steps
Posted By: AAS on 2008-06-10
In Reply to: Oh honey...go take a pill and have a stiff drink too... - beentheretoo
I don't need pills or booze, but I am not surprised that you do. Child abuse is not okay. I have contacted a moderator to request that they track down this nut job and report her to the authorities in whatever state she lives in. She sounds unbalanced and dangerous, and in my opinion this poor child needs to be protected. They also need to make the child's father aware of the venom this woman is directing at his child.
It sounds to me like this child is simply responding to her bratty behavior and she is the one who needs to be reigned in.
Unlike you, I do not believe that child abuse is acceptable --- most people do not take pills or alcohol to forget that fact, obviously it helps you, though.
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steps
I agree with you and feel very deeply for this poor child. This woman is hateful, immature, and a dozen other adjectives that I could add, but they just would not change her bad, bad, bad, bad behavior and attitude. Wonder if her husband knows she is trash-talking him online --- would love to here his opinion of this situation --- since she has unilaterally decided to air her dirty laundry in a public format. Who is spitful and immature????
steps
Example of what??? Someone who supports children rather than those who abuse them?
steps
You be gone --- find someting to do rather than supporting this freaks abuse of her husband's 5-year-old child.
steps
If I am a nut for not supporting child abuse, then a nut I am.
steps
Thank you for your warped insight. I do not, in fact have low self esteem --- that belongs to those of you who think that a 5-year-old child deserves this type of abuse.
Maybe your stepdaughters were on to something they saw in you.
steps
better annoying than warped enough to support child abuse.
take steps
start documenting on a notepad what happens and when. Keep the note you found. definitely contact the police for further documentation, and ask for extra patrols. Maybe they can even "investigate" the possible "friends." If it were me, I'd keep outside porch lights on, and keep a loaded gun in a safe/quickly accessible place (if no small kids in house). There is too much tragedy going on nowadays to ignore this kind of thing. It is NOT something to ignore.
baby steps
Start by throwing away what is broken, stained and full of holes. If I can't throw that away, I make a rag bag and put it in the garage for checking the oil.
start with small steps
It does sound like separation anxiety. I've had this. I start with small steps -- going out and driving around a couple of blocks and then coming back home again. Then I increase the amount of time I am driving little by little. She knows Mom will be back this way and over time has gotten used to my being gone for hours. She had been abused when I got her and was a wreck emotionally so I hope this gives you comfort.
I also keep the atmosphere at home the same when I go out as when I am home -- radio playing, lights on, etc. No drastic changes except for me being gone. My pets like New Age. Puts them right to sleep. (me too sometimes).
If you have an answering machine, call home and just talk to the dog as you would if you were there. Let him hear your voice. He might just think you are in another room, but with your dog he might tear down the doors to get to you so I don't know about this for your circumstances.
I also have a roomy crate near my desk and I keep a pair of slippers near it. I have a couple of cats and a dog. They all argue over who's crate it is, as they think it is their "special place." The door is left open all the time. Often I find them all in there snuggled up together. But this gives them a feeling of a special place whether I am here or not. They have their place, I have mine. I think this helps when I am gone because I often find my dog has dragged her favorite blanket over to the crate while I was gone. My scent is on the slippers and that comforts her.
Also, bringing home a treat helps!
I have a cat who pries the cabinet doors open and curls up inside the frying pans. Now I have an obstacle course of buckets, etc. to climb over as I work at the counter! (If I move them, I forget to put them back until I hear him close the cabinet door behind himself.)
There are more tricks out there somewhere but I can't remember any of them. Hope you find something that works for you. That's a BIG problem in more ways than one!
Some men don't see the little steps that lead to affairs...
What I am seeing that are red flags include...
1) She has chosen to discuss her relationship/marital problems with a married person of the opposite sex - this 100% creates an intimate situation between 2 people that should only exist in the relationship/marriage.
2) She has chosen to discuss her marital problems with her clients - this is not really appropriate client/professional behavior. She is looking for a personal connection with someone.
3) She has accepted a fairly large amount of money from a client given to help her personal situation and not as a professional thank you - this is setting up a deeper intimate relationship. She is looking for a provider.
4) Your husband seems to be filling a need to be important and a hero in someone's life by giving her this money (I agree with hero concept below but sex isn't necessarily the solution) - he is responding to the deeper intimate relationship. He is being the provider.
5) He is mad at you and telling you that you are being stupid about this - he is invested in this relationship enough to defend it.
For every step he takes forward, the relationship has a chance of becoming more serious. As each little step that he takes becomes okay with him, the next step is a little closer and a little more natural. While he may never get up 1 day and say I am going to have an affair, he is about halfway down the road and might not realize it yet.
I strongly suggest talking with him about it. Food and sex is a not a cure for this one. Make sure he knows that you are not comfortable with this and you are both done seeing this gal as a hairdresser.
The FIRM is great. I built 2 steps for it. nm
nm
Bad idea...unfair and taking steps backward.
This segregates a group out and discriminates against others. It says one group of citizens deserves more special attention or situation than others.
If homosexuals want to be treated like everyone else, they must extend this through every aspect of their life.
It wasn't easy for women or blacks to get to vote or have any of the rights we do today. This group will have to fight for theirs, as well.
I also want to point out that there is no way to shove the homosexual agenda down the throats of those who are opposed and make them like it.
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