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Don't even know a joke when you hear one. Wow!

Posted By: Boy, you really ARE dense on 2007-05-20
In Reply to: What a laugh that was, Jeff Foxworthy on the front- you know you're a redneck when - Jennifer

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This is NOT a joke. I do not joke like this. See this link sl
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=492533&in_page_id=1770&ct=5
Agreed! Hear, hear...amen, sister!
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it's a joke . . .
go to votefortheworse.com
It's not a joke.

Warning....!!!!


Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car. Then we received this email yesterday:



'WARNING FROM POLICE - BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'


Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse.  When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the m iddle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of  your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off  in your car.  And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.  So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.


Please keep this going


Hopefully this is a joke...sm
You would think the wire/string would get caught in the lower eyelashes.  If you watch the video, the model never moves her eyes side to side. 
It was a joke. nm
mpff
No Joke
There was a couple on one of the talk shows that did it. In fact, the person who first started it was a minister. I think maybe he wrote a book about it? He's been on the talk show circuit as well. (This was a few months ago)
Yes, I know, it was a joke. But
I cannot miss to notice that in EVERY joke Mr. Tech Support posts the 'macho- man' comes through!
where is the joke?...........nm
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where is the joke?..........nm
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Do You Hear What I Hear and Little Drummer Boy
I love the holiday!
Hear, hear! I'm with you too, same boat. -nm
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Did not hear about the porn but did hear
there might be a conflict about her babies going home with her when they were able to be dismissed. You can hardly blame anyone for questioning how she will take care of them. From what I have seen, she hardly seems stable enough to do that.
EXCELLENT joke! *LOL*.........
   
This is a joke, right? Your son LIVES with her,
and you wonder about any of this? Give me a break! If the coach were God Himself, that would be no excuse to hand over your mothering duties and your son to someone else, let alone someone you think is a B. Give me a break. What is wrong with you?
Sanjaya is a JOKE. First of all,
he CANNOT SING; and if he thinks he can, he needs a reality check. He should have to sit and listen to himself like we all have to week after week. ICK.

It is just is not fair to the other contests to keep voting for him and losing better singers (not saying Brandon is great, but he is, was, much better than Sanny Boy.

If he wins this thing, which I doubt, it would be the END OF IDOL. I surely would not watch it ever again. This show is turning out to something other than a SINGING contest as Simon and the others have said over and over and over.

Why are there 3 judges anyway? AMERICA should not be allowed to vote, if this kind of c*** is going to continue. They need to put a stop to it. BUT they are raking in the ratings and the $$$$ so they probably really do not care.
vote is a joke
There is a web site set up, which I am sure most of you know about, that encourages voters to vote for certain singers, (the worst) Sanjaya happening to be the one the last couple weeks. I know the same thing pretty much happened with a couple of singers last year, they were mentioned on the web site and for several weeks, although they were terrible, they were not even in the bottom 3.
NO! And, like he is better than Melinda? lol What a joke.
Poor Melinda, I seriously think she was in shock, like the rest of us.
Yeah, I know. It was just a joke.
See what I did there - I substituted nits for ticks.

:oD


I thought this was a joke when it first came on! LOL...nm
s
There is nothing on the news. Is this a bad joke?
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Yes, it will be taxable. What a joke, huh????
xx
perhaps she should offshore. joke, NM
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Tell us where you work! Please! no joke.
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Okay, this has got to be a joke to get us all going today
That is called trolling and/or spamming.
The first post from the OP sounds like a depressed person... who needs help. The second post from the OP sounds like a completely different person (different inflections etc) making up some sort of soap opera. So, if you are real, and yanking our chain, not funny. If you are real and both stories are true, call 911 or a counselor ASAP, or at the very least take a day off and you have our sympathies. Most of all if you are trolling, shame on me for letting you waste my time! Oh yes, and by the way, have a nice day. :)
I used to joke that my 1st daughter - sm
didn't even know she had a dad until my 2nd daughter was born, then he had no choice but to help out some. I think he changed maybe 5 diapers in the 5 years I had kids in diapers. I don't think he ever fed them once either. With my first daughter he did take one night a week to feed her in the middle of the night and to deal with whatever came up to give me a break. He was working full-time and I was a SAHM so that was the justification there. He would come home from work and I would often fall asleep on the couch with my daughter tucked beside me while he made dinner. He did all the cooking then at least, though I dealt with the baby food and formula, etc. With my 2nd daughter he never took a night with her as at six-weeks she started to sleep through the night, so he got out of his 1-night of night duty. I did not start doing MT until my 2nd daughter was almost 2, but still did it all, except cooking dinner (I still had to clean up the mess). So most guys get off easy I think. I never had heartburn before I got pregnant, or hemorrhoids, oh the joys of motherhood! Now that they are older he does take them to the movies or skating now to give me "time to work" in quiet, joy, granted I usually goof off a while when he does this, need to take a break sometime!
My husband and I joke that if we had...
waited until we were ready to have children, we never would have had any. (We are now expecting our second.) I think that we are just blessed to be so darned fertile! My point being that I was never going to have children and I never would have felt ready for the first one, but our blessing and surprise came anyway. I would not trade him for the world. The second one, with whom I am pregnant now, was not so much a mistake as a lack in diligence in the birth control area. The timing is bad. The baby is good. I did eventually want another--but not one to be born while my husband is deployed. I guess God had different ideas for us. However, my husband is right. If we waited around for the right time, we would never have had the first, let alone the second. You might find that you are more ready than you think! Good luck!
That's a joke, right? I do not think people are really doing this....nm
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Even if there was some "inside" joke there
--
I think it was a joke. Lighten up!
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underpaid teachers - what a joke!
I agree that teachers have all this extra work they have to do in their own time, but don't forget about all the paid time off they demanded; spring break, Christmas break, plus the fact that they get most of the summertime off with pay. I think that more than makes up for the extra time they have to put in while school is in session. I have a friend who is in the highest paying school district in Ohio and upon retirement, he and his wife will both be making 80K plus on their pensions. What's so god awful about that!!!!! Winning 10K may not be so great either by the time they pay taxes on it and add it to their income, possibly kicking them into a higher tax bracket. That can be considered a good or bad winning.
Jay Leno started the joke of how she looks like....
Shrek! She does have a beautiful spirit, though, so hopefully that won't hurt her down the road.
I was totally making a joke, Just having a little fun!
I love my kids as well as my furkids, but believe me, they are not genuises!
What is your best April Fools joke?
I told my Hubby I was expecting. Everyone at work was telling me how great it was. Finally I told them Look Folks !!!! It's April Fools Day!!!!!

oh geez - get a life! it was a joke

Sugar Mama joke?
I am just about 4 months single now and recently started dating a guy - was looking for someone with a good heart, compassionate, etc.  He seems to fit that bill.  He has some financial worries but money is not something I am looking for. I work very hard and get some money from my ex husband, child support, etc.  I paid a couple of times when we went out because I have no problem with that if it is my idea to go somewhere and he says up front he doesn't have the money to go.  But today he called and I said I had to work because in my profession if I'm not working, I'm not making money, and he said, "yeah, I can't have a sugar mama who is not making any money so you better get back to work."  I said in a mad voice, "You can't have a sugar mama either way!!!"  He laughed and we hung up.  A few min later he called back and I didn't answer, and he left a message saying he hoped I knew he was joking.  But I am a single mother and to me that type of joke has a grain of truth to it. I feel like a mama bear - I am furious.  I have accepted his health issues, his ED issues, etc., but I am just plain furious about that joke.  Do you think I am making to much of it or do you think my instincts are correct?
To joke about your mother having dementia
was that the joke part? Sorry, I still don’t get joking about being put in an institution and having dementia. I never would joke about something like that. I guess it takes all kinds though.
I did not joke about my mother's dementia

What I joked about was the possibility of my getting it.  Unlike my mother who refused to accept her diagnosis and turned a blind eye to it, I accept that it is a possibility in my life.  Sure, I joke about losing my car keys, losing my glasses, even writing notes to my 5 yo child (who cannot even read a note about LTC, duh), but I hope to keep my sense of humor, even if this dialouge is testing that patience more than my life circumstances are.


I could pick you apart right now for your insensensitivity, but I chose to feel sorry for your lack of neuroprocessing abilities and will let it go.  Next time you see a sign to commit a random act of kindness, I suggest you not waste the opportunity to build up your karma bank.


it was a joke for goodness sake! sm
Quit trying to start a fight!
Had Mr,.TechSupport meant it as a joke, he would
have posted it on the Comedy board. Why here on the Gab Board? He knew that it would spark controversy.
Okay, i guess my joke did a flyby, but...
i'm unemployed so an imaginary doctor is better than some of these job postings :)
THIS reminds me of a joke, I know I should post it
on the Comedy Board, but it fits in here. I apologize already now if sb is offended, but I don't think so. Here it comes.....

A man goes to church and wants to confess. He approaches the confessional and kneels down. The priest opens the little window and the man says, 'You first.'

LMAO!


Snopes and MTV say Richards story was a joke.

That was just too nasty to be true...even for that fella!    


http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1556258/20070403/rolling_stones.jhtml


 


Not me - I think she will get to stay under house arrest - what a joke
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I agree this war is a joke, and I would not be proud of my kid being a part of it.
x
PETA....this organization is a cruel joke!
You DON'T want PETA to be involved in anything related to animals.
Adam? Cant stand him either. Idol is a joke
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Just a quick question, if "public school is a joke"
why are you allowing your daughter to attend one?
Ladies, just a joke, some humor thrown into a mostly unfulfilling job we do
I thought we were all adults here. I know others have experienced similar things and if I offended you, then I apologize. I find nothing that I posted risque and things I have seen on here much more unprofessional than this. Such simple things as hanging clothing out on clothes lines wind up in people being uncivil to others. If the moderator finds it offensive, then they can take it down. I have no problem with what I said and sorry if you do. Life happens and this was just things I thought of in mine.
April fools joke...Myra Maynes

This is my favorite.  I heard about it from a friend and tried it on my DH.  I left him a pretend message with the phone number and a lady named Myra Maynes.  The number was to our local funeral home.  This is what happened:


DH:  Hi, I got a call from Myra Maynes.


Funeral lady:  Who, hon?


DH:  Myra Maynes.


Funeral lady:  Well, I don't know a Myra Maynes but let me go ask one of those IRS people.  They are here today doing my audit.


Then she comes back on the line:  Hon, those IRS people say that you're doing an April Fools joke!  I just don't get it though.


This is totally true and totally not planned with the funeral home.  DH still didn't get it either until I explained MY REMAINS.  He was really mad at me, but I laughed so hard my bladder leaked!


Are you as 'funny' ? as this joke? BTW they belong on the Comedy Board...nm
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