At 90 it is dementia which makes people

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The reason I ask is that I am in a very unique situation. I have a family member (an in law) who basically hates me. She and I have sort of been at it on and off for 8 years. She's a very mean person, very judgmental, hates everybody. I mean, seriously. It's bad. She rubbed off on me for too long. We were friends! I used to point and make fun at others ONLY when around her. When I finally caught on that she was not a very good influence and that I was so easily pursuaded by her meanness towards other people (backstabbing, etc), I began to keep my distance. And she caught on. Now she hates me. For no reason, really, other than I don't call her anymore, don't hang out with her anymore. And here lately she has been doing evil things to me like returning cards I've sent to her family with a giant "return to sender" on the envelope, getting her sister against me (I mean, come on, how old are we??), etc. She will be at my mother in law's for the holidays with her kids and I am cringing inside. In fact, just today, I received a nasty email from her when I got home saying some pretty mean things, calling me crazy, insane, etc. which I know I'm not, but it hurts anyways to hear stuff like that. She has a very hard time forgiving people, I've seen it over and over in her life, and now it has come to the fact that I need her to forgive me in order for ME to have peace in my life. It's just the kind of person that I am. I am totally willing to look past all the mean things she's done and said the past year and try to move forward positively!

So, fast forward. I've written her an email basically BEGGING for her forgiveness and saying I'm sorry for whatever I've done to hurt you (I know I've hurt her by not wanting to be around her,etc), and told her it wasn't good for us to be on the outs like this. I am pretty sensitive (if you can't tell already), and I really, really, really wish she could get past all of this and just forgive. We all need a little forgiveness, don't we?? What do you think? Why is it that some are so easily forgiven and others will go to their grave filled with HATE? I don't understand it one bit.

I'm not saying I'm any better than she is. I know I'm not. I just don't have an evil vein in my body to not forgive people and I HATE when others talk about others behind their backs. It's mean. I grew up around that stuff and once I reached adulthood and realized that I didn't need to talk about others to make myself feel better, I hated being around it. Give me some advice. Should I send the letter?

Please help me. Would you send it? She obviously needs love. What would you do? Would you just tell her to forget it and move on or would you be like her and hate back?

Hi all. I just want to start off by saying that whenever I post on here I always get kind responses, and I may not always get a chance to say thank you. Wanted to let you know that I do appreciate it.

Here is my latest challenge. I have an uncle who is in his early 70's who I believe is in the early stages of vascular dementia. I grew up watching my grandmother, his mother, go through the stages of this horrid disease. I have a pretty good grasp of what we are up against. Thing is, I was a child when my grandmother started her decline, and boy things are different when you are an adult. I honestly don't know where to turn, who to ask for advice, what to do next.

Here is what complicates the situation. My uncle is divorced, has been for some time. He has no children. He has three sisters, my aunts, living. One is in her 80s, one is two hours away and not in great health, and the third is 12 hours away. The oldest cannot help, given her age, the one that is two hours away has told me that she really doesn't know what to do and that we are pretty much on our own, and the one that is 12 hours away would probably be the most able to help, but she is 12 hours away and has issues with her own family.

It gets a little more complicated. My uncle is a hoarder. He also has been notoriously bad about managing his finances for many years. His house is in a very bad state of disrepair. He is at the stage where he really needs someone to look over him, not live with him but maybe go in once or twice a week and help him with bills, meds, etc. However, his house is so bad that I truly fear it is going to fall down around him.

My questions: I know that he needs help, but I also know that he has to ask for that help (up to a certain point, which would be where we would then go to court and ask for a conservatorship). He is not at that stage yet. If something happens to him, no one has legal medical proxy, he does not have a will, he does not have an advanced directive. We have talked to him about the importance of doing this, but he does not want to listen, even though he admits he needs to do something. He also has not been formally diagnosed. I think he is afraid to get confirmation that he is suffering from the same disease as his mother. How do we help him? What should we do? What is the procedure here? I honestly am at my wit's end. I don't want to pressure him into making a will and other legal documents and have him thinking that we are wanting anything. I don't want his stuff. It is his. But something has to be done. I want him to be taken care of when the time comes.

What I joked about was the possibility of my getting it. Unlike my mother who refused to accept her diagnosis and turned a blind eye to it, I accept that it is a possibility in my life. Sure, I joke about losing my car keys, losing my glasses, even writing notes to my 5 yo child (who cannot even read a note about LTC, duh), but I hope to keep my sense of humor, even if this dialouge is testing that patience more than my life circumstances are.

I could pick you apart right now for your insensensitivity, but I chose to feel sorry for your lack of neuroprocessing abilities and will let it go. Next time you see a sign to commit a random act of kindness, I suggest you not waste the opportunity to build up your karma bank.

1 hour, 53 minutes ago

Lack of folate, also called vitamin B-9, may triple the risk of developing dementia in old age, according to a study published Tuesday.

Researchers in South Korea measured naturally occurring folate levels in 518 elderly persons, none of whom showed any signs of dementia, and then tracked their development over 2.4 years.

At the end of the period, 45 of the patients had developed dementia, including 34 diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, said the study, published by the British Medical Association's Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry.

When the researchers, led by Jin-Sang Yoon of Chonnam National University in Kwangju, South Korea, remeasured folate levels, they uncovered a strong link with the dementia.

Even after other factors were taken into account -- including age, disability, alcohol consumption, weight change -- "the onset of dementia was significantly associated with an exaggerated decline in folate," the researchers concluded.

Folate and folic acid, another form of the compound, are essential for the creation of new cells in the body.

The compound occurs naturally in leafy vegetables such as spinach, turnip greens, lettuces, dried beans and peas and in certain fruits.

An study published last year in The Lancet showed an improvement in short-term memory, mental agility and verbal fluency among persons over 50 who took a daily dose of 800 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid. The US recommended daily dose is 400 mcg.

Taking folic acid before conception and throughout the first trimester helps a mother ensure that her child will not develop certain brain and spinal cord defects, including spina bifida, according to previous research.

This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.

I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.

Life is too short to be unhappy. If you don't love your husband and are not attracted to him anymore, then why don't you leave him? I can't imagine why people (both men and women) stay in a bad, unhappy marriage. It can't be worth the effort.

Thankfully, I am very happily married (though of course, we do have our bad times...) and can't imagine my life without my husband. But at the same time, I can't imagine being miserably married either.

You need to search your heart and really figure out how you feel about your husband. Good luck!

first time you had sex (not that it's any of my business, but I'm just curious).

I was 16. I wish I had waited until I got married. But hormones got the better of me. I was sooo "in love" with this older guy and finally gave in to his daily requests for sex.

I knew about birth control, but was raised that it was "wrong" to use birth control....which is ironic as I was raised it was wrong to have premarital sex too! LOL

I'm just really glad I didn't get pregnant until after I was married, but it was definitely a possibility.

At 90 it is dementia which makes people - sm