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Much harder with women with children who work

Posted By: Ansley on 2009-02-02
In Reply to: This occupation is 24/7 - I think that's why so many of us with children

outside the home. This is a piece of cake compared to mothers who not only have to get their children ready for school and/or nursery and then get them there. I have done both, much easier this way.


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I find it to be harder working from home with children who are not in school..
I have a 2 year old home with me all day and believe me it would be much easier to take her to day care and get my work done...
Yes, they do thrive!! I think we work harder (sm)
Than any other group of parents - we do it all and we bust our butts to make it work because we need the job and we love our kids. I have done this since before my kids were born (10 years) and took another job for a while away from home. My kids were miserable being shuffled around all the time. My daughter even thought up my resignation letter for me, exactly what I should say, "I'm sorry, you people are all really nice, and I appreciate the job, but I'm not spending enough time with my kids, so I really need to work at home again." How do you like that??
Husband for sale - harder to work with him home than the grandkids. (sm)

He is cleaning our furnace and muttering, muttering, hollering where is this, I bet I have got up and went in there 4 times this morning to just have him mutter never mind I found it. 


You gotta love them, but he of all people should know my money comes from my butt being in that chair. 


No outside contact & children and women taught
nm
Abusive to women, animals - thank goodness there are no children involved. (sm)
get her out of that situation before any more harm comes about.

Youngest daughter once dated a guy and we discovered she was afraid to not be ready on time, to wear something he didn't like, etc. Soon we found out there were bruises on her upper arms and near her breasts. Needless to say, we marched her to the courthouse, got an ex parte. He broke into our house after that when he thought she was home alone, we pressed charges and had that young man paying court costs for quite some time in addition to going to anger management classes.

We were lucky, we got her out before it was too late. He had her emotionally beat down to the point she couldn't stand up on her own. Heaven help those without a support system.
Women's work

I agree with the OP concerning professionalism.  I believe it comes from anything that jobs that (primarily) women perform having the perception of not being serious work.  If she is working at home, that perception is doubled.  I also agree with having a schedule and sticking to it; plus if you have help to do your primary work, do it and don't feel guilty.  Generally doing many things at once means you cannot do anything well in my opinion.  But I do have to admit what works for one person doesn't work for others. 


We know we have historically multi-tasked.  I remember my daddy telling about my grandmother helping my grandfather with plowing at times, guiding the mule's head and leaving her baby under a shade tree, with a brick holding down the child's gown and the family dog keeping watch. She wasn't thought of as neglectful--just doing what had to be done.   Unfortunately, women have to work harder and be smarter than men to be competitive and we just have to know in our hearts we contribute significantly to society.  What's that old joke--luckily that's not too hard!  


Having your children visit at work does not just go along
with a small town setting. I lived and worked in Atlanta and the hospital I was at did not want family members to visit at any time, kids, mothers, aunts. Being small town has nothing to do with this practice and I think it makes sense myself.
Wow, talk about being on the defensive! Yes, I have children, but I don't work when they're pl
I'm single, too, pay the bills all by my little bitty self.  I'm in the same boat, but I don't put my children in potentially precarious situations by working and not paying attention to them.  You are zoned into the headphones while your children are playing around with stuff they're not supposed to.  You should justify my post with a response, but one that is more along the lines of..."you know, you're right. I should work my schedule when the children aren't into things and I'm not watching."  Incidentally, I work and sleep nights when my children are sleeping. I work 6 days a week and crank out around 2500 lines a night. I have my shortcuts streamlined to the point where most of the dictation that comes in I have a shortcut for, so I can produce a very large volume of lines in a very short period of time.  I have somewhere around 60,000 shortcut entries in my PCShorthand.  My children go to bed at 8 PM and that's when I start work.  I go to bed at 1 AM and get up about 7 AM.  I get about 6 hours of sleep a night and for me that's plenty and I function just fine.  During the day, I am able to spend quality time with my children, take them to the doctor, do the shopping, pay the bills, school functions, etc., so it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take, plus it was easier finding a night job than a day job.  Of course, there's absolutely no time for a boyfriend since I have the full time job of transcribing and the full time job of being a mother, but maybe one day that will be an option. 
and try finding time to workout between children and work...
I wish I had the energy of my 8 year old....
I'd rather ID's were made harder to get so my next
:/
It would be much harder for them to adapt. - sm
Would probably suffer at least a few falls when they jump up onto something thinking their claws will hold them, and whoops - no claws. The little declawed girl I'd adopted from a rescue had been declawed by the original owner, and had developed a very specialized way of jumping up onto things like tables, bookshelves, etc. First of all, she had the ability to jump about 6 feet, STRAIGHT UP. None of my other cats could ever do that. And her landings were almost surgically precise, almost as if she were landing on a bed of nails. But then again, considering how sensitive here little paws were, that's probably not too far from the truth.
To me it always seems to be harder on the boys (sm)
My husband are like that - oil and water for sure. We just can hardly stand to live together anymore. We have been trying to stay together for the kids for years.

How did affect you and your sister?? Would it have been better if they had stayed together or was it just a bad situation either way? I feel like I am choosing the lesser of the evils.
why is it so much harder these days?
My grandmother raised four children during the depression. She and my grandfather both worked out of the home. In fact, so did my mom and uncle, the two eldest children. And their story was not unlike many other families. The fact is, MOST generations before the post WW II era had parents and children working. It was the fact of a very hard life. So how is it that my grandparents were able to raise the so-called Greatest Generation? By not indulging children. They didn't have time for it. And everyone was on the same page, so the village could indeed raise the children. Everyone was held to the same high standard of social behavior, and no parent got bent out of shape if someone else contributed to the child's discipline. And yes, of course, times were not so wonderful back then either. There were plenty of problems.

It is not ok for children/teens to be out of control or to express their rude opinions without a care how it will be received, just as it is not ok for adults to do so. Freedom of speech has nothing at all to do with rudeness. Freedom of speech in the constitution guarantees us the right to put forth opinions and ideas for change without fear of having the King or government lop off our heads. It doesn't mean you can go around publicly calling people names.
I really do not look forward to the state of affairs in another 20 years when the I-I generation (Indulged and Irresponsible) has to step up to the plate.
but it's harder to dose
I think if there were a pill, I might feel differently, but I am against people smoking pot in the name of medicine. There are other drugs to combat nausea and such, without the high. I really think it's just a big excuse for people to get high and that is what I am against. I can tell that the majority here disacrees with me and that's okay, too, but I figured that instead of a bunch of one sided posts, perhaps the OP would like to hear from someone on the other side. Maybe not...
to me, Absolutely Everything in life is harder
        
The ones I knew had it harder, no coddling (sm)
My grandmother worked her butt off, and took care of the kids and her husband was a jerk (my mother's stepfather). Her husband and love of her life had died in WWII and she had remarried. She should have left the SOB she married but in that day and age she already had a strike against her from being remarried and no way in heck would she have been able to make enough money to support her four children. She had a LOT of responsibility. A lot of us still live that way now. You're just lucky :)
Love Barnies, too, but harder to find one now that S'bucks bought up so many of them. nm
x
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
Yes - does not work! Hoax if you ask me. MetaboLife doesn't work either.
The only thing that works for me is exercise and eating correctly! No quick fix, unfortunately.
Why do women always seem...
to be the guinea pigs for pharmaceutical companies? There is no way would I want my granddaughters subjected to this.
But you and I both know, women
have always and as far as I can see will continue to carry the burden. If we did not take birth control and it was left to a man to tell us they had taken a pill, would you want to chance that? I don't think so. If a woman has a child a lot of men can and do turn their backs and who is responsible then? It is the woman again. I take the responsibility for my own health- I would never want to leave up to a husband/partner to assure me he had taken his medicine for STD??/used his birth control??/infertile???/etc., etc. This is the reason you see lots of females left holding the bag because they do want to put trust in their man.
I think 90% of women...
Find their husbands repulsive and repugnant. You are not alone. Just close your eyes and go to your happy place.

Have you ever seen what those women look like?
Kids that age just want to fit in, not look like their mom or the lady at the Macy's counter. I let my daughter wear what she wanted even I thought it looked pretty bad at times. She is now 18 and wears appropriate make up for an 18yo.
I know these women are old but
Tina Turner and also Cher both have the ole folks spread now. I guess some of these so called actresses in Hollywood that are size 0 minus only have to wait some years and there you go.
Women, you don’t have to put up with this
My husband just told me a few minutes ago I was his best friend (as he is mine) and he was so glad he had married me, how others do not seem to get along, fighting all the time, yelling, upset- this is definitely not our life. Ladies, there are good guys out there- please look, don’t settle for more than you deserve.
well, of course the women
would win!  We have about four different versions of it. 
that's what I mean. For women like you
whose husband is better looking than themselves, this story is especially insulting and hurtful. A very bitter joke (?)
I look far better than my husband, but I am not going to look for a 22-year-old, never came into my female mind.

A really good joke should NEVER insult anybody!
Excellent!!! More women should do this....
              
why is it that women SEEM to be desperate in....

If things were so good with the OP with her current marriage, do ya think she'd be online reconnecting with anybody?!?!?!?!


So many women appear desperate to me in their 50s...and I don't know why because I'm in my late 50s and am never desperate sounding, appearing, etc......I just don't get it.  And no, I have chosen not to be married any longer for the past 16 years......


you know that old sayin?  want a man in my life, not in my house full time?!?!??!! 



Good for you, but I'm just saying some women don't need or want a man....
thank you very much ;)
Women who shop with their
What is the deal with st**pid women who think they are special enough to take their dogs to the malls, grocery stores and other places these dogs shouldn't be? I was at Macy's today and a little dog in a woman's purse barked at people passing by. I made some rude comments to the woman but why do stores allow these people to continue to shop?

Unfortunately most men say that to women who are overweight.
Pay more attention to who he is checking out/drooling over on TV - bet it isn't Roseann Barr or Camryn Manheim! lol
I will never understand some women

It's a beautiful day today, and a co-worker was saying she'd love to go home and take her dog for a walk. But her husband is home sick and he won't let her go without him.


She does stuff like that all the time. I think the only place she's allowed to go by herself is work. She can't go to the grocery or get gas or to the drugstore without him. She has no friends other than their joint friends.


Drives me nuts. What kind of a life is that? I guess it's OK for her, but I would hate to always have to be chaperoned by my husband.


Women, what are you thinking?
You are staying with a guy because he is too big?? You are staying because of the kids?? This is not the dark ages. You are probably not slaves (although I did read the other day about some foreign folks being held slaves in another state somewhere). You have no idea how fast life goes by on you. I so wish I had done differently than to stay with a guy who did not treat me right- but having said that, years ago when I called the police to get away from my husband- and this was years ago- told they could not intervene being as we were married. Now, dear, times have changed. You can leave, can get assistance and can be in charge of your own lives. I wish a thousand times or more I had met this present husband and lead such a delicious life like now. You will wake up 1 day, believe me when i tell you this, and wonder what you have done with your life, where did it go, just like a flash you are in your 50s or 60s- don’t still be miserable when you reach the age where I am now. Life can be really good and beautiful. I have been down the same streets.
Some women go only with married men
I am totally not surprised at what you said. I have an ex-coworker and she goes with a married man, does not care and would not have it otherwise. She cares nothing about marrying him so this is not uncommon for women not to care-and the other way as well. Unlike the other posts above, this man is saying he no longer loves her. I probably would think, other woman, in a case like this. If I knew no one around, I would probably want to be closer to my family. A cheating man never ever changes- they might lie low for awhile but yours has not changed and gosh darn, I would never want to be with someone who caught a disease- he might bring something home that a shot just doesn’t work for! There are really good guys out there that will love and treat a woman right, don’t have to settle for someone who professes not to love you. Why beat a dead horse and stay because of kids. Not this lady.
sad to say-women will never be able to run Africa.

Women will never run Africa (who is Oprah kidding?!) as long as Arab terrorists known as Janjaweed are still controlling at least 80% of Africa.........


Women running Africa - Don't I wish!!!  But it's more backwards there than here - and we know how most feel about having a woman run THIS country............. and for Africa it certainly isn't going to happen in our time or Oprah's time either........unfortunately.


Yup, there are skinny women
who have 2 teeth and a moustache who can't seem to climb up the evolutionary rung so I would say that statement was false. If I understood the odd statement...LOL
I don't know how women in the past did that - sm
I mean for me it hurt like the dickens (unfortunately did "it" twice that fateful evening) and I couldn't walk without incredible pain for days afterwards. Who would want to deal with that on their honeymoon? Certain would kill the urge.... Now maybe that is not the norm, but I swear childbirth was easier.
Women of Faith
Hi, Country MT - I love WOF.  Have been to 2.  Really can't pick a favorite; they are all great!  Sounds like you are a Christian also - oh, no - will I get in trouble for using that word?  By your name, I'm assuming you live in middle of nowhere; I do too.  Tiny, tiny town in IL, 400 people max.  I love this board.  Gives me an outlet when bored.  I really should be on working toward the bonus, but it is Saturday, will get to it sometime today. 
Bright women
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. 
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John . Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while theOB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar . Calm down and push. "Just one more good push" (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...


I think this pretty much covers the issue.

So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the "weaker sex?" Yeah right. Bite me.


Ever wonder why pregnant women don't

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Scientists think they have figured out why pregnant women don't lose their balance and topple over despite ever-growing weight up front.
 
Slight differences in the spine allow women to carry the growing load of pregnancy without toppling over.


Evolution provided slight differences from men in women's lower backs and hip joints, allowing them to adjust their center of gravity, new research shows.


This elegant engineering is seen only in female humans and our immediate ancestors who walked on two feet, but not in chimps and apes, according to a study published in Thursday's journal Nature.


"That's a big load that's pulling you forward," said Liza Shapiro, an anthropology professor at the University of Texas and the only one of the study's three authors who has actually been pregnant. "You experience discomfort. Maybe it would be a lot worse if (the design changes) were not there."


Harvard anthropology researcher Katherine Whitcomb found two physical differences in male and female backs that until now had gone unnoticed: One lower lumbar vertebra is wedged-shaped in women and more square in men; and a key hip joint is 14 percent larger in women than men when body size is taken into account.


The researchers did engineering tests that show how those slight changes allow women to carry the additional and growing load without toppling over -- and typically without disabling back pain.


"When you think about it, women make it look so very easy," Whitcomb said. "They are experiencing a pretty impressive challenge. Evolution has tinkered ... to the point where they can deal with the challenge.
"It's absolutely beautiful," she said. "A little bit of tinkering can have a profound effect."


Walking on two feet separates humans from most other animals. And while anthropologists still debate the evolutionary benefit of walking on two feet, there are notable costs, such as pain for pregnant females. Animals on all fours can better handle the extra belly weight.


The back changes appear to have evolved to overcome the cost of walking on two feet, said Harvard anthropology professor Daniel Lieberman.


When the researchers looked back at fossil records of human ancestors, including the oldest spines that go back 2 million years to our predecessor, Australopithecus, they found a male without the lower-back changes and a female with them.


But what about men with stomachs the size of babies or bigger? What keeps them from toppling over?


Their back muscles are used to compensate, but that probably means more back pain, theorized Shapiro, who added: "It would be a fun study to do to look at men with beer bellies to see if they shift their loads."


women beat themselves up - it NEVER - sm
has anything to do with you, male, female or animal.  It is his behavior.  You cannot change that.   You can get really miserable trying to - been there, done that.
But why women seeking men?
Okay, what am I missing. Wouldn't it be men seeking men or men seeking women? I'm not saying you shouldn't be concered, I'm just confused. If a man wants to be sought by a woman, I think a man looking for a man would have no luck with him, right?

Having said that (I'm single), I used to browse the Yahoo men seeking women ads just to see what the competition was (never entered my profile, though, -- I'm a happy 'aloner'). It was funny because I found one of my daughter's teachers there!!

At any rate, I wish you luck and happiness.


I presume he is looking at the ads that women - sm
are putting out looking for men.....and he wants to be the man they seek. Guess he is looking at their ads to see if he meets their specs, and if they sound interesting to him as well. That would be my take on it.
Because women smarter than that. 1 is enough to
dr
Some women are too smart
They're brainwashed, and may never wise up.  Nowhere in the Bible does it condone this type of lifestyle.  Some lecherous man declared himself a prophet and wrote his own book - and that's what they base their religion on, not the Bible.
What is your opinion on these women getting
dfs
Only Women Bleed
nm
I'm not judging you but with there being so many women who do (sm)
have terrible guilt and remorse after ABs it would seem that there should be more involved to get one, at least a visit with an unbiased psychiatrist who tells the full story of how one might feel later. I had someone say to me, "Now this is your decision right? Later on you don't get to blame anyone else, not your boyfriend, not your friends, no one else." I said I wouldn't and that was the extent of my counseling. This was in the mid-90s. I think you should have to go apply for one, be given a counseling session, wait a week or two, and see if that is still what you want to do. I think women should be given extensive information on all of their options and possible emotional repercussions so that at least when they make their own personal "choice" at least it is a well-informed choice. For me it is not so much guilt toward God as it is to the child I allowed to be killed. It is not a religious thing at all.