Modern Barnyard
Posted By: Mrs. Bridger on 2009-03-10
In Reply to:
The Little Red Hen called all of her Republican neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'
'Let us do it for you' said the Chinese
'No! Let us do it!' said the Mexicans
'Let us put in our no-bid contract' said Haliburton
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.
"We will!" said the Mexicans.
'Yu to fa away' said the Chinese.
'We will do it if you find us labor who will work for peanuts and don't require benefits' said big corporate America.
'Sorry, said Haliburton, we have the no-bid contract.'
'But, can't I do it by myself,' said the little red hen?
Due to no-bid contract, Haliburton sold it off to cheap labor (Mexicans), and so illegal immigrants did it.
At last it came time to bake the bread.
'Who will bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.
'Due to hepatitis A break-outs, Haliburton decided the Mexicans couldn't bake the bread.'
"The wheat was shipped to China where various ingredients were added to increase the bulk and they decided to improve the protein with melamine and added some anti-freeze to sweeten the dough"
China baked five million loaves and shipped them to the USA to be sold.
The duck got the screaming squirts and blamed it on his stock portfolio imploding.
The cow's milk turned a greenish-black and blamed it on his dwindling 401k.
The goose laid a golden egg and vanished with his golden parachute.
Rush Limpballs grabbed his young cabana boy and bellered in self-righteous indignation "I HOPE THIS COUNTRY FAILS!"
'We need urban hip-hop to stimulate the party!' cried the cow. (Michael Steele)
'Shoot the hen!' screamed the duck. (Dick Cheney)
'Americans can do anything' brayed the jacka$$. (Bobby Jindal)
The pig just bellered in disdain. (Rush Limpballs)
The goose disappeared with the taxpayer's money. (Wall St., Citibank, Bank of America, et. al.)
And they all pointed fingers and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You see how Wall St. and our bankers are so greedy.' 'They even went to churches to recruit poor people, for mortgages they couldn't afford, with balloon payments built-in so they could forclose on the houses and resell them again. They said "let the free market go" and there was no regulation.' So now, your bread is nothing but poison and is worthless.'
'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.
'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our previous administration's lack of regulation, the productive workers must be laid-off, banks were given huge sums of money with no oversight and are now failing to extend credit to keep workers employed. You must now stand in the bread line like everyone else.'
And they all lived under a new cloud of fear as terrorism was no longer as scary as total economic collapse. It appears the terrorists were actually the ones who were previously running our barnyard. The little red hen, fluttered and clucked nervously, 'I am grateful for what little I have, but the future is uncertain and the end is always near.'
But her neighbors started listening to Rush Limpballs and Sean Hannity and they started believing the rhetoric that was constantly hammered into their brains. She never again baked bread because she became so disillusioned by the racism running rampant in her barnyard.
Individual initiative will thrive. The has-been Republican rhetoric stopped gaining momentum. No one believed them anymore.....that's why the majority chose Barack Obama to run the barnyard. Freedom still rings. The have-to-have-it-now society started to die off and everyone started to realize "we are our brother's keeper." The old Republican stand-by "blame the poor" was no longer effective because, it too, was based on lies.
George W. Bush can't even PAY anyone to write his memoirs.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?
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Oh, that is just decay of modern society; found in any city.
Issue is the maintenance and you can bet your sweet probably big butt that if there were mansions (campaign donators) rather than shabby homes but generation after generation of welfare recipients in the way of a levy failure, the Corp of engineers would have reinforced the barriers long long ago.
Losing millions of low income, noncontributing citizens just isn't seen as a big problem, is it?
What can we expect should H5N1 take ahold and go into epidemic proportions may be a magnified version of NO only we will be the unlucky irrelevant citizens. Sure would solve a lot of problems by whipping out 1/4 of the world's population, the bottom 1/4 though, not the top; they are special.
The only problem I can see with what you are describing is 20 years of suboptimal Family Planning strategies. Thanks to republicans right wing religious zealots who have a magical view of life thanks to very effective brainwashing techniques. I see it worked on you.
The Great Barnyard
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. She planted her crop, and the wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck..
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, they DEMANDED a share! But the little red hen said,
"No, I shall eat all five loaves by myself!"
"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, and shouted obscenities at her.
Then the farmer (Obama) came.
He said to the little red hen,
"You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes
our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are
lazy and idle."
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little
red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now
I truly understand."
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her.
She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free.
And all the Democrats smiled.
'Fairness' had been established.
Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed;
perhaps because no one cared... so long as there
was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.
EPILOGUE:
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for the memories from two people,
who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath,
that they couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT? 
...from the Bush Barnyard, but don't worry,
There was a lot of poop left over to be scoooped, but don't worry, we'll get it taken care of.
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