what is

Posted By: normal on 2008-12-17
In Reply to: Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon

A couple of things:
If I was married to someone who would not have sex with me, lied about secret credit cards, bad mouthed me at church and buffered and negated my relationship with my children, I probably would not go get them from a car accident either.

You do not have to paint him out to be a monster to leave, just leave. Everyone at church doesn't have to be on your side first and your kids don't have to be on your side first, and we don't have to be on your side first. If you don't like this guy anymore, then leave.

Complete Discussion Below:

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Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon
- I don't why people don't talk about this... - sm
- he sounds immature, and nuts. - quietly take kid and leave. nm
- Men that hit do not change... - phillygal
- Perhaps I'm playing devil's advocate or maybe I need a - Reality Check
  - In her defense, it sounds like people she knows haven't been of any help. sm - Confetti
- I'm wondering if you've tried - sm
- My take... - allkeyedup
- For the sake of your son and your - Been there
- I'm sorry but this is a - nobrainer...sm
  - What's funny is that for a long time I did not realize it was all abuse (sm) - anon
    - You know, I can believe that... - good men/bad men...sm
- I am NOT even going to ask sm - MT 35 years
- leave - ky/mt
- Just a shot in the dark here, but - truffle
- Please be careful - mommyof3littlegremlins
- National Domestic Violence Website and phone #... - clemmie
- Thanks to everyone who replied. I am sorry to know that (sm) - anon
  - Have you questioned the no sex rule? - ...
    - sorry, you got me on a roll (sm) - anon
      - no but i also don't stay married to someone who treats me like dirt - ...
        I understand that, but when you deal with a person like this (sm) - anon
        how are you protecting your sm - wondering
        Because he is trying to get 50% custody (sm) - anon
        did it cross your mind that if sm - wondering
        Yes it has all crossed my mind. Have you been in this situation before? (sm) - anon
        been there, walked out and sm - wondering
        If that true, you've got some real aftermath issues - sm
        Interesting - you insult me but you are not going to answer me? (sm) - anon
        it just gets better and better, I sm - wondering
        Not trying to reconcile. Trying to get witnesses (sm) - anon
        church is a coverup for sm - wondering
        This reminds me of.... - sm
        FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE - GIVE HER A BREAK - SM - Solamente
        for the love of Mike Rowe? - yes
        because she has been sm - wondering
        You are still full of rage. - sm
        keep analyzing and she will sm - wondering
        Yes. I did the same. The only thing different - sm
        if this woman keeps subjecting sm - wondering
        I know it sounds dumb, but this is the truth (sm) - anon
        You don't sound dumb at all, only like - sm
        He hasn't hit my child in 8 years, because (sm) - anon
        No way this person has had direct experience. - sm
        that's where you are wrong. Read sm - wondering
        Since when have belittling and scare tactics - sm
        I know someone who went the route you are saying (sm) - anon
        Good grief, they deserve a safe sm - wondering
    - Even if I was to try to overcome my lack of desire for him (sm) - anon
      - No offense, but this is a no-brainer - Captain Anesthesia
    - Not sure what you mean? (sm) - anon
      - Oh sweetie, I just have tears in my eyes for you - sm - Solamente
        Yes, leave and move to another state if possible, at least don't stay in the same town - suprmommy3
      - next time you wake up, tell him you stuck - ...
- it's abuse duh - nm
  - How rude ! - Anoni mouse
    - why not just ignore my post and be on yours - nm
      - May I introduce you to my husband? I think you would get along (sm) - anon
        why fly back at someone sm - wondering
        maybe it was 1958 when the cop told her this? - just a thought
        very funny! 50 years ago sm - wondering
        ...umm...no...i wasn't alive in 1958 - just a thought
        yeah well I was three years old sm - wondering
        it was about 3 years ago and if I can turn him in I want to (sm) - anon
        now you are making sense! sm - wondering
        no thank you, i don't want him - nm
        He probably wouldn't want you either. - nm
        this saddens me - to think that some jerks wouldn't want me - well boo hoo - i have higher standards
        Don't kid yourself. If you had any class at all, - sm
        maybe i have no class - sm
        No you wouldn't. But some women would. The PTA president last night (sm) - anon
        then you should definitely let the PTA woman have him - sm
        Maybe not, but you sure deserve him. - Birds of a feather
- Let me clearly state that this is abuse on many levels. - sm
  - Thanks for your encouragement (sm) - anon
- what is - normal
  - TO: What is...normal - westcoastMT
  - What is YOUR problem? - MQQA
    - prayers and doers - normal
      - If receiving anonymous help, prayers, - sm
        this does not make any sense to me - normal
        Don't think this is consensus seeking. - sm
        Thank you so much! It really, really helps to know someone gets it (sm) - anon
  - And I have not asked you to be on my side (sm) - anon
  - I am not painting anything. Apparently you have no life experience (sm) - anon
- Pardon the bluntness, but you need to get out... - phillygal
  - I agree she needs to get out but disagree with your reasoning - sm - Solamente
    - I am afraid it would just infuriate him (sm) - anon
    - Restraining orders also depend on - phillygal
- You need to get your son into s/m - MI-MT
- husband - MT
  - A few things . . . what state do you live in? - OldMT

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