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I posted back in late August about cc debt - sm

Posted By: relieved MT on 2008-10-14
In Reply to:

in response to someone else giving advice on what to do.  I told you about how I had a ton of debt my DH knew nothing about, how I was afraid of him, etc.  and that I just did not know how to tell him. I consulted a lawyer and got some insight and advise in case things went really bad when I did tell him.  Well I finally bit the bullet and told him on Monday.  He was off from work, kids were in school, I wrote a 4 page letter laying it all out.  I went out in the LR and I asked him if he loved me and was happy in our marriage, I got yes's to both questions.  Then I handed him the note (bawling at this point) and said I was going out for a little while and we would talk when I came back.  He called me 10 minutes later, upset yes, but not nuts as I expected.  We ended up talking for 2 hours.  He was quite good about it which really surprised me, he was in shock though.  Later last night after he got drunk not horribly so but enough, though he did not turn nasty.  I had asked him not to drink but he ignored that, so as a result he broke down said a few things which I probably deserved, though he does not believe I was scared of him....denied ever threatening to kill me, said if he did he was kidding and it was his sick sense of humor.  I told him I take all death threats seriously.  But comes down to he does not want to divorce over it, for which I am happy and grateful, and I think this will ultimately help us.  We are taking a 401K loan for the debt on his cards, and I will go to a credit consolidator for the debt on my cards......any recommendations on that front?  My credit is in the dump so this is not going to make it much worse.  In five years we will be free and clear, paid off debt and house at that point.  I have a huge breach of trust to heal and don't know how to go about it, that is what is hurting him the most and the fact I waited so long to tell him, couldn't understand why I felt I could not come to him when it all started.  So he learned what a conniving wife he has and I learned that I had what I wanted all along, just didn't know it.  We still have a lot to work out, and I am in for 5 or more years of snide backbiting remarks at times I am sure, but I think there is hope for us actually. 


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I will be 40 in August and am back in school after 20 years -
I will be graduating with my associates degree in accounting in December. May go on for my 4 year, but may just do an associates in business management also. I am like you - ready to ditch the MT world.
Sorry, late when I posted
but I am talking about plants to grow inside that have some fragrance, nothing that takes a lot of babying because not much of a green thumb here. I have loads of green plants but just would like to have some really nice-smelling ones. At my previous home I had gardenia bush right outside my door and so sweet during the summer. Any ideas?
Sorry to get back to you so late, but
Noah was lying under a bunch of bricks, etc from the collapse. He was not awake.

I would hate to see him go. He is a cute kid. I like him. Yes, only soap world but feels like real life sometimes.
I miss fizzies. They came back out in the late 90s, but left quickly. sm

They can't compete with soda, but when I was a kid soda was a rare thing, so fizzies were wonderful.


You posted back on 1/02...sm

and a lotta folks gave you great suggestions on food and nutrient supplements for your old furkid.  Go back and review those posts. 


I'm sorry to hear that she's still losing weight. 


I've had quite a few cats and when they get unsteady on their feet, can't get to the litter by themselves and losing weight, ya know what time it is. (And I know you don't want to hear that from your original post).  


Just keep her comfy, feed her favorite goodies and love on her.  Cat              


sorry about the posted by I forgot to change my name back nm
!
A few weeks back I posted about calling the police s/m

about dark barking next door to me. If you remember, I was feeling a lot of guilt and sadness in the beginning because I love dogs so much and did not want to do anything to make things worse for them.


Well, at first my very verbal neighbor was very compliant and I almost never heard a bark for the first two weeks. Now since Wednesday (my day off, thankfully) the large dog who sits at the back door wanting back in the house is being kept out almost the entire day again. Wednesday morning was terrible. I kept looking out the window seeing him sit by the door, and any noise that I make in my kitchen or the guy downstairs might make obviously gets him going again. If you remember, this young guy next to me got furious, was waving his arms and screaming at me in front of the police. I don't think I have to tell you that I don't want to do that again. Why would anyone buy a beautiful dog just to put it out and have it bark to get back in? He has been sitting there now since 7:30 a.m. and it is now after 10:30 am.  He does not bark continously, but on and off for hours and hours, sometimes with a minute or so break. It is warm, nice sunny weather here, so the dog is not in extreme heat or cold. They take him in at night.  I have been going through a depression that is impossible to describe. I can't afford to move, but I am so tired of seeing this poor thing sitting by the back door in an array of toys, debris, etc. This was a decent neighborhood before Mr. Inconsiderate moved next door. If I call the police again things will be terrible. I live here alone. Thank you just for listening. The dog is not the problem. He is a beautiful dog and just wants to go in. He deserves a better life. They also have two Daschunds and they are inside most of the time. The big dog is not tied and has a small yard to run in while he is out.  


Craig Ferguson, Late Late Show
Such a great interviewer and SO handsome!
What would you do if your doc was always late with an appt and you were late arriving?
Took my daughter to our family doc today - we were late a half hour but this doc is always at least an hour behind in seeing patients.  I have been going to this doc for 15 years and love him.  The last time I saw him I waited over two hours.  The receptionist reminded me we were late (geez, as if I didn't know that already).  I apologized and gave her the reason why.  She then said "they would try to fit us in."  After waiting for an hour, I asked when did she think we would be seen.  Another 15 minutes went by and we were called by the nurse.  After waiting in the exam room for over a half hour, I took my daughter's chart with a check for our co-pay, brought both to the checkout desk, and then left.  I realize emergencies do come up but I feel my time is money as I work as an IC and with sitting and waiting for the doc to show up I'm losing money.  I'm already thinking of changing docs but this one is exceptional.  Maybe I just need to vent.  Any opinions or similar experience?
Here in mid-TN they start the first of August, sm
Unfortunately, the temps have been 100+ and messing up the air-conditioning, so some school districts were just going half days, also no air-conditioning on buses.

Local university started classes today.
Early August in AL
August 7 in the Prattville AL area.
School's right, late is late. However...
*if* these things were legitimately said, about your son and your "bad parenting" particularly, I doubt you would be here posting. You would be contacting the highest school official you could right now. It sounds like you are rallying support over feeling chastised and exaggerating, frankly.

As for the book report, if your son needs to do it instead of the play, he also needs to be able to approach the teacher. I find it unlikely a 2nd-grade teacher would assign a book report, then not explain it in any way. Most 2nd-graders are doing fill-in-the-blank book reports on forms the teacher provides. Is it likely your son should already know this?

About being late, it doesn't matter if your tire was flat or you drove in a fog or it takes you 40 minutes. Children are to be at school on time.

Stop making excuses. Get the children to school on time. If someone lost their cool at the school and said these things, you have legitimate grounds for taking the next step. You are wasting time and energy whining here.

If you are not happy with the school, take your children's education into your own hands and educate them yourself, via homeschooling. Then your children don't have to be in lock-step with all the other little soldiers the schools are raising in their institutional setting.
Yep, Disney World in August. Doesn't get better
xx
August 22nd for my 1st grader here in Iowa
nm
We have had one since August - kids pooled their money - sm
and bought it (we refused to buy it for them); my DH tried to teach his dad pool on Christmas, boy was his dad bad, couldn't even score, when he finally did he scratched. My DH won 36-0. His mom loved the bowling game though and did very well (she bowled in a league years ago and was/is quite good at it). My girls love it and it is getting my one a bit more physical as she moves around more with this than with the Gamecube or her DS lite. They got the dancing game for Christmas and are having a lot of fun with it. They even have Wii's in nursing homes now since it gets the residents up and moving about, a sort of therapy.
Absolutely love Christmas. Start shopping every year by end of August for kids. sm
Start getting lists from rest of family by end of Sept. into Oct and usually have everything done, bought, and wrapped by Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!! By doing that I can sit back and just enjoy the beauty of the season.
Might do that one day, but have some debt to get rid of first - sm
So putting out $6500 for a TT will have to wait; in a year I may be able to think about it, then save up the $$$ for it. I have done some research into this and know I first have to lose the weight and be stable at my goal weight for a while before I can have that done if I want to do this right. Guess I will just have to wait and see just how bad it looks after I shed the 70+ pounds. Feeling good right now, just went outside did some yardwork that I usually never have time to do (really didn't now either but work can wait), felt good to be active for a change, though I must now sit on my big butt and work for the next 4-6 hour! My thing is that I have to get more physically active, sit way too much!
Out of debt
Congratulations!!! Isn't it a wonderful feeling?
debt
I agree with transferring to 0% when the offers come. I have been doing that for years. Now, I just got an offer for 6.99% for the life of balance up to 12,000 dollars. Going to take that offer, (we are going to remodel our main but small bathroom) and pay off 2 1/2 cc; then what is left over, oh, and going to give my hubby 1000 to get out bike out of shop, so, what ever is left over, which should be 6 to 7000, will redo bathroom, payments won't be bad, like 190 a month and don't use your cards for a good while, just steadily pay. Hope this helps, and life is too short to stress over bills. Keep them in mind but at the same time, think of what you have.
I am totally out of debt -
house, cars, motorcyles, credit cards. Everything!

It feels great!
Paying down debt

It is getting harder to make ends meet because of all the straws in our bank account.  I have 17k in CC dept alone.  It is with 4 different CC companies.   One CC has $200, #2  has about 4K, #3 has about 2K, #4 has 10k.  The 10K one has a 15 % APR, the others I believe range from 24% to 29% APR.  My biggest monthly payment is my house and I owe only  $4700 on it and it has 6.3% APR.  I sold some things and am getting $5K and that will be enough to pay off my house.   I would love to finally, officialy own this house and get rid of that $350 monthly pmt,  but I wonder if I should not pay down on the CC because of the high interest rates.  Any opinions.  TIA. 


 


Paying Down Debt
I feel you, believe me.  First, Bravo to you for facing this.  That's the hardest part.  I think if you are so close to paying off your house, you wouldn't want to take out yet another loan against it.  Additionally, the interest rates aren't that great.  What is the total of payments you are making on your credit cards?    If you can slap that 5000.00 on your debt first on all of the higher interest ones perhaps paying some of them off.  That will free up extra money to put on the rest of your credit cards.  Then once the credit cards are paid off, you can then work on the mortgage (I WISH I had your mortgage..).  Also we work in an industry where it is easy to pick up extra work---have you thought of that just to get extra money to pay off the debt?  That's what I'm trying to do.  Things are just so bad right now.  Good luck, hope this helps...
credit debt
Wow thanks for all the good tips.

As this got off the subject and onto other things, I just wanted to say I have heard Al-Anon is excellent for people dealing with alcoholism in a spouse or other loved one. It might be a great place for support for you and your kids. Just a thought.
Well, the only debt we have is our house...
so I would put it towards the principal on our mortgage.
Did you go into debt over the holidays?
C'mon, fess up!

Did you use credit to buy things for the holidays, or did you pay in cash?

I'm happy to report that for the 13th year, we paid in cash.

credit card debt
Not sure what will happen, but I do wish you luck. Credit card debt is an unsecured type of debt. I don't know what more they can do to you other than a judgement. Not sure you can put that under a bankruptcy either once the judgement has been placed. I know a lawyer that handles a lot of bankruptcies -- did some work for him. He always asked his clients if late payments had gone to judgements. If they had not gone that far he was pleased about it. I guess it made things easier legally. Not really sure.
Completely out of debt today!
I have paid all of my big bills off and now only have the monthly ones. Need to pop a cork!
debt consolidation/relief
I'm seriously considering going with one of those debt relief companies to get myself out from under a mound of credit card debt. I feel like I'm drowning. Has anybody had any experience with these companies, good or bad?
Strive to become debt free...

yes, that means living on a budget, telling the kids (and yourself and your spouse) no to impulse buying and splurges. You really can live below your wage if you WANT to and it is better to do it before you HAVE to due to job loss, etc. We are debt free but our home, no car payments, all credit cards paid off, only have the utilities and food each month. It feels great not to write checks to anyone. My DH just finished his obligation of 700 a month child support (Yay!!) which means more towards the mortgage to pay it off sooner. We are content with what we have...too many Americans want it all and want it now, no matter what the price, just charge it or take out a loan for it...crazy!


Oops, should have been paying off a debt
/
Do your homework on debt collection (sm)

laws also - you just may have yourself a $1000 piece of paper in your hand. 


Have you requested validation of this debt?  If not, I would do that right away.  Send it certified mail, return receipt requested.  Depending on the age of the debt, I would be very careful about sending the canned "do not contact me letter."  If the debt is not that old, that can sometimes trigger them to sue.  I bet if you send the "please provide me with full validation (not verification that you have my name, address and soc. sec#) of this alleged debt.  Short and sweet. 


Before considering the CCCS or debt relief (sm)
places, first call the companies.  If you haven't been charged off yet, most will work with you and have hardship programs.  The accounts will likely be closed, but after 3-4 ontime payments they will "re-age" to show as current, will lower the interest rate so payments are lower and you will pay off over a 4-5 year period (in most cases, you can't use the cards as acct will be closed to further charges in exchange for drastic reduction in interest rate).  Going with CCCS or similar, has the same effect as a BK, even worse, on your credit rating.  The accounts will report as "closed, paying under debt management plan."   While bankruptcy is an option I suppose, if you're a homeowner or have any assets, you'd have to file Chapt. 13 which will allow for some payback.  I'd call the companies first and lay out your situation and see what they suggest.  The credit industry is in a mess right now so they are willing to work with you if you're upfront and showing good faith.
Anyone ever use a debt settlement company - sm
like DebtAmerica or something like that, one that eliminates 30% or more of your balance owed, consolidates it and gets each cc to settle on an agreed amount, etc.  I am thinking of going that route instead of CCCS company which is just a DMP (consolidates it but you still pay back every penny and interest).  Either way you have a big black mark on your credit.  I owe a substantial amount and this way I can probably be debt-free in 3-4 years instead of 8 years. I know they charge a fee, and you have to pay taxes on the settled amount but it will be a lot cheaper for me in the long run and I can afford it a lot better.  So if anyone has gone this route, please give me your input and who you used and if you were happy with their service, etc.  TIA!   
Why would you take vacations when you're in such debt?
The money for those planned vacations could be paid towards your credit card. If you're income in increasing soon, why not apply the increase to the bills until the debt is gone and then reward yourself with a nice vacation that you save up for?
If it is an old debt, I've been told that the place that
the court with the original document that you signed before they can get a judgment to garnish wages.  Usually they can't come up with it if the account was taken out a long time ago.  I would look into it a little maybe even just online.  Try consumer affairs website.  Good luck.
I know it's popular, but don't put unsecured debt on your home.
No way, never ever do that. It's a huge mistake, you could end up losing your home. The risk is too great.

credit card debt relief
Does anyone have any experience with those companies claiming to reduce debt by up to 70%, etc. ?? I'm drowning in debt. :(
Credit Card Debt Counseling

http://www.cccsatl.org/index.asp?_method=view&sc=43&cn=486&md=debtmanagement


Here's what you want to use...  It is called Consumer Credit Counseling Services.  They are legit.  Now back when hubs and I did it about 15 years ago, there were no computers, per se, so we went on site to an office.  I don't know what state you're in or if there is an office local to you, but it looks like you can do this online. 


We did it, completed it, and it was great.  However, they cut your credit cards up in front of you and put them in a huge jar (at least they did back then).  Once you join, there are no more credit cards.  What CCCS does is works with your creditors to reduce interest rates, payment size, etc. because they are networked.  You then make one lump payment to CCCS and they disburse the money.  They also take into consideration your income.  I think that's what makes it all work.  Also, this is what tells them how long it will take to pay off the debt.  Just beware though that if you are "behind" on payments, sometimes certain creditors do not accept CCCS, so they may hassle you still and some just plain won't accept CCCS's offer. 


Believe me, even though we are not late on payments, we had in the past 3 years so much personal stuff go on (sickness, death, etc.) that we have racked up some debt ourselves and may try CCCS again, as one card we have raised the rate to 33% interest because we have a high balance.  We make regular payments.


All in all, it's a great plan and it does work, but you no longer have credit cards (they close the accounts), and you will have a "bad mark" but yet a good mark on your credit report for using CCCS.  Check with them about that though, as I do not know the specifics.  It is way better than bankruptcy...


Hope you find some relief soon!  My thoughts are with you...  I'm not judgemental because I've been there and done that. 


Anyone ever been sued by a debt collection agency

My husband and I have an account which we feel we don't owe.  We cancelled it within the amount of time we thought we had to cancel, but were later told the contract for services was not cancellable (a vacation timeshare).  The original amount was only $1,000.


Since that time, the timeshare company has sold our "debt" to a third party collection agency, Apelles.  They call at all hours and even on weekends.  Since I have caller ID, most of the time I don't even answer.  This morning, however, they called at 8:45 and woke up my kids.  I was a little annoyed, to say the least, and I'm just wondering:  Does anyone have any personal experience with this company.  I'm thinking about sending a Cease and Desist letter, but I'm worried that that will trigger them to take me to court.  Has anyone ever been sued by Apelles?  I would think our amount is too small to be worth their time and that they would just try to sell it to another agency.  Any thoughts?


Love him! We are debt free but the house....
on an income of around $100,000 a year. DH may be getting laid off in the coming months but we just refinanced to a great below 5% rate, all our credit cards are paid off, we have savings built up to see us through tough times and we don't really worry about what may come. Sure, our cars are a few years old but guess what, they drive just like brand new ones. We still eat out several times a week, we take a month long vacation every year and we are happy with the things we have. We buy what we want when we want, but we aren't slaves to the newest TV, cell phone, i-phone, etc.We have no one to impress and really don't care what others have. We have the peace of mind that we can go to bed every night without much worry, the phone doesn't ring nonstop from creditors and we can go to the mailbox and not cringe when the bills come in. The country is in this financial mess because of greed, plain and simple; fat cat greed, greedy consumers in this I have to have it NOW society, and most think the free ride is never going to end. Sad....
credit card debt lawsuit question

If there is anyone out there who has been sued and had a judgment placed for credit card debt....


What happens when you go to court??  I don't own a house and live week to week (part-time IC, not very supportive husband) so they can't get blood from a stone so to speak.  But I was wondering if anyone has gone to court and what actually happens. 


credit card debt lawsuit question
Anyway you can declare bankruptcy, chpt 7?  I am going that route.  :(

 

Do you have a lot of monies owed where bankruptcy is a real possibility?

 

I'm going through a similar time......talk about stress!!!!!!!

I used Debt Free Today. Pretty good
company. Never had any troubles with them. Just sent them a check once a month and they distributed among my creditors on the agreed amount. I think we paid off in 4 years. Was really nice!
Yeah, stay out of that family debt deal, if ya can. :) nm
nm
Then they can get right back on their tires and rafts and float on back to Cuba! nm
nm
Pay off highest interest rate debt first, then the next, and onto the next. The house can wait. Do
dd
got here a little late - but I can tell you why
she is doing it - it will only happen around mating season - she sees the reflection of herself in the door, grill, whatever - I have even known of hubcaps - and thinks it is a rival.  It looks painful - but she will do it in anything she can see herself in. 
Try this if not too late
Same kind of thing happened to me recently. Do you have access to an ATM? I went at 11:00 at night and deposited just enough (6 bux). It stopped a check from bouncing the next day. Maybe I just got lucky but couldn't hurt to try!
Never too late - sm
I am going back to school and I'm 39. I will be starting my first classes for winter quarter. Should have done it years ago but.... doing it now anyway.

I'm nervous and excited.

I say GO For It!
Take her to your PCP now before it's too late

Then have her committed to a drug rehab.  This is going to be a long road but unless she gets away from the friends who do the drugs, she'll never get off of them.  She needs help sounds like "yesterday" and I wouldn't hesitate to have my son or daughter tested and committed.  Sorry you are experiencing this. 


At least a "f-u" is something and she's not totally blocking you out, but she'll need your support. 


I think Im late on this, but...
Why no culture and sensitivity? Thats just crazy. That should have come first and you would probably be better by now. Go and get it and get started on an appropriate antibiotic. I hope you feel better soon.