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Can you help with questions for intermediate school kids? sm

Posted By: Another KSMT on 2007-09-07
In Reply to:

I'm going to be giving a little bit of a talk on growing up in an alcoholic family and we are supposed to come up with some questions to put in a hat in case the kids don't ask any or we need more.  What do you think intermediate school-age students would be curious about in regards to growing up with alcoholism?  Thanks! 


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Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
Questions about Firefly phone for kids
My SIL just emailed me and said they were getting a new cell for their son and asked if we would like the Firefly for our son.  She had the phone on their cell account.  How do we go about activating it?  Can we pay as we go? How do we get a number for it??  TIA
However, before my kids were in school,
I was a night owl! Worked until like 3 a.m. because didn't have to get up early, but now, they are both in school, so have to get up early and start working before time to get them up and ready and off!
That's what they do at my kids' school sm
Except it's a cheese sandwich & milk, and they are never turned away with no lunch. My daughter is in 5th grade, and her teacher does a collection each year for the pre-K & K students to help out if they don't have money for lunch. This school year they have raised over $400.
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.

Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.

Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.

GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
Kids: Do you wake them up or do they get themselves up for school? sm

I've told our 16-year-old now junior in high school that she can set her alarm clock and get herself up in the morning and out the door for school, on time, this year, and if she fails to get up on time and is late for school she will lose privileges with them increasing for each time she is late.  


What about your kids?  How old are they?  Are they responsible for getting themselves up in the morning and if so, at what age did they start doing this? 


3 kids, but 2 school aged

1.  What ages are your kids? 16yo DS and 18yo DD  (and 21yo DS)



2.  Do they have their own cell phone? Yes, 16yo has a tracfone and 18 yo DD has a Go phone



3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:  No.  We have 1 good computer we all 5 used to share, but that is mostly DD's now that DH and I each got lap tops and oldest DS built a desk top for youngest DS for Christmas.  Oldest DS also has a lap top that he bought himself.  Nobody has a TV in their room, not even the grown ups.  No time limits on use at their ages, but they don't spend near as much time on the 'puters as they did when they were younger.


4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?  They all have jobs, but the youngest 2 get $5 a week for bringing in wood for the wood stove and burning the trash.  Plus youngest DS gets extra here and there for all the help he gives his dad and grandfather on the farms.  Their room are their own business at this point.  I just put the laundry on the bed and keep the doors closed. 


why aren't your kids in school?


No, in the MW our kids go to school to get an acutal
xx
Aspergers/school/kids

Our boys sound a lot alike.  My son was first diagnosed with ADHD, then nonverbal learning disorder, then Aspergers, although the school does not see the Aspergers being a true diagnosis.  He has always been in mainstream classes as he is academically very smart.  We started out with a 504, then went to IEP but he is not in any special ed classes.  His testing scores are in the high average and superior range and he is reading at an 11th grade level in the 6th grade.  I held off on the IEP for about a year because I was so afraid of the stigma associated with it.  No matter how common it is these days, once kids learn someone has an IEP, they're thought of as one of "those" kids and I didn't want him to go through that.  He has been on medication after medication and nothing seems to work in the long run.  We have tried trials of him off the meds but within 2 or 3 days we're getting phone calls from the school asking if he has taken his meds that morning because he is having such a rough time concentrating and focusing.  Not only is he very smart, he is also a remarkable athlete in hockey, baseball, golf and basketball and making the all star sport teams.  He's a great kid with a big heart, but he just doesn't seem to fit in with anybody.  I feel his main problem is with social skills and I have been asking for him to see the guidance counselor at school on a regular basis which has not been happening.  We live in a very rural area and there are only 18 students in his 6th grade class.  They have all been together for the last 6 years and know one another quite well, and by this time the "class order" so to speak is set.  There are two boys who seem to be the tough guys and the leaders that everyone follows.  Unfortunately, my son is on the bottom of the order and is singled out constantly because of his quirkiness.  They will do everything they can to get a rise out of him and think its funny when he reacts.  This has been going on for the last 2 years, this year being the worst.


I realize ADHD is common now.  My son's teacher told me that about half of the class is ADHD but we are not allowed to know who those students are, we can only speculate.  My point is, my son has now been singled out by his teacher telling his classmates he has ADHD so in my mind she violated his privacy rights and has made him more vulnerable to harrassment by kids who are cruel.  Am I right or am I wrong?  He is already being bullied and this will only give them more ammunition to target him.  Already today someone called my son a "sped", meaning special education, although he isn't in special education so this kid has no clue.  Admittedly my son doesn't stand up for himself and he just takes it because he wants to fit in so badly.  But he is hurting and will get very emotional when we talk about it at home.  My husband and I have had enough and it has got to the breaking point.  My husband wants to talk to a lawyer but I'm not sure if that is the way to go.  I told the teacher on the phone tonight I would like to come in to confront the class and single out each one of the kids that are the worst, naming them in front of their classmates and cause them humiliation and embarrassment.  She said that would probably make things worse, which I agree with.  Besides I know I wouldn't be allowed to do that anyway.


middle school kids who need
The library will accept volunteers at age 11. I would go sign up today.

Every other place has insurance restrictions for age.

All the camps around here fill up in February or March, but I would still try to find her something fun to do. Meeting other kids at camp may cost you money, but when she is there she is not thinking about money, just being with the other kids her age.
Kids and money for school things...sm

Here is it is.... January 30th and since January 1st I've been asked by my 16-year-old for:


$90 for a graphing calculator for the calculus class


$85 for school yearbook  (and price goes up 2/1 by $15..she didn't tell me any of this until now)


$30 for hoodie for yearbook club


$15  for drama t-shirt for spring production... which she has exactly 2 lines in and will not be on the stage any other time.


Total:  $220.


I bought the calculator as it was necessary and I know she'll use it again in college.  I've offered to pay half of the yearbook if she'll raise the other half.  For the shirts I've told her to raise the money herself.  The drama team is also looking to possibly go to New York for a few days to take in shows in May and gosh only knows what that would cost... if it gets approved.


She doesn't work and says if she gets a part-time job then she can't do the drama production as they practice 3 days a week until 8 p.m. .... well hello she has only 2 lines in it and isn't even in any other scenes.


I told her to get a job or start offering to babysit for money.  I'm tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death for fru-fru non-essential expenses.... especially since we just spent $700 on car repairs and $250 for surgery on the dog (abscess on foot - she stepped on something at some point and messed herself up) and medical bills are coming in from my husband's numerous medical tests he had in November.    I'm not going to pay for her to go to New York either when that would probably take out entire family vacation money for the summer. Once those numbers come in we'll offer to pay a portion of the cost but that's it.


She also insists she wants to go to college out of state, and her dad and I have also told her she has to figure out how to pay for that because we're not going in debt for that when she can get a free education from the lottery in our state by going to a state school.  She doesn't do any volunteer work, play sports or have any special talents that would qualify her for scholarships. 


I told her that it's time to grow up and realize there is no money tree in our back yard, and I'm not going to bust my butt working extra jobs to buy these things for her. 


our kids have a 2 minute walk from school and
they have already been heckled by meaner kids, they even threw a beer bottle at my 5 year old. I stood behind a fence one day and stepped out in front of him just as he was rounding the corner and told him that if he ever even so much as talked to my kids again I would follow him home and tell his parents exactly what was going on. I told him that I would also talk to the principal, who I know on a first-name basis as i am VP of the PTO. I put the fear of God in that child but I still do not trust him or his little band of siblings he walks with. I almost fear other children more than I do strangers!
My kids dont start school until two days after.. sm
labor day. I usually hit the sales for back to school stuff around this time. Right now I have all our school supplies bought and all our back to school clothes bought. Just need to get shoes, which I dont do until end of August. We usually do a family vacation the end of July first part of August. I also get up extra early every day over the summer so that all my work is done no later than noon. That way I have the rest of the day to play with my kids. My girls are 12, 9, and 6. We put a huge pool in this spring, so we are swimming almost every day. I also try to take them to places like the pottery store where we can sit and paint and just have fun. I try to make all of their days as fun and vacation-like as I can. For the last couple of years we havent really went away for our family vacation. We just find one or two day trips, like the amusement park, zoos, and that sort of thing. So many schools are starting earlier and earlier, but I am thankful that our school system is still on the after labor day schedule.
my kids high school has rats falling from ceiling
For the record, Howard County Maryland was just ranked #1 in per capita income IN THE COUNTRY, yet my kids high school had 6 rats fall through the cafeteria ceiling Wednesday. Last year it was rats and sewage - three separate instances where sewage came up through the emergency shower, dripped from the hall ceilings, and came through the child life development pipes. Oh, sure that was fixed. And how in the world did the health department okay this? I tell ya, we sure do NOT put our money where our mouth is on this education battle. Our team mascot should NOT be Ben the rat!! Just so angry over it all.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm

1.  What ages are your kids?


2.  Do they have their own cell phone?


3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:


4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?


As for our house, here's the answers.  Kids are 15 and 8.  15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill.  15-year-old has a TV.  The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day.  We do have parental controls in place.  They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money.  They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.


Yes, and friends too. But school is where kids learn facts, so whatever their teacher says (sm)
they are going to think it must be right. I think that is unfair leverage to use to support your own point of view as a teacher.
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.

I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.

Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
Questions

I have breastfed and am currently breast feeding and would like to ask you


If you were on the air plan which would you prefer the mother breastfeeding her child to comfort and keep him/her quiet in this cramped uncomfortable environment or to listen to this child scream bloody murder making your trip totally unbearable???? 


Some thoughts:


Children that young dont know how to clear their ears when changing altitudes and it easier to either have them sleeping or sucking.


Also some young children that are breastfed refuse bottles completely.


Older babies do not like to have their faces covered while eating they want to see their mommy and surroundings.


Personally:


I am the mother of a ten month old that will be flying (on a long flight) for the first time next month.  I plan on breastfeeding him if needed and if I do need to I will have my older daughter there to hold a small blanket up as a sort of shielding wall. I am more than ready to be done breastfeeding and am working very hard to get him there as well but because his schedule doesnt agree with mine I dont think that I should be barred from traveling on a plane and I think the other passengers on the plane would prefer I comfort my child to the best of my ability so that they can try and enjoy their trip as well.


The sucky part about is I will be on the mentioned airlines soooooo may be my son wont get to meet his grandparent for the first time because my child comes first always!!!!  Take care everyone and enjoy your holidays I am climbing off my soap box now


you need to ask yourself 2 questions sm
1. Can the bridesmaids comfortably wear a strapless dress (not everybody can)?
2. Do the shoulders need to be covered if the wedding is in a church?

I'd choose number 2.
Two questions

Has she been anywhere that she could have come in contact with bedbugs? (stayed at a motel, slept over at a friend's house)


Is it possible she has been in contact with poison ivy?


We went through a similar problem with my husband a while ago. He has to travel sometimes for his job, and several years ago he picked up some bedbugs from a hotel.


Since then, we have moved to a new house and he got a new bed. When he started itching again we were concerned it was bedbugs, but the rash was similar to how you describe your daughter's rash, and we finally figured out he had probably gotten into some poison ivy in our back yard.


Good luck - I hope you figure out the cause (and cure) soon.


questions

1.You'll never see me watch___? reality TV



 


2.You'll never see me wear___? a designer dress



 


3.You'll never see me eat___?  chocolate covered ants



 


4.You'll never see me buy___? any male enhancement products



 


5.You'll never see me clean___? at all, unless I'm getting company!



 


6.You'll never see me kiss___?  Jack Black, ewwww



 


7.You'll never see me talking___? about wanting to work outside my home


questions
I think a lot depends on your specific circumstances. I got an apartment because he refused to move out. I had planned it for months. Legally though if you leave and the house is in both your names, that's not good because he'll get the house.

As far as the kids, so much depends on their ages but you'd be surprised how much they already intuitively know. Just be honest with them and make sure they know they are loved by both of you, and that none of this is their fault. Give them as much stability as possible and once they see you are happier, their lives will be too.
There are a lot of questions here,
1 being the fact that this "nanny" was supposed to be with the 16-year-old. The police said they are sticking with their story, the Travolta camp saying differently. Supposedly this child had two (2) nannies that were supposed to be with him at all times. If a cover up, it has a lot to do with it.
Some questions sm
Boy this is a tough situation. My first thoughts are to ask you if you feel he has been a good husband. In other words, if this DID happen 17 years ago, perhaps he has changed his ways and become a better partner. However, you indicate you think he's lying to you so I'm wondering if you have trust issues even today. You really need to sit down and have a long heart to heart with hubs and clear this up because it's not easy to throw away 17 years of a marriage and children together.
Well, more questions then
If this only happens once a month, or approximately every 28 days....

How long has it been going on?

Is she gaining weight?

Is there a boyfriend in her past or present?

I've had friends who got pregnant at 14. It happens. And nobody had a clue that anything was going on.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Christmas questions

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?  - Hot Chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?  Mom wraps, Santa stuffs stockings.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored inside, white outside
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No
5. When do you put your decorations up?  When I have time.  Usually get the tree the first weekend in December.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Turkey
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:  Spending Christmas with my mom's parents who lived 2 hours away and then coming home and seeing my dad's parents who lived right down the street.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My cousin informed me in elementary school and took great pleasure in crushing me. 
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I always wanted to, but wasn't allowed, so now my kids each get to open one on Christmas Eve, and my oldest is in college and still likes to do this.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? colored lights, all the oraments I have gotten my kids over the years plus the ones they have made in school since they were little, star on the top.  Probably nothing Martha Stewart would approve of - LOL.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? Used to love it, now dread it, but don't know why exactly.
12. Can you ice skate?  Yes.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Bionic Woman doll
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with my family and Christmas Even services at church and singing all those great hymns.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? pumpkin pie
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas eve candlelight service
17. What tops your tree? star
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Love to give and see the look on my kids' faces when they open their gifts.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?  Yum


Christmas questions sm

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog (loaded).
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wrap them all.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Weekend after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Baked ham.


7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Going sledding in Garmisch, Germany.  The adults went skiing.  Lived in Germany 10 years as a kid, and every Christmas was great there.  Very festive place during the holiday season. 
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 9 years old, my younger brother found all the gifts in the closet  - I was devastated. 
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Leave that to my daughter and grandson.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? I like to look at it, but dread driving in it.   We have enough here in Colorado to share with everybody. 
12. Can you ice skate? I would be afraid to try it now. 
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My first Shaded Silver Chinchilla persian kitten.  He lived to be 20 and I am now on my second one.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Giving.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Irish Christmas pudding with hot Bird's custard. 
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Baking Christmas goodies, watching Home Alone, and homemade Eggnog.
17. What tops your tree? Star.
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Jingle Bell Rock
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum.


Sorry if I ask the obvious questions, but ...
Are you providing scratching posts loaded with catnip, fun toys, that kind of thing? I have had maybe a dozen cats over the years, none of them declawed, and none ever touched any of my furniture (some of it leather to boot)because I started them when they were young with taking them to the claw posts, praising them there, providing toys, etc. Give it a try before you declaw, please!!! Good luck.
thanks for all the answers to my questions--sm
I appreciate the input, even though it saddens me that this would even happen anywhere in the USA!
Common questions that men ask

Questions that I've been commonly asked in the "dating world" since I'm single.


"Why arent you married"


"Do you want kids?"


"Why hasn't someone snatched you up"


"Do you date?"


or when the guy states...


"I'm a really nice guy"


"I'm a great catch"


"I've always been too busy to meet someone special until now"


Another thing..for some reason, I find divorced men who have kids living with their mother to be a turn off.
I feel that they made their families and now they are dating while the brunt of child care is now on their ex wife.
Maybe it's ignorant of me, I don't know. I really admire men who LIVE with their children or I'd prefer to date men who didnt have children at all.


I guess the purpose of this post is mostly a rant..anyone identify with any of this?


I have the same questions except it's a second marriage? SM

A friend of mine is getting married for the second time.  The first time around it was a huge, and I mean HUGE, affair with an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, huge Catholic wedding with a huge reception with food and free booze, etc.  They registered at Macy's and expected everyone to get their presents from there.  There China was over $100 for a place setting!


The couple divorced and now she is getting married again and has sent out invitations to all the festivities.  She's planning another huge wedding and she has registered again at Macy's!  Now, personally I feel this is just wrong.  I think a small tasteful wedding is in order for the second go round and I don't think it is at all necessary to register anywhere for the second wedding.  How much China can one person use?  I mean, she got almost everything in her divorce!


I'm sort of a down to earth, pratical kind of person so Wal-Mart dishes are fine with me, so I guess maybe I'm not the best person to understand wedding traditions and etiquette, but do I really need to go to Macy's and get another expensive wedding gift?


Lots of questions

1. How old is the first house? The one with the sewing room and the carpet coming up?


2. How many sq ft is the second house - the newer one?


3. Have the rest of the houses in your neighborhood appreciated 66% in the last five years?  (from $75,000 to $125,000)


Your husband has a good idea about putting the money in savings for six months to make sure you can afford to pay a mortgage that is twice what you are paying now. And after six months, you will have $1800 more to put down on the house.


This is strictly personal experience - but last summer we moved from a 25-year-old house to a brand new one. We lived in the 25yo house for 12 years, and the money we spent remodeling and updating (+ original price) it would have bought us a brand new house of the same size. So I would say go for the newer house if it comes to a choice. Older houses can be a LOT of work.


OTOH, you say your husband likes woodworking. If you're willing to live in a house that is in a perpetual state of remodeling...go for it!


Some important questions
Are there people around who can look in on the grandparents and get back with you? If I were unable to get in touch with grandparents, aunts, siblings or the like and had always been able to, I would contact the police to get them to intervene. I would think they could check up just to ease your mind and make sure they are ok. Oh, by the way, you might text or leave message on cousins phones since you are unable to hear from them this is your plan-- It is surprising how putting this out there will get the attention you are wanting. I just recently got some wonderful results from a person not responding to my emails, realtor to be exact- told him what I planned on doing, no need for him to reply, 4th email and that afternoon a phone call and an email. Works wonders!
Never heard that before. Questions sm
Do you only use this to pretreat clothes before putting into the washer or do you actually add it to the laundry right in the washer like you would bleach? I've been looking for an alternative to bleach as well, as I can't stand my clothes, sheets, etc. smelling like bleach.

Also, if you add it into a load of laundry, how much do you use for a full load?

Thanks a lot!
FIL in hospital. What questions should I ask? (SM)

My 72yo FIL was transferred to the trauma unit in a bigger city this past Saturday because of a fall and head injury he sustained Saturday morning.


Since he has been there (more than 48 hours now), he has not eaten and is not receiving a dextrose drip or the like through his IV. They only took complete x-rays, CT, and MRI on Sunday afternoon. The first time a doctor/resident evaluated him was on Sunday evening sometime after 9 p.m. Also, he is somewhat delusional. He knows his name and where he is, but he is grabbing at things in the air, wants to take the trash out, etc. This is definetly abnormal for him. He has always been alert and oriented.


My question is this: Should it take 36 hours before he is evaluated by a doctor? Is it normal not to give him any type of nourishment (no food, no IV) for more than 48 hours? Is it normal to wait 2 days to see a neurologist (who won't be in to see him until late today) when the main reason he was transferred was for neurology consult? I understand he went in on the weekend, but should it take this long to get answers.


Thanks for any insight you can provide.


Melissa


Answers to Questions
She's the same age as all the kids in her class. She started kindergarten at the right time (she wasn't one of the young ones). She's not into sports very much, but she does have a few extra cirricular activities. I think she's just disappointed because she never had these problems before. I wish she wouldn't be too hard on herself.
I have a couple of questions
When is your daughter's b-day? I.E. is she "young" or "old" for her grade? Also, is she involved in a lot of extra curricular activities, sports, etc? I had a child in advanced math and one was just too tough so he took it later on. Really I see no harm in waiting either.
Fibromyalgia Questions

I had low back surgery in June of 2006.  About 5 days after my surgery, I had a huge muscle ball up in my back.  Then everything went to pot.  I finally was sent to pain management and they diagnosed me with myofascial pain syndrome. 


I know the dx of fibromyalgia is very skeptical.  All I know is I feel like I have been run over by a truck.  My joints are killing me in my hips, knees and ankles.  They are constantly popping and cracking.  My neck muscles are constantly sore to the point where I cannot hardly move my neck.  I even had 1 bout where all my muscles in my neck, down to my scapula and left arm locked up.  I have very little use of my left arm with lifting because of pain in my left shoulder.  Sometimes I feel like my body is misaligned. 


Can you tell me if this is consistent with fibromyalgia symptoms and pain?


Poll questions...

1.  What ages are your kids?


13 and 8 (boy/girl).



2.  Do they have their own cell phone?


13-year-old just got cell phone last September.  8-year-old does not have one.  He's been responsible with the cell phone, and I like him having it in case I need him right away as he skateboards a lot outside with his friends in the neighborhood.



3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:

Both of my children have TVs in their room.  They watch it mostly in the evening hours when they are settling down for bed.  The computer they use is centrally based and my husband mainly monitors that one with the parental controls.

4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?


They do not get a regular allowance.  I'm fortunate in that they really don't ask for much as they get what they want for their birthday or Christmas.  However, I will on occasion get them something special if we are out and about "doing my deliveries" and they are with me.  My son has to take care of the trash throughout the house twice a week.  My daughter has no chores.  I want them to focus on school and just being kids.  I was made to do chores from the time I was 5 due to my mother's legs (she had severe arthritis), and I was not always allowed to go places for this reason.  I figure in due time they'll have their own homes.  They watch me and will help if asked, but have no specific chores to do. 


good questions
I have a soon to be 13yo son and an 11yo daughter.

We added my son to our cell phone plan last year when he was in 6th grade. It made it nice for when he was finished with his extracurricular activities and could call me plus the kids visit with their father and thought it would be nice for him to have that with him also. Plan on doing the same for my daughter next year, as long as her grades are similar (son gets straight A's) and she continues to help around the house, etc.

They both have TVs in their bedrooms but no computers. We have been discussing the possibility of a computer for them to use but it will NOT be put in their bedrooms. I have explained to my son that there are websites he may be tempted to go to and if a computer is in his room, it may be more tempting. I want to know exactly what they are doing on it IF we do decide to get one. Have a friend who can set up parental things on there (sorry I'm computer illiterate)... and I would like to possibly have my friend discuss with both the kids the potential risks involved with being on the internet, sexual predators, etc.

No allowance here either. I have explained to them that we are a family and mom doesn't get paid to keep up the house either, it is a group effort. They do have savings accounts. They put bday money and christmas money, report card money, etc. in there by their choice. I have been considering the possibility when they get older of giving them a set amount of money each week to pay for lunch, fun stuff or whatever so they can "manage" this.
Love the questions!

1.  What ages are your kids?   Daughter is 8, Son is 6



2.  Do they have their own cell phone?  No.  They have no reason for one at this age.  I can see once in Middle School possibly, but not now. 



3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:  Each of them have a TV in their room that are only for DVD/video before bed.  They are not hooked up to dish for regular TV.  They do have a computer that they share in daughters room that is NOT hooked up to internet.  They have computer games that they are allowed to play on their so as not to tie up my computer!  They are allowed to play on the weekends on DH's laptop... daughter LOVES webkinz and son LOVES nick.com, but these are always monitored so they are not on something that they are not to be on.



4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?  No allowance.  They are to help out when we are cleaning.  They feed dogs/cat and are to let dogs outside when they need to go out.  DH was never made to do chores and never got an allowance.  My sister and I always helped out at home, but never got an allowance. They get everything that they need now.


Good questions

1.You'll never see me watch___? bloody, violent, gory movies or anything by Michael Moore



2.You'll never see me wear___? spandex or mini skirts - 2 very good answers I saw others posted and definitely wouldn't wear them at the same time!



3.You'll never see me eat___?liver



4.You'll never see me buy___?canned vegetables (DH has an amazing garden every year)



5.You'll never see me clean___? fish or game - you catch it, you clean it, and please do it outside



6.You'll never see me kiss___? my in-laws



7.You'll never see me talking___? religion or politics with someone not willing to have a rational discussion - don't want any shouting matches, thanks.



Additional questions for all of us going through this...
Do you tell your spouse or do you just leave? What if you have no money for a deposit and your closest family lives 4 hours away and definitely no money for a hotel. What if the house is in his name - do you hope for compassion that he lets you stay in it especially for the kids? What's the easist way to "transition" the kids?
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.

I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.

Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
Questions about your card-
Have you paid on time every time and have you paid the amount due? I have credit cards and mine have not gone up- in fact if they did I would call, tell them what an excellent customer I have been and then ask for a reduction in the credit rate. Have done before and they did this for me.
Answers to your questions
If you had read the above, my brother deceased for years. That is the son (my father's) I talked about. No, I did not have the addresses of his children. No, I did not stay in contact with them. It was not my place to contact them about my father's insurance. The only time my nephew's mother (my brother's wife at the time of his death) called me was when she asked if I would go get her son out of jail in a small town in my state. I did not get anyone out of jail if in my own town. I knew nothing about bailing folks out. I saw them when they were little, 6 or so when my brother died. The next time I saw his daughter(6 at the time)was when she was 18. Not close, never was, not my job to look for others. I do not know what is strange about families not being all fuzzy and warm?
Especially when you see the same person asking questions
Now having said that, I have asked a couple of times on the word board and I am really grateful to the people who take the time to reply.  One I had a problem with was a really simple diabetes medication that my tired brain just couldn't come up with that night.