venting about son
Posted By: marilyn on 2007-12-05
In Reply to: He's a little...off. - Completely stressed out.
I am so sorry about your son. I know how you feel - I have been there too. My son is now 31, has schizophrenia, lives with us at the current time. We started with the problems in about 4th grade and went through counselors, doctors, hospitals, etc. forever. I know how hard it is to make the decision to place your child somewhere. Absolutely no one can tell you when the right time is. My son has been in the hospital several times, some short term stays and some long term stays. The longest time was when he was 15-16. Eleven months in Topeka, KS at Menninger Children's Psychiatric Hospital. We live in IL, so it was quite a trip. He did well there, but relapsed immediately upon discharge. Most of these kids with severe problems do need 24/7 maintenance to stay on track. It will get to the impossible stage for you both emotionally and financially, as well as physically. There are good group homes and there are bad group homes. If you go that route, check them out thoroughly. My prayers are for you and your little boy. Children like this will always be "our little boy/girl" to us. God's Blessings to you today and everday. Email me if you need to vent or just want more information. I have taught a class for NAMI and would be glad to listen.
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Venting sm
I just need to vent a little here.
I drive an Explorer that's pretty much on its last leg (9 years old). We're waiting until next year to get me a new vehicle. My husband, on the other hand, drives the newer Taurus (only 2 years old).
I drive my 7-year-old daughter to and from school every day and also to jump rope class, etc.
We plan to get the Explorer fixed next month. In the meantime, I have asked my husband if I can drive his car (the newer one) on a couple of occasions, but he basically ignoerd me and I always ended up driving the Explorer. Well, yesterday I told him I need to drive his car until the Explorer is fixed. If I didn't have my 7-year-old with me, I probably would continue driving the Explorer.
He finally left his car for me to drive today, but he is so upset about it. I don't understand it. Shouldn't he want his wife and child to be in the safer, more reliable vehicle?
I don't think I should have to beg him to drive his car, especially since I'm driving our 7-year-old all around the city. I also don't understand why he is upset.
Somebody help!
venting...
I am not in the exact boat you are in. My child is 9. But my husband is as messy as a child. LOL!
If I had a 26-year-old daughter a home she would have to help out. I mean she has a free place to live so why shouldn't she help? I would tell her certain things she has to do. Like cook a few nights a week. Help clean even if it is on weekends when she is off. She needs to help you. As for your husband ask him to help you our with cooking sometimes and just pick up after himself.
venting to
Probably the next time your husband complains about not being able to find a job, he should not say anything in front of your son.
It would seem that your son perceives he was raised in a way that was unsympathetic, and so he is not feeling much sympathy for you either.
I am not sure if that requires an apology, but you can always request that a kid shut up and keep their opinions to themselves.
Venting update sm
Thanks for all the support and input.
I'm happy to say my husband is no longer upset about us switching cars. In fact, he told me I can drive his car as long as I want. I don't think he realized how unsafe it was for me to drive the Explorer.
He's really a good husband/father, but we just had a problem with this car issue.
Thanks again! I love this board!
My mom and the kids- venting! (sm)
My mom came to visit and watch my kids while I work - I am paying her because she needs the money. My children are a 10 year old boy and a 7 ytear old girl. They are generally well-behaved, never get in trouble at school, get in trouble sometimes at home for the usual kid stuff, but they are basically nice children. My mom has a tendency to joke and play around with them a lot, but then gets offended when they try to play back. Yesterday they were feeling comfortable with her (only see her a couple of times a year) and they both dressed up in "spy" costumes and came out to spy on her. When she "caught" them, they pretended to do karate chops and kicks - which they do with me regularly, very softly, never to inflict pain. They did this to her and she is very angry, saying that my children "hit and kicked" her and that if they are bad again she is going to spank them. Also, she has varicose veins on her legs and my daughter asked her what are those "cracks" in your legs? So she is offended about that and therefore when my chubby son walked in without his shirt on this morning she asked, "what's wrong with your belly or is that just fat?" She has also been arguing with my son trying to convince him that there are ghosts and demons on earth (even though I asked her to stop) and when he said there were not, she got out the Bible and was trying to show him passages to prove it until I came out and made her stop. Is everyone's mom like this?? Do they just forget that children are young and don't think like adults??
venting and angry
My daughter had this same problem 2 years ago. I finally called the doctor, and the nurse asked me if we have animals. I told her that we did, and she said that they need to be treated as well. So, along with treating my daughter, bagging all her stuffed toys, vacuuming and steaming everything else she had been in contact with I bathed the cats in a shampoo for animals that helps treat lice. We didn't have problems with them again. Maybe you should find out if this child's family has pets, and if so, make a suggestion that they treat them as well. I know this is a frustrating and expensive problem, but as was stated earlier, I think educating the child's mother is the Christ-like thing to do. If she gets angry about your help/suggestions, then you know that you did your part. Hang in there!!
Just venting somewhat about depressed parents sm
I feel the need to vent a little about my parents. I talk sometimes with my hubby but he doesn't give much input. I'm close with my parents (I'm 36 they are in their mid 50s). My dad has always been controlling and negative (causing stress on our family). I'm an only child. I'm not going to go into deep details about stuff. My parents are not financially stable. My mom is a hard worker, always has been. My dad hasn't worked for almost 9 years. He rehabs houses when he has one to rehab. They are down in the dumps I think because of money. My mom gets stressed out with her job and then not having financial help from my dad, that stresses her. My dad is a negative person. He lost his mom when he was in his 20s and I'm not sure if he believes in God. He doesn't have faith at all. He gets jealous when my kids stay the night with my in-laws (my parents like my in-laws). There's no talking with my dad. The one time I tried to talk to him about something he said to me that hurt my feelings (I was 30), he didn't talk to me for a whole week. Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy. My hubby and I are fine financially, with our faith. I wish I could sit them down and talk with them, but there would be nothing but negative talk coming from them. I know that really you can't help someone unless they are ready to help themselves. It's really hard to say exactly what I feel. I love my parents, I want them to be happy, but then I feel like YOU are the only one who can change your life, or what makes you happy. I don't want disconnect from my parents (they live a mile from us). If my dad would just go get a job, I believe he'd feel so much better about himself. Anyway, I'm really sorry for rambling on like this. I just don't have anyone to talk to. I sometimes feel responsible for my parent's happiness/unhappiness. But growing up, I could never do anything right to please my dad, so I guess that's why I feel that way. There's so much I could type about, but not going to. There have been numerous times I thought to myself that I wish my mom would've never married my dad. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Every year same old, same old at tax time Venting-
My husband and I never fight ----- until April. Then it's constant for about 2 weeks. 
My hubby is self-employed. We've had a couple of rough years and for the past 2 years were unable to pay quarterly taxes. When tax time rolls around, bang! We're fighting like cats and dogs! He complains about how much he has to pay in every year I really don't blame him, as it seems like in his line of work, a lot of deductions are not allowed and it sucks.
In reality, we gotta get on top of the quarterlies again. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. He said he didn't make any money last year, but we still have to pay in over $8000 to the IRS. I really don't know how this could be either. Then he threatens to sell his equipment. Now for the next 3 months, all I'll hear is the complaining (putting it nicely).
It upsets me when we fight, but I'm tired of hearing it all the time. I wasn't even going to tell him how much we owed but I didn't know where to get the money to quietly pay off the IRS.
Anybody want a wonderful husband for the next month or so? Just until he gets over it, then I want him back. (only kidding---he's a real keeper ).
Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how to get around this crappy tax thing, please let me know.
Since when is venting spiteful and immature?
You obviously have some bitter feelings on this topic. I suppose you were in a stepfamily that was all love n' peace?
Sick of the stereotyping... Not bashing just venting a little
I am the VERY PROUD mother of a well rounded well behaved 16 yo daughter. She doesnt make all A's but she does well. She has more worked more community service hours in the last year (as well as the past five) than any one we know of. BUT she is given hades by teachers, parents, and just about anyone who does not know her because they can tell just by looking at her that she is TROUBLE. The judge her because she wears gauges (ears only) likes baggy jeans (always wears a belt) and band T-shirts (usually black) and big hoodies or jackets- very similar to the boys in the pic. People are SOOO JUDGEMENTAL her friends have to sneak to be around her because their parents think she is a bad influence yeah my non-drinking non smoking baby girl who was home on prom night by 1030 because the "other kids were getting crazy".
Please before you judge kids think about how you would want others to treat your child. To quote my daughter " I am an individual! Not some mindless twit that just follows to belong!". So just try and remember how you would like your child/teen to be treated before you judge/react to someelses child.
Take care and have a MERRY X-MAS and dont forget to hug your teen.
Hope venting made you feel better...
The thing that struck me the most in your post is that you help a friend by listening to dictation. Is this during *your* work hours? If so, try not to answer the phone. I know, it sounds so simple, but if you have kids, this can be tough. Anyhow, if the friend asks why you are not answering, tell her you need to focus on getting lines so you can pay your monthly bills (stress this!). Maybe she will get the hint. I had to do this when a coworker called me constantly. I'm a sole income earner so can empathize. As for the friends working when they were asked not to, well, unfortunately, it is a supervisors/manager's job to handle. Hopefully s/he will take care of this. Good luck.
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