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Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM

Posted By: Earlinda on 2008-12-14
In Reply to: Has anyone ever met the love of their life...sm - Sold My Soul To The Devil

45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.

I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.

Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.


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My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it

Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives?  Are you catching my drift?  I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's?  Just a thought.  I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 


Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.

I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact.  My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends.    They did have kids together and no I was never jealous.  He cheated,  we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk.  He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed.  Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk.   So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on.  Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies.  I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father. 
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....

Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)

I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave.  I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids.  How did you know it was time??  Is it better now>


I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that.  Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships."  There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one.  Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head?  They both have positives and negatives, as we all do.  I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret.  I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead."  Help!!!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around.  Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house.  He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually.  She can't force him to leave.  At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres.  Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look.  He doesn't want to leave the house.  Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving.  He says he can't afford to get a place right now.  She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead.  She doesn't know what to do.  It is like she can't get rid of him.  He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go.  She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place.  And he has had the money.  She said he just won't get out.  She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do.  But he is headset not to leave. 
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important.  So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage.  Do something before it escalates.  This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....

I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm

She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could.  Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER. 


I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter.  I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital.  My doctor was furious with him.  Why did I have to do that?  Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!!  Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping.  She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist.  He eventually lost a job because all of that.  He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.


What finally bridged the gap was our divorce.  He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to.  BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.


What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried.  The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story).  My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did.  Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down!  This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on). 


From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself.  Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too.  I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.


 


If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home

Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
s
Questions

I have breastfed and am currently breast feeding and would like to ask you


If you were on the air plan which would you prefer the mother breastfeeding her child to comfort and keep him/her quiet in this cramped uncomfortable environment or to listen to this child scream bloody murder making your trip totally unbearable???? 


Some thoughts:


Children that young dont know how to clear their ears when changing altitudes and it easier to either have them sleeping or sucking.


Also some young children that are breastfed refuse bottles completely.


Older babies do not like to have their faces covered while eating they want to see their mommy and surroundings.


Personally:


I am the mother of a ten month old that will be flying (on a long flight) for the first time next month.  I plan on breastfeeding him if needed and if I do need to I will have my older daughter there to hold a small blanket up as a sort of shielding wall. I am more than ready to be done breastfeeding and am working very hard to get him there as well but because his schedule doesnt agree with mine I dont think that I should be barred from traveling on a plane and I think the other passengers on the plane would prefer I comfort my child to the best of my ability so that they can try and enjoy their trip as well.


The sucky part about is I will be on the mentioned airlines soooooo may be my son wont get to meet his grandparent for the first time because my child comes first always!!!!  Take care everyone and enjoy your holidays I am climbing off my soap box now


you need to ask yourself 2 questions sm
1. Can the bridesmaids comfortably wear a strapless dress (not everybody can)?
2. Do the shoulders need to be covered if the wedding is in a church?

I'd choose number 2.
Two questions

Has she been anywhere that she could have come in contact with bedbugs? (stayed at a motel, slept over at a friend's house)


Is it possible she has been in contact with poison ivy?


We went through a similar problem with my husband a while ago. He has to travel sometimes for his job, and several years ago he picked up some bedbugs from a hotel.


Since then, we have moved to a new house and he got a new bed. When he started itching again we were concerned it was bedbugs, but the rash was similar to how you describe your daughter's rash, and we finally figured out he had probably gotten into some poison ivy in our back yard.


Good luck - I hope you figure out the cause (and cure) soon.


questions

1.You'll never see me watch___? reality TV



 


2.You'll never see me wear___? a designer dress



 


3.You'll never see me eat___?  chocolate covered ants



 


4.You'll never see me buy___? any male enhancement products



 


5.You'll never see me clean___? at all, unless I'm getting company!



 


6.You'll never see me kiss___?  Jack Black, ewwww



 


7.You'll never see me talking___? about wanting to work outside my home


questions
I think a lot depends on your specific circumstances. I got an apartment because he refused to move out. I had planned it for months. Legally though if you leave and the house is in both your names, that's not good because he'll get the house.

As far as the kids, so much depends on their ages but you'd be surprised how much they already intuitively know. Just be honest with them and make sure they know they are loved by both of you, and that none of this is their fault. Give them as much stability as possible and once they see you are happier, their lives will be too.
There are a lot of questions here,
1 being the fact that this "nanny" was supposed to be with the 16-year-old. The police said they are sticking with their story, the Travolta camp saying differently. Supposedly this child had two (2) nannies that were supposed to be with him at all times. If a cover up, it has a lot to do with it.
Some questions sm
Boy this is a tough situation. My first thoughts are to ask you if you feel he has been a good husband. In other words, if this DID happen 17 years ago, perhaps he has changed his ways and become a better partner. However, you indicate you think he's lying to you so I'm wondering if you have trust issues even today. You really need to sit down and have a long heart to heart with hubs and clear this up because it's not easy to throw away 17 years of a marriage and children together.
Well, more questions then
If this only happens once a month, or approximately every 28 days....

How long has it been going on?

Is she gaining weight?

Is there a boyfriend in her past or present?

I've had friends who got pregnant at 14. It happens. And nobody had a clue that anything was going on.
Christmas questions

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?  - Hot Chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?  Mom wraps, Santa stuffs stockings.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored inside, white outside
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No
5. When do you put your decorations up?  When I have time.  Usually get the tree the first weekend in December.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Turkey
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:  Spending Christmas with my mom's parents who lived 2 hours away and then coming home and seeing my dad's parents who lived right down the street.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My cousin informed me in elementary school and took great pleasure in crushing me. 
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I always wanted to, but wasn't allowed, so now my kids each get to open one on Christmas Eve, and my oldest is in college and still likes to do this.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? colored lights, all the oraments I have gotten my kids over the years plus the ones they have made in school since they were little, star on the top.  Probably nothing Martha Stewart would approve of - LOL.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? Used to love it, now dread it, but don't know why exactly.
12. Can you ice skate?  Yes.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Bionic Woman doll
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with my family and Christmas Even services at church and singing all those great hymns.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? pumpkin pie
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas eve candlelight service
17. What tops your tree? star
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Love to give and see the look on my kids' faces when they open their gifts.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?  Yum


Christmas questions sm

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog (loaded).
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wrap them all.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Weekend after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Baked ham.


7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Going sledding in Garmisch, Germany.  The adults went skiing.  Lived in Germany 10 years as a kid, and every Christmas was great there.  Very festive place during the holiday season. 
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? 9 years old, my younger brother found all the gifts in the closet  - I was devastated. 
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Leave that to my daughter and grandson.
11. Snow: Love it or Dread it? I like to look at it, but dread driving in it.   We have enough here in Colorado to share with everybody. 
12. Can you ice skate? I would be afraid to try it now. 
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My first Shaded Silver Chinchilla persian kitten.  He lived to be 20 and I am now on my second one.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Giving.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Irish Christmas pudding with hot Bird's custard. 
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Baking Christmas goodies, watching Home Alone, and homemade Eggnog.
17. What tops your tree? Star.
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Jingle Bell Rock
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum.


Sorry if I ask the obvious questions, but ...
Are you providing scratching posts loaded with catnip, fun toys, that kind of thing? I have had maybe a dozen cats over the years, none of them declawed, and none ever touched any of my furniture (some of it leather to boot)because I started them when they were young with taking them to the claw posts, praising them there, providing toys, etc. Give it a try before you declaw, please!!! Good luck.
thanks for all the answers to my questions--sm
I appreciate the input, even though it saddens me that this would even happen anywhere in the USA!
Common questions that men ask

Questions that I've been commonly asked in the "dating world" since I'm single.


"Why arent you married"


"Do you want kids?"


"Why hasn't someone snatched you up"


"Do you date?"


or when the guy states...


"I'm a really nice guy"


"I'm a great catch"


"I've always been too busy to meet someone special until now"


Another thing..for some reason, I find divorced men who have kids living with their mother to be a turn off.
I feel that they made their families and now they are dating while the brunt of child care is now on their ex wife.
Maybe it's ignorant of me, I don't know. I really admire men who LIVE with their children or I'd prefer to date men who didnt have children at all.


I guess the purpose of this post is mostly a rant..anyone identify with any of this?


I have the same questions except it's a second marriage? SM

A friend of mine is getting married for the second time.  The first time around it was a huge, and I mean HUGE, affair with an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, huge Catholic wedding with a huge reception with food and free booze, etc.  They registered at Macy's and expected everyone to get their presents from there.  There China was over $100 for a place setting!


The couple divorced and now she is getting married again and has sent out invitations to all the festivities.  She's planning another huge wedding and she has registered again at Macy's!  Now, personally I feel this is just wrong.  I think a small tasteful wedding is in order for the second go round and I don't think it is at all necessary to register anywhere for the second wedding.  How much China can one person use?  I mean, she got almost everything in her divorce!


I'm sort of a down to earth, pratical kind of person so Wal-Mart dishes are fine with me, so I guess maybe I'm not the best person to understand wedding traditions and etiquette, but do I really need to go to Macy's and get another expensive wedding gift?


Lots of questions

1. How old is the first house? The one with the sewing room and the carpet coming up?


2. How many sq ft is the second house - the newer one?


3. Have the rest of the houses in your neighborhood appreciated 66% in the last five years?  (from $75,000 to $125,000)


Your husband has a good idea about putting the money in savings for six months to make sure you can afford to pay a mortgage that is twice what you are paying now. And after six months, you will have $1800 more to put down on the house.


This is strictly personal experience - but last summer we moved from a 25-year-old house to a brand new one. We lived in the 25yo house for 12 years, and the money we spent remodeling and updating (+ original price) it would have bought us a brand new house of the same size. So I would say go for the newer house if it comes to a choice. Older houses can be a LOT of work.


OTOH, you say your husband likes woodworking. If you're willing to live in a house that is in a perpetual state of remodeling...go for it!


Some important questions
Are there people around who can look in on the grandparents and get back with you? If I were unable to get in touch with grandparents, aunts, siblings or the like and had always been able to, I would contact the police to get them to intervene. I would think they could check up just to ease your mind and make sure they are ok. Oh, by the way, you might text or leave message on cousins phones since you are unable to hear from them this is your plan-- It is surprising how putting this out there will get the attention you are wanting. I just recently got some wonderful results from a person not responding to my emails, realtor to be exact- told him what I planned on doing, no need for him to reply, 4th email and that afternoon a phone call and an email. Works wonders!
Never heard that before. Questions sm
Do you only use this to pretreat clothes before putting into the washer or do you actually add it to the laundry right in the washer like you would bleach? I've been looking for an alternative to bleach as well, as I can't stand my clothes, sheets, etc. smelling like bleach.

Also, if you add it into a load of laundry, how much do you use for a full load?

Thanks a lot!
FIL in hospital. What questions should I ask? (SM)

My 72yo FIL was transferred to the trauma unit in a bigger city this past Saturday because of a fall and head injury he sustained Saturday morning.


Since he has been there (more than 48 hours now), he has not eaten and is not receiving a dextrose drip or the like through his IV. They only took complete x-rays, CT, and MRI on Sunday afternoon. The first time a doctor/resident evaluated him was on Sunday evening sometime after 9 p.m. Also, he is somewhat delusional. He knows his name and where he is, but he is grabbing at things in the air, wants to take the trash out, etc. This is definetly abnormal for him. He has always been alert and oriented.


My question is this: Should it take 36 hours before he is evaluated by a doctor? Is it normal not to give him any type of nourishment (no food, no IV) for more than 48 hours? Is it normal to wait 2 days to see a neurologist (who won't be in to see him until late today) when the main reason he was transferred was for neurology consult? I understand he went in on the weekend, but should it take this long to get answers.


Thanks for any insight you can provide.


Melissa


Answers to Questions
She's the same age as all the kids in her class. She started kindergarten at the right time (she wasn't one of the young ones). She's not into sports very much, but she does have a few extra cirricular activities. I think she's just disappointed because she never had these problems before. I wish she wouldn't be too hard on herself.
I have a couple of questions
When is your daughter's b-day? I.E. is she "young" or "old" for her grade? Also, is she involved in a lot of extra curricular activities, sports, etc? I had a child in advanced math and one was just too tough so he took it later on. Really I see no harm in waiting either.
Fibromyalgia Questions

I had low back surgery in June of 2006.  About 5 days after my surgery, I had a huge muscle ball up in my back.  Then everything went to pot.  I finally was sent to pain management and they diagnosed me with myofascial pain syndrome. 


I know the dx of fibromyalgia is very skeptical.  All I know is I feel like I have been run over by a truck.  My joints are killing me in my hips, knees and ankles.  They are constantly popping and cracking.  My neck muscles are constantly sore to the point where I cannot hardly move my neck.  I even had 1 bout where all my muscles in my neck, down to my scapula and left arm locked up.  I have very little use of my left arm with lifting because of pain in my left shoulder.  Sometimes I feel like my body is misaligned. 


Can you tell me if this is consistent with fibromyalgia symptoms and pain?


Poll questions...

1.  What ages are your kids?


13 and 8 (boy/girl).



2.  Do they have their own cell phone?


13-year-old just got cell phone last September.  8-year-old does not have one.  He's been responsible with the cell phone, and I like him having it in case I need him right away as he skateboards a lot outside with his friends in the neighborhood.



3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:

Both of my children have TVs in their room.  They watch it mostly in the evening hours when they are settling down for bed.  The computer they use is centrally based and my husband mainly monitors that one with the parental controls.

4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?


They do not get a regular allowance.  I'm fortunate in that they really don't ask for much as they get what they want for their birthday or Christmas.  However, I will on occasion get them something special if we are out and about "doing my deliveries" and they are with me.  My son has to take care of the trash throughout the house twice a week.  My daughter has no chores.  I want them to focus on school and just being kids.  I was made to do chores from the time I was 5 due to my mother's legs (she had severe arthritis), and I was not always allowed to go places for this reason.  I figure in due time they'll have their own homes.  They watch me and will help if asked, but have no specific chores to do. 


good questions
I have a soon to be 13yo son and an 11yo daughter.

We added my son to our cell phone plan last year when he was in 6th grade. It made it nice for when he was finished with his extracurricular activities and could call me plus the kids visit with their father and thought it would be nice for him to have that with him also. Plan on doing the same for my daughter next year, as long as her grades are similar (son gets straight A's) and she continues to help around the house, etc.

They both have TVs in their bedrooms but no computers. We have been discussing the possibility of a computer for them to use but it will NOT be put in their bedrooms. I have explained to my son that there are websites he may be tempted to go to and if a computer is in his room, it may be more tempting. I want to know exactly what they are doing on it IF we do decide to get one. Have a friend who can set up parental things on there (sorry I'm computer illiterate)... and I would like to possibly have my friend discuss with both the kids the potential risks involved with being on the internet, sexual predators, etc.

No allowance here either. I have explained to them that we are a family and mom doesn't get paid to keep up the house either, it is a group effort. They do have savings accounts. They put bday money and christmas money, report card money, etc. in there by their choice. I have been considering the possibility when they get older of giving them a set amount of money each week to pay for lunch, fun stuff or whatever so they can "manage" this.
Love the questions!

1.  What ages are your kids?   Daughter is 8, Son is 6



2.  Do they have their own cell phone?  No.  They have no reason for one at this age.  I can see once in Middle School possibly, but not now. 



3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:  Each of them have a TV in their room that are only for DVD/video before bed.  They are not hooked up to dish for regular TV.  They do have a computer that they share in daughters room that is NOT hooked up to internet.  They have computer games that they are allowed to play on their so as not to tie up my computer!  They are allowed to play on the weekends on DH's laptop... daughter LOVES webkinz and son LOVES nick.com, but these are always monitored so they are not on something that they are not to be on.



4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?  No allowance.  They are to help out when we are cleaning.  They feed dogs/cat and are to let dogs outside when they need to go out.  DH was never made to do chores and never got an allowance.  My sister and I always helped out at home, but never got an allowance. They get everything that they need now.


Good questions

1.You'll never see me watch___? bloody, violent, gory movies or anything by Michael Moore



2.You'll never see me wear___? spandex or mini skirts - 2 very good answers I saw others posted and definitely wouldn't wear them at the same time!



3.You'll never see me eat___?liver



4.You'll never see me buy___?canned vegetables (DH has an amazing garden every year)



5.You'll never see me clean___? fish or game - you catch it, you clean it, and please do it outside



6.You'll never see me kiss___? my in-laws



7.You'll never see me talking___? religion or politics with someone not willing to have a rational discussion - don't want any shouting matches, thanks.



Additional questions for all of us going through this...
Do you tell your spouse or do you just leave? What if you have no money for a deposit and your closest family lives 4 hours away and definitely no money for a hotel. What if the house is in his name - do you hope for compassion that he lets you stay in it especially for the kids? What's the easist way to "transition" the kids?
Questions about your card-
Have you paid on time every time and have you paid the amount due? I have credit cards and mine have not gone up- in fact if they did I would call, tell them what an excellent customer I have been and then ask for a reduction in the credit rate. Have done before and they did this for me.