begun to think that (with all the mention of the people being found dead) the island was the afterlife - remembering existentialist (was it Camus or Sartre - No Exit) theory that He**ll is other people. 


Still mulling a lot of this over - Locke may really be dead - they have gotten rid of less people this season thus far.   More thoughts later.


my thoughts
Mobile homes are very nice nowadays compared to before -- and built better, but they just are not built as well as a home. It may work well for you, if you find the right place to put your mobile home, but you still have hassels of repairs, don't you? What about a reasonable condo or townhouse -- they're built better, safer in storms, and don't depreciate so much; and your condo association deals with some of those repairs, ie roof, and does the outside maintenance. If you go with the mobile home, might want to check out the used ones -- as they depreciate like a car, immediately!
Good luck.


My thoughts
It sounds like she is definitely good at planning an over-the-top wedding and honeymoon, but the fact is that that is between your dad and her. Sure, you can fume all you want and maybe what she is doing is not right because of the cost of it, but it is their life and their plans. Smile sweetly and wish them well. You will be seen as a much bigger person if you just go along with their plans rather than trying to insert your ideas where they are not wanted. Good luck with this. I had a similar situation several years ago. Confrontation does not pay off here. Trust me, being nice as pie will let you sleep easier at night. :-)
My thoughts...
No matter what I weigh, my toosh expands to at least the width of my chair.
my thoughts, as well.
nm
Thank you for your thoughts..sm
I am not one to take meds either and that is why I have stayed away from the family doc. When it first happened he wanted to put me on something, but I am of the belief that a pill only masks what is wrong and you have to learn to deal..and feel..with what is going on. Thank you so much for your thoughts and the hug! I have been looking into some counseling, but we live so far out in the country from where their offices are. Maybe when the kids start back to school I can do that. Thanks again.
My thoughts exactly
That thought crossed my mind a hundred times. The only problem is we are new to the area and don't know anyone here. Sure wished we had our own place where we could just take her but some things are beyond our control.
Just thoughts
but horrific rib pain can be either costochondritis or a rib fracture.

(You can fracture a rib playing golf and all kinds of weird ways).

Shingles pain can follow around a rib. Is it nerve pain?
My thoughts...
Something like that, 38 and 18 sounds to me almost like child molestation because 18 is still so young. If talking about people in their 30s and older, I'm not sure it really matters. I was married to a man 12 years older who was very active and young at heart. I am now with my current husband who is 5 years younger and he acts like an old man. lol So there you go.