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I could write a book about this, but I'll

Posted By: try to keep it simple on 2007-01-20
In Reply to: Ex's new girlfriend calling my home - D

You can't control your ex.  Period.  You can only control what happens in your home.  Your ex felt it appropriate for the GF to call your son and wish him happy birthday.  Be thankful she didn't drop by or ask to come over for a visit.  Trust me, if you try to put the kids in the middle of a struggle of what you think is appropriate for the kids, the kids lose.  I don't know the age of your son, but you can certainly talk to him about how he felt about it.  He most likely felt nothing considering he has only met her twice.  Sort of like a peer who knows somebody who knows somebody who called to say happy birthday.


As far as the family not recognizing the kids' birthdays - either get used to it, or you call them and ask if they would like to speak with him.  The dissolution of marriages cause supposed love ones to vanish like flies around a vinegar trap.  It isn't your ex's job to have his family maintain a relationship with your kids.  That responsibility falls to the extended family.


I would certainly encourage the kids to send greeting cards or make phone calls to the other side of the family to acknowledge their important dates.  It might help them feel less awkward about how they should be behaving in the situation.  They may simply just not know what involvement is wanted or expected and need some guidance  -- but only if the child wants that contact.


I'm the grannie raising my granddaughter and I have watched every single person who claimed to love this child fall by the wayside if it weren't for my being proactive in trying to maintain the relationships she and I feel are important to her feeling connected to the family.  That means my going to my ex in-laws who talked badly about me for over a decade...looking them in the face and watching the joy my granddaughter has in surrounding herself with family.  They simply don't know how to handle the situation.  My daughter had a new guy move in with her 2 weeks after she brought the little one to me.  At 6 weeks, she wanted to introduce him to me and her.  I told her straight up he had to make it to the year anniversary mark before I would allow the new guy to meet my granddaughter.  I won't let her confuse her and play "who's your daddy" game.


I better stop now...like I said, I could write a book.  I hope you find that sort through the negotiating thing of this for the best of the kids and try to put your personal feelings secondary to that goal (not that I think you aren't doing that, just saying).


Good luck. 




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I could write a book (sm)
But where do I start? I have an ex-husband and had 3 dogs, one of which was incredibly loyal to him even though he never lived in the house since her birth. All she had to hear was, Daddy's coming over tonight, and she would just stare out the window until he arrived.

Well, I moved and only could take 2 dogs, so I told him he had to take Clara (it was a lie, but I felt like they needed each other LOL).

He lives in an efficiency and when he went to work, she managed to do all kinds of crafty things when he was gone.... like taking a half-full can of Diet Coke, spilling in on the bed, and then covering it up with the blankets...

She can get into child-proof locks on the cabinets. He has to put the garbage in his car every day. She opens up the coffee container and just leaves it for him... like... okay... see what I can do?

She is the smartest dog I've seen in my life. When they visit, I swear, she understands what I'm saying.

But the most incredible thing is how she loves him.

He did some Internet searches for things to keep dogs with separation anxiety busy. Remember, she was here with her siblings and me all the time. You might want to check that out. One idea was stuffing an apple with peanut butter. He finally resorted to just leaving the jar open. The cage isn't really a bad idea either if it's a young pup.

One more story... He was walking her and an unleashed dog attacked her. He managed to separate them and get someone to get Clara back in the house, but the door didn't shut tightly. He was still holding the unleashed dog and she bounded out out to defend him. She ended up getting ripped up with over 40 stitches. He's convinced she only came back out for his sake.

Anyhow, sorry for going on, but if any suggestions below don't work (I didn't read them), do a search or email me and I'll give you his email so he might give you some tips.

I was just thinking today how my life revolves around my dogs. I really don't even like leaving the house because I know they hate it. If I miss one of their 'scheduled' walks, I feel guilty. I do have more of a life than my dogs, but... you know... ;-)
What's the point of a guest book, anyway? They'll have the cards and
s
Tessier's Surgical 'Word Book, old but good. And the Quick Look Drug Book and Saunders
.
I read this book also. Wonderful book.

nm


I'd write on there....sm
Sorry for your loss. I know I cannot feel the pain that you feel. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
Whatever you say/write do NOT say...

Something along the lines of 'they're in a better place' or 'at least they aren't suffering'.  Trust me, that isn't nice to hear when you lose a child because you really can't imagine a better place than in your loving arms. 


Give your friend a big hug and just let her know you are here for her.  Be there for her to talk about the baby to/with when she needs it.  So many people are uncomfortable listening to a grieving mother talk about her lost baby, but that is something that really helps to process it all, at least it was very helpful for me. 


So sorry another knows the pain. 


Lol.. I know. I was like.. did I write that, lol
Great minds think alike, right? :) I like Melinda, too. She's the only who I enjoy actually listening to week after week.
That should be write.......nm
.
I would write an e-mail sm
and say "I love you anyway!"
That's it! Whatever happens, happens. You can not control how other people act or react, nor can you change people. So, you need to just love like you always do and move on from whatever is hurting you.

Best of luck to you and many blessings!
If people are able to write something
I would think many of them would be comments that since she hasn't been a good influence, he should at least let her be a terrible warning!

Ha!
call them - they might even write it off.....

I am never late paying my bills, but ONE time BOA (bank of america) Visa didn't get my bill when they should have - and they charged me $39 late fee - I called them, because I pay the bill in full every month and it's HIGH......I told them, since I always pay it in full, that I insist they reverse that charge because I sent it 10 days prior, and if they wouldn't (because at first they were hemming and hawing) - I would take my business elsewhere -


don't you know THEY IMMEDIATELY REVERSED THE LATE FEE.....


Give them a call, the worst they'll say is no, and you'll argue, and perhaps they'll then say yes.....we'll reverse it..........



How about the sentence I had to write
Actucally it was a paragraph and I still remember it. Guess I was in trouble a lot.

This year in the sixth grade I will practice self-control by being curtious and polite in the halls and on the playgound.

Each infraction was 25 times.
LOL - see what they 'right' - or write. And I do QA! nm
///
i write checks
only when I have to, but I have adorable checks. I know it takes a BIT longer, but now with the new "slide your own card, then type 100 keys just to say OK to the transaction" it's about the same time, if you really think about it.

The thing about people stopping in the middle of an aisle OMG why why WHY do they do that? GET OUT OF THE WAY, MOVE TO THE SIDE, BE CONSIDERATE!!! im with you on that one
So that's why they can't read and write!! Now I know
Instead of teaching them the fundamentals, it is more important for our schools to teach them to be tolerant, and to love. That will get them a good paycheck, What was I thinking! Guess I was dreaming when I heard about the separation of church and state.
thanks! :) I'll see if he'll ask some female friends SM

Thank you everyone!  It has been great reading all of your responses!  Goodnight!!  "See" you all tomorrow!


Hugs,


Chickadee


Yes - white boards that you write on
the very thinnest you can buy as they are lightweight so not hard for you to take up and down and not all that ugly really if you don't cover them!! We decided on white wall as when we first started shopping we were going to try and hang white boards that we had purchased at Staples/WalMart but realized so much cheaper to buy pieces of wood and cut ourselves - plus will hand down to kids/grandkids when we no longer need so they can draw on them!! I use a fan also in the summer as I have ADD and any interruption noise interrupts my concentration so totally understand the fan - just way too cold for me in the winter and son who works for power company noted they are not exactly energy efficient :( Good luck - let us know!! Thank you also because I never thought about actually covering with fabric until your original post - it would also protect the corners as concerned I might drop on my leather couch at some point and poke a hole in them - although they really are not that sharp - just being cautious I guess!! :))
As I write this, tears are in my eyes
because my furkids also gift from hubby and I know, really know the love we give these little ones. She had been through so much. You gave her a good home and I am sure did everything to make her life comfortable. I have 2 boys from my gift and 1 is a purrer and the other 1 not but again know I along with others share your sorrow.
I'm a NYC girl and always write TY notes
However, I now live in Florida and I must say JUST ABOUT NOBODY HERE sends a thank you note. Though, I did send a gift to Queens NY and never got a thank you note from the wife.....a shy passive Jackson Heights lady who married a friend of mine - I sent a lovely gift and never got thanked by her. And they live in Long Island.

So, I think it is not just NYers/northerners - I think this problem is rampant. Oh, and my Hispanic friends also don't send ty notes nor do their kids (Florida residents). Nor do in-law relatives from Europe.

I still don't get it....
Well, maybe, just like I think the mayor should never write a judge
telling what kind of role model Michael Vick was to the chldren in Atlanta? How much he gave to the community? The news paper printed her entire letter and I was shocked to know she met with Vick after he was charged and then wrote a dang letter to the judge. Whatever he accomplished so far he has blown it in his murderous ways as far as I am concerned. I guess she is just not into animals.
Get your doctor to write a Rx for GlycoLax
nm
I would write a detailed letter - sm
to the teacher, school counselor, principal, and send a copy to the school board. No resolution, no satisfaction, no kids in your school!

That counselor was way out of line but the blame also falls to the principal and teacher for not following up and making sure you were able to get a meeting.

They have some nerve. They forget WHO pays their salaries.
Can you name a movie, and then write a quote or two from it?

Jerry Maguire..."show me the money" and "you had me at 'hello.'"


According to snopes.com, Andy did NOT write this.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp
You write that you had a uterus prolapse
why did they take your uterus out? As far as I know they lift it back into the right place.

That you lost so much blood
is really strange.
Go to the ER, it really amazes me that they send you home.
Let us know what happens!
write him a letter and explain to him like you
explained it to us. Tell him how you really feel. Give him some days to 'digest' it, then give him a call.
If you have definitely made up your mind, you have to tell him before he gets out, otherwise I doubt that you will be able to tell him face to face and you will just give in.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM

My friends just lost a baby to SIDS.  The funeral is tomorrow.  Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers.  I'm at a total loss for words.  What should I write on the card?  Appreciate any input.


Be thankful you have your wonderful mom to write that letter to..sm
It has been a little over a year since my mom passed away. I miss her so much. I would love to be able to write my mom or call her. I was fortuante enough to have spent many, many holidays in the kitchen helping my mom. I sure do miss it now. Give thanks that you have your mom in your life. I am also a married mother of 3 and am 36 y/o with no mom for the holidays. God Bless you, your family, and most of all your mom. I am so sad every day without mine.
1. Escalate the problem to a supervisor. 2. Write a letter.
X
Write an anonymous letter. Type it up if you are that concerned, although I sm
am a big fan of minding my own business. You need to talk to her first instead of about her like this. Tell her your concerns. Be real and up front. Say, I don't respect you for this because you seem to be able to do such and such and I should turn you in. Don't be scared to do this. But if you are afraid, then write a letter since you say you know the insurance person and secretary.
That was not called for. She copied this from an internet site, she did not write it. nm
nm
C'mon, It's a mail forward, I didn't write it myself.
//
to write 'more stupid' is 'stupider' than stupider.
From a dictionary:

stupider

A word so commonly used in place of "more stupid" that it should be its own slang word. And with the creation of this definition, it is.

The phrase 'more stupid' takes more time to write out and is much Stupider then just writing 'Stupider'."


Hayseed, I think you should write your own advice column, kinda like "Dear Hayseed"....you cra
nm
DR Book
We just got our copy this week and after the first few pages - I believe it is going to hurt!! We need it though - husband is really stressed. We have two kids in college and one goes in next year. Two oldest are getting married soon - SCARY STUFF!!
best book
Thanks for the insight. I love to read and have trouble with finding good books. Have you read The Kite Runner? It is one of my all time bests. You have to stay with it though.
In the book
The Five People You Meet is Heaven (obviously fiction) tells about choosing the best time in your life and that is what "your" heaven will be like. I love the thought of that. Am still trying to decide what I could choose.
Do you have his book?
Cesar would say that nobody has established the leadership role, so the dog has taken it. Somebody has to do it.

She's being dominant. The good news is that if you learn how to be the leader and your kids learn to act like Cesar has taught his kids, your dog will happily fill the proper place in the pack. It wouldn't matter if she was 14 years old. Dogs live in the moment. She's been learning all you've been accidentally teaching all this time.

One thing about the process is that you need to dedicate whatever time is needed; you don't give up in the middle of a lesson or you have to start over next time. Get Cesar's book or books and be the a pack leader your dog can be proud to follow. :o>

There are other methods as well, and you can get other books. Many "real" dog trainers think his tactics are way off base, but often they soften after reading his book and seeing where he's coming from. But IMO your dog is a candidate for his methods.

Nothing-In-Life-Is-Free is one popular training method.
Self-help book

This book changed my life many years ago. Read it; you will not be sorry. "Your Erroneous Zones" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.


 


Lilly


book
The Bluejay Boarders! I do not even remember who wrote it but it was the first book I really read all by myself, first chapter book so to speak and it made me cry. To this day I cannot find that book! Anybody ever heard of it?
yes, that was book 4
She has published 6 in the series so far and #7 should be out next year. DG has said that there will be "at least" 8, so leaving open the possibility for a 9th. She also has plans for a second Outlandish companion book and a prequel about Jamie's parents, but who knows when.
book
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10241585

Here is the site where I found the book... all the way at the bottom you can click on read all reviews & read what everybody is saying about it. I saw the movie & if this book is half as good as that movie it will be great! Everybody says really good things about the book:) may wanna check it out!
this is not a book, but
My teenage son wants one of these DVD:
Wanted, Hellboy2, and Hancock...in case movies are an option. Sometimes my neighborhood kids have movie parties and if someone gets a new one they get voted to watch theirs. It might make the gift last a little longer if they can share it with their friends.
book for you
http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Preparedness-Handbook-Complete-Physical/dp/0936348070/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229615952&sr=1-3

This is a really complicated subject, even though your question is simple. You probably should go have a talk with your FIL about what he considers standard equipment for the house in your area. Good luck!
another book
I get dressed every day and keep my lace up shoes on all day, otherwise I will be tempted to nap..... After two years in my robe I was a bag lady.

http://www.amazon.com/Sink-Reflections-Marla-Cilley/dp/0553382179/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229622325&sr=1-2
book
I read a book about emergency preparedness. Wish I could tell you I had enough money to bury, but I don't!
Book online if you can...
And save your confirmation and payment receipt with your tickets. You should receive confirmation in your cabin at least 24 hours before your first shore excursion. If you don't, check with the Purser's office or the shore excursion desk.

I have traveled on Carnivel three times, most recently last month. I much prefer booking tours online instead of standing in line, and that eliminates finding out your tour is booked up once you get to the desk. Online will tell you immediately if the tour you want, at the time you've chosen, is full or not.

Hope this helps and that you have a great time. I love cruising!
Dog allergies/dog book
Don't know what kind of a dog but my sister had a Red Setter that had thyroid problems and also an allergy to wheat and so they had to buy special food without wheat which was only "Friskies" and that did help to cure the itching.   Oprah had a repeat on about the Dog Whisper and showed how he cured several dogs of being aggressive around other dogs.   His book is wonderful.  My neighbor got it and it worked for them.   Have been luck with my dog, she is now 16 which is very old for her mix -- chow/lab and she has never been aggressive.  Did not have any puppy problems with chewing or barking.  Of course she got her walks every day of over 2 miles at a time and I think that exercise is the biggest help.   Never crated her either and if and when I get another one will not do that to a dog.  Mine is now deaf and partially blind but still walks up to the park three times a day, slow but does it.  Never an accident in the house.  No medications except aspirin.  She will probably outlive me.
So, because I have his book I am uneducated?
Hmmmmm.
I ordered the DVD and the book.
I have been applying The Secret for about 2 or maybe a little more weeks now.  Also my husband and grown son are using it.  We are all experiencing interesting results.  I am using it to lose weight and so far have lost several pounds without dieting. My son worked on 5000 dollars and last week received 1000 and then got another 4000.  My husband is using it for more energy. 
OK-what is your fav book or what are you reading now
My very favorite book is Outlander by Diana Galbadon and I am current re-reading the second book in the Outlander series, Dragonfly in Amber. I would like to reread all 6 of them this summer, but Harry Potter is also coming out, so we'll see.  They are all huge books.