repub utah gov

Politics September 28, 2004

Found on This Modern World, an e-mail that’s apparently making the rounds:

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised. [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of MOST government regulations]

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.  [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to limit workers access to and the power of unions] He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of MOST government regulations that have prevented poisoned food being imported to the  USA ]

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained[Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of MOST government regulations] .

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of MOST government regulations and environmental protections]. He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor. Joe begins his work day. [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of many of the public projects in favor of financing the Military/Industrial complex] He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to limit workers access to and the power of unions] If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.  [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to limit workers access to safety nets in favor of financing the Military/Industrial complex] It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university. [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to get rid of many of these consumer protections and public assistance in favor of the giant financial industry] Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads. (Again, conservatives fought these steps to aid the citizens of  America for the good of ALL Americans) He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. (Again, conservatives fought these steps to aid the citizens of  America for the good of ALL Americans)  The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification. (Again, conservatives fought these steps to aid the citizens of  America for the good of ALL Americans)  He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. [Conservatives (ie McCain/Palin) want to limit workers access to unions and government safety nets in favor of financing the Military/Industrial complex] Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. (And have used smears and lies against liberals that have pushed these agendas)Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.” (sic)