Some married people have separate accts just like
Posted By: Alike but not really on 2009-01-12
In Reply to: Why does it matter? - Emily Ayn
my husband and I. I don’t know what he has, what he makes each week- the only time we know really is when we do our taxes. He and I have our own banking accts but we are signed on just in case the need arises. It might work for her- does for me.
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Please tell me, is either 1 of these people married
Either Helio or his dancing partner?
I have seen people get married from meeting..nm
Have seen it both ways, have seen marriages bust up over people meeting OTHERS online and I have seen people meet and marry from meeting online but I must say the former (marriages busting up from meeting OTHERS online) far outweighs the latter......been online nearly 13 years now.
People living together but not married
There's an article in TIME magazine (May 25 edition) about this subject. They're called CU's--Committed Unmarrieds. Here's a couple of interesting stats from the article:
Andrew Cherlin, a Johns Hopkins professor, says that unmarried parents in Europe stay together longer than married parents in the U.S.
Rutgers University's National Marriage Project says cohabitating couples are at least twice as likely to break up as married couples are.
Nonmarital births have increased the most among women ages 25 to 39, doubling since 1980.
The majority of cohabitants either break up or marry within five years, says Alison Hatch, a grad student at the University of Colorado, who is doing her dissertation on committed unmarrieds.
More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970 and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had unmarried parents, up from 25% from 2002.
I have 4 bank accts and pay no fees at all.
nm
I personally know 4 people who met and married via dating websites - sm
I was shocked at first when a good friend of mine in her 30s said she had met the most fantastic man on eharmony and was VERY skeptical, but I met him and he is very nice. They have been married 6 years now and baby 2 is on the way. Two of my husband's friends from work met women this way and both are now happily married from what we can tell. Lastly, my husbands 47yo cousin has met a man she is very serious about. They are flying back and forth from CA to NY every few weeks to spend time together. Maybe it does not work for everyone and there probably are some real losers there too, but I have seen firsthand that it can work. Just something to think about. Best wishes whatever route you take! 
Good grief, lost of people get married and don't have children nm
Z
That's why there are separate bedrooms - sm
quite a lifesaver in my book, even with that though I can hear him through the wall sometimes. I don't think he has sleep apnea, always associate that with being overweight (he is not at 5 feet 11 inches, 163 pounds); so I presume deviated septum. Of course he won't get it checked out. Unless it was a condition of work he just will not go to a doctor, hopefully I will not become a widow because of his stubborness and fear.
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
They are 2 separate boards.
You'll find the Christianity board listed right about in the middle of the list of boards to the left. See Gab Board, then Conservatives, then Liberals, then Christianity.
I separate mine from his - see why
My husband is completely financially irresponsible and has no idea how to budget.
After spending two years trying to sort out his last horrible mess, his is his and mine is mine now and will be forever more.
Could be a reason why they separate theirs too.
Same here. We have separate accounts and
he has his bills and I have mine. I do know what he makes though and our accounts are linked to the same access so I can at least see what he spends and vice versa.
Yes, and we have separate bank accounts ;)
x
take dog home with you; put cat in separate room for now.
nm
Going on 10 years, separate monies and
we have absolutely no problem with things. We half up big money items such as house taxes, vehicle insurance, the big bills but then he pays for the home, his truck, my BMW he bought me. I pay the smaller bills such as utilies because I have the smaller amount made. Works great for us. No problems ever.
can you separate the flavor from salt?
no, no more than you can separate the Christianity from the Christian. why should he have to HIDE his Bible in a drawer -- because the mere sight of it offends you non-believers? now THAT is silly. and calling the word of God propaganda is very offensive. Ah, but no so much to me as to HIM. and you will one day be before that 'big guy in the sky' and wishing you hadn't been so foolish.
I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills. I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out. I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do? Thanks for any info.
Separate bathrooms would definitely be great, or 1 huge one. Nix to the double
s
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
I'd be totally ticked! Time for a compromise or separate
s
Feed in separate rooms, leave in with food for 1/2hr.
x
Keeping that part of my life separate sounds best -
I have been asked on dates but just have not been interested. I feel stuck just wishing we could all be a normal family again (the 4 of us). I even think ahead to when I'm a grandma down the road and still can't picture me with a new man! I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to remain alone unless I met the guy who was a perfect fit with my kids.
I see lots of posts from marrieds with separate accounts.
Are my husband and I the last of the money-poolers? We have no separate accounts, and we don't keep track of who paid in more or less to anything. He makes more than I do, but it all goes into the family pot. I do have it easy at tax time, though. Hubby is a CPA. I haven't prepared a tax return since 1983. Haven't balanced the checkbook, either. I just peak over his shoulder. He's self-employed, which is no cake-walk. We pay estimated taxes quarterly and we NEVER get a refund. Even when DH was an employee, we never got refunds. It's a CPA thing. He has a long speech about not wanting to give money to the government interest-free. I don't care. He handles it, and that makes me happy.
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
why do you make your lasagne one day, separate it into meal size portions, freeze it, and eat it for
;
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now. 
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
People who go around calling other people "low class"
have their own issues in life. Ignore them. Nothing like a misplaced superiority complex to make a person feel good about themselves. Like they've never done anything gauche or made a faux pas. It must be nice for them to be so perfect and live in a glass house.
For that matter, you probably saved your piggy's life by popping that mondo zit! It could have gotten infected or something.... (yes, I have a zit popping fixation myself, but you were really descriptive on that pig zit. gag LOL)
Man, you would have appreciated the time one of my relative's popped a HUGE cyst on her face. I was standing right next to her at the time and leaned back because I knew it was going to blow. It did! Big time! All over the wall, mirror and light fixture. I'm still disgusted by the thought of it 10 years later. LOL In a revering kind of way...
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice.
x
Married?
I get the idea this guy might possibly be married and living with his wife in another city. If you continue to see him, 2 months is no time to clamp down on him to ask him about where the relationship is going. You sound as if the situation desperate. If not married on his part (I probably would check this out really good)you give a man plenty of rope. If they care for you, they will be there like a little puppy dog, if not then you have your answer. Again check for a license.....Living in another city, seeing you once a week, sounds really like a hmmmmmmm to me.
Are we married to the same man?...sm
Im stuck in the same situation pretty much. My husband does very little to help me in any way, shape, or form except when it suits him. I do the bills, most of the housework (he occasionally puts up dishes and sweeps the kitchen), all the child care (for 3), make all the phone calls, etc., everything. When I want to go somewhere there is always a big deal made...when he wants to go somewhere (even when I NEED him here so I can work if I get behind) he will go. I almost NEVER get out of the house without one or all children (if I get out)...when HE wants to go somewhere he does not want any of them to come. I think those so wondeful marriages are few. All I think about is leaving, but the kids....they love him. You cant work with someone when they wont work with you. 
did she know how he was before she married him?
nm
I think we are married to the same man!!
Not only does my husband blow EVERYTHING way out of proportion, but he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder! I lie to my husband anytime there is an issue that I know will really upset him and his own mother backs me up b/c she knows how enraged he becomes. I too feel guilty but having peace in my home is far more important to me. He definately needs some counseling and probably a good anti-depressant. I think the tape recording idea is excellent and I have always wanted to try it myself. Maybe if we let them see how ridiculous they sound they will wake up to their behavior. I feel for you b/c I have been in the same boat for 9 years now. I just keep praying and keeping the faith that one day he will change.....before I have a nervous breakdown!!
Very much married but ....
my eyes know beauty when I see it!
We had 2 --- they were my DHs before we married - sm
The one was a pure-bred with champion lines, the other a puppy mill dog. As stated below they can live very long. The PB lived to about 14 before she got cancer and we put her to sleep when she got too sick; the other was 16 before she got sick too and had to be put to sleep when she got too sick too. The first one was a bit mean though, fine with adults but did not like kids to mess with her and would bite/nip if a kid got to close; luckily she never made contact but not for lack of trying. We had to muzzle her at the vet. Great watchdog though. The other one was quite a yapper and dumb as a stick but quite a sweet dog and very loving, ate everything in sight though and she ended up quite porky. Sweet dog though. They are good dogs and I would not mind having another some day.
If you are not married I don't think you can do that - sm
though I am not sure about that, but it makes sense. He could add any kids they had but not the ex-wife. (he would have to lie and say they were married I believe) Also if for some reason his job pays for it then he is getting off scot free, though there are probably not many jobs that pay for it in full now days (my DHs used to pay for it until about 2 years ago, and now we pay but only about $150 a month for a family of 4, so it is a steal, and very good insurance luckily). Personally I would not do it, he should just try to pony up and pay a little more each month to get current again (get a second job if he has to); $1K is not that far behind, what 2 months maybe? He can just work a little harder to pay her.
You married her son, right?
Then apparently her way of bringing up a child did not harm him, is that true or did you marry some dunce? I guess she might have a little sense- you have to re-educate her?
was it like this when you first married...
nm
but most of these are not actually married sm
The man usually only marries the first wife and the rest are not legal marriages.
yep...got married.
sheezh
Where did you get married?
A church, city hall, a park, on a beach, on a sailboat, a private home, a cabin in the woods, other? Was it in the U.S. or a foreign country?
I got married (eloped) in a chapel. It had 4 pews in it. Made in the U.S.A.
We got married
in the country by my husband's nephew's backyard pond. It was beautiful. I walked down on a long white aisle runner and stood under a decorated trellis. Wouldn't have traded an outdoor wedding for the world.
had to be married twice the same day.
Married at a beautiful,famous restaurant in the state of Kentucky. Lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, which is right across the bridge from Kentucky. At the last minute the rabbi said "I can't marry you there, I am not a licensed Rabbi in the state of Kentucky. We were married legally early in the morning at 8:00 am at the rabbi's house in Cincinnati where he was licensed as a rabbi, in his flannel shirt, his wife in her housecoat to witness the wedding, my hair had not been done yet by the hairdresser and was standing on end, so much for the groom seeing the bride 24 hours prior. At 12:00 noon the wedding progessed in Kentucky with 350 guests and 32 yards of chantilly lace in my gown, but we were already married. The ceremony was for show only.
I was married at 17 and had her...
and she was married at 17 and had the first of my grandchildren. I am now 48 and have 7 of them....all is well and it's true, grandkids ARE better than your own! You can send them home when you are done spoiling them. BTW, both my daughters are done having kids, so that's it for me!
When I was married, my ex said..
...he was glad I didn't call all the time like some of the other men's wives did where he worked. We worked similar hours so I really didn't have the opportunity and neither did he to be on a telephone. When we separated though, he brought up the fact that I never called him and didn't sound interested the rare instance when he called me. Go Figure! I called if there was something that simply wouldn't wait until he got home and vice versa! I've never used the telephone like lots of people, even as a teenager. Do better with letters and cards, dinosaur that I am, and love email. My daughter lives about 1-1/2 hours away. She and I went on a short 3-day vacation when she and her fiance were engaged. He called 3-4 times a day and I became pretty irritated, even though I tried not to show it. I try to leave them alone to live their life and wish he would let us enjoy each other once in a while. She and my granddaughter came one evening to my house recently and we went to dinner and a gymnastics meet. They were here about 5 hours total and he called 3 times during that time!! Feels like he does not trust her. 
mostly yes (still married now x27 yr)
Would you ever date/marry.....
someone who is less educated than yourself?
I did. I had 2 yr of college, husband left school in 8th grade (to professional sport).
someone of a different race?
I've dated people of several different races. If all else was right, probably would.
someone whose parent's are divorced?
depends upon the sticktuitiveness of the person, and their moral compass.
someone who has bad credit or alot of bad debt?
Probably not, unless there were good explanations.
someone who is overweight or obese?
yes.
someone who affliates or supports a different political party than yourself?
Yes.
someone who is rude to customer service staff?
My husband was often rude and arrogant. Its not a good quality, but he has changed and so, I might do it again (if I were younger).
someone who talks a longtime on their cell phone when you are eating?
Probably not. That kind of inconsideration may be too hard to change.
someone who enjoys a different genre of music?
yes, mate does now.
someone who does not enjoy the same leisure activities as yourself?
yes, you don't have to do everything together. If you have the same morals, life goals, and some things you enjoy together, that would be sufficient.
someone who is a very picky eater or someone who is a vegeterian/vegan and you are not?
yes.
someone who prefers to spend leisure time alone or with friends (without you)?
Maybe not, unless it was a lesser part of of lesisure time spent away from me.
.....
not married but
met my fiance at a yard sale!
I was married outside the
Catholic church, and then later had my marriage sanctioned by my priest, after returning to the Catholic church. No problem. Does not matter where or if you were married at a different church first. My husband, who is not Catholic, just had to agree to raise our children Catholic. I would recommend your daughter and her Fiance consult a different priest at a neighboring parish, or possibly even contact your Diocese and express your concerns to the Bishop. I bet this would not be the first complaint on this priest. What this priest is asking of them them is not typical or normal of the Catholic Church. Sounds like he is on a power trip. Good luck!
bern
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