All the above are why my loving

• Wild kingdom in my back yard! - Misha
  • Loved all the nature stories! Good stuff. - Misha
    • Yea, Misha.... - Peace
  • Snakes mean one thing to birds...... - baby eaters
  • Neat story! My husband called me last night on my cell to tell me sm - MQer
    • Speaking of cats getting birds...sm - GLF
      • I had a cat who once caught a bird... - Peace
        • My cat Molly jumped out a second story window - MT in MT
          • WOW that is impressive - Peace
        • I have a cat that does that!!!!! Jumps up to 6 feet - and catches them in mid air/
          • And that is ok with you? - Zoe
            • No, we're not out there saying come on - kitty and get that bird......sm
            • Cats eat birds. - MT in MT
            • Put my animal * up* ??? - Peace
              • No, not feeling better- had a dog - Zoe
                • no, not an exotic cat - Peace
                  • My older girl, Emerald, walks around like an old lady but - Zoe
              • Maybe it was a bird - a hawk! - Misha
      • You were surprised she got it? A cat's instincts for birds, especially, are sm - OP
        • I'd want to slap - sm
          • Thank you!! And to top it off, they dug holes to get under the fence onto OUR sm - OP
        • I can't say that's what dogs are suppose to do...... - sm
        • You wanna mess your cat up for good? - Hayseed
          • That's so funny! sm - GLF
            • All the above are why my loving - Gabby
              • I hear you. I feel so guilty...sm - GLF
                • We found a little ferel cat at some dumpster - sm
                • Your heart is in the right spot - Gabby
    • Nest - ER MT
      • Small birds keep nesting in my ferns on the - front porch...so sweet to watch
  • awwwwww - justme

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I am jealous of MIL and Dh relationship.  There, I admitted it.  It was a huge red flag when we were dating but I ignored it.   To start at the beginning I was jeolous.  I wished now I would have listed  but I didn’t I married him.  Lived here in an appointment but he really considered his home with mommy who was 88 miles away.  He would go every weekend leaving me here alone.  I thought well, he is not married to me or anything I guess he is taking care of responsibility.  He seemed obsessed on the family farm (70 acres) and getting that started.  He and his mommy were working side by side to get “the place” fixed up.  Occasionally, his friend and his wife would invite them camping so he and mommy would take a break with his buddies and camp.  Not so intelligent me was sitting at home, alone thinking one of these days he will figure out what a wonderful person I am and he won’t have to cling to mommy so much.  Boy was I ever wrong.  He took my virginity and that made me want to cling to him tighter.  I shamelessly chased him.  Finally I told him that if he wasn’t going to marry me, I was leaving.  He said okay, lets do it.  Well we had a rush engagement.  DH hated the idea of a wedding he had already been through that once. (This was his second marriage).  He was not very cooperative and kind of rude but I did get my wedding.  At some points in our courtship I thought it was sweet how he doted on his mommy I just wished I saw how dysfunctional it really was.  I think my first clue should have been when he was late for our second date because mommy called him bawling because she and her brother got into a fight. 

Anyway, it was so hard to keep MIL out of our business.  MIL balanced our check books, dh would take me and MIL out of a drive, all outings included MIL.  I told him that I think we should be taking care of our financial bus and dh said “no, mom knows how to do it and besides if I take that from her she won’t feel wanted. “  I asked, who did you marry, me or mommy.  Well MIL is not in our finances anymore.  She did used to go through our mail. I asked her if she was going to be a meddling MIL and she got mad and told DH and dh jumped my butt saying she is only trying to help and a few cuss words. (when the cussing started, I turned out). MIL was upset and she was going to take us to court. I guess she thinks she has rights to his money just like a wife would or more so.  They did have bank accounts together, cc together. 

Any, I cannot write a book.  Just a long story short, I try to put up boundaries and I am the villain. MIL is not a meddler, she is trying to help, she is only being a loving, doting,  graaaadmommeeee.  To get along, I  try to think of her as a break from the kids but the way she interacts with my children sends chills down my spine.  First she would say that is her baby, she didn’t want her baby doing this or that.  She did not want her baby to get sick so I couldn’t  take her outside. She wants to sleep in their room so she can take care of them, she would take my oldest dd in another room and shut the door and undress.  She wanted to take her to the public restroom, (It is like she thinks, DH child is her responsibility, I am just womb donor. It was driving me stir crazy.  She and dh would buddy up on our outings and leave me feeling like a third wheel. And with DD, it was like she, DH and my child were just one big happy family.  Gag. One time dh ask her if she wanted another baby, she said “I love babies.”  GAG.  Bad part is my oldest dd loves her.  She wanted MIL to take her to school this morning, not me.  She is 5 years old.