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This Friday is a NO GAS DAY

Posted By: missthang on 2008-04-30
In Reply to:

These have come up from time to time as the price has gone up.  Fill up on Thursday or Wednesday and do not go near a gas station on Friday.  I have seen in my area that this does affect the price of gas for about 3 days - and then it goes up again. 


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Friday . . . Friday . . .

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A little Friday Humor

 


A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, What are all those clocks?
 
St. Peter answered,Those are Lie-Clocks.
 
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on
your clock will move.

Oh, said the man, whose clock is that?

That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.

Incredible, said the man. And whose clock is that one?

St. Peter responded, That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life.

Where's Bush's clock? asked the man.

Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.


Black Friday
That was so terrible!!  I cannot believe that people are so greedy and thoughtless as to create such bedlam...there was no need for something like this to happen.  I hope they find the person responsible and throw them under the jail.  I think BF should be outlawed.  I once went shopping a day after Thanksgiving many years ago and have not since - people pulling items out of others' hands, people cursing at one another...I felt so bad for the people running out the checkout counter.  One checkout girl was so frazzled she began to cry because one of the people in line told her she was 'too slow', and went on to threaten this poor lady..it's a sad commentary on our society, and even sadder that there is a family in mourning because people don't know how to behave in public
Even Black Friday..........sm
wasn't the success the retailers had hoped for. There were several articles over the weekend sayin that, while there fairly good turnouts, it wasn't the big kick-off they expected.
A little Friday humor for liberals ONLY, as
You Know You Are Still a Republican If ...

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION
by Jimmy Lohman

You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.

You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay’s.

You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem.

You support the war on drugs but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly.

You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s kids deserve everything they have.

You like the way George Bush walks.

You think Al Gore is wooden and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.

You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.

You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.

You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world.

You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.

You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.

You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.

You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction.

You don’t believe terrorism has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man.

You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal.

You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.

You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago.

A BUZZFLASH READER CONTRIBUTION

Jimmy Lohman is a musician and human rights lawyer in Austin, Texas, and an occasional contributor to Buzzflash

A jump on Friday humor
Now that the Enron slimeballs have gotten theirs, a look back at some old late-night jabs:

This past Sunday, former Enron CEO Ken Lay went to a church in Houston. On the way out, a reporter asked him how he thought it was going to work out. Lay said with God's help we'll get through it. To which the Devil said, 'Hey, I thought we had a deal.' —Jay Leno

In Houston this week they had an auction for Enron. They sold all kinds of things that were once property of Enron. Lots of good deals — in fact I picked up 2 senators and a congressman. Hell of a deal. —Jay Leno

Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity. —Jay Leno

Playgirl magazine is now offering the men of Enron a chance to post nude. Coincidentally, the men of Enron will soon be getting the same offer from their cellmates. —Conan O'Brien

President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno

Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates. —David Letterman

The wife of Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, Linda Lay, was on the 'Today' show yesterday. She said her husband is an honest, moral man who has done nothing wrong. And today Hillary Clinton said, 'You go, girl! ...She went on to say they've lost all their money. Luckily, they've still got plenty of everybody else's money.' —Jay Leno

Playgirl magazine is planning a pictorial spread for the men of Enron. You thought they were hiding massive deficits before. —Dennis Miller

The White House is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to the Middle East this month. You get the feeling that President Bush's opinion of Cheney has changed since the Enron thing broke? You know a few weeks ago, all they would say about Cheney is that he was in a safe, undisclosed location. He's hidden away. As soon as Enron popped up, they sent him to the most dangerous place in the world. —Jay Leno

The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done. —Dennis Miller

Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid. They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them took a big income hit when Enron folded. —Jay Leno

Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling appeared before Congress. Do you think they even bothered swearing him in? Now he is denying he lied to Congress last week. He's saying it was just the liquor talking. —Jay Leno

The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can be when they realize that wives can't be forced to testify against their husbands. Skilling said today she was the best secretary Enron had ever had. She could shred 950 words a minute. ... I guess they are on their honeymoon right now. That's going pretty well. Hey, he's used to screwing Enron employees. —Jay Leno

Over the weekend, former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Rebecca Carter married each other during a huge ceremony in Houston. The happy couple is planning to honeymoon for three weeks in front of Congress. —Conan O'Brien

The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it. —Jay Leno

In the Enron scandal, whistleblower Sherron Watkins is now calling herself Enron Brokovitch. She testified Ken Lay was duped by the other executives. Oh, yeah. When is the last time you got duped and made $100 million? —Jay Leno

A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying, but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies. —Jay Leno

There are reports that former Enron CEO Ken Lay is missing. And I'm thinking, has somebody checked Dick Cheney's pockets? —David Letterman

President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one Enron bought with all those contributions. —Jay Leno

The Enron scandal continues. The U.S. Senate has announced they are going to subpoena Ken Lay and make him testify. Apparently Lay received the subpoena this morning and then, out of habit, immediately shredded it. —Conan O'Brien

Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay. —Jay Leno

I did not have political relations with that man, Ken Lay. —Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), poking fun at Bush for distancing himself from Enron

The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page. —Jay Leno

Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on. —Jay Leno

It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up. —Jay Leno

It was cold today. I was rubbing my hands together more than Dick Cheney at an Enron payday. —Jay Leno

Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now in a new business: confetti. —Jay Leno

Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied-up in Enron stock? —Dennis Miller
Friday Humor: I think we need this (may be a repost) sm
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.

OH NO! the President exclaims. That's terrible!

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, How many is a brazillion?


Thank you, Emily Ayn. Great Friday to you too! nm
nm
Yet another Obama B/C case this Friday

First rejected by Ginsburg.  Then accepted by Scalia for conference.  Scary.  I wonder when Scalia (the "President Maker) and Cheney last went hunting..'tis the season for "hunting," no?


http://origin.www.supremecourtus.gov/docket/08a469.htm


 


looking forward to Friday's debate

can hardly wait.


 


I guess we will have to wait until friday
Lets see how the 2 candidates do on Friday, should be interesting. Who will come out on top?

I haven't checked the debate format yet (if it has even been announced) but it should be a good show if anything.
We will see on Friday. No teleprompters at debates. nm
.
Elwyn Tinklenberg gets $640,000 since Friday following
establishing another Committee on UnAmerican Activities investigation of members of Congress and Senate.  Add just one more dem to the liberal supermajority.  Way to go Michelle. 
Should Black Friday Be Outlawed? sm
Walmart worker trampled to death by impatient crowd.  Shoppers stepped over him in rush to get to the "goodies.' 

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/retail/2008-11-28-walmart-death_N.htm?csp=34


Couldn't tell that by the looks of the Black Friday
shoppers. 
Friday funny. Yall gotta see this one! (see pic)


Friday funnies for my liberal friends.
Remember the president of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa? Well, he vanished and there were all these rumors and stories and myths about where he may be buried. It turns out now that the FBI got a tip and now they're looking everywhere for Jimmy Hoffa. Everywhere. The FBI is looking everywhere. And I'm thinking, 'that's great, but what about Osama bin Laden?' --David Letterman

The FBI, in their defense, are claiming they have a lead on the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa. They said he was last seen on a duck hunting trip with Dick Cheney. --David Letterman


President Bush also said in his speech that immigrants have to learn English. The immigrants said, 'Hey, you first.' --Jay Leno

He says before immigrants can become citizens of the United States, they should be able to speak proper English ... except for the word 'nuclear.' --David Letterman

President Bush called for the National Guard to patrol the U.S.-Mexican border. The guards will track down and find illegals. That's not their job. They're trained to defend our country -- not track down and find people. Let's be honest, the Guard couldn't even track down and find President Bush when he was in the National Guard. --Jay Leno

President Bush said we'll have 6,000 troops on the border for one year, preferably an election year. --Jay Leno

Conservative Republicans are very worried that there's no way to keep track of these illegal aliens. Yeah, we can't keep track of them unless they start making phone calls. --Jay Leno

I got a call last night during dinner from Verizon asking me if I was happy with my long distance surveillance. --Bill Maher

The National Security Agency has been collecting the phone records of tens of millions of ordinary Americans. I just don't think Bush gets it. When people say these days that we need more intelligence in the White House, they're talking about something completely different. --Bill Maher

The president of Iran has written a letter to President Bush. This Iranian president is very smart. To make sure Bush read the letter, he wrote it on Exxon stationary. --Jay Leno

The president of Iran sent George Bush an 18-page letter. ... 18 pages? Yeah, like he's going to read that. --David Letterman

The president said his brother Jeb 'would be a great president.' I guess we voted for the wrong one then. --Jimmy Kimmel

President Bush's approval rating has dropped to a new low, 31%. In recent memory, only four presidents have had lower approval ratings: the president of Exxon, the president of Chevron, the president of Conoco, the president of Shell.

President Bush told a German newspaper in an interview over the weekend that his best moment since he became president was when he caught a 7-1/2 pound fish in his own lake. See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off. --Jay Leno

President Bush said catching a 7.5 pound fish was his best moment since becoming president. You know the sad thing, a lot of historians would agree with that. --Jay Leno

The head of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned. He said he wanted to spend more time spying on his family. --Jay Leno

The director of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned, surprisingly. I guess on Friday he resigned. He said he wanted to spent more time giving bad intelligence to his family. --David Letterman

[On Bush saying Porter Goss 'led ably'] Ouch. That guy must have sucked. I mean for god sakes, Mike Brown drowned New Orleans and he got 'heckuva job.' George Tenet thought WMDs were a slam dunk. He got the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Led ably? I think the last guy who was said to have led ably was Gary Cherone when he took over Van Halen. You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar. --Jon Stewart

thank you - but it is better - he just graduated basic training Friday -
now he is a MAN...
Hey guys, who is going to the ballgame Friday nite?
You all are in high school, right?
Uhm, Christmas? Easter/Good Friday?
X
Okay, my friends, how 'bout a little Friday comic relief?
Probably already heard/read these, but here we go:

Only in America. Even though he stole 2.4 million he has agreed to pay back 1.8 million to make it right. So let that be a lesson to all you other congressmen out there. If you get caught stealing you may have to pay back a small fraction of what you took ... Don't you love how our system works? So if you're poor and you steal a loaf of bread it's a $200 fine, if you're a congressman who steals $2.4 million you get to keep a 25% bonus. --Jay Leno

Former head of FEMA Michael Brown has opened up his own private disaster agency. That's like Robert Blake opening up a marriage counselling facility. —David Letterman

A hunk of marble fell from the front of the Supreme Court building, a big hunk of marble. I believe it was the biggest thud at the Supreme Court since Harriet Miers —David Letterman

California Congressman Duke Cunningham resigned from office after admitting he broke the law by taking $2.4 million dollars in bribes. It's kind of ironic. The only time you can really be sure that a politician is telling the truth is when he's admitting that he's a crook. —Jay Leno

In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans. —Jay Leno


From David Letterman:

Top 10 New President Bush Strategies For Victory in Iraq
10. Make an even larger 'Mission Accomplished' sign
9. Encourage Iraqis to settle their feud like Dave and Oprah
8. Put that go-getter Michael Brown in charge
7. Launch slogan, 'It's not Iraq, it's Weraq'
6. Just do whatever he did when he captured Osama
5. A little more vacation time at the ranch to clear his head
4. Pack on a quick 30 pounds and trade places with Jeb
3. Wait, you mean it ain't going well?
2. Boost morale by doing his hilarious 'Locked Door' gag
1. Place Saddam back in power and tell him, 'It's your problem now, dude'
He was right here in my hometown (Lima, Ohio) Friday evening (nm)
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