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Keeping that part of my life separate sounds best -

Posted By: sadMT on 2008-04-14
In Reply to: I understand...there are single dads out there in your same situation (sm) - Anon MT

I have been asked on dates but just have not been interested. I feel stuck just wishing we could all be a normal family again (the 4 of us). I even think ahead to when I'm a grandma down the road and still can't picture me with a new man! I don't know, maybe I'm just destined to remain alone unless I met the guy who was a perfect fit with my kids.


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Wow - that sounds uncalled for on the teacher's part. sm
I think I would have had to bite my tongue not to say something too like stick your nose in your own business, LOL! I think I'd have a talk with the school counselor or principal and/or request a class change. You have that right. Teachers make a huge impression on our children and I would not put up with that.
Sounds like I'm not the only one who daydreams of a better life! sm
I too have had it all planned out in my head at least a gazillion times!!! It all seems a lot easier to plan than to actually put into action, especially knowing that the "jerk" won't agree to any of it, if nothing else for spite! There is never an easy answer to this. Despite it all I still love the man with all my heart, I just can't stand to be around him much anymore. He makes me so miserable. I use to blame it all on myself and think there was something wrong with me for him to be so unhappy. Now I realize there is something seriously wrong with him!
Your life sounds like mine and all
the other gays out there. I cannot believe someone actually said that we had an "agenda" and pushing it down their throats. They are just uninformed and ignorant and unfortunately, they worry too much what goes on behind closed doors. Perhaps if they would not concentrate on the bedroom so much, they could actually see that we are no different from them. I am "out" and my family and friends accept me for who I am and not what I am - I am no different from anyone else just because I am gay. It still amazes me that people can be so ignorant but that is just the way they were brought up. I was raised to respect all people no matter the color, orientation, etc. Obviously the poster here's why is the one with the agenda.
Sounds like he's blaming everything that's wrong in HIS life

Will he go with you to see a marriage counselor? It's time he faced up to HIS issues - being overly controlling, emotionally abusive, holding you to impossible standards then blaming you for not meeting them.


If he really wants to start over, the first step should be marriage counseling, AT LEAST once a week, twice would be better. If he won't agree to that, tell him to take HIS half of the equity and get out. And don't let the door hit is @ss on the way out.


Sounds good to me. I am going to get in that car and go or go with a travel group. Life is too

short to wait around on other people for whatever.  Probably plenty of people to talk to.  I just got out of the habit of going alone actually and it is time to get back into it.  Sometimes I agree you go with people and spend more time worrying if they like where you wanted to go than doing what you want.  Yep I am going to go for it.


Anyone with a printer deskjet know why it prints a page with part of it dark and part of it light.

It is not printing uniformly.


It's not the dancing part, it's the people part that I don't like. K? We clear now?
k
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
That should be keepING
How do I get 100% on QA checks, but yet I can't type a simple post? I do the same thing with my school papers. My professor's look at me and say "YOU'RE a medical transcriptionist?"
How old are you now? Think the key is keeping yourself
x
That's why there are separate bedrooms - sm
quite a lifesaver in my book, even with that though I can hear him through the wall sometimes. I don't think he has sleep apnea, always associate that with being overweight (he is not at 5 feet 11 inches, 163 pounds); so I presume deviated septum. Of course he won't get it checked out. Unless it was a condition of work he just will not go to a doctor, hopefully I will not become a widow because of his stubborness and fear.
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
They are 2 separate boards.
You'll find the Christianity board listed right about in the middle of the list of boards to the left. See Gab Board, then Conservatives, then Liberals, then Christianity.
I separate mine from his - see why
My husband is completely financially irresponsible and has no idea how to budget.

After spending two years trying to sort out his last horrible mess, his is his and mine is mine now and will be forever more.

Could be a reason why they separate theirs too.
Same here. We have separate accounts and
he has his bills and I have mine. I do know what he makes though and our accounts are linked to the same access so I can at least see what he spends and vice versa.
keeping tabs
My daughter travels around the country for business and she is the only employee that calls her employer when she arrives on site and when she returns home. They really appreciate this.
I have a parrot. What was said about keeping
x
keeping a secret
taking addiction too seriously is a mistake. Keeping it a dirty little secret is a mistake. Hiding "Pa" in the basement because he is an embarrassment is a mistake. There is NOTHING shameful about being addicted to a substance. I hardly think there is one person on this board who does not know someone on antidepressants or takes them and that is considered healthy? But medicating depression with vodka is shameful?

The best disinfectant is light.
Yes, and we have separate bank accounts ;)
x
take dog home with you; put cat in separate room for now.
nm
Going on 10 years, separate monies and
we have absolutely no problem with things. We half up big money items such as house taxes, vehicle insurance, the big bills but then he pays for the home, his truck, my BMW he bought me. I pay the smaller bills such as utilies because I have the smaller amount made. Works great for us. No problems ever.
can you separate the flavor from salt?
no, no more than you can separate the Christianity from the Christian. why should he have to HIDE his Bible in a drawer -- because the mere sight of it offends you non-believers? now THAT is silly. and calling the word of God propaganda is very offensive. Ah, but no so much to me as to HIM. and you will one day be before that 'big guy in the sky' and wishing you hadn't been so foolish.
regarding keeping the car tuned up and possible breakdowns(sm)
It can happen to ANYONE at ANY time.  I had a brand new 2003 car.  Six months off the lot and I'm stranded in a mall parking lot because the ignition switch died.  No warning.  No symptoms.  It was just DEAD!  At the time (Thanksgiving) it wasn't that cold out; however, I had gone out with a light jacket and no cell phone thinking there was no possible way I was going to wind up stranded anywhere because the car was reliable.  Now I don't go anywhere without the cell phone and a heavy coat when it's cold out. AND there is always a set of botts in the trunk just in case.  I'm happy that you don't have to worry about blizzards and cold temperatures; however, I'd be re-thinking your preparedness attitude. 
I am keeping the journal going and in addition...sm
I bought a ceramic cross yesterday with 1 Samuel 1:27 on it which says "For This Child I prayed". I wrote the baby's nickname that my husband & I called it, the EDC and "went to heaven" dates on the front of the cross and it's hanging in our living room next to our family photo.
Keeping the spark in your marriage...

For those who have been married for a number of years and are still in love with your spouse, how do you keep that "spark"?


Spare us the intimate details , but share with us how you and your spouse keep the flames of love a' burnin!


Keeping my fingers crossed that
Sanjaya's number will be up 
Why is there any controversy about keeping a maiden name?
I've "kept" mine. I also added my husband's name. Anyone who knows me as my children's mother uses my husband's last name when they address me. It's not wrong, so I don't correct them. There's no need. But my driver's license has my first name, my maiden name, and then my husband's name, no hyphen. (Hyphenation is clumsy, IMO, and causes so many problems when people are trying to find your name on alpha lists.)
I loved my father very much, and I had a wonderful family growing up. I was named for my father and we were very close. It's part of who I am. I want to keep that name because he gave it to me, and a very special gift it was, too! I also love my husband very much, and we built a family together. That also is part of who I am. He offered me his name as a gift to me, as well. I was glad to accept it, as well. I proudly use both names.
Yet, I've run into quite a few people who get quite angry and upset over MY name. I have a friend who married a Texan. When he found out that I continue to use my maiden name, he turned to my husband and said, "And you let her do that?" My husband's reply: "She's my wife, not my child. It's not for me to give her a name. And if it's none of my business, then it's certainly none of YOUR business."
That's why I love him!
In keeping with the question down below about in-laws...

We have all done our best to accept my brother's wife, but she grates on everybody's nerves. Now, that we can handle, but a few years back my mom bought a new (second-hand) car and gave her old car to my brother. She even gave them $500 to buy new tires for the car.


Then, when my mom's "new" car turned out to be a lemon and had to be in the shop for a week, my SIL refused to let my mom use HER OWN CAR that she had given them while her "new" car was in the shop - even though my SIL was NOT working and my brother had a car to go back and forth to work.


Yes, I know my brother needs to grow a backbone already, but that kind of set the tone for my SIL's relationship with the whole family.


So - what's your in-law story?


 


Keeping kitties off the counter...
I have always had good luck with this. Cover your counters entirely with aluminum foil. Tape it down. Leave it a day or two. The kitties absolutely hate the feeling of the foil under their paws and won't go back. I have even used this on the back of a sofa and it worked there too. The picture of you sitting there by the tree, in wait with the squirt gun is priceless. All this kitty talk, I'm getting ready to go to the shelter and get me another little furball of love. Wise
I love keeping out trash
like the person described above next door to her, love that have not seen 1 home here that is boarded up and reposssed, love that animals are not allowed to roam all over the place, love no cars sitting on blocks and junking up the neighborhood, love my neighbors are friendly, quiet and don’t have beer parties at all hours of the night, love the beautiful landscaping of our yards- in all just love being here in my little section of heaven.
I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills.  I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out.  I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do?  Thanks for any info.
Some married people have separate accts just like
my husband and I. I don’t know what he has, what he makes each week- the only time we know really is when we do our taxes. He and I have our own banking accts but we are signed on just in case the need arises. It might work for her- does for me.
You know how I looked at it? I tried to validate keeping my ovaries for (sm)
for the exact same reasons you are, but then when I thought about the risks involved, I then justified it in my heart and mind that a total complete hysterectomy was to be my path because I was afraid of anything metastazing to other organs, etc. In the long run, I figured I would have to lose the ovaries no matter what (whether it be now or years later), but the fear of me having been able to prevent it when I had the chance made me very comfortable with my decision.

I really can say that I have not experienced any side effects at all from it, but I do feel more at peace mentally just knowing that I have one less thing to worry about. Of course, this is not saying it will never reoccur somewhere else (God forbid), but I took care of the immediate problem completely.

I am going to continue you in my prayers and please let us know when you are going in so that we can all be here for support. Your decision is the best one you can make for your friends, family and especially for YOU. ((((hugs))))
Keeping tabs and silver platters

I'm in my 50s, but because I'm female and usually travel alone, I make sure someone in the family knows what plane/train I'm on or the general route I'm driving and I call them when I get there and when I get home.  Usually, I just leave a message because it's roaming minutes on the cell, but they know I'm OK.  That way, they don't worry without cause.  Should they ever have cause, then they can tell the cops where to start looking for me.


On another note, perhaps your son doesn't value what he's been given because it has been given to him on a silver platter.  I didn't have a car until I could buy it myself.  I had small scholarships to a private school, but my dad paid most of it - and it cost the same as buying a new car every year (which was not his style).  If I had pulled anything even vaguely resembling what your son did, I'd have been pulled out of school at the end of the semester and brought home to find a job I could walk to in my little rural town.  I'd have been paying room and board at home, too, until I found a place to live.  When I came to my senses and came crawling back to dad for help, he might have cosigned a loan to send me to the regional state school in the next town over, a fate worse than death.  I knew for a fact dad would do this if I got out of line or got bad grades, so I made sure I never did.


Still keeping the windows open, even at night
Here in So. Indiana, we are finally past the heat wave and really having some enjoyable weather.. but are still desperate for some rain. Won't even thinking about burning any wood in the stove until December.
machio-man:.....'that she is not keeping up the deal on her end.'
Does he? To make it believable he should have included pictures (from himself, not from his son!)
If this story really took place, I bet, judging from her answer, that this conversation was not done in a joking and amicable manner.

Separate bathrooms would definitely be great, or 1 huge one. Nix to the double
s
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
I'd be totally ticked! Time for a compromise or separate
s
Feed in separate rooms, leave in with food for 1/2hr.
x
I see lots of posts from marrieds with separate accounts.
Are my husband and I the last of the money-poolers? We have no separate accounts, and we don't keep track of who paid in more or less to anything. He makes more than I do, but it all goes into the family pot. I do have it easy at tax time, though. Hubby is a CPA. I haven't prepared a tax return since 1983. Haven't balanced the checkbook, either. I just peak over his shoulder. He's self-employed, which is no cake-walk. We pay estimated taxes quarterly and we NEVER get a refund. Even when DH was an employee, we never got refunds. It's a CPA thing. He has a long speech about not wanting to give money to the government interest-free. I don't care. He handles it, and that makes me happy.
Can't give you any advice of keeping plants alive, I'm
lucky my children are still living. LOL!
Similar thing here about a friend keeping in touch
Over the past 40+ years one of my girlfriends had stayed in touch with me until she had a son who died about 2-3 years ago. I made the big mistake, I guess, of repeating some things she herself had said when he was alive and basically she quit talking after that. Oh, well, she was the one who always needed helping and emotional support, had 2 sons who were either alcoholic or druggies or both and ran herself silly over grown men always bending over backwards, taking money she got from social security and paying their bills, letting them mooch off her, with her giving them cell phones so they could stay in touch, acted as if they were 4 years old, just literally enabling them to run her crazy. I guess I made the mistake of repeating what she had told me (and everyone else she knew).
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
why do you make your lasagne one day, separate it into meal size portions, freeze it, and eat it for
;
ROFLMAO!! But hey, with that humor, she probably doesn't stay mad long! Good for her keeping you.
dodging the bullets!  Keeps it interesting!  And keeps you honest!   Cowgirl 






I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.

Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
Try scrub ing/mopping with baking soda and vinegar and keeping windows open as much as possible - nm
x