I have family members who live like that (sm)

• Needing A Mental/Emotional Jump Start - LONGLONG POST Feeling The Pressure
  • A few things - Pugmom
  • I can completely understand your frustration ..sm - Happy MTer
  • I've never heard - sm
    • He will run out of people, places and things. nm - Ella (retired)
  • I have family members who live like that (sm) - MeMT
  • I hear ya on the working-to-death thing. - see/msg
    • what does your brother file yearly to the IRS?...nm - ()
      • I have NOOOOO idea. For all I know, he - doesn't even file.
    • Exactly - Feeling the Pressure
  • I have always wanted more than just - Moving on up
    • That's part of the problem - Feeling the Pressure
      • Me too! - hard working suckah
      • I'm with you on that. My work ethic is quickly - becoming extinct. (nm)
      • You are what you are and he is what he is. - ()
        • Not to mention his liver, heart, pancreas, etc. sm - Ella (retired)
        • Thank you - Feeling the Pressure
          • I am so happy that my thoughts could - ()
      • Well you could always go back - swizzle stick

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I have a dilemma.  I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about.  At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food.  This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed.  I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him.  Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him.  Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would  never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously).  I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety.  I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care.  At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment.  Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold?  I know there are lots of animal lovers out there.  What does everyone think?? 

after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn.  I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT!  My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away! 

I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working.  They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning.  That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid.  I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed.  I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died.  The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside.  I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up.  We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.

Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down.  It is war!   

  (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)

since an addition is being made to a family during pregnancy, a lot of families see themselves as pregnant - as one - as a whole unit...nothing wrong with it - actually makes the entire family participate in it, which is a GREAT thing............not like the men of the 1950s who went to work and the moms did absolutely  everything else....I like men/families who WANT to take part and be involved.

Old fashioned or not - I prefer the way the men participate today in all of it..........makes for better communication and all know what's going on in the family....

FYI to all, keep your old fashioned minds open because a closed mind will make you old WAY before your time.

My biological mom moved out of state when I was in 3rd grade, and my stepmom's first husband had died in a car accident. Plus my sister and stepbrother are less than 2 months' apart in age, which mostly didn't get noticed because she moved out of state with my mom while I stayed with my dad. The only thing that caused confusion was that my stepsister and I have almost identical names (similar first name, same middle name, last name with same first initial), and the oldest 4 of us all have names starting with M. When my brother was born, they gave him name starting with J

I find it interesting that when a young woman posted that her mother and grandmother were abusing her, no one felt sorry for her.  Everyone one told her to forgive and forget.  I also find it interesting how judgemental everyone was about who was the victim. That the grandmother and the mother were the victim and not the daughter.  It seems ironic given the long, long, long, posts on domestic violence this morning.

Wanted to let you know you are not alone.  I went through a similar situation myself.  I married this wonderful man, and while I knew he had really down moments, I did not realize they were to that extent.  After moving 10 hours away from my parents and support system of friends I found out some very shocking news.  He had bipolar manic depressive disorder.  I loved this man, I even allowed him to adopt my son.  Then the worst thing happened, I came home to find him sitting on the floor with a knife.  I was scared so of course I called his father and mother.  We checked him into  a facility and while doing the interview/intake my MIL relates to the nurse that he had previously attempted to take his life.  He had done this several times.  I sat there in shock I knew nothing of this.  I can clearly remember the look in my FIL eyes when he seen that I was not privy to this information.  I was hurt and angry and still am to an extent.  I still love this man to this day but had to let him go as that is what he wanted.  My inlaws and I had several long talks one resulting in me becoming so angry I told my mother in law that she was allowing this behavior and I thought she was to blame for all of his problems.  If she had been a better mother this would not be happening.  I hurt her that night and I regret it now.  When I did make amends she told me she knew I was just hurt scared and needed to vent.  I think you will find that is what you have done.  There will come a time for you to make your amends, when you are ready. I do not feel that you were being out of line when you said these things.  That is how you feel.  We have to own our feelings because running from them will never help.  You are hurting right now.  My guess is you are frustrated as well.  Help was all you asked for and none was provided.  You have a right to those feelings.  I would just drop this idea of another email.  Why do you have to be sorry?  You have children and a husband who is ill concentrate on them.  They need you.  Best of luck to you and your family. 

My mom used to do that. UPS was always stopping at her place delivering something from QVC or HSN EVERY DAY! I soon found out that she had maxed out all her credit cards. She was going into early dementia stages and really didn't remember ordering all that stuff, and all she really had was $500 a month SS, yet her CC payments were close to that a month because of it. That's when I stopped watching, too.

If this woman has family, I'd let them know about it, so they could try to stop it before it gets out of hand.

I need some advice.  I married my husband almost 3 yrs. ago.  I have an adopted son from a previous marriage.  My husband's family is very close, sisters all live within walking distance of each other.  They have never experienced life without the other.  I did not have family very close like that while growing up so it took some getting used to.  Which I thought I had.  Until this.  Little over a year and a half ago my husband's grandmother died.  My father in law put together a  memorial CD to be played at the service, afterwards we all recieved a copy.   Which was very nice.  I still have it. 

Since my husband and I both work and we have a son who at this point in time cannot stay by himself, and because my husbands mother loves him he goes there until one of us get done with work.  Yes I make sure she is paid.  My son came home last week and asked me if he would be sad like everyone at grandmas house when I died.  I was taken aback.  Mainly because I haven't really thought about dying and I was confused about the question.  When I asked him to explain to me what he was talking about this is what I got.

Well every morning at grandmas she makes us watch the great grandma video her and the other aunts all cry and carry on.  It is to the point that the youngest in the family who was only 3 weeks old when grandma died comes over as well and cries.  Grandma died in January of 07. 

I approached my husband with this and he sees no problem with it.  That is just how it is.  Ever since I brought up my concerns he has shut me out.  I am not invited to family things.  If I make an effort to try they shut me down.  I can't go to my husband because he is the same way.  I guess I am not sure what or how to handle this.  My husband and his family are great people.  I am just getting tired of being called a liar and trouble maker. 

I told my son it is not healthy for this to happen he is 12.  I told him when something does happen to me, I know he will be sad for awhile but I would not want him to carry on like what is happening right now.  We all have a season to love, live, give, and make the world we know a  little better just by being here.  I know grandma would be sick  if she saw this.  I am concerned this will break apart our marriage as the family bond is VERY THICK.  Please let me know what the appropriate thing to do would be in this case.

Thanks

This saying is on the grave of one of Mark Twain's daughters, written by Robert Richardson.

Warm summer sun
shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
blow softly here,
Green sod above Lie light, Lie light,
Good night, Dear heart,
Good night, Good night.

Maybe I could've forgiven her for putting her hands on me, but now she is 100% lying and saying that didn't happen.  This I don't think I can forgive.

I'm done with this and am going to move on.  Unfortunately, my family dimensions are different now and that is sad.

You made my day!!  Faith and love is still alive in this world of ours.  Thanks for sharing.