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Even if they anger you.....sm

Posted By: Peaceful MT on 2005-08-19
In Reply to:

try to keep your cool and don't respond.  If they know they're getting a rise out of you, they'll just keep coming back.  Ignore them.  If they make you mad, you've let them win.


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First, don't say anything to her in anger - sm
Let it simmer, give yourself a few days to think about what you want to convey to your MIL AND your son, then call her over for a sit down.

I have had to do this more than once with my MIL. Scary for sure the first time, irritating the second, and third time was okay. Hopefully there won't be a fourth.

Although my situations were not quite the same, the same resolution could work for you.

AFTER you calm down, and I know this is hard to swallow, make a list of the parenting rules that YOU lay down and expect to be followed by everyone, including grandma.

Next, explain your reasoning behind those rules.

Explain how upset you were that those rules were not enforced by someone you trusted with your children and how it makes you hesitant to leave her with that responsibility again. They are YOUR children. Hers to love but yours to teach and raise to be responsible adults.

Explain to her that her role as a grandparent is just as important as a parent but you have the ultimate responsibility of making sure that your children grow up to respect authority and any time she goes against your wishes, that it teaching them that your word does not matter in the end.

Once you clear the air with your MIL. Sit your kids down and have the same chat.

I have always told my kids that if they get into ANY kind of trouble, minor or major, I had better hear it from THEIR mouths FIRST. If I have to hear about it from someone else, the $1*% is gonna hit the fan!

Punishment will doled out accordingly but I gaurantee that the punishment will be much more severe if I hear about anything second hand. PERIOD!

By the way... grandma is still sometimes difficult to get through to on the parenting thing but... I promise you that my kids DO tell me if they are in trouble. Even for things they really aren't in trouble for but aren't sure. They tell me EVERYTHING.

Good luck Sista!



I have so much anger in me towards the
people on this board I am going to unleash it on you guys.
Why the anger?
You didn't mention that you were waiting a year but we were supposed to know that?

You were given advice about what to do and how to go about doing it. What more do you want?
What anger?
I don't see any anger in her post . . . she even put a smiley! No YELLING or anything. It seems she is just looking for advice.

Why are you angry?
ESL Anger
Yes, I relate. When I get really angry I have a margarita! I can't do that too often because basically I am a nondrinker. This ESL anger comes on for me every day and I would be an alcoholic, so I kick back in my chair and imagine what the reports would look like if I typed them "verbatim" - this in turn cracks me up and I laugh. I guess the bottom line is to try to find a way to laugh, because that is all you can do. Sometimes I give them names (ESLs). My favorite one is the one that sounds like that guy from Taxi, remember Andy? Swear I have one who sounds just like that. I have others as bad or worse. I also try to imagine what they look like and dress them up in strange costumes sometimes. If all that fails, run a mile. I did that once and it almost killed me, so now I just go to my ruminations and nicknames. See what happens when we are anal retentive about blanks? I have one that I have a fantasy of driving over to his hospital and luring him onto a boat headed back to his native country! He is screaming for help while I wave joyfully from the pier.
anger
I think I agree. I haven't even started working and I find this great website where I can talk to new people (MTs)and get some feedback but lately everything I have been reading is people lashing out! I am getting a little discouraged with this site.
anger
That was a little harsh wouldn't you say? Unless you've been there then don't judge!
There is so much anger in all parts of the (sm)
transcription community, that I'm seriously surprised that it hasn't resulted in something really terrible.
Talk about anger
Nan didn't sound angry at all to me. It was a very thoughtful, well written post. You sound like you got up on the wrong side of the bed.

BTW, just because someone has the title of QA doesn't mean they are qualified for the job. Of the last 9 "feedback" reports I have received from QA, I have a challenge on 8 of them!!
anger management
I really think that humor is a good tool for anger management! Friends will send some really funny emails that will just crack me up even when I am in the worst mood ever, it always helps...or sometimes just going for a good run to burn off some steam? There are a lot of things, also I like to look up at the big guy and ask for some help there, that helps me quite abit!!
anger management
I love it!!! What a fun game!
Anger management
Just get away and go out for a brisk walk and possibly a swim in a pool if one is available. Go for a hike in the woods. I can sympathize with you. We do not have an easy job and it can really test our metal at times.
look, i understand our anger, but not
where it is directed. The workers don't deserve our wrath! it's the companies that send our work abroad, it's the clients that just want the bottom price, it's the government policy that makes it lucrative for same. Those MTs are just like yourself, trying to make a living. If the tables were turned, would you decline a job saying, "no, i'm not going to take it away from the MTs across the pond"...of course not. At the MT level, we're just all trying to keep our heads above water.
You have some real anger issues!
I don't think the post called for the venom of your answer.  You must be quite an angry person.  I will pray for you.
Wow! Lots of anger here..am I on the right board?...
I could swear this is the "other" board. (Not to be mentioned or I will be deleted from here.)

I can only guess which company you work for, but maybe you should be blaming the company instead of the MTs. I am an SE (IC), and I work a pretty steady schedule, as do a lot of SEs. There has been a chronic lack of work at my company recently, but I KNOW my company has lost huge accounts lately, and has shifted those MTs to other accounts (yours and mine maybe?) This spreads the work too thin. My company has also, possibly, overhired lately, which also spreads the work too thin.

I sat from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. yesterday with only 10 reports. Luckily, at 6 p.m., Dr. transcribemeifyoucanski started showing up. Got three of him in a row and was starting to get touchy and depressed when, after 8:30 (my usual quitting time is 8p.m.), here comes Dr. Iamdifficultalsobutdrtranscribemeifyoucanskimakesmelookgood came along, so I kept pushing on until there were no more (8 in all, all the above doctor). Still did not get in my usual line count, but came within shooting distance.

I am not blaming the other MTs for my lack of work, and not even blaming the company entirely. After all, when they lost those accounts, they COULD have just laid off their MTs. I wouldn't want that if it was MY account they had lost! I don't even know if my lack of good dictators lately is the result of cherry picking or voice recognition. My good dictators have, for the most part, vanished.
Such anger! Clearly uneducated and frustrated.
accept responsibility or you're going to be pointing fingers into thin air for years to come.
You truly have some anger problems. Maybe you should look into medication for yourself.
x
You really need some counseling and anger management
tsk, tsk, tsk
What's your anger management strategy?

I'm finishing up a day of the most horrendous ESL I've heard in a long time.  I don't leave blanks, even if that means spending 20 minutes on a 1-minute report trying to figure it out.  This in turn causes me much distress and I know I'm not alone, as others frequently mention the pitfalls of ESL-hell.


After I finish posting this, I'm going to go outside and do something to release this built-up anger that will probably get me hurt.  How do you guys do it without going absolutely insane?!? 



Talk about anger management! SM
I work for that famous company that has 70% of the work done in India. Well, those Indian MT's must be great at ESL's, because I have been getting less of those and more of American doctors going a mile a minute. When I receive them, they sound like they are on fast forward. I can slow them down some, but that distorts the sound. I have never had a problem and I have been doing this for close to 20 years. I feel I have been emotionally machine gunned with dictation.

I would love to borrow (from below) anyone's dog, hatchet, margarita or, for that matter, anyone's ESL report. Thanks for letting me vent.
Without repercussions? You get to cause anger and hurt and probably make some
innocent people sob their eyes out. Boy, are you a monster, or what? No repercussions. 
So much anger you harbor! I am wondering why you let it upset you
so much. It certainly is not worth the anger you are demonstrating in your post
gees where is all this mistrust and anger coming from? sm
not EVERY man cheats on his wife and not EVERY man is guilty until proven innocent. Where there is no trust, there is no love and therefore, no relationship, just control and ownership. That's not marriage. Just because you got burned once does not mean that EVERYONE is out to burn you again. no wonder you are divorced! sheesh.
That's called a typo. Seems your anger is just a little misplaced. nm
//
IMO, anger toward India and its people is misplaced. sm
Refocus your anger, if you must experience it, toward the system here, which values cheap labor over accuracy.
No problem with the anger the OP showed towards home-schooling?
I didn't spew venom, only pointed out the obvious, kids are kids are kids. Anybody who thinks that people home-school their children to keep them away from "bad kids" is greatly mistaken. The minority may be for that reason. The majority have real reasons for their conviction to home-school.

Some people choose to home-school because their kids are the bad kids. Some people are forced into home-schooling bad kids by the public schools who can't handle them. It does happen, I've personally witnessed a friend being put through exactly that.

But, thanks for pointing out my venom (it was not intended as such) and thanks for the prayers.


jeeze louise, lady! Talk about ANGER?

Have you seen Anger Management with Jack N? Worst movie ever! nm
d
Talk about anger...anyone who posts a high IQ score is a pathological liar.....
So, are you saying that no MTs can have high IQ scores?? Just because you don't, we all have to be pathological liars? Sorry.