See VERY long message
Posted By: AnnieM!AnnieM! on 2007-06-14
In Reply to: Questions to ask when buying a house - DH and I are fixing to look.
Is this the first house you are looking at? If so, absolutely do not buy this house without having many others to compare. This is a buyer's market - you have the advantage, bid low. Bid REALLY low. They can refuse the offer or they will counter offer. The longer the house sits this summer, the better your advantage. Find out how long it's been on the market versus how long others in the same area were. Compare sale prices of comparable homes in the neighborhood to this home.
From the area you describe, is this what you are willing to live amongst? If the chicken people have a rooster, you'll be listening to that all the time. If the area is "tired" looking, this will lower your property value, lower your property taxes, and lower your resale value. A home for sale can only bring in what the neighborhood is worth. Nothing is forever, and you will eventually be selling that house some day. You want to buy in an area where you will make money years down the road rather than lose on your investment.
An abandoned house with sheep in the yard? Say Joe Schmo somehow acquires the abandoned house, gives the sheep to a wool factory, tears down the house and puts up a car wash. That OK with you? Check out the zoning in the neighborhood. If there is an abandoned house with sheep, there are no restrictive covenants and DH should not have a problem with farm equipment, but go to town hall and find out. Do kids hang out in the abandoned house?
What the town has assessed the house for and what it sells for are two different entities. Again, it's worth what the neighborhood is worth, not what town hall determines it's worth - the town's assessed value is lower than the sale value 90% of the time.
Drive through the neighborhood on weekends, nights, all times of day. See what's going on in the neighborhood. Wild parties in the front yard? Kids all over the place? Quiet older neighbors? It's all what you are willing to live with.
By all means get PROOF of what utilities cost: electric, heat, water. Do not trust the real estate agent or owner to tell you. What you find out though is a variable. You may like the heat on 68 degrees in the winter, they may put it on 60. You could consider using a buyer's agent if you are new to all this. They work for YOU, not the seller. They negotiate on YOUR behalf. You usually pay them at the closing.
How old is the roof? How many layers of shingles on the roof? How old is the wiring, heating system, the pipes, and appliances? If there's a furnace, check out the age of it, records of it being maintained, check the filter yourself and see if it was ever changed. How old is the hot water heater and is it rented or owned? Is this a gas/oil/propane house? Is the house insulated and if so, with what? Is there an attic? Are there ridge vents in the attic or any other type of ventilation?
How old are the windows? Do they leak? Look for signs of water damage around them.
Check out the bathroom - ventilation? Ceiling fan? Window? Flush the toilet. Does it flush? Do you have to flush 3 times before a piece of toilet paper disappears? Check out the water pressure. Do the faucets drip? Are there stains around the drains?
Open closets, doors, drawers. Don't laugh: bring a level and use it. Put it on the walls, the floors, the ceilings.
Is the basement cinder block/poured cement? Dirt floor? Is there ventilation in the basement? Is it damp? Are the joists "punky" - can you stick an ink pen in the wood? What's holding up the first floor? Lolly columns? Is the main carrying beam bowed? Bring a flashlight, look for mold/mildew. When you are in the basement, look for water lines on the foundation. Are belongings up on pallets? When you are down there, look up. Check out how the wiring is hung. Does it look new? Are they frayed? Fuses or circuit breakers? Look around the electric box for singe marks. Direct access from basement to outside? Bulkhead?
Your state may require a radon test at the home owner's expense. Tricky situation. They put the test canisters in the basement, you leave, they open the windows, put a fan on, etc, and wham: perfect test results. There may be some type of test where that can't happen - I'm not sure on that.
You don't live in the northeast because you can't find land for the price you said this house is, so are there termites/powder post beetles/carpenter ants? All can cause havoc.
Septic or town sewer? Well or town water?
Is the house in a flood zone where you are required to buy flood insurance from your lender, if you are using a lender?
Carpets are cosmetic, don't even factor that in unless that is the only thing you can find wrong. Gutters are the least of your problems. You don't need gutters to live in the house. If you do, they are relatively cheap and easy to install. Save it for later. A handyman can put them up for a reasonable price.
A MUST is a home inspector that YOU hire, not one the real estate agent recommends (conflict of interest big time). Pay the money to have a professional look at the building. A home inspection is worth its weight in gold. He will find a multitude of things wrong. I had one that pointed out the bowing of a foundation wall that you could only see when you placed the side of your face against the wall and looked down the length of it with one eye closed. You want the structural integrity of the house determined. Pick the most expensive or the most important things the inspector finds that matter to you and that is your negotiating factor when the time comes. Home inspectors are not used until after an offer has been made and accepted. You then negotiate the final price based on his findings.
There are very few perfect 'used' homes. An inspector should point out everything I've mentioned, and then some. The key is you need a very reputable inspector. They must be licensed - check them out before you hire. Ask for references. Ask the town's building inspector to recommend someone. Make sure it isn't his brother-in-law.
Buying a house is a huge undertaking, but if you are well educated in the process, have the help of an inspector, and buy with your head not your heart, you will do well. Think it through, don't rush. The last thing you want is a money pit or the neighborhood from the Land of Satan. Look past any messes and clutter, though that's a good indication as to how they have maintained the home. Look past paint and light fixtures. Cosmetic fixtures should not even be considered. Those are things you can do little by little if need be. For every one house you fall in love with, there are 5 more that will come along. Seller's real estate agents are scary. You have to play the game, show them you know what you are doing otherwise they will walk over you. It's scary, but it's exciting at the same time. Wait until you have to sell a house...now THERE is a nightmare!
I wish you all the luck!
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Before the post gets buried below regarding credit - very long message sm
I just wanted to share with the posters who were considering bankruptcy.
Unless you are on the verge of losing your home, I would strongly encourage you to consider another option. Bankruptcy does not just go away after a few years. It's there forever. Even if you rebuild your credit afterwards, it's still there - a haunting demon. A friend and my in-laws also filed bankruptcy in the past.
My in-laws filed over 20 years ago and have recovered financially but it's still there.
My husband is a credit card spender. I would only spend when I had the cash and did not depend on credit. It didn't matter though. Our spending habits combined nearly led to our financial demise a few years back too.
This is what I did and I hope you give it a try and it works for you too.
I started with a complete inventory of all of our bills, separating them into three categories.
Home (mortgage and utilities)
Credit cards - (lowest balance to highest balance regardless of the APR)
Miscellaneous bills (entertainment, clothing, food, gas, fast food, etc.)
Since the Home category is pretty consistent every month, I set up a budget for that first. I went back through our utility bill for the year prior and chose the highest month bill of the year and added that amount to our mortgage amount.
Next, I reviewed our telephone, internet, and television (satellite) bills. On average, I was paying about 230.00 per month for them all combined. Way too much in my opinion. I started shopping around and found a bundle package with Verizon. Now I pay 153.00 per month for unlimited long distance telephone, satellite TV, and DSL service. Saved $77.00 per month, just doing that.
Then I added this amount to the mortgage and utilities. This totalled amount is what I know I absolutely have to pay every month and I better make sure it's in the account.
Next, I did the Miscellaneous. I'm a paper keeper, meaning I keep EVERY receipt and then purge them about every 3-4 months. I started going over what was spent where and learned that we spent a lot more than we really needed to. I set up a weekly grocery budget and a fun budget. If there was anything extra at the end of the week, it was divided evenly between the two and added to the next week. I do this every week until the end of the month. If there is anything left over, that amount is divided in half again and half is divided again and added to the following week's budget (grocery and fun), the other half is locked away in the savings account.
The money for monthly gas was a little trickier when the gas prices skyrocketed. I first had a set limit for gas each week but did have to adjust that. I did manage to adjust it a little bit upwards and still be able to pay the cards down (see below.)
Also, every time I spend cash, no matter if the amount is $5.01 and all I need is a penny, I don't. Instead, I will give them $6.00 and get 0.99 change to put in my giant size espresso cup of change. When the cup gets full, the change is rolled and turned in to the bank as a deposit into the savings account. My cup last gave me $281.00 change to put in the savings account. That was in March. It's full again so will be adding at least that much to the savings account again very soon. Nobody touches the cup! They might lose a finger or even a hand!
That being said, and having two set amounts for each budget, I then subtracted that amount, plus the Household amount from our combined monthly income.
Lastly came the dreaded credit cards. To be honest, I was floored when I learned just how much credit card debt we had. My husband had wracked up over $40,000.00 in credit card debt alone. Since he paid his own credit card bills each month, I had no idea. Even worse than that, he is very inconsistent about paying his bills on time so he had late charges and the interest rates were way the heck up there. It was terrible.
I took each of his cards most current statements and started from the lowest to highest balance. The lowest one was about 1200.00 but the interest rate on it by that time was 22%. This is where I started.
I had him call the company and basically gave him a script to go by (my name wasn't on the cards or I would have done it myself). He requested a decrease in his APR on each and every card. Two of the five card companies agreed on the first call. The 22% card was reduced to 11% so they cut it in half. Not as low as I would like but it was a start. Another card was up to 31% and they reduced that to 20%. The other three didn't budge the first time.
This is where I made two 'necessary' purchases. The first one was MS Money software. I highly recommend it. You can set up your checking, savings accounts, print your checks, balance your checkbook in about 5 minutes, pretty much a no brainer software that really keeps you in line with your bills and spending as long as you remember to faithfully enter any debit card purchase in your check register provided with the software. It will also link to many banks to update your balances online. You can also set it up to remind you for upcoming bills. (Maybe if the husband had used this earlier, we would not have been in this situation?)
The second purchase was about $8.00. An accordion file folder for the monthly statements. Husband always threw his away and I can't even begin to tell you what a dumb idea that is. KEEP them. Organize the tabs for each bill and put your statement in when you pay each bill. I also write the date and the amount when I make a payment somewhere on the statement, then keep them in chronological order.
The actual payments came next. The smallest balance card was paid off first. All of other cards only got the minimum payment PLUS $1 more. I started doing this just for my own peace of mind I guess but I learned later that this actually helped us a bit when negotiating the lower APRs on the three more stubborn cards. It may have only been $1 extra but it was EXTRA payment and, believe it or not, they do look at that.
Excluding the card to be paid off first, I added up the minimum payments of the remaining four cards (plus the extra dollar to each of those) and decided on an amount to pay the lowest balance card to get that balance moving toward 0 as fast as I could.
In this case, I decided on 200.00. This left me with a little over 200.00 extra (I call it mad money but it really goes into savings anyway -planning ahead for birthdays, auto insurance, Christmas, and emergencies.)
I had that card paid off relatively quickly in a few months. When it was paid off, the card was cancelled and that 200.00 was added to the minimum payment (plus $1) on the next lowest balance card. After the first month of this, once again, had the husband call his credit card company and ask for a reduction in his APR. This time it was granted. Should also mention that this card was one of the three that refused the request the first time.
The first six months or so of this was a mildly painful transition. He was used to whipping out a credit card, I was used to having cash on hand for whatever I wanted. It wasn't going to happen anymore.
Finally, I was down to the last remaining card (754.00 per month payment by this time, having applied the payments for each card to the next as they were paid off.)
When I got to this point, I started shopping around for cards with rewards programs and started comparing those cards. The last card I was paying on also had a rewards program but not quite what I wanted. I wanted to know if the terms were negotiable. It was! How about that!
So, instead of losing a valuable customer the card company decided to keep me.
Now I get 3% back on purchases of most things as long as I pay the balance in full every month (which I do). Any kind of air or rail travel purchased with the card is a 6% reward.
I no longer use a debit card. The husband is not allowed to get a credit card again but instead, takes a certain amount of cash every week. Say what you want but he got us into this mess pretty much so he has to live with it now.
It's been a few years now working with this system but it has been very good for us. I find that I average about 400.00 per month AFTER the rewards bonuses kick in so essentially I am able to bank another $354.00 per month in savings. It adds up quicker than you might think.
Should also mention that we have two teens still at home and they can really be expensive. They were made a part of the plan and do their part to help out too. Their contribution is mostly the avoidance of fast food all the time. They can come home and have a meal or eat before they leave. Things like that.
Sorry for the lengthy post but hopefully I can help anyone else get out of a potentially bad financial situation like we faced.
the underlying read-between-the-lines message of the insurance lobbyist's message was (sm)
to, yes, appeal the denied claim. However, she lobbies for the insurance companies. She comes across sounding like she's on the patient's side but in reality she is on the side of the insurance company. The insurance company gets to deny whatever claims they want right off the bat. That leaves the SICK patient (who needs the coverage NOW when they are sick) to have to go through the appeals process. That could take quite a while. Imagine a cancer patient being denied some form of treatment that is going to help them. They now have to go through the appeals process (or pay out of pocket) in order for that treatment to be covered. In the MEANTIME their cancer is progressing. From the point of view of the insurance company, if they drag it out long enough they don't have to pay for it at all. That same insurance lobbyist was on 20/20 a little while back and basically came right out and said that the insurance companies COULDN'T AFFORD to pay for coverage for sick people. She's not on the patient's side.
Depends if it is long with pregnant pause um no. If it is long and juicy like an op YEP! Short ones
x
I had it during my pregnancy a long, long time ago. Husband
aa
How long is too long to wait for Pap results?
This is a follow up Pap for an abnormal one a few months back. I have waited for the results for over a month and have called the office once. Any advised about being a patient patient - LOL. Its hard when your in this business, I think anyway, not to be more aggressive about stuff like this.
Message to Mom of 3 below.
Wow! First of all have to give you compliments on stating your opinion as I figure you knew you would get nailed. I am also one that is a firm believer of kids have the ability to learn, sometimes through tough love and sometimes through every day simple life. Although I would disagree with you about the "coat incident" I still can relate to you on trying to teach kids to take care of your things, etc. I love my kids dearly, but I know at any moment I could be taken from this earth and I want them to be as prepared as they can be at 8 and 9. I don't expect perfection, but when they do "screw up" I make sure they definitely know it (and remember it). I think most people now do not appreciate children the way we do. They are very intelligent if you give them the opporunity to be. They deserve respect just as adults do (when they earn it.... just like adults). We have to teach them to be adults and it has to start somewhere. Again, I don't completely agree with you, but overall I understand what you are saying. Please ignore any misspelling in my post... I am using my husband's keyboard, which is "stiff as a board!)
Sorry, should be sm for above message
nm
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I believe homosexuality is a sin, but I also believe that sexual preferences should be personal and private. I would not refuse to shop at a store because a clerk was gay, but frankly, that is something that I shouldn't even know about a stranger. A person's sexual behavior should be totally private.
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I paid my balance off in full, received a finance charge statement of about $42. I called the credit card, and said I do not understand - I paid the balance in full, what is this charge for. Act like you need them to help you understand. They adjusted my account and took that finance charge off and said I will receive a statement of the adjustment and my balance is now 0.
It really all depends on how you handle it and in what way you speak to them. Try it that way and see if they will adjust it off.
Good luck!
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I just had my ovary removed due to a cyst and surgery went well, I did well postop and was relieved that it was over. However, just found out that the pathology report showed carcinoma and now I have to have a total hysterectomy and staging workup. Anyone been through this that can offer some comfort in what to expect? Thanks.
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Thank you for your suggestions. At least you give me suggestions other than telling me to seek therapy or bariatric surgery, which I would never consider anyway. I get defensive when I feel attacked for my opinions, thus the *anger* in my previous posts. I DID read your post thoroughly and I did note that you used to have a weight problem, as well. Anon upset me, and I guess I took it out on you. I apologize.
I will put in to use some of your suggestions, but just so you know, my one meal a day does not include snacking, either. I am busy working most of the day, have a lot to do, and the time just slips away before I realize I am hungry, which is generally around 3 in the afternoon. I may have a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, and sometimes water, but that is all. Some will find fault with that, as well, I am sure, but that's the truth. Again, thanks for your input. At least you are more pleasant about it all.
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Your symptoms sound similar to carpal tunnel, but it may be something else, too. If I may suggest seeing a neurologist? It sounds more like a nerve problem to me and it does not necessarily have to be in your hands or wrists. EMG nerve conduction studies on your hands may be negative, but I have done dictations from doctors who have patients with carpal tunnel with false EMGs and the docs call them false positives, meaning the patient actually has carpal tunnel, but the studies were not definitive for that. As the other poster suggested, it may also be neck related. Just get a second opinion from a different doctor, and be insistent on what YOU want checked. Some doctors are resistant to patient requests, so you have to stand up for yourself. good luck.
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When my 17 year old calico passed away a few months ago, I was with her, as well as my 20 y/o son, and it was very hard for us both to watch. My son couldn't stop crying...she was part of his entire life. We still have the 16 year old male with us, Oscar, who misses her very much. They always stayed in close proximity to one another...even though they still gave each other glaring looks at mealtime. He just hangs onto us all the time and it's hard to work because he insist on laying on my desk, in my lap, knocking everything off. He has never done this before. She always laid at my feet and talked to me and he laid up high. It's sad because he can't understand what's happened. She was his long-time partner.
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I would be careful...I am facing court for just this right now, due to old debt that I started accruing, due to being quite desperate and broke, after my bankruptcy was filed. I can file again but probably won't and don't want to, but still have to deal with the courts, this week actually. can't wait. bankruptcy is not the end of the world. you can get a credit card again and you can work on your credit. It stays on your credit report for ten years. how long will it take you to pay off that debt???
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He obviously wanted to be with her and you cannot fault him for that, I guess. It is never easy when someone in the family takes their own lives and those left behind never truly understand why or how that person was feeling inside. It is very hard, and I feel your pain. Cry, let it out, and then take God's hand. He will get you through it somehow. There will be a brighter day. They are together now. Maybe that will help some. God bless you and your family. {{{hugs}}}
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you only have to look into your heart to know what is right and what is wrong. I am not going to argue religion with you. I have my beliefs and you have yours, or disbeliefs in your case, and I am not going to argue with you about who is right and who is wrong. Time will tell that, in the end. and no one said anything about someone coming into your room on your deathbed and preaching to you, personally. It sounds like you are so opposed to it because you may actually be wrong about it more so than you just do not believe. Good luck to you.
My message above should have had SM as there is more
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See message -- going it alone
Think of a younger family member. Well everyone thought I was nuts to take my almost 18 year old nephew with me to San Francisco as I could not do the "night life" but we had a wonderful time. never walked so much in my life. We have always gotten along but he is so easy to travel with and appreciative of it. Went to a Giants game, did the Fisherman's Wharf almost everyday. Got lost. Took wrong buses and it was so nice being with someone that never got upset, enjoyed the little things and went with the flow. We talk about it all the time. I gave him so much money every day which was out budget for meals and "fun things" and he saw how the money went and if we did not spend much for breakfast it left that much more for dinner or something "extra". He had to figure out what the tips were, etc. It was great -- I did not have to handle money at all, left it all up to him. He read the maps and got us around with buses, etc. It was also nice that I did not have to worry about someone drinking too much and ruining the next day which is what my ex did more times than not. Saw everything down there. There is why I am thinking of taking him (now 19) and his 17 year old brother to Boston with me. So think of taking a younger family member that will enjoy it with you if you do want to share some special time with them. There are a lot of great teenagers out there that do like to spend time with adults.
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http://www.sydneyscloset.com/
YES!!! See message
Hey, this happened to us just about a month ago. My hubby needed his ASAP!! I called the Records place in Kansas (where he was born) and they were willing to overnight it to me. Now, the total cost including the certificate was 36 dollars and we didn't get it until after 5 p.m. (could have paid more to get it before noon) on the 2nd day (ordered it on Tues, got here on Thurs), but I ordered it after 4 p.m. too, so you could probably get it faster. good luck!!!
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I don't mean this to sound rude or harsh, but I would tell them to start saving up now for moving expenses in October. If they have the next four months to save, they could probably find another place to live and pay for security deposits and moving transportation, etc. This is not a good financial situation, it sounds like, and I really do not foresee acquiring a loan in time to purchase this home, not to mention them not being able to meet the payments if they do secure a loan. I would tell them to prepare for the inevitable now, so they are burdened with financial problems when the time arises, and it most likely will. To keep them from moving in with you, this would be the best route for all involved. It is not your responsibility to solve their problems. Good luck to you.
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My friend just went through the same thing but because she didn't want to be alone, they stayed together until recently. He was having an affair and the other lady divorced her husband which is when he decided he was not going to stay married to her. I guess I'm saying this because I have seen what my friend has gone through with the other lady and if your husband feels that way, he might also find someone with the same interests. It is better to separate/divorce before an affair than during/after, as in the case with my friend. Good luck!
No Message
If you look at the end of the subject, before you click on it and it says NM at the end, that means there's no message inside. I hope that helps and didn't confuse you more.
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Have you tried PetShed.com or other out of the country suppliers? I get mine for half the price. I also have several inside cats and this is much cheaper, even with shipping. Same pharmaceutical company making it, same med as in the US, just cheaper, because big pharma aren't buying the other countries.
sorry, there IS a message in there! sm
m
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I too have an old cat, nearly 17. She has moved into my closet and spends time between my closet and my husband's closet. Odd behavior. She mews very loudly all the time and I don't think she sees well. I believe if the cat wanted to go out, I would let him. He might want to die and you "find" him afterwards rather than watch him die. Sorry about your cat. My Sam is not far behind I am afraid.
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I am looking for Tabletops Gallery dinnerware, pattern is Winterland. Kohl's has this dinnerware 80% off, and I love the pattern, but they had no plates. They have cereal bowls, coffee mugs, and serving bowls, and that's all. I'm mainly interested in the dinner plates and salad plates. If anyone knows where I might find this dinnerware, please let me know. I appreciate it very much!!
To different message
Thank you for your reply....this is the kind of input that I was looking for without being bashed in the process....thank you....
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You need to talk to him as wife to husband, leaving the other people out of it. I mean completely, because if you mention them, he will get defensive.
Just talk to him about not being as close to him as you would like. Ask if there is something he would like to talk to you about. Let him talk. (Yes, I know, men are great talkers!). Try being calm. Good luck, because I wouldn't be, but try. Say you would like to make plans to do things as a couple. Say you might like to include other friends, if he would like, but don't mention that other couple. Make it all sound like it is between the two of you and only the two of you. Try to be very loving. If fact, I would go out of my way to show him how much you care about him.
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Can you email me and maybe can discuss a little more on the issues you and I both are having. Thanks!
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How do I do that exactly?
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I understand what you are saying. I am happy that we are all able to enjoy ourselves, but it is a bit hard to see a thread or two that get stuck in between. You can always E-mail MTStars Administration and maybe they will make a separate board for games, or a Gab Board 2, that way everyone will get appropriate response to their threads and still allow a place for fun. 
Moderator
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Our Terms of Service are available at mtstars.com (look to the left).
Also, I would like to make you aware that as Moderators we are able to see IP addresses. I can see that you are the same person who is continuing this argument. You are also the same person who said something extremely crude to the Moderators approximately 2 weeks ago on the Medquist board...a place where you frequently create problems.
Moderator
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I will address these posts and then the discussion will finish.
1. Yes, we are able to see IP addresses, so we do know exactly who is continuing arguments -- I was referring to the person located in Mt. Laurel, NJ.
2. There is more than 1 Moderator for this site. As far as which Moderator deletes/edits/locks which post, I cannot keep track of this information. If you are following the site TOS, there should be no problem with your post.
Moderator
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You can E-mail the site Administrator and make this suggestion.
Moderator
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The other moderator is correct, there are 4 of us. We are not always aware of what has gone on with threads. From what I can see you did post the msg below, but it was not you who responded with the crude comments. That would be the same poster who WAS continuing the argument on the previous thread.
I do apologize for the accusations, but please understand we err too. We get just as worked up when people start fighting and writing rude remarks.
I am not familiar with previous experiences with you, so I will not comment on those.
I will say, though, that the moderator did explain not to comment on closed threads. There is a reason they get closed, and opening that door back up won't fix anything. Since the moderator explained it and this thread was still started, it's very easy to assume that you are trying to start an argument. If you aren't, that's wonderful. We don't like the fighting anymore than the next person, and we certainly don't like to ban anyone. We would much rather lock or delete posts and give everyone a chance to cool down. If time goes by and one starts posting the same things, we have to assume they are starting fights.
If you have any questions, feel free to email me.
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We are aware of who is causing problems.
Moderator
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I'm very sorry for your health issues, and I'm starting to think you're right about doing it along the way.
My mother, who is 55, has so many health issues it's simply hard to believe some days. BUT, she's been telling me the same thing....I get the mom lecture, saying..you need to take care of yourself. You're running yourself ragged. If you don't start now, you'll end up just like me. I did the same thing you did, and it was always about you kids, but look at me now. You're all grown up, and I have a hard time enjoying my grandkids because I'm doctoring all the time.
Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and I still hardly ever listen to my mother...even though I know I SHOULD:-)
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My mom was the only caretaker of my grandmother. There were two other siblings but they never showed up and when my aunt did show up, she didn't have a clue how to take care of her because she never did. My grandmother was diabetic and over time, deteriorated to bedridden with Alzheimers. Well, since my aunt couldn't ramble with her and act silly "visiting" with relatives, she certainly did not want that day-to-day around the clock care needed. So my mother got power of attorney for all her needs, thereby eliminating any interference from her siblings. They just didn't get it and even though my GM passed away two years ago, they still have some strange resentment towards my mother. She had nothing to bury herself with, so my mother paid for that as well with a little help from me. Her siblings showed up for the burial arrangements as if it were any of their business but never offered a dime to pay for anything. They actually thought my mother had hoarded money from my GM, who by the way, got around $300 a month in SS (rich huh?)and that all went for special meals, medications, and other necessitites that Medicare did not pay for. My mother lives on limited income herself, so no extras. She had absolutely no assets so nothing of material value whatsoever. My uncle's sons told me they wanted to help pay for the burial, since they knew their dad wasn't going to help, but my mom wouldn't accept it. I can't blame her. My aunt had the gall to hand over $40 bucks that HER sister-in-law gave to "help out" but my aunt never offered a dime. Go figure! Long story short, get power of attorney for your father and tend to him yourself. If your sister has a problem with that, too bad. She didn't want the responsibility before and won't have to worry about it now. Sorry this sounds so mean, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
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All kinds of weird things happen when your pregnant. I remember my baby pressing on my ribs and it was hard to breathe. It could be something like that. I'm sure it isn't anything to worry about. Hang in there, not much longer to go. Good luck to you!
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It has already been discussed on numerous occasions that we do not grammar police at MTStars. If this becomes a continuing theme with certain people who post here, I will be left with no option but to ban you from this site for not following TOS.
Here is a link that answers the question a few of you were asking: http://alt-usage-english.org/genitive_and_possessive.html
Moderator
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i haven't checked any of the things that you mentioned. i did do a search on internet and found a website called topix and there were a whole bunch of people in there that own monte carlos and had the exact same problem as me. there were people that had cleaned the sensors that are on their wheels and said that helped. so that's what i'm going to tell my husband to do, clean the sensors. each tire has a sensor and i guess they can get dirty. those sensors are what tell the car if more traction is needed (i'm guessing). i think cars now days have way too much computer stuff on them. i'm not old (only 36), but cars are just so expensive and they're making them to where now if something goes wrong, you have to take it in and put it on a machine to diagnose it. my hubby knows how to work on cars (even though he's an aircraft mechanic - he can still fix stuff on cars), but the computer stuff on cars, just silly.
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Well, I have to say he definitely isn't thoughtless. Matter of fact, it seems he over analysis and thinks things out waaay too much. My daughter just rolls her eyes at it. What we felt for our SIL was not aminosity. We thought a lot of him at first, and felt he always had our daughter's best interest at heart. What we do know to be true, however, is that after the engagement the person we saw changed into someone who became manipulative, overbearing, and controlling. He just manages to do it in a way that seems harmless enough, but there's just something about it that doesn't feel right. Our son saw the same thing and he spent way more time around them than we have. He does come from a family in our community where some believe they are right up there with God, but unfortunately never have had to deal with them one on one. We have asked ourselves the same thing....why has our daughter not seen this. Our son tells us he has seen her chew him out before but never where she thinks anyone can hear. He's waaaay to interested in her girlfriends, as we have come to know, since they have been married. He thinks her girlfriend's problems/situations are his as well,as if he should be involved. We have just overlooked many many things but I have to say, we have done it for our daughter. We have been nothing but pleasant around him but he can be very rude and pompous acting. So if that sounds like we wish we had a different SIL, we just wish we had the one we saw before the marriage. His dad said he can be a little too over zealous about things, which may be the case here, but this just isn't thoughtful at all. Oh well, I guess we'll see tonight.
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I get some yummy recipes from the Kraft recipe website - just Google it for ideas :)
your son see message
Get him out of the house and away from the video games and involve him in some physical activity, anything that will release his energy. Boys like yours especially need this!
same here - see message
Cure = Prozac. Nuff said.
yes, see message...sm
sounds like you may have plantar fasciitis...most common if you walk on hardwood floors barefoot a lot? get some crocks and wear them every time you walk, scrunch up your toes and bend and flex your feet well before you get out of bed in the morning, and if it safe for you, take Aleve twice a day. The crocks are the best for it. I got some of the ones that are made like flip-flops and they worked great. Also on sale this time of year. It can get really bad...so start treating it fast and be consistent!
So did you get some anyway? no message
I hope so!! (just in case you clicked on this anyway)
Okay, here's what I see in your message
"1. I'm not dumb, I went to a University (husband went to state colleges)."
It sounds to me that maybe his brother feels inferior to your DH.
"2. When told he should be prepared if he gets drafted he said "oh no they wouldn't draft me, I work for a prestigious company and I went to a University and if I was drafted I would automatically be an officer, I wouldn't have to do all the other stuff the uneducated ones do." There is no draft anymore. Nobody is automaticaly an officer just because they work for a prestigious company. (Another way the brother sounds quite inferior to your husband).
"3. Why do you live in that state you do? Only bumpkins live there." That's totally ignorant.
"4. Why do you keep moving? Have you done something illegal and are trying to hide? (Weve been at the same address for 2 years." That makes no sense.
"5. You should be happy is "O" gets in, you'll get your welfare check. When DH said what in the world makes you think I don't work, he said "you do"? (I think it's odd that he didn't even ask DH what he does)." He's showing how inferior he feels again. He wants that check himself.
"6. You know your just stup!d because you voted for GW. When DH said to him what makes you think we voted for him? He just said "you didn't? We all thought you voted for him". DH said, no I didn't vote for him, I voted Independent.": Just trying to stir up political trouble.
"7. He made a comment about there might be a bloody war coming in the middle east and then said "Oh I'll bet your really hoping that will happen". DH said well no, why would you say that. Then the little *(&% changes the subject." Might be a bloody war in the middle east? Where's he living? He doesn't know about Iraq and Afghanistan? Shows his ignorance again.
".... but his brother doesn't know anything going on. All he wants to talk about is sports (which DH hates sports) or who the Survivor or American Idol winner is." He lives in a small world, has a small mind, and if I were your husband, I'd forget everything he says. You won't be able to change the brother's attitude. Your husband sounds like a good man and 12 years in the service is not an easy feat. Your husband is the better person, as are you, so don't get upset with the family. Just keep living your life and enjoy yourselves. Don't dwell on pettiness (sp) or ignorance. I think you husband's family is just jealous of you guys and what you've accomplished in your lives and his brother is trying to get your husband down to his level.
Thanks - see message
My kitchen smells wonderful right now - :-)
I was thinking of using the crockpot but instead have a large kettle I'm simmering it in. After I posted the message I read the package and - ding! Low and behold it said simmer 2-1/2 to 3 hours, but like your message think its going to take 4, 5 or even 6 hours.
Thanks for the info about how to tell if its done. That's something I didn't know. So tonight we may be snacking and tomorrow night it will be corned beef with steamed cabbage, carrots, and baby white potatos.
What's done is done - See message
At this point, I would go get it back. If they borrowed it yesterday, they should be done with it. I'm sure you chewed out your hub to where he won't lend it out again, so hopefully you'll get it back in good condition and it will stay safely in your possession from here on.
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