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Ok, have a fatcat here, suggestions?

Posted By: Animal person here on 2008-01-18
In Reply to:

I have couple of furries, brothers, but 1 is about 25 lbs now. Trying to watch MandJshow this morning as supposedly going to have information on how to deal with these fat furries. The only thing I could glean from the show was to feed wet food instead of more calorie laden dry but what after that? A treadmill? How to get some of this weight off this furry fat challenged kid?


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My daughter had a better suggestion. She said rent the movie Honey and there is another couple where the ballet dancers learn hip hop ( Sorry I can't remember the names) but my daughter said if she really wants to make the team she needs to be modern and hip hop is all the rage.

Good luck email if I can help at all.
Any suggestions for ....sm
an ingrown toenail? I think my 15-year-old son has one.  I remember my grandmother saying to cut a V in the center of the top of the nail so that it would more or less have room to grow back out, but he keeps his nails so short, I can't do that at this point.  I also remember having one when I was pregnant and going to the doctor and he didn't do anything for it.
Thanks again for all the suggestions
Again, thanks so much for all the suggestions, now at least have some idea of what to do.
need suggestions

In the past 6 months, my sister-in-law's dog has killed TWO of our cats. 


She never married, doesn't have kids.  Her dogs ARE her children and she brings them everywhere.  They are not small dogs either.  One is a chow and the other is a mutt. 


She brings her dogs up to the in-laws every morning so my MIL can "babysit" while she goes to work.  Her dogs run around, come into our yard, stalk our cats, and attack.   Our dogs, if they are outside, will protect the cats but they aren't always outside.


She has been told that her dog has killed two of our cats and her only response is,  OMG!  I'm so sorry.   That's it.  Nothing else. 


I love her to death but she is totally irresponsible when it comes to her dogs and even more lacking in compassion when told that her dogs killed two of her nieces cats.  What the?


How would you handle this?   I don't want to cause any kind of friction because we all live so close and it is my husband's only sister.


Just really tired of losing our kitties.


Thank you for the suggestions

If this rash ever recurs (God forbid) we will have to do some allergy testing. At the moment, I think there is a strong possibility that it is related to the trees we bought (see post below). Both of them were dripping from the holes in the bottom of the pot and I think there must have been some kind of fertilizer or something which got on his skin. Or possibly there was some kind of insect on the trees which got on him, because he has had new bumps appearing up to about three or four days ago. But he has several large areas on his chest which are just solid rash (he didn't even let me see that until last night because he knew I would freak out).


Tide detergent is a thought, too - he had been complaining of itching around his waist so he started washing all his underwear and T-shirts (undershirts) in Woolite. I use Tide Free but maybe I should change to something gentler.


Thanks again!    We will definitely try your home allergy test if this doesn't clear up or if it recurs.


Suggestions for ham
I have a spiral sliced ham to bake and in the past, they always ended up kind of dry.  Can someone tell me how to bake it and keep it moist, someone suggested pouring ginger ale on it while baking but looking for more suggestions.  Thanks in advance.
suggestions
I love the name Kierna.
Thank you for the suggestions. I think
I will try the vinegar and water and maybe a bit of baking soda and keep my fingers crossed. I have tried Febreez in the beginning but urine too strong and it didnt help at all even after enzyme cleaner. Thank you for all the suggestions. I do appreciate it sooooo much.
Thanks much for your suggestions. Appreciate it!
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Thank you so much fo the suggestions sm
I am pretty sure that they were both definitely females. Males are darker in color and also have or will eventually have orange cheeks and after 3 years mine never did. There was no trauma to the bird. I had fed them (from the same bag of food for a week)just about 30 to 45 minutes earlier. They were doing fine. The other is still thriving today and is still eating the food. I have washed the cage already and cleaned everything. Poor Roxy, she has really put up with a lot in the last 18 hours. My hubby and son are going out to Harrisonburg this weekend and is going to check on another bird for me. I do like the idea of a mirror and can pick one up tonight. Again, thanks for the suggestions. Roxy and I both appreciate them.
I appreciate all your suggestions
Found out today my children's half-brother's b-day party is also on Saturday and so she will be going to that instead. She called her friend and told her she was sorry she won't be there because of her brother's b-day party. We are making plans to take her out for dinner (her choice) next Friday.

I do realize what some of you were saying regarding the different ways to get head lice and in all reality she could bring it to our home too. My daughter has very thick hair and had head lice a couple of years ago and it was a total nightmare!! I just attempt to prevent that happening again. I do feel for this girl. I really do. She is so sweet and has been such a good friend to my daughter and my daughter thinks a lot of her.

If she is invited to her house again, I do think I will take the opportunity to go visit with her mother. Maybe there is something I can do to help her. In all reality though, how do you hint around to someone about their poor hygiene and dirty house without being offensive? I'll be praying about this.

Thank you all for your suggestions! I very much appreciate it.
Thanks to everyone for their suggestions

I used to use Crest - I don't know why I switched.


And I tried Tom's years and years ago. I liked it but my husband didn't. We each have our own toothpaste now, so I might give it a try again.


Thanks!


suggestions
Honestly, this is a man thing how they go off into dream land. You either have to deal with it or move on who does it less. I think most woman can agree men go off to dream land unless it is something they are interested in.
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. SM
Acutally, I have known this person since I am two years old because out mothers worked together. She is a dear person, but I really don't see her much anymore, partly because of the smoking issue. She is totally addicted to tobacco, and her husband addicted to tobacco and alcohol. I don't like going to their house much because of it, and I told her so a few years ago. I go over rarely, stay for maybe 45 minutes and then go. She tries to be good about it, not smoking on most visits. However, I am so sensitive to the smoke and the house is so saturated with it that my eyes burn and my clothes and hair smell of it anyway. As in my previous note, her entire family has addiction problems with tobacco and alcohol. Her mother, rest her soul (one of the sweetest people on earth) used to smoke so heavily that I watched her putting one out and reaching for another at the same time. 

Anyway, I'm taking the long road again. . . gotta get to the point. The party is at a fire hall and I am thinking if there was a no smoking rule this family would never have taken the place to begin with. Everyone but two people that I know of in that family smokes heavily. Her sister and husband do not, but all her nieces, nephews, siblings, their kids, etc. do. I don't want to sound high and mighty, but I resent being exposed to something that is so harmful and something I am so totally against.  This is a tough one. I think all the suggestions were good. I have until Saturday to follow through. Thanks, everyone!   
Thank you all for your suggestions (sm)
I have looked these up and sent the info to them. Thank you!!
thanks for all the suggestions!

I have some good lunches coming up!


some suggestions
First, as I am sure you already have, try to find out why the sudden change in behavior. Is something/someone at school bothering her? How are her grades? Is she falling behind the other kids, can't see the board well, can't hear well, etc.? Are there any major changes at home?

My daughter is also in 3rd grade this year. Last December we moved in with my in-laws. We are in our 30s, they are in their 80s (my husband was a HUGE surprise when he was born!!) Their health was not the best, and they just needed a little extra help.

The kids were great for about 2 months, they my daughter, who has always been very well behaved, turned into a little monster. She started to be very demanding, lazy, defiant, you name it and she did it! Everything we tried would work for a few days, but then the behvaior would start again and we would have to try a different tactic.

We finally decided we had to do something drastic. We sat her down and told her how much we loved her, but that her behavior was not acceptable. We told her that if she was openly defiant, rebellious, talked back, etc. again, we would have no choice but to take EVERYTHING out of her room except her furniture. She was shocked and of course cried and said she would be good.

That lasted about 2 days! She had a problem being disrespectful while getting ready for school in the morning, and when she came home from school, EVERYTHING was out of her room. (I didn't say anything to her about this before she left for school because I didn't want her to not focus at school becuase she was upset about this). We took the pictures off the walls, stuffed animals off of the shelves, took the bookselves and books out, toys out, everything out of her closet except for her clothes, etc.

Of course, she freaked out! She spent the next hour on her floor crying and telling us how she would be good, she promised. We explained to her in between sobs and screams that we had warned her, and she chose to do that behavior again, so she had in fact CHOSEN HER OWN PUNISHMENT! (I really think that she didn't believe that we would follow through on this!)

We told her that she would earn one item a day back for good behavior. If she was exceptionally good and helpful and showed us that she was trying, we might let her choose more than one thing.

It was like night and day. Almost immediately she focused on how to earn her "things" back. She still had bad days, but nothing like before. She is much more respectful and obedient now. I really think she was just pushing as hard as she could to see what she could get away with, but she really needed to know that we weren't going to let her push that hard. Does that make sense to anyone else?

I know how frustrating this can be. We shed many tears and prayed many prayers over this. I know what we did seems a little extreme, but it worked for us. I hope you find something that works for you :)
I need suggestions too
I am also open to some suggestions.  My situation is a little different.  I have only been married since April and my husband has a child from a previous relationship.  He is 5 years old and I don't know how to handle him.  My husband never disciplines him.  He backtalks me, disrespects me, doesn't listen to anything I say and I am getting so tired of it.  He's also not doing that well in school either.  He's in kindergarten and the teachers are threatening to hold him back.  I give up on trying to make him practice his numbers and things at home because he doesn't cooperate with me anyway.  Whenever I complain about him not picking up his toys (he destroys my living room) or how he doesn't listen and disrepects me, my husband will tell me to calm down and doesn't do anything about it.  Like tonite, my stepson wipes his nose and just throws the toilet paper all over the bathroom and hall floor like he was raised in a barn.  So I tell him to pick it up, which of course he doesn't do.  So I get mad about it and my husband gets snappy at me and tells me to calm down.  Ugh!  It makes me so mad at both of them.  I just get tired of my husband always taking his son's side and defending him and doesn't think he should ever discipline him.  It's like my husband expects me to just stand there and let a 5-year-old treat me like a piece of dirt and I shouldn't get mad about it.  I feel like I can't discipline him because my husband will get mad at me.  I can't really talk to my husband about it because about 2 to 3 weeks ago, he found out some things I had vented about with an online friend concerning this situation and he got raging mad at me and was at the point of leaving me over it (which I think was ridiculous).  I am just at my wit's end and do not know what to do.  If anyone could give me suggestions I would appreciate it.  I just want to hear what you all think.  My husband makes me feel like I am the wicked step-mother or something.
Thanks for the suggestions. (nm)
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My suggestions...

It sounds like he wants more attention.  I am not accusing you of not giving him enough attention - it just that kids normally think the world revolves around them, so it is normal for them to want tons of attention imo. Kids (and adults) just want to be heard.  Ask him what he really wants from you when he acts this way.  I find it helps to repeat back to them what they want.  If they are screaming that they want a cookie, mimick loudly back "You want a cookie.  You want a cookie right?"  Then they know you get what they are trying to say.   Three years old seems a little young to be home schooling.  Most daycare programs don't start teaching a curriculum until age 4.  I'm sure he can learn an enormous amount at this age, but it may have to be in short "bursts" of learning rather than a structured program at this point.


As far as disciplining goes, my boys are now 5 and 6, but when they were 2 and 3 it was so hard to discipline them because they forget what they did wrong in a matter of seconds!  Once they hit age 4 or 5 they understand consequences a bit better and tend to listen more, so hopefully this is just a stage he is going through and your life will get better soon (I know mine's less stressful now!)


I think it's great you are trying to home school them for their well being, but you cannot sacrifice your own happiness to try and make your kids happy.  What your kids want is for YOU to be happy.  They learn by what they see you doing.  I'm 26, and I still want my parents to be happy!  I worry about them all the time.  Maybe you could put him in a program 1 or 2 days a week for just a few hours (after doing lots of research to make sure it is a good, safe program) just to give yourself a break.  Plus, he would probably enjoy it.  My kids get so bored being cooped up with me that they actually beg to go into boring places like the post office sometimes! 


Good luck with all your stress.  Maybe he could be redirected to other projects - playdoh, coloring, leggos, V-Smile video games (they teach shapes, colors, letters, etc.).  You could also give him tasks to "help" you around the house.  For some reason my boys love it when I have them help me with chores.  I guess it makes them feel important.  When your husband gets home tonight go take a verrrry long, hot bath with a fun novel!


suggestions? sm

The others gave excellent advice and suggestions. I found with my sister's lung ca. she loved exercise work-out clothing in a size much larger than her own, which she slept in and then went to chemo in or vice-versa if need be, the extra size was comfy and allowed for the weight gain that sometimes comes on with treatment. You just have to be careful with zippers if you are having any sort of radiation. She also felt a little more "dressed" if someone were coming over.She found Ambien a great help for sleep and sometimes would break one in 1/2 and, of course, you would have to check with the doc as to what other meds would interfere with this. Sometimes this was more of a relief at night than the pain pills. You should not mix both, of course. She preferred Maalox for her stomach upsets. If you Google Dana Farber they have some items on their web site for cancer patients that might give you some ideas. She had a cute turban with just a bang of hair coming from it that she wore to chemo. She also attended the "look good, feel better" classes offered at the hospital. The softer the clothing, the better for you, of course. Pain meds are very constipating and a stool softener sure does help and at times a glycerin suppository will encourage things along. The others are more familiar with the drains, etc.,that you will have to deal with. You should listen to them as they have walked your walk. Treat yourself to a manicure before your sugery, and pedi if you can afford it;  although you probably cannot wear polish, at least you will feel better about your nails.


Most of all, I am sure everyone who reads your post is praying that you will have a speedy recovery and wish you all the best. With today's technology, you will be okay, we are all wishing you the best. Anyone please correct me if I'm wrong with any of the above posting. I don't want to give wrong advice. A friend of mine had a mastectomy and her doctor was very adamant about her not using anything on her skin or anyplace else without her okay first, so follow what your physician tells you, especially if it involves skin care or meds.


 


 


My suggestions sm
Volunteer at hospital, food bank or American Cancer Discovery Shoppe (gently used clothing/furniture/miscellaneous items for sale), literacy program at library, sheriff's office also has volunteer positions. I fully intend to go back to volunteering once my work allows me. I was actually pulling two 4-hour shifts at our local hospital before my daughter at her older daughter - I got so much out of it!
Suggestions

I'm looking for some suggestions.  I have been battling with psoriasis since I was around 12 or 13 years old (that's over 30 years now).  Luckily it is only one patch behind my earlobe where the earlobe connects to my head (that sounds weird but think you know where I'm talking about).  Anyway.  I have also been going to the doctor for over 30 years for this (moved around a lot so been to a lot of doctors).  They always prescribe a cream for me but never with any refills.  All creams have worked in the past (some better than others).  What gets me is when I tell a doc a cream works really well and they tell me they want me to try something else. 


Here's what I'm looking at now.  I'm at the end of my cream (which was prescribed to me four years ago when I lived in another state). The cream is called Elocon 0.1%.  I really don't want to go to the doctor for this but I have tried everything I can think of on the market (all 1% hydrocortisone).  Nothing works.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Maybe something natural.  Heck at this point I'd go for something supernatural.  HA HA.  Or am I going to have to bite the bullet and find a dermatologist locally.  I looked up how to treat it naturally and all it said was eat more fruits and veggies.  Ah, yeah, right! 


Thanks.


Suggestions:
Everyone may jump in here on me, but this is what I did. I have three children, all grown now. They got to learn to drive and drive our cars under supervision for a long time. No supervision, no driving. After while, they got to drive our vehicles alone, no riders. When they had enough money to buy a car, pay for insurance and gas then the bought one. The end. Now that almost all of them are parents with one of them coming to this fork in the road about driving, they all agree that we were fair, they were safe, and learned that when you want something it is better to pay for it with your own money, preferably cash. They all told me they would do the same with their children. When they lived here and drove our vehicles we paid for the gas and insurance because they were our dependents. They learned that if they had their own cars they would lose a valuable perk of living here. I think that sometimes teenagers have too much freedom and too many ways to get into trouble. Vehicles driven by teen "owners" just multiply that risk. I have to say that it would have been easier for us to give them a car or given them more "freedom" with ours because I hate to run errands and drive places and it really took a lot for us to keep up with all of them and their "driving needs." Like who would drive when and whose turn it was next, but it worked.

Besides, on another note, I live in your state and have driven in Vegas frequently. Wow, what a place to place a new driver! It is so bad on your ramps there at rush hour that if there was a way for me to drive with my eyes closed I would!

Good luck and whatever you choose just keep up with them and if you can get them driving lessons from a pro. When I was young everyone in my state had that for free at school and it was worth the taxpayers' money to give that to us. Times have changed and now, according to my kids, all you have to do is start the car, belt up, drive around the block and not hit anything and you are presto, a licensed driver! That is pretty scary.
Suggestions
I would like to know if anyone has suggestions for this.  It's a touchy subject with my sister so I never bring it up, it's regarding my nephews weight and suggestions to help him lose.  I'm not a skinny minny (weight 190 pounds myself so its not like I'm a skinny person offering a "just go on a diet" suggestion - sis herself weighs about 230 pounds).  Problem with nephew is he is mentally retarded (special, slow or whatever you want to call it).  He turned 20 years old this past November but he still plays with Power Rangers, watches cartoons, and has the mind of a 12 year old in some ways.  He does not have the capacity to think like a regular 20-year-old.  So...he is overweight....way way overweight.  I don't live back there but sis says he weighs 340 pounds and he eats like a pig.  She can control his eating pattern while he is at home but the problem is he eats like no tomorrow at work.  He also has his bike and will ride down to McDonalds.  She's had people she knows watch him and when he's caught he tells these people to mind their own business.  Sis and her DH have talked and talked to him, but nothing sinks in.  He tells them he is not fat.  She got so mad one time because he refused to listen that she told him he was the size of a pregnant woman.  .  He became very irate and was screaming and yelling he was not.  Then proceeded to bang his head into the wall in one of his "fits".  He has these a lot when he's caught doing something wrong or is upset about a problem.  He does not know  how to handle emotion so he balls his fists up and punches himself over and over in the head or bangs his head against the wall.  She took him to his pediatrician and the pediatrician told her there is nothing wrong.  She was livid.  I told her to take him to a regular doc and she said he can still see the pediatrician up until 21.  I didn't say anything because she gets very defensive but I almost said he may be a child in the mind, but he has the body of an adult now.  They adopted him from south america, so not sure what health problems or body habitus people from that country have (some countries have naturally large people - like Samoans and other cultures).  He also has what could be the onset of early diabetes, although the doc never came out for sure and told her he has it.  I told her that the only thing I am worried about is that if he doesn't get his weight down or if his diabetes gets out of control he the worst scenario would be that he could have problems and end up losing toes, foot, hand, or whatever.  She said to me, oh sure, that's all we need is to give him nightmares.  I told her not to tell him because he can't handle it, but if she doesn't do something she needs to know this is the worse that could happen.  She said she was thinking about taking him to weight watchers and I told her I doubt very much he would listen to the speakers there.  I've seen these commercials for weight loss pills, but of course am very skeptical about weight loss products advertised on TV.  Does anyone have any suggestions.  The only thing I can think of is getting him to both a regular doc or nutritionist and also a psychiatrist to help deal with his "I'm not fat" attitude (I certainly can offer no intelligent suggestions to her as I have no idea how to deal with her situation).  However, she can't afford either doc or psychiatrist so wanted to come up with some suggestions to offer her. 
Suggestions

Hey Kaydie, I used to work with special needs kids and had one with a similar weight problem though not nearly as severe.  What your sister needs to understand, and if she gets defensive tough give her some tough love, is that if your nephew develops diabetes and then goes off on his bike and eats whatever the heck he wants, he can do more than lose a toe, he can die.  A guy I was friends with in middle school, died after we graduated from a hyper/hypoglycemic episode when we were like 20.  He was short and skinny! 


As far as suggestions, the pediatrician needs to update his malpractice insurance because there sure as heck is something wrong.  As far as South America sizes, we'd have to know what country but think Brazilian bikinis and you can see that South Americans in general are not predominantly large people.  Now, as far as his job is concerned, if this is under adult programming, tell them he is under dietary restrictions and can only eat vegetables or what have you.  I assume he has some sort of superivision at work regardless because of his disability.  Do not let him carry around pocket money if he is going to insist on using it for food. 


Get him involved in something that equals exercise like Special Olympics or something.  Riding his bike is great but not if he's going to McDonald's and back.  Give him errands to run like going to a post office or the library, things that don't require him to carry money.  Get him a paper route that he can ride his bike for.  Have your sister turn it around on her and say that her doctor told her that if she doesn't lose weight she could get really sick and she needs everybody's help so no junk food in the house and healthy food.  Get him to help develop healthy meals for mom and help shop for them.  Get that cookbook that shows how to sneak healthy foods into meals for kids.


Above all make sure your sister understands that you love her and your nephew and want them both around and healthy for a long, long time.  Heck tell her a friend of mine who is 6 feet 2 and weighed 225 at one point started having knee problems at 26?  He has lost 40 pounds and guess what?  His knees don't hurt him anymore.  It makes a huge difference.  I don't know how tall your sister is but 230 pounds is not a healthy weight for most women adn 340 pounds is not a healthy weight for anyone.  Good luck to you!


Some suggestions...sm

I would enroll her in a good basic puppy obedience class.  She sounds like a typical fun-loving, high-energy pup, but you're right, you want to get a handle on this before she gets any bigger/wilder (though at 6 months, I'd guess she's close to full size, just with some filling out to do).  Plus, she will soon be entering into what I've come to think of as the teenage/juvenile delinquent phase of her life.  LOL


She just needs to learn some 'manners,' so to speak, and you/your family need to learn how to communicate w/her in a way she can understand, which a good trainer can help you with.  Learning the basics (sit, stay, down, come, heel) will come in very, very handy - esp. 'sit.'  I mean, think about it, she can't very well 'sit' and jump up on someone at the same time, right?  Teaching basic obedience to your dog is sort of like teaching manners to your kids, can you imagine how insufferable they'd be w/o any manners? 


Ask your vet if there are any training classes locally that he/she recommends.  You can also try the Assoc. of American Pet Dog Trainers:  http://www.apdt.com/  Find someone who uses fun, positive, dog-friendly methods, and avoid anyone who wants to use force, yelling, hitting, pushing the dog into a sit, drilling the same command over and over, etc.  Do some research before deciding on a trainer, because anyone can hang out a sign and call themselves a dog trainer - doesn't mean they know what they're doing!  Training s/b a fun, bonding exp. for you and your dog.  In fact, you might want to look into something called 'clicker training' because it's really fun, and even kids can do it.  If you can't find a good, affordable class, there are some good dog training videos/DVDs, but I think a class is better. 


And personally, I would not play tug-o-war with her, at least for now.  For some reason, that game seems to get dogs pretty wound up and 'hyper,' and is sort of an aggressive way of playing for them.  *Maybe* later, if she learns to release the toy on command when you say 'give' or 'release' or something like that, you can play tug-o-war w/her, but I'd focus on the basic obedience stuff first. 


We train our dogs from the start that they are never allowed to put their teeth on us, ever, but some people allow the dog to do it if they do it gently, in play.  I just find it easier to not let them put their teeth on us at all, but that's up to you.  We also teach our dogs that they are not allowed to jump up on anyone unless the person gets down on the floor and calls them up (by patting the chest).  They don't often try to jump up on us, but if we have company they get very excited, so we might sometimes need to put a leash on them for control until they settle down. 


Please don't think I have perfect, 'robot' dogs BTW - far from it!  I often 'cheat' and take the easy way out by using distraction.  For instance, there is a dog toy called  'Kong.'  You can fill it with peanut butter and kibble, freeze some beef broth and kibble it it, all kinds of things, and give it to the dog to keep them busy.  I love it!  If you go to their website, they have recipes. 


My other big suggestion is:  Exercise, exercise, and more exercise.  Dog people have a saying:  'A tired dog is a good dog.'  I can tell you from personal experience that this is soooo true.  My dogs can be so obnoxious when they haven't gotten enough exercise.  A dog that gets plenty of exercise, both physical exercise and mental exercise (in the form of training where the dog is having to concentrate which wears them out mentally just like it does us) is a good dog, because it's a dog that doesn't have a lot of excess, pent-up energy to get into mischief.  Some ideas: 


1.  Treadmill (supervised, of course). 


2.  Walks on a leash with the dog having to heel and wearing a backpack that has something it for a little weight to wear him out a little. 


3.  Running, playing, wrestling with another dog of similar size and energy level (with a friend's dog or at the dog park maybe?)


4.  My absolute, all-time personal favorite (because I'm lazy and not nearly as athletic/energetic as my dogs are, so it's the easiest thing for *me* LOL):  Riding around the neighborhood on my mountain bike with my dog running/pulling alongside, attached with something called a Springer, which you can find here:  http://www.springerusa.com/  (I use a better harness than the one that comes with it.)  This is a great way to exercise your dog, IMO.  Be careful, wear a helmet, let the dog set the pace. 


You have a high-energy breed, so... enjoy! 


Thanks for the suggestions, all!
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Any suggestions are welcome

I find I am going into a depression each day as time goes on.  The root cause is home sickness.  I live far away from my family where the only way to see them is to fly.  This happens maybe once every 3 or 4 years (which is how often I go back).  My DH doesn't mind me going back at all and has been excited for me when I do go back because he knows how much I enjoy myself even just sitting around watching movies and visiting with family, and he's a loner kind of person, so am sure he enjoys the quiet time (we have no kids).  However, with that said DH listens to a lot of talk shows, news stations, etc.  Almost 2 or 3 times a week he'll tell me how bad the airports are getting, all these people are saying how unsafe it is to fly, this could go wrong or that could go wrong, then whenever you hear of an air disaster (i.e. the plane where those seats came unattached or they found screws missing in part of the planes, or maintenance checks not being completed properly) it intensifies his confirmation of why "anyone is nuts to want to get on a plane now adays".  I haven't mentioned to him yet that I want to go back to see my family (dad is in his 70s now, sis is desparate to see me and I haven't seen my new niece yet), not to mention I'm homesick to see the area I grew up and love.  He just came out again to tell me he's listening to someone talk about how there's no way in he!! they would ever fly, your just asking for it, etc, etc. (I'm sure those people are rich and can don't have a job and can drive from Canada to Mexico whenever they want to)  My heart just sinks everytime he says that.  Once I told him that they have to make flying safe because the whole country is filled with people who have to fly for business or personal reasons.  I want to go back to see my family so badly my heart just aches, so was thinking maybe between Thanksgiving and Christmas time frame (we don't celebrate holidays here so no big deal) that way it would give things time to settle, but I just haven't said anything to him about wanting to go back.  Also, with the crisis and election coming up there is a lot of uncertainty too, and I can't throw too much at him (he can't handle it). - Believe me in this household the impending gloom and doom are an every day part of our lives and our talks what we'd do if certain things were to happen.


What would you do?  Do you think I should just hang in there and wait to see what happens over the next few weeks or so?  P.S. - we do not have a marriage where I just demand or tell him the way its going to be.  Of course I may just be thinking too much of this, but at this point not sure and I get more and more depressed the more I think about it.  So looking for some opinions/suggestions on how you would handle this situation.


Thanks for your suggestions....I do need to get some (sm)
good info and some exercise. Also I know you are right that getting up and getting a shower first thing would help me tremendously. I always fit my shower in sometime during the day but when I worked outside my home and took one first thing it always made me feel better.
Need suggestions!!!
I joined a local volleyball league and our team is trying to think of a name for the team.  Anyone have a clever or cute name for a co-ed volleyball team?
Thanks for the suggestions.
Where the step is concerned it won't help. The situation is what it is and I knew it when we married. It's just frustrating at times but I know it is only temporary. I would hate to be the hateful ex who treats someone this way. It must be a terrible life to live constantly dreaming of ways to hurt your ex and his family instead of enjoying your own family and knowing that your child is well taken care of.

As for the family stuff. I have tried to talk to the leaders of the family and they looked at me like I was a complete loon. That's fine. They can do what they want. He can do what he wants, but our budget is what it is and that will mean less for his child. Next year I WILL have a xmas fund set up so that I can provide for our kids and we don't end up in this holiday mess again. If nothing else $20 a month is more than what we have now and I'm sure I can scrape that together if I really try.

Thanks for your help. :) I wish I could be oblivious like your husband!
Some suggestions
Not knowing budget considerations:

1. I'd think about adding something to his landscape....a fast growing tree perhaps or butterfly bush.
2. Bonsai tree. This is a hobby unto itself.
3. Indoor garden for winter.
4. Cactus garden and book.
5. Bird Feeders and seed.
6. Build-a-bird house project. Check out this site: http://www.50birds.com/D50BH.htm
7. Birding books.
8. Bird Bath.
9. Binoculars.
10. Telescope.
11. Waterfall.
12. Pond.
13. Aquarium
14. A pooch.
15. Puzzle and word books.
16. Magazine supscription.

Thanks for the suggestions!

The rent-a-husband sounds good but I don't know if he has the heart to charge people for doing what he likes to do.


He's afraid of small children so that type of work is out.Can't get him to hold the grandkiddy's unless they're close to 1 yo.


He used to think he'd like to be a mystery shopper. We knew someone who did that years ago and he thought that was "up his line." He was an OTR trucker for 32+ years so he had a lot of experience eating and shopping out of the area. So far, this might be his best opportunity. Thanks for the memory jog.


I forgot to mention that he also is a good welder.He taught his son to weld and then the son went to welding school and has made good on jobs, plus the grandson is now wanting to get into welding. He does have the equipment, but around our area, no one really wants to pay decently for a good welding job either. I'm talking about a very depressed area since the 1970s so money is very tight.


He's sociable but, should I say shy? A greeter at Wal-Mart wouldn't be his thing and the closest airport is 50 miles away north,south, and east. Nothing in between.


He's a really tough guy to figure out a good line of work.  He doesn't like and/or won't learn computers. He's afraid of them. A friend showed him how to look up vehicle parts on my computer and he hasn't touched it since. He's not into technology. Just good old bull work.


Does anyone have suggestions
what to do about splits in the skin of fingers?  I have tried new skin, band-aids, nail polish and cream to name a few but nothing works.  I can hardly type it hurts so bad.  Suggestions would be appreciated so much!
Thank you all for your suggestions!!
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Thanks for the suggestions - sm
I have been to the Soapstone site before but had not looked for any highlighting supplies, will check then out. The art supply store suggestion is a great idea too. We got really lucky with this stove, so far everyone we know with wood stoves (3 of them so far) say we got a really good deal. It is a solid stove, not too big, will go perfect where we are putting it and look good to boot. Now we just have to rearrange the kitchen some. My DH was really nervous about buying it, was super cranky Friday night and Saturday morning, but once he saw it he fell in love with it, yippee. He'd seen the pictures but was just nervous about spending $375 on something we had not "seen" in person. We are looking forward to getting it hooked up over the summer, told him my deadline was September as I want to make sure we are all set when the time comes to use it in October/November.
Getting a new car - any suggestions?

I am going to be getting a new car in the next 2 weeks.  I am leaning toward a 2008 Chrysler Sebring convertible.  I have a 1999 now and I have really been happy with it, but need (want) to update.  Am going to be coming into some money and will be able to pay cash.  I do not really want to go over about $15,000.


Anybody got any different suggestions?  Or any advice on a Sebring Convertible (good or bad)...


Thanks so much for the suggestions! sm
Oh, we love hole in the wall places!  I am going to send these to hubby, so he can help decide.  He just started a new job with not much vacation built up, so we want our 2 lunches out to really be good ones.  We are probably going again in September, so maybe we will run into each other! 
THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTIONS!!! nm
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Song suggestions.
Having a party soon and need some song suggestions. The guest will be from 30 to 50 years old. Need some good dance music and slower songs to play during dinner.
GREAT SUGGESTIONS...I HAVE ONE!!
Hey...I am one of those small towners and know that I would let my kids eat homemade sugar cookies!! quick and easy recipe on www.livingonadime.com and takes about 10 minutes to bake!!
Financial help suggestions
Friends of ours just got notice from their landlord. Apparently they are about $1900 behind in their rent. I think they have been making partial payments for awhile, not just NOT paying the rent. Anyway, the landlord is now demanding payment in full by Dec. 30th or he will evict them. Apparently he is through "working with them". They have no one to borrow from. We can't help them either. They're credit isn't good enough that they can get a bank loan. I've suggested going to social services to see if they can qualify for some rental assistance but that's all I can think of so far.
Offer these suggestions -
Title loans if they own their cars, sell anything they can, pawn what they can. Some of this will only be a very short-term solution.
thanks for your answers/suggestions sm
i do know that twisting my hair flares it up, i've been twisting my hair for years!  hard habit to break.  i thought about having the Lasek surgery (after reading your post about eye surgery).  Anyone out there had it and work good for you?
Eczema suggestions
I would try the derm docs again. There are new preparations all the time. Elidel does come with lots of warnings, but they have to be so careful from a legal standpoint these days that the warnings, truthfully, are almost meaningless. It's an excellent med for eczema. And there are even newer ones than Elidel. Finally, try the homeopathic preparations (such as the Chinese juice and zinc suggestion) too. Young Living out of Utah makes several excellent oils for different problems, and have a juice that sounds much like the one you tried before. And most importantly, limit her shower and bathing time, use a non-soap cleanser such as Cetaphil (their moisturizer is also excellent) and decrease the temperature of the water. Good luck!
Suggestions on memorail for my mom sm
When my mother died she wanted to be cremated and sprinkled in the Atlantic Ocean.  When my younger brother (he is my step-mother's from her first marriage) got married the whole family went to the Florida Keys  (I live in Virginia) for the wedding.  The last day there we all (including my father and step-mother, they were an incredible support to me when my mother died so unexpectedly) went out on a walking bridge over the ocean, my son read a short passage from the bible, and then my husband scattered her ashes and all 4 grandchildren, myself, and my SIL all dropped in a rose.  The tide was going out and in just a few minutes you could see the roses floating in the distance and they seemed to be in a circle.  It was quite beautiful.  No my problem, I wish I had some place to go like a burial site to place flowers when I feel the need to be close to my mom.  I know she is always with me in my heart but I feel the need for something more.  We did plant a rose bush in our yard in her memory but I still feel like something is missing.  Am i being to morbid?  Feel free to tell me exactly what you think, even if you think I am crazy. Thanks. 
Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions. sm
They are making me cry but they are good tears. Note to Lilly- my mother's grandmoter was named Lilly and my mother was especially close to her. If I had another daughter that would be her name.
Meal suggestions
I love to cook, but there are times when cooking just does not fit into my schedule. On those occasions, I opt for the Lean Cuisine (LC) frozen meals #1, followed by the WW variety. I personally find LC to have tastier meals, but there are some good WW frozen meals. Also, there are options for eating out, you just have to be selective in restaurant choices. When joining WW you can get a restaurant guide which is great in helping you with those selections. This is another thing I enjoy about WW. First, and foremost, you are not restricted to having to buy a program's foodline which can be very expensive, such as Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, etc. You can eat the same foods the rest of your family eats. If hubby is the cook of the family, when he is around you could have him cook extras of WW sensible meals and put them away, either in the fridge for immediate use, or in the freezer for future use. I have done that in the past with preparing on the weekends and having leftovers ready for quickie meals during the week. Don't forget with summer upon us that the grill is a wonderful place to enjoy your food and still remain WW-friendly. I hope these suggestions will help.
Thanks for the suggestions! Am definitely open to others. nm
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All good suggestions...
My mom used to carry Yankee candles in her store and she closed them out because of the declining quality. The guy who started the company sold it a few years ago and in our opinion, it just hasn't been the same. Crooked wicks, weak scent, etc.

Now, one great company we've found is Southern Candle company; they use a soy blend that burns so clean, there's nothing left in the jar when you're done and they smell "loud and proud"! LOL. Not sure how available they are; one reason we carry them is because they're a small company.