children in foster care
Posted By: Amy on 2006-08-29
In Reply to: I agree..I just think - TM
In response to the Wednesday's Child, I've seen the film clips on the national adoption/foster websites. They do that in several major cities. I always want to grab each and every one and hug them and tell them how special they are. It makes me so sad for them.
Regarding adopting an older child if you already have children, I agree that there's something to be said for having an infant if you have no biological children of your own. In most cases, private adoption agencies do give childless couples priority. However, each family is in a unique situation, so exactly how old the adoptive child would be has to match their needs and yours. For example, some of the children aren't to be adopted by families with younger kids, etc. In my own case, I'm not necessarily looking to adopt an infant girl, but I would rather have a younger child. After talking to my 16 and 11-year-old sons, I'd prefer that she be younger than 11. This is because they feel they'd be able to bond better with a younger child and truly think of her as their sister. It's very important to me that this be a family decision and not just my own. It's scary to think of what some of those girls may have been through, and to bring an older girl into the house with my oldest son could actually be risky. You sometimes hear of children acting out after abuse, and I'd never want to put him in a position of false accusations. Of course, I'll have to worry about all this as we get further involved. After all, we've barely begun the process.
Thanks for the comments. Y'all are great!
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Kinship care versus foster care/adoption
Having been placed in a position where I now have custody of my 3 YO granddaughter and going through the legal system, I sought an online network of relative caregivers for children. I would encourage you, especially since you are in Georgia, that if you take any children into foster care with the idea of adopting them, there is federal law that requires the state to take certain actions in a specific time frame. When a child is removed from it's bio parent(s), the state is required to investigate any possible relatives who can take the child before foster care is considered, but even before that, reunification with the parents is the priority. Once a child enters the system and is in the system for 15 out of any 22 months, the state is required to find permanent placement for the child.
The problem with this is that there are case workers who may favor a foster family and do not seek out relative care. I have a good friend in Georgia who had to fight all the way to the state level to get custody of her grandson after the child was placed from the hospital into a foster care home with the promise that the foster parents would be allowed to adopt. She has now adopted her grandson, but it was a long, hard battle to get the state to admit their own interests were placed above those of the child and/or family.
If you get a child placed through the state, please make certain there is not a relative who wants that child before you get your hopes up. The courts are now favoring return of children to relatives even after a child has spent years with a foster family who hoped to adopt them.
States get bonus federal funds by complying with the time lines and being able to close the case, so some states place children in foster care because it is easier than trying to locate relatives.
Didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I can't imagine my sweet bella going to someone outside her family.
DO NOT place them with state foster care if at all possible sm
they say they are here to help us but knowing insides to the system, that is wrong. there is no such thing as temporarily taking your kids til you are on your feet as there should be. if you feel you can't make it with the kids, place them with friends or family and leave state services out of the picture. that is the worst you could ever do for your kids. if you heard a few reports that i type, you would be shocked. if you love your kids, pull through it with them. food stamps can feed them. do you need clothes? I have 4 ages 13 to 5, i can send you some clothes. the families that go through tough times together are the ones that stick together and are much stronger in the end. i disagree with the poster to dump the husband. he is sick. mental illness is just that, an illness; unless there are other things you didn't mention.you should be able to get disability.state should pay TNAF for children. HUD can give a home; yes, may take a while but i bet if you expressed to some agencies around you about how you need internet to work, you would find someone willing to offer that help to get you on your feet. at least you are trying and they will see that. we have a PATH where i live and they will pay house pymts, rent, utilities, food, clothing, etc. can you put up flyers to clean houses or something that would be within walking distance for you? i would pay someone to help me out, lol. the kiddos might could even pull their share and help out. we have a place through the unemployment office in Texas that will pay you to go to school if you have lost your job. it paid my way to school for transcription; i got gas money, books, pens, childcare, everything i needed. yes, my credit is ruined from living off credit cards during that time but i am making 45k/yr now. best thing i ever did. it was designed to put people back in the work force again. go to McD's if needed long enough to get some wages to get you back into a house and utilities and you can build back up from there.
So I don't care for my children because I
choose to work my job. Because I choose to be done with work at 5 and not have to work all night as my children play at my feet. Your absolutely right! That makes me a horrible mother. I mean wanting to give them the social graces, the ability to interact with other children and spend the evening with them without my computer in their face--what a bad mommy I am!
I have children, and paid child care so what is your point?
I am saying this is talked about time after time after time. Now a post saying MTs unskilled, first nonprofessional and now unskilled workers. Talking about wanting to work from home because you want to be a stay at home mother lousy reason to start this job. The post above says it well, you need to concentrate to learn, you have a small baby you need to take care of, something suffers.
I do this job with young children around and neither my job nor children have suffered...
It can be done...
I am a foster parent of 3, have been for about
a year and a half now. I would highly recommend you try to place you children with family or a good friend before turning to the state. After seeing how the system works, IMO, it is not a very good one. I would hate to see you lose your kids because you asked them for help. Two of my FC are about to get terminated from their parents, their mother of which put them in care for "help" and is now going to lose her kids.
There are many, many programs out there to help you. I'm not sure how long you have been married or really what the situation is but given the fact that you are considering this for children tells me you are a decent person because you don't want them on the street. Call a family member or a friend and ask if you and the children can stay with them. You might have to consider placing (or leaving) your husband somewhere else until you can get back up on your feet.
Go to your local welfare office, they might be able to get you something short-term. Try, try hard to keep your family together.
God bless you and your family. I hope things turn out and the world seems like a better place. Just know that we are all hear praying for you!
Penn Foster
I found an in home job right away and they pretty much educated me on everything I needed to know.
Penn Foster
check the chat from 03/01/09 a couple pages ago on this board. No it is not a good school.
Penn Foster Question
Thanks for your reply. I had been looking at Penn Foster, mainly because Andrews and M-Tec are so far above my budget. However, I had heard it was difficult to get an in home job from other programs other than the reputable top 3. Did you have any problems finding employment graduating from Penn Foster? Did they educate you on the word expansion programs, etc?
Have you tried the Drs. Foster and Smith veterinary website?
Great site!
I hope your doggie's feeling better soon.
jodie foster. Love all her movies
nm
I'm a current foster parent in Georgia and...sm
have e-mailed you to contact me so I can answer your questions.
I want to know if Penn Foster is a good school?
YEAH!!>>>>IM GETTING A FOOT PEDAL!!!!!  
Here's how foster-to-adopt works on the federal level...sm
All non-Caucasian over age 1 automatically get adoption assistance. All Caucasian kids over age 8 get adoption assistance. If you adopt a sibling group that is more than 2 kids you get adoption assistance. All special needs children qualify for adoption assistance. Adoption assistance usually means Medicaid until they're 18 and in a lot of cases the monthly per diem rate is paid to the adoptive family. For the special needs kids, sibling groups and non-white children that meet the adoption assistance criteria generally the fees for adoption are reimbursed up to $2000 - which is pretty much what all of the attorneys charge for these adoptions since Child Protective Services/DFCS does the majority of the paperwork.
We're currently in the process of adopting our 6-year-old foster child who has lived with me since she was almost 5. The adoption should be finalized in January after my husband meets the 6 months residency requirement (we got married in June and he moved here from another state at that time).
As a believer in Grassy Knolls, Area 51, Vince Foster's murder, etc.
I've often wondered lately if the gradual slow down (leading to a halt) in work is part of a grand conspiracy to limit the amount of money paid in UI. It is, after all, based on our income. And the longer they string people along, slowly shrinking the amount of work available, the less money we will be eligible for, when we eventually hit that unemployment line. I believe the amount a company has to pay into the unemployment fund is based on the amount it has to pay out, although I don't know how far back those records go. But since it seems like many seem to be watching their work/income shrink over an extended period of time, it seems like it will be letting the company off the hook for the amount made even a year ago.
Of course, I may be looking at it all wrong. But there was a 2nd shooter and we know about those alien autopsies!
If it was a clinic, it might have been urgent care, but it was NOT acute care. sm
Acute care refers to work in an acute care setting, a hospital, doing at least History and Physicals, Discharge Summaries, Consultations, Surgery notes, Emergency Department notes, and much more, including GI procedures, Cardiology procedures, Neurological procedures, Pulmonary Function Studies. It goes on and on and it means and acute care hospital setting, not a clinic.
I always figure if they don't care about their dictation, they probably don't care about their
nm
Dont care how many languages you took. Care
x
Both of my children, now 23 and 24,
bought their own cars and neither of them had a new car. I don't think it hurt them, either. They both were proud of the fact that they did buy their own cars and I was proud of them, too.
Wow that's a lot! We have 4 children and
we probably will not spend that much on all 4 of them. Glad you can afford it.
May you and your children have the
Merriest Christmas ever! As the Christmas carol sings "God is NOT dead nor doth He sleep." I am so happy your children will have Santa Claus this Christmas, and that you feel loved!! That's what Christmas is all about. I thank you... Merry Blessed Christmas to ALL!
I have 5 children and have had many a
I agree, something for myself would have been neat. My absolute favorite thing was when someone brought me something special, like something they made or had made for my baby. Those are really the things I remember when thinking back on my showers, and the things I still have today.
32/F, three children
x
And what did your children get?
x
I definitely think having children has something
Does she have other children who can help
relieve some of the care? Does her insurance pay for ANY nursing care? I know what you mean. We were all on shifts as well. Is there a GOOD home she could go to? Even one that isn't a nursing home per se, but adult foster care? My grandmother lived in one. It was very nice and had less than 10 residents and people with various types of needs lived there. My aunts and uncles decided to do this (it was self pay) because they figured if she lived with any one child, that the responsibility probably wouldn't end up being shared by all, and this way they were all responsible for her even though she lived separately from them. Is there a hospice/nursing agency that can offer free or cheap respite care? How about through their church? Even if they could get an evening or a few hours away together, that's a start. They need to preserve their marriage too.
think of your own children if you have any....sm
Would you want them to have to care for you? All I want for my children is to be happy. I would never want to put that burden on them and, believe me, it is a burden regardless of how you feel about your parents. Caring for an ILL elderly parent can be a nightmare. Caring for an elderly parent is totally different. I've had to do both and, BTW, so did my parents. My mother, when in her 50's, now 92, made me promise to never try to have her live with me. I have done the same with my children. I do everything I can to help her including bringing her to my home to care for her when she is ill or has had recovery from surgeries. I don't think the "Waltons" is a realistic plan in this day and age. If you want to destroy your marriage and stress your children, move your parents into your home.
If you have children under a certain age...
...you can be excused for years from jury duty by submitting a copy of their birth certificates to the court.
Currently, I'm a single parent with 2 kids in elementary school. I have been excused from jury duty twice now; once when I lived in PA and both kids were just babies and again recently excused from serving or being called to serve here in NY for a few more years by submitting a copy of the birth certificate.
The courts will not force a primary caregiver with minor child(ren) to serve as long as you provide them a copy of the birth certificate.
I would think this also applies to anyone who is a sole caregiver of a chronically ill or elderly family member, but you would have to call your courthouse to find out for sure.
We are not children and by that I mean...
we don't have to go crying to the moderator whenever we feel someone is being mean. I think MT30+'s biggest sin is she's just blunt. Personally, I appreciate straight forward people. I don't have time to pick through all the fat to get to the meat. And, of course, I am one of the blunt people.
I think some need to simply grow up. You can't spend your life kissing your perceived boo boos and tattling on the "bullies." Momma always said the only way to get rid of a bully, is to stand your ground and take your lumps. And don't hold a grudge. Just move on.
children and nitwits
You still don't get it. No matter how old they get, they are still your children but I no longer have the right to make their decisions for them. If your comprehension was good enough, you would have known that as they left my home and started their own lives, I had no further voice in what they did, but until that day, I did have a voice in what they did as far as consequences of bad decisions is concerned. If I am paying for the roof over your head and the food on the table, I do have a say. And being 18 does not make you an adult, nor does 30 or 80. When your child can make good sound decisions about their life and how their decisions impact on others, then you've done a good job. Your silly little cartoon characters in your messagee show that you do not have a command of the English language and I am done with this discussion because it is too complicated for you to understand. I think you probably had your nose and ears pierced too many times and too deeply.
Not everyone is here to "love" your children. SM
I dont expect day care to "love" my children. Geez. I expect them to care for them and watch them when I cannot be there.
I do have to say, however that the day care my kids are in is a close-knit community. The staff is very friendly and really get involved with each kid individually to some extent. Everybody knows everybody, even though it is a fairly large day care. There is a younger toddler room, an older toddler room, an intermediate room, and a pre-K room. As well as a big room for before-school and after-school programs for the bigger kids.
All of the kids in my children's classes are really close. We all celebrate B-days together and even get invited to Christmas parties and all kinds of nice things. They throw lots of events around the holidays. They even have a mom's night out at the day care once a year. It is like a little community. They have lots of safety speakers coming in and educated the kids on what to do during an emergency. I dont see why my kids would not benefit from being a part of something like this.
It is a great thing to be a part of. They treat you like family. I do understand that not all day cares are the same. I went on a lot of tours of local day cares and I picked this one because I could pick up on the vibe that this was not your oridinary day care. They are just such great people. I can honestly say that I love them all. I love the friends that my kids made and I have grown to love their families and also the teachers. They are all truly a wonderful bunch.
I was trying to be nice. Even to children like you
I was only asking an honest question.
I didn't realize there were children posting on this board.
My son is only 15, but he is fortunate enough to have parents that want to help him so that he will not end up being an eternal bitter child, such as those whose parents obviously haven't bothered to realize that there was a possibilty of their child becoming a total waste of time.
And speaking of wasting time, I'm doing just that. And you should be going upstairs to check on your parents.
I believe it is important for children too..
That does still does not mean that since you made a mistake in your life that you are not entitled to the same rights as everyone else. Could've, should've, would've. We can point fingers and tell people what they should have done, but the fact is, they have rights like everyone else. Of course you tend to do better financially when you do things in the right order. Life does not always work like you want it to though. I myself got pregnant while on BC with a man I had been with for 4 years. I had my son before I got married. We got married when he was less than a month old. He was our only witness. We have since had another child. I have never been on assistance, but I am lucky enough that we have been able to work out our problems and keep our marriage intact. If I could do it all over again, I would have waited, of course. We have struggled quite a bit by having kids so young. Life just doesn't always work out how you want it to though. I want my daughter to get married first and then have children, as do all mothers. Those are things I will teach her too.
Sorry, that should be heard Jen did not want children yet. nm
x
my children are minorities
my children are interracial, black father, white mother. however, they dont know the first thing about Kwanza. They are raised to believe that Christmas is about the birth of Christ.
For children, it's best to let them decide.
It can be healing or traumatic. I do think I'd have her go to the funeral home once, set it up so she only has to be there a short time, help her understand it's time to say goodbye and let go (whether close or not). I've been through a Catholic funeral and don't think I'd force a child to be there. It's good that neither you or DH are forcing one way or the other. Talk with your daughter and help her decide what's really best. Just don't let her hide from the fact that she needs to say goodbye to grandma, close or not.
26 with 2 small children.
.
GOD BLESS YOU with 5 children!!! *S*...nm
x
I am 49, two children (ages 26 and 20). nm
x
I have 5 children, two of which have been babies...
It is not always easy, but you do what you want to do. You will make it work if you try and find out what works best for you. Don't put your baby in daycare just to make it easier on yourself. You can work around the baby!
I smile, say "I don't have children, thanks." nm
I don't think anyone said violence against children was okay...
h
WHERE DOES YOU CHILDREN GO TO COLLEGE sm
Maybe our children go to the same college.
I will start
One daughter goes to Sacred Heart University in Connecticut. The other daughter will be going to UMass at Amerst in the fall.
Can I Trade Children - LOL
My daughter is only 12 and it's like pulling teeth to get her to save any money. As soon as she gets some (any amount) it burns a whole in her pocket and boom it's gone. So now I've taken to keeping all the money I give her for her allowance and when she wants something she has to come to me for the money so that way I can make sure she puts some away.
second time. I had 2 children, he had none.
Very good marriage, We have 2 other children now.
I think most people who can't have children
of their own opt for adopting a child from infancy so they too can have the experience of raising a child. Now, if only people who already have children of their own or these celebs with all the money to burn would find room in their hearts for one more and adopt a grown child - wouldn't that be something?
I see mostly celebs getting children from
overseas...that's why they are able to get newborns so easily. A friend of the family recently adopted a baby from overseas. It cost them some money, but they had no problems. Newborns are the most sought after. Unfortunately, it is the older children who are suffering more and need homes. Maybe you should try and find a place for an older child in your home if you want to adopt so badly. Giving up on adoption is giving up on a child, if that is truly something you want to do.
Children with disabilities
I have two children who have mild autism. My husband and I fought the school system for years. The special education department told us, "I can't see your son analyzing novels." He could not multiple, subtract, add, divide, or any simple math that a 9th grader should be able to do. My oldest son is now in 9th grade and has not learned what he should have in public school. After doing much research, we came up with a plan to homeschool our son and he can analyze novels! He is finally learning! We have our work cut out for us as he is many years behind, but he will catch up. We have had such great success with him that we are going to home school our younger son as well. Home schooling is not for everyone. You will know if and when you are ready to home school when you have had enough. It was the best decision we ever made! For us, it was the light at the end of the tunnel!
Actually, many in our area have children
they have sick children all week long, they don't work, so no excuse there. They wait until the weekends to do all their healthcare for ALL their children, sometimes up to 4 to 5 children. They have all week long to get good healthcare at good clinics that do take their insurance or even at the local health department, but they wait until Friday evenings and BOOM....while others sit in the waiting room that are indeed in need of immediate care.
I believe it is, since they are watching your children & (sm)
in the event of an emergency such as an allergy, should you not disclose something it would not benefit anyone. Especially your child. I do ER transcription and have had kids come in to the ER with new onset diabetes, and the nurse knew to check since it was in the family history, so that is something to think about.
My children are grown and now
I am still working at home. Get to be grandma now. Don't forget $3 for a gallon of gas also.
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