Been there, done that.
Posted By: Anon on 2006-02-24
In Reply to: 5-year marriage falling apart - newbie
I have gone thru something similar. I was divorced with a son and after 3 years I met someone, who wanted to be my son's best friend on and on and I thought I had found Mr. Wonderful. After the second one came along, he started with the same thing. No matter what my oldest one did, it was never right or good enough. I approached him once about this and his answer was that "he didn't come out of me so don't expect me to treat him like my own." I should have picked up on the little flags he dropped along the way "oh, when I was growing up I did this and that" and expected my son to be just like him, but even when my son tried his hardest to please it was still not good enough. This then turned into the name calling, "your worthless, good for nothing son, he is just like his old man." When in fact, my son was a straight A student and has never in his life give me an ounce of trouble. I just had enough and sent him on his way. To this day, I can kick myself in the teeth for having allowed my son to go thru all that. You shouldn't have to look for a loving step-dad that will take your son fishing and help you clean, as clearly you are doing this on your own. If you think he is "approachable" sit down and talk to him about this when your other son is not around. You may then get a good idea on what to do with your relationship, as you don't want to have to live seeing your son trying to "please" someone, who is not even his own father. I have been now on my own with my 2 sons for quite a while and couldn't be happier. I'm not sour at life, but just a little wiser and had my eyes opened to the reality of of being a divorced mother with children.
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