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OMG, we did that with our teen kids one year. Unavoidable. Miserable

Posted By: experience for all! ...NM on 2007-08-12
In Reply to: Yep, Disney World in August. Doesn't get better - than that. LOL!

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I'm not a teen, far from it but I get SVT a couple of times a year sm
I usually get it in the middle of the night and it usually lasts about 4 hours. I am prescribed 40 mg of verapamil, which I take 1 at the onset and then 1 every hour until it eases up. I usually end up taking about 4 or 5. That works for me, but then I'm usually wiped out for a few hours afterwards.

My first experience where this lasted more than a few minutes, I went to the ER and they gave me 6 mg of adenosine which converted me. They were able to see the SVT on my EKG, so the cardiologist was able to correctly treat me. They have offered me other treatment options, such as electrophysiology ablation, but since I only get it a couple of times a year, I'm not at the point where I want it treated surgically.

Good luck.
not only other kids, but the 6-year-old, as well,
nm
This year both kids get nada

Kids are 30 and 14 (both live elsewhere).  I usually get them expensive presents for major holidays.  The eldest often whines that "nobody ever does that for her but me" - well, DUH, perhaps its because she refuses to reciprocate in any way!  Both kids ignored me last Christmas, and they ignored my birthday (2 weeks after).  I informed both of them that this year they get nada on either occasion, and its not about the money, its about making the SLIGHTEST attempt to make MY day special TOO, as I actually have feelings (who'd a thunk it?).  IF they can bear to pick up the phone and merely call me on either occasion this year, or throw a cheap card in the mail, I will resume giving them gifts, if not, I'm through! 


Absolutely love Christmas. Start shopping every year by end of August for kids. sm
Start getting lists from rest of family by end of Sept. into Oct and usually have everything done, bought, and wrapped by Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!! By doing that I can sit back and just enjoy the beauty of the season.
Well, no wonder you are miserable

if he is absent physically and emotionally.  He is supposed to be your companion. Ask him if he is having an affair.  Tell him you are unhappy because you are lonely.  Talk!


actually I am not miserable, just sm
uncomfortable. Today it hasn't been so bad because some of the constipation "left." I think that has a big bearing on all of this. Guess I need to keep up with that problems. Constipation also doesn't help my pancreas either. Its like everything gets pushedu p into the diaphragm! YUK!
I'm only miserable as far as he is concerned....sm

because he is drunk 99% of the time I get to see him. It's a Merry go round we can't seem to get off. Every day ends for me with a drunk SOB picking a fight and every morning starts for him with me being PO'd at him for whatever he did the night before. The rest of my life is actually great. I have great kids, a career I love, lots of family. There's potential for wonderful life for me and the kids if I could just remove the daily alcoholic part.


Trust me, I've supported DH for 15 years. Took him to marriage counselors, begged, pleaded, tried to be understanding. This last year we risked our financial well-being to support his dream. His end of the deal was he'd have something to work for and wouldn't drink anymore. He's still drinking, and we're still waiting to see the outcome of his dream. Luckily, he and his partner just refinanced under the new corporation and we are able to pay back all the personal funds he borrowed. I've tried it all. Give him some time to go out with the guys, do activities he wants, take the vacations he wants. Doesn't matter how much I support him. DH is a taker, and he will continue to take until I literally have no more to give financially, emotionally, or physically.


It's high time I lead by example and teach my pre-teen daughters that women deserve respect, honesty, common courtesy, and contributions from their partner that contribute to their well being and well being of their family. My biggest fear is my daughter's are just going to repeat the cycle because it is all they have ever known. I am totally at peace with the fact that I have done all I can to support my husband and help him overcome his addiction. Bottom line, can't help those that don't want to help themselves, and I will not sacrifice my children to keep trying.


Where do you get unhappy or miserable out of that
After a while, most of the physical attraction wears off. And usually unless it is a volatile type of relationship with a lot of bad fighting and make up sex i.e., so does the passion. Sad but true. You can love your husband very much but just not have the attraction or passion that was once there. It doesn't mean you are unhappy, just normal.
you certainly have a miserable heart
So, everyone else is supposed to give your candidate a break, but you feel free to come on here and bash a woman, Hillary, who chose to stay with her husband even after he told a great big lie. As far as the philandering, give me a break - if every woman left her husband for that, there might be 12 marriages left intact.

I don't like Obama - he swaggers, he obviously thinks he is the Second Coming by his body language and his speech patterns. He has very little experience in anything of importance, whereas Hillary was doing voluteer work in grade school and never stopped. She worked without charge to help defend blacks unfairly charged with crimes when she was still in law school. She was with Marian Edelman (think that's the name) who started the Children's Defense Fund at the beginning, has never made money at that time and donated all her time, legal talent and paid her own airfares, hotels and meals to go to the D.C. for the board meetings when she was First Lady of Arkansas.

Obama on the other hand has had his fair share of shady dealings with property in Chicago. I'm from Illinois and I can tell you that no one gets anywhere in Chicago politics without getting dirty. Obama voted present 114 times in the Illinois legislature - ridiculous. The man has no backbone and no conscience.

You call Hillary power hungry - she has earned the right to be the presidential candidate. She didn't ask for it just because of her physical characteristics.

If Obama is elected, it will be a very, very tragic day for this country.
Wow, you're a really miserable person, aren't you?
x
Well thanks for visiting the miserable people and giving us your 2 cents nm
x
Teen Sex

I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:


Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders


Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.


Lilly


TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.

Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes

For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here.  My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive.  Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you.  Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality.  Kids that age love those kind of T shirts. 


Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.

teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver

I made my son pay his own tickets as well.  He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned.  He's 21 now.


Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.

teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM

OK, please help if you can.  My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions.  His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes).  They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him.  I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey!  That's not half bad!"  He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer.  He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials.  He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.


What is "cool" for boys?  Where should we shop?  What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy?  I'm so clueless!


Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!


 Chickadee


I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.

I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.


I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.


JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama

I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance.  The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time. 


So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.


Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school.  Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!


Teen Heart Throbs

Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?


Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.


Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut.  Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc.  Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!!  JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.

Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Well, I was not on a teen-role model, not in the public eye
no one was looking to me and I got myself into trouble and had more sense than to know I wanted to nor could I raise a child at my age(by the way, not 16, older). I assumed responsibility because I took care of things, did not regret then nor now and never have. She, from what I hear, did not tell her mother until well past the time she could have gotten an abortion, sounds like she wanted to be pregnant. I have absolutely no regrets about things I have done in the past.
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
Next door neighbor's teen having parties
I am sooo sick of the next door neighbors.  It is a mom and 2 teenage daughters.  They have been having a party going on 5 days now.  Tons of cars over partially blocking our driveway, loud talking and laughter, underage drinking, throwing their litter (beer cans) onto our side of the yard...etc.  I just want to sit out on my porch and not have a gang of teens a few feet away.  What kind of mom lets this kind of thing go on and these kids (boys and girls) have spent the night every night.  I am sick of it.  I thought it would end with today being Monday and the holiday weekend being over.  But they continue to hang out over there.  I just want peace and quiet like it is usually here.  What would you guys do?  I would love to call the cops on them but have never done anything like that before.  I just feel like this is ridiculous especially since we live in apartment homes and not houses so our duplexes are very close together. 
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
I'd give the teen whatever you spend on shirts for the younger one &
s
Aqua-Teen Hunger Force's Ignot and Err.
I could never explain the cartoon...it's something you have to see to believe and have an incredibly warped sense of humor to enjoy. 
Then I probably wouldn’t post about teen having okayed premarital sex
on this post. Everything is game when you post as far as I am concerned. Keep it to yourself if you don’t want others to comment. sex at 16 is statuatory rape in my state and if it had knowingly happened with my child, I would not buy them BCPs, rather had taken a legal course. I really can say what I think, thank you.
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live?  Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him?  I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
My teen daughter has this, too. We're trying the dermatologist next. OTC stuff isn't cutting i
v
Teen girls accused of setting kitten on fire (sm)

This article made my stomach roll.  Maximum penalty (yeah, right) is 3 years in solitary confinement.  Personally, I think they should be publically whipped until they scream and then whipped until they stop screaming...but that's just me.


"A boy and his friend said they saw the smoke and heard the cat shrieking while the girls laughed."


http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/13708685/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news


(cut and paste into your browser to read article)


My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
Hubs did window cleaning as a teen & always got swamped w/folks wanting them
s
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem.  Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old

DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.


The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors. 


Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.


The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.


Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.


A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.