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It's a mother's duty to protect her children

Posted By: sm on 2007-01-21
In Reply to: Big deal.... - JJ

if at all possible and until she knows more about this woman she has no obligation to let her speak to her children - you have obviously never been in this situation.  I understand what you are saying about way worse and horrible situations in the world but that is not this OP's problem - her problem here is the emotional wellbeing of her children and it is her call and IMO she made the correct one. 


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A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm)
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!
Mother of the new 8 babies, single and has 6 OTHER CHILDREN ALREADY

Talk about litters. She lives with her mother and father apparently. Be willing to say because she is a single mother with all that group she is on welfare. Your tax dollars at work here.


you are exactly the kind of mother children give a rat's ass about
when they are grown! Why should they help you when you are old and crippled, when YOU did NOT give them a helping hand when they needed it?
Maybe once you will remember what I wrote.
A mother ring with my 3 children's birth stones:-)..nm
 - My husband is good to me!
P.S. Before anyone calls me a bad mother or blames me for any of his issues, my other two children
xx
How do we protect our
Children if we don't know what is going on?  What you did is no more than monitoring an online MySpace account, or other blogging.
Well, immunizations don't protect against...
the so-called "old and gone" diseases either. My husband had all his vaccinations and he had whooping cough as a child. Also, my daughter had the chicken pox vaccine and still had a case of the chicken pox, although somewhat milder than she may have had without it. So, who's to say that this vaccine will work any better than other vaccines??
My dad tried to protect me from a bioplar mom. yea my dad definitely!!
x
protect your kids
As a mom your first priority is to protect your kids, not protect your mother's feelings. If you feel your mother is crossing the line and won't stop after you talk to her, do what you need to to protect your kids.
Yes, but let's tell the truth and protect the embryos too. sm
Many geneticists have developed strong reservations about the relative value of ESC research versus ASC research. Obviously, every dollar that goes for ESC research does NOT go to ASC research. Both ESC and ASC research have been going on furiously around the world ever since stem cells were discovered, but it is the ASC research that has proven to be the most promising.

Yes, continue with ESC research, but not by de-funding ASC research, and not, by any means NOT, without protections for unborn human beings.

There really is no debate here.
So make it legal and tax and regulate it, to protect those sm
who are victims currently.
Oh, and slave duty.
They get to do chores if they can't behave. Having a car, having electronics, going out with friends, those are all optional. What's that joke about CPS and snotty teens? The one stating all we have to provide is a roof, a bed, clothing (even used), and three meals a day?
Jury Duty
I've been called just once and because I used to work for attorneys, I was good friends with the Judge and I couldn't serve. I'd love to, though.
Jury duty in Idaho (sm)
In Idaho they go by driver's license and voter registration so if they don't get you one way they'll get you another I guess. They would miss a lot of people if they only went by voter registration. I have included a link to a page that explains it if you want to check it out. Maybe some states or counties are different, but I bet they probably all do things pretty much the same. Of course maybe this is good for you, it means you were both right, sometimes that's a good way to end a debate amicably.

http://www.the3rdjudicialdistrict.com/jury.htm
And who shows up for Jury Duty

I went to Jury Duty months ago.  A judge came in the Jury Duty chambers and told us about the lack of a true system in Russia.  He personally visited Russia and interviewed their judges and prisoners.  Thus, be grateful you live the US. Be grateful you can speak your uncompassionate words.


Anyway in Michigan Jurors show up 47% of the time.  Kinda frightening given the judge's comment who is present for court every single day: 


Long story short:  A rapist was let go because potential jurors don't show up.  The case was dismissed.  That's really quite sad.


Please no matter no state you are in...........go to Jury Duty.


I need some heavy duty face cream...
…I have some areas on my face that are extremely dry, around my hair line, around my nose and I have used several creams trying to soften these areas up. Sometimes I even flake on my eyelids like I have sunburn and I use dandruff shampoo on my eyebrows because if not they will flake- no dandruff in the hair, though. I know this sounds awful but this is getting on my last nerve. I have put petroleum jelly on my face overnight- still dry in these patches. Does anyone else have something like this and if so any remedies? Thanks
I once was assigned guest book duty.
Like you, I didn't know what that entailed. When I arrived at the reception, I was told to hold the thing as people walked up and signed it. Basically, I was a human podium. If that's what the bride wants you to do, tell her to leave it on the table! How rude of her to expect so much! Show up in the red dress and don't even sign the silly guest book!
How many times you been called for jury duty? sm
We have lived here for 10 years.  My husband has been called 4 times!  They have never called me.  He never gets selected when they find out he is prior military, but we know within a year or two he will get called again. He does not mind and has actually told me he would like to be selected and hear a case sometime.  It just makes me wonder, though, how often does everyone else get called? 
First of all, I am sure that painting the walls is the landlord's duty.
Same with the carpet, the landlord has either to clean it or put a new one. It was also his duty to fix the stove and pay for it.
Regarding all the mess in his basement and all the leaks, which emerged after you signed the lease, the landlord is in the wrong, as he did not disclose it to you before you signed the lease.
You are definitely confronted with an dishonest landlord and as a former poster said, get a housing inspection which will prove that the home is 'uninhabitable.'
All this 'junk' in the basement is a perfect breeding and hiding place for roaches, rodents and other pests.
You can definitely get out of this lease and have the right to ask your deposit back.

Yeah, I just did jury duty, served on 2 trials in my small county court. There was a girl
did absolutely nothing. Good-looking, well-dressed young lady, may went out a few times (I'm sure to deliver a message or something), but other than that- absolutely nothing. What a job!. Am sure in my county at least, its all in who you know.

Good luck with your jury duty.
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*.... 
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc.  Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.


Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
All children are different
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old.  Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such.  Times are a changing.  I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.

Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?

Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"

I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
23 and 25 and like your children
my of my kids friends have older parents. All the kids like to hang out at our house because we "seem so much cooler" than their parents. Believe me, nothing goes on in this house that shouldn't. We just always have lots of junk food in the freezer, don't mind the music up loud, and love to just sit and chat with the kids. Last night one of my son's friends was picking him up to go to youth and she was early so we talked while he got ready. When it was time to go she said she didn't want to leave. It was really sweet.
Do you have children? LOL! sm
Meant that becasue I have a friend that says she has "brain damage cuz she has kids". I have a book that is titled "If questions for the soul". Not all questions are religious but most are. I had another one that was the same but not religious ? and loaned it to a friend. We often have these books in the car on family road trips. Really gets the family talking.
My children, now 26 and 25, are right there with yours. My
son works in retail (grocery store) and buys his jeans to wear to work at the thrift store.  None of us mind wearing thrift store clothes.  We tend to shop clearance racks and sales.  They are not particular about the brand of clothing they wear (I never was either) so long as they fit and are comfortable.  I'm really glad mine don't feel the need to compete with everybody else and spend everything they make trying to keep up with others. 
Since I do not know you or your children, sm
I can not tell you the effects it will have on them--but, do not think for a minute they do not know about and cannot feel the stress and fear you are dealing with.

For me, it was best for me and my children to have a peaceful, happy home than to live one more day like we had been. This is a personal choice and for us, I made the right one. Good luck to you.
you know your children and how
they are prone to react (ie, 'you turned out okay'). I never lied to my kids, but only shared my experiences when I thought it would add to their education about a subject, and of course was age appropriate. For example, about drugs, they know what i think about pot/weed, but they don't know anything else i may have tried. Sometimes personal experience gives validity to the discussion, but i sure wouldn't make it a confessional.
You ask if she has children, will tell you what she has
She has a man who is likely bisexual but then sounds like a closeted gay to me, marrying for his own reasons, a person who is refusing her sexually, probably getting his kicks elsewhere (as in the gay sex line and possibly meeting other guys and having affairs on her.) I would not care if I had 20 kids, there is not that much "love" in the world for me to stay and hope to have a relationship? Not this woman. I do not want to risk my life. I heard the saying for years- where there's smoke, there's fire- so much smoke around this guy he could set his own bonfire.
I don't have children - but
Let me start by saying I do not have children (but do have neices and nephews). Second...my language itself is well lets just say I shocked my mom quite a few times. Bad language just happens to be part of our everyday conversation (IN THE HOUSE)- mostly as we scream at the TV watching the news about politics. :-) We don't talk like that outside and certainly not around children. I think its disgusting. Our neighbors across the street talk to their children exactly like what you wrote above. Except their words were "get your f'n a** in the house" and "you give me that sh*t again and I'll beat your a**" So they aren't swearing as if they were talking about other people, they are swearing at their kids. They are just a couple of pigs! Just sounds very very low class. My husband and I said if you talk to your children like that how are they going to be respectful as they grow (mind you we have no experience whatsoever raising kids, but we would never talk like that to our kids if we had any).
Yes I have children
Apparently you did not read my whole post.

Even little children need to feel they have some control over their lives ... like letting them pick between two different outfits for school, rather than telling them what they are wearing.

A safe and fair compromise is not a bad thing. The daughter will have to choose if she wants to cooperate or not. If she will not, there there is only so much you can do and she will have to experience the consequences.

Just because she has started handling her desire for independence in a not-so-great way does not mean she cannot do things differently after receiving more information and some thought. You have to allow teens the room to make smarter decisions along the way ... people DO learn and grow. That's the plan anyway. :)
I think I have to ban my mom from seeing my children (sm)
She lives 500 miles from us and sees them about twice a year usually, but every single time, she says inappropriate things around them.  I end up asking her to please not tell them things like that and she gets angry at me and barely says anything for the rest of her visit.  Yet the next time she sees them, it is the same thing all over again.  It is as if she doesn't have a filter that tells her what to say and what not to say, and she talks incessantly.  She talks about people who made her mad 30 years ago and what they did and she says it in a mean, angry voice and goes on and on. She talks about sexual things in front of them. She talks about ghosts and demons and how she has seen them and how the world is about to end, and on and on.  Scaring them and also telling them things they shouldn't know.  She started talking yesterday about my teenage nephew being propositioned by one of his friends who had decided he was gay....saying the boy asked him to "take his clothes off and do something".  My 8 year old daughter started crying and told my mom it made her "feel weird" to hear that kind of stuff and to please not tell her anything else like that.  My daughter knows what gay is but she doesn't understand why someone would want someone else to take their clothes off and she doesn't need to right now!  Anyway, my mom went home last night but the kids are still asking once again about demons and ghosts and everything else.  I love my mother but I am thinking from now on, I will go visit her by myself and not have her come here at all, and not let her see my kids until they are much older.  Is this bad?
Boy men are such children - sm
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.
Yea me and him have no children but
he does have a child of his own from a previous relationship. But his son does not like me and has nothing to do with me so I don't consider him of my child. He doesn't speak to me. I won't even get started on those issues.
I have 2 children. The first, a boy,
natural birth, lasted 12 hours, was very painful for me, at the end I was so weak - when I started out with my pregnancy I was underweight - that they had to inject me something that made my final contractions stronger.

The second, a girl, epidural. By far easier, but took also 12 hours. Most important is to get a gynecologist who has lots of experience with epidural deliveries. After the delivery I had in some trouble, I really felt bad until my system got rid of the anesthetic.

If I had to do it a 3rd time, I would definitely choose the epidural.
She would not get the children, not next of kin
even if put in will. I saw a picture of her and she looks strange herself, doesn’t she?
mother in-law help sm

Ok, so here is what is going on.  My mother in-law fell down some stairs and broke her leg.  She did not have insurance.  She had not been to a doctor in 27 years.  She has been in the hospital for about 4 days.  They had to do surgery and things are looking good.  She will have to have rehab for a few months, use a walker and so on.  Well, guess who they ask to take care of her for the next few months?  The "stay-at-home" mom who has all the free time in the world haha (not to mention I have a 3 year old who stays at home with me and a busy 6 year old in school).  This would consist of me taking her to the restroom, bathing, changing dressings, helping with rehab exercises, not to mention working 8 hours a day and making sure my 3 year old doesn't climb on her.  I feel bad for saying no, but I think that they should feel bad for asking me.  She has 5 children.  I feel that it is way too much responsibility for me to take on and that it absurd that they asked me.  Aren't there facilities where she can go at least for the 1st month?  Please help, just need advise. 


 


And for anyone who wants to say "if it was your mother..."  Believe it or not, in June MY mother fell down some stairs and broke her ankle.  I was at her house every afternoon and we had people come in multiple times daily to check on her.  However, the mother in-law is about 25 years older and the extent of the injury is greater.  I would have never asked my husband to take care of her and help her do these things. 


My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law keeps giving my Longaberger baskets for b-days and Christmas.  She loves these baskets and has over 100.  She visits the factory several times a year, (about a 4 1/2 hour drive) and often takes the female family members with her.  These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but these baskets are expensive and I have over 20.  When I tried to mention to her as politely as possible that I just don't need any more baskets, she told me that she often changes hers out so she can enjoy them all.  I would much rather have sheets, bath towels, cookware, or even a gift certificate for dinner.  My hubby and I have been married 19 years, have to children, and have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law.  She is a fabulous grandmother, but I am really tired of the baskets.  Any suggestions?
I also have MVP and so does my mother...
so I don't know if there is a correlation or not between the two...