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Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.

Posted By: pkmt on 2007-12-25
In Reply to: The Sands of Christmas...a poem - toomuchfun

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food passed to the right but if someone is serving

We even set the table ahead of time w/all the serving
s
iraq/daughter
Bless your heart.....I hope she fares well....I've a young man who was in Behran at the height of it....came back somber and shell-shocked and can be called back up any day now.  I don't think it's right to be expected do 3 tours of duty with this "volunteer" army,navy, marine corps,air force, coast guard, national guard.  Send the big-wig politician's kids in to do it, darn it!  Perhaps you're daughter willl reconsider. My prayers are with you.  Cat 
Iraq gifts sm
Again, cannot emphasize enough the importance of these guys and gals giving their lives so we can live free. Just imagine some terrorist knocking at your door! Gosh, these guys are OUR guys who are offering their lives for us, and will not ask for a thing. The operative word here is NOTHING, is which they ask for. Let's send them lots of SOMETHING! My opeative word is FIRST which is them. Let's get some dialogue going. No negative postings please! Let's just emphasize our GUYS AND GALS who will not be home for CHRISTmas!!!!!!!! I'm ready to give, are you?? Only legit please, we have a brain!
My son served in Iraq and he said he liked
The deck of cards I sent the best! That was sort of an add-in at the last minute to fill space in the box, yet he got the most use out of that.

He also liked the puzzle books and hard candy.
Heard from my nephew in Iraq!
I have written briefly about my 19-year-old nephew who is involved in this latest operation in Baghdad to route Al-Qaeda insurgents. Since it had been announced that his Division/Brigade was one of the primary groups in this action, we've all been just sick with worry. I just wanted to let you guys know that I had a very brief "I'm ok" email from him last night. He can't really say what he's doing or anything (naturally) but we're just sop happy to hear that he's okay. I can't think when I've been happier to open an email in my life! So I just wanted to share that happy news and to thank those of you who are praying/sending good thoughts/etc. for all of our troops. It means more than you can possibly realize.


if you have family in Iraq or Afghanistan,
and particularly if you are a Christian: I have a friend (a ranch wife) who has a number of things going on (for one, menopause, another feeling isolated) and she has all of her 4 sons serving right now, one in Afghanistan where things have been getting heated. She is very emotional, upset and i was wondering if any of you might be able to send (via e/m to me which i will forward) any words of encouragement. She was told by another friend, she didn't "have enough faith" which for the devout person she is, i think really hurt. I am just hoping someone in a similar situation who has a special understanding, maybe could help lift her spirits and encourage her.  Thanks for caring.
I would love to, but my husband is in Iraq :(
no message.
ever thought of donating to the troups in iraq? sm
most of the time the only way they have of contacting family at home is by using calling cards. great donations/gifts to send overseas. i know a few and that is all i ever get asked to send.
Holiday gift for nephew in Iraq

I'd like to send a gift/gifts to my nephew in Iraq. This is his first Christmas away so I know it will be hard for him. If possible, I'd like to include something personal just for him and maybe some stuff for his buddies to share. I asked him point-blank what he'd like and, typical guy, he says "anything" which is of NO HELP at all. I have no clue what they're allowed to have or not have.


You guys have any ideas? Thanks!


Question for sending to troops in Iraq (sm)
I want to send my cousin a care package for Christmas but want to know if there is a list of things I cannot send. Can anyone help me out?

TIA!
Letter or card writing to Iraq sm
Get an address for someone in Iraq and have them all write a letter or draw a picture for them.. All it will cost you is to buy some paper & envelopes and provide a stamp, won't cost much more for material than most projects. There was an address on here and perhaps she will e-mail you. My brother never forgot that my son's class did this for him. At that time the postage was free, not so with this president, I assume. I put postage in mine to Iraq, didn't ask.Dont know what the postage is today - it should be free but I seriously doubt it.Perhaps some parents would donate stamps as well.
Troops in Iraq throw a puppy off of a cliff.

Marine Corps Base Hawaii is investigating a shocking video of a smiling Marine throwing a puppy off the top of a steep hillside in Iraq into a gully below.


The video today gained widespread attention and condemnation on the Internet.


"The video is shocking and deplorable and is contrary to the high standards we expect of every Marine," the Kane'ohe Bay base said in a release.


Base officials said the video came to their attention this morning. An investigation has been initiated. Maj. Chris Perrine, a Marine spokesman here, said "it's looking like" the Marine is based out of Hawai'i.


"We do not tolerate this type of behavior and will take appropriate action," the base said.


Two Marines are seen in combat gear smiling as one holds a white-and-black puppy by the scruff of its neck. The dog seems to be about 8 weeks old and is motionless as it is held.


"Cute little puppy, huh?" says one Marine as he smiles broadly.


"Oh so cute, so cute, little puppy," says another in a child-like voice.


The Marine holding the puppy is then seen throwing the animal overhand into a desert-like gully below. The animal yelps until it thuds to the ground at the bottom of the gully.


"That's mean," one Marine says afterward.


The 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment of about 1,000 Hawai'i Marines recently replaced a sister unit in Iraq, the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment.


Marine Corps Base Hawai'i said the vast majority of Marines "conduct their duties in an honorable manner that brings great credit upon the Marine Corps and the United States."


There have been numerous stories of Marines adopting pets and bringing them home from Iraq or helping to arrange life-saving medical care for Iraqi children. Those are the stories that exemplify what we stand for and how most Marines behave."


======================================


The video is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlCiUMoFu84
(Safe for work because it's blurry, but still very disturbing)

Some people have claimed it's possible the video is fake, but it doesn't seem likely.

Really, really sick.

This kind of twisted lack of humanity seems to stem partially from the brutal brainwashing soldiers go through in bootcamp, combined with the severe emotional stress of the field.

Whoever those guys are, I hope they're both discharged immediately, but I also hope they receive serious emotional help.


My husband I have, many times. Gas gouging, oil, immigration, Iraq. sm
he calls about anything he feels they should know about. You would be amazed at how easily you can get through to talk to them. If they are not there, their aide will take a message and you either get a phone call back or a letter.

In Michigan we have Carl Levin, Debby Stabenow, and Vern Ehlers. Their aides and my husband are on a first name basis. Literally. The aides are the front line of the reps and sens etc. They DO make note and you DO get a letter in the mail about your phone call. It doesn't really change anything, but at least the elected officials are aware of what the temprament of the voting public is.
Thank God for daughters
My daughter came home and started going through scripture. This is what she came up with. It made me even sadder thinking about what a loss it is to lose a child.

Our dearest friends, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." -1 James 5:7 We are truly sorry for the world's loss and your pain. We're here for you.

me: Appreciate the input to all who posted. I knew she'd do it for me, but wasn't sure if she'd be here in time.

This is so sad....
I have three daughters (sm)
My oldest daughter has a different father than my youngest two. This situation had nothing with a breach of faithfulness to my ex-husband or current husband. I've been entirely faithful in my marriages. My current husband raises her as his own and has since before she was 2. We have as close to a nuclear family as can be expected in this situation.

We cannot assume that because children have different biological fathers (or mothers) in one family that there was some wrongdoing. :)
Two daughters 14 and 4
1. What ages are your kids?

14 and 4

2. Do they have their own cell phone? No,we were planning on getting my daughter a prepaid cell phone for Christmas until we realized all she wanted it for was to text and talk to her friends even though we had told her it was just for emergencies. She uses her father's cell phone if she needs to be away from home where I don't have an exact time to pick her up and has to call for a ride. Too many of her friends have cell phones and run up $500 bills and their parents think nothing of it (that's why we were leaning towards a prepay) or have the most expensive cell phones on the market. We also thought that she'd use up in her minutes in weeks instead of months.



3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: My four year doesn't have a TV yet, but my oldest does. She has her own laptop computer courtesy of her cousin, but it's right next to mine and she only can be on it for an hour a day. She's been grounded from it so many times for going over the hour, but she knows there are consequences for not following the rules.


4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?

The four year old doesn't yet, although she helps me more than the 14 year old without asking. LOL. The 14 year old just gets $5 a week for doing her chores, more when I'm really busy and I need her to watch her younger sister.



my daughters are 5, 2, and 1 so they don't say anything
sometimes the 5 year old will aske me why I don't like granny or why granny doesn't talk to me.

To answere your question, no, not really.

Long story short, brother in law was in jail and wanted pics of our kids. we said no and told her not to send either. she sent them anyway and when my husband called to say something to her about it, he talked to his dad and he got all mad about us not wanting pics of our kids in jail. they did not call us, talk to us, see our kids for 6 months. Then want to pretend like nothing ever happened (with my husband) when they came for a b-day party in Nov. This was the first time we saw them and she gave me a complete attitude, did not speak to me, turned her back to me everytime I said anything.
anyone have cheerleader daughters? sm
my 15yo is trying out next week.  she was cheerleader on little league squads, but hasn't been in jr. high and now trying out for varsity.  they have to make up their own cheer.  any ideas?  i've been searching the net just for some ideas and everything is just the same ole, same ole.  FYI, not trying to copy but just get some ideas to make the brain flow for me/her to try to put somethign together.  she needs something different and unique to make her stand out since she is up against lots of cheerleaders that have been on the squad for years. something short, with a jump or two in it.  HELP please!!! 
That's why there are separate bedrooms - sm
quite a lifesaver in my book, even with that though I can hear him through the wall sometimes. I don't think he has sleep apnea, always associate that with being overweight (he is not at 5 feet 11 inches, 163 pounds); so I presume deviated septum. Of course he won't get it checked out. Unless it was a condition of work he just will not go to a doctor, hopefully I will not become a widow because of his stubborness and fear.
I don't see why you would have to open a separate--sm
account just to deposit that check. Once the bank cashes the check, you get the money. If there are not sufficient funds, that will go against HIM, not YOU. He will have to pay the extra fees, etc. to have the check clear. You get your money, either way. They cannot take it away from you if there is not enough money in HIS account.
Yes, you need 2 separate gifts - sm
I have not been to one of these in so long I do not remember. I generally went with something more personal with a bridal shower gift but we are talking about best friends, and then something for the 2 of them with a wedding gift. You can always give money for both though. Surprised though they are doing a shower, they should have everything they both need by this time in their life. Maybe some nice kitchen towels or knives or something of that nature if you do not want to go personal; for the wedding gift maybe a gift certificate to a local restuarant (something useful you know they will use). If you do not attend though, you do not have to send a gift though a card would be the nice thing to do.
my 19 and 21 year old daughters sm
wore a size 4 shoe since they were 12.  It is hard for them to get grown up looking shoes. They are about 5 feet.  They would love to have bigger feet.  They take after my mother in law who was a size 4 her whole life.
puberty/daughters
There are many variations of menarche and the menstrual cycle that are considered "normal" from one female to another. For instance, my daughter, who is now 15, had her menarche at age 10; however, it was very light, brief, and definitely not from month-to-month. She developed early, is very tall (5ཆ"), and is of medium-to-slender build. She now has regular cycles, albeit on the "long" side, of approximately 36-40 days. She has played soccer and basketball.

They say that sometimes the daughter's OB/GYN history will follow that of the mother - but not always. I was on the track team in high school, was always very active with school, chorus, and band, but my body type was very thin and tiny. I weighed less than 95 pounds in my senior year. I am currently in my early 40s and weigh about 112 pounds (two pregnancies, with nine and ten-pound babies - no gestational diabetes) and am 5ƈ". I did not reach menarche until about the age of 15, but my cycles are short, about 26 days.

Just as with babies and potty training, for example, as long as there is no pain, sharp or otherwise, no passing large clots, fever, etc., I'm sure all will be well. It (puberty with fruition of regular menses) is "gearing up" in a sense. In fact, before my daughter's very first period, red blood cells were detected on a routine urine culture. The pediatrician knew right away that menarche was pending; sure enough, it happened within a couple of weeks.
They are 2 separate boards.
You'll find the Christianity board listed right about in the middle of the list of boards to the left. See Gab Board, then Conservatives, then Liberals, then Christianity.
I separate mine from his - see why
My husband is completely financially irresponsible and has no idea how to budget.

After spending two years trying to sort out his last horrible mess, his is his and mine is mine now and will be forever more.

Could be a reason why they separate theirs too.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock.  Would that feel good on your conscience?  You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Same here. We have separate accounts and
he has his bills and I have mine. I do know what he makes though and our accounts are linked to the same access so I can at least see what he spends and vice versa.
Thanks for this info. My 2 daughters and
I just bought a batch of 6 each. Thanks again.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
US Soldier Kills 4 Fellow Troops Before Killing Himself At US Base In Iraq

***UPDATE*** The Associated Press reveals more details about the shooter:


The suspect had been disarmed after an earlier incident at the center but returned with another weapon, according to a senior military official in Washington, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation into the shootings was ongoing.

***UPDATE*** The American soldier who shot dead five fellow soldiers at a U.S. base in Baghdad is in custody.


"The shooter is a US soldier and he is in custody," US marine corps lieutenant Tom Garnett, a US military spokesman in Iraq, told reporters.


The New York Times adds some perspective to the tragedy:


The killings appeared to be the worst case of soldier-on-soldier violence among the American forces based in Iraq since the invasion more than six years ago.
The shootings, which took place at a stress clinic, highlight the problem of post-traumatic stress disorder among U.S. soldiers, notes the Guardian:


Stress is one of the biggest killers of US soldiers in Iraq. About a fifth of all US troops are thought to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, contributing to high divorce and suicide rates. An estimated one fifth of the 4,292 members of the US force in Iraq have died from non-combat causes, either in accidents or from suicide.
***UPDATE*** According to Fox News, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs Monday relayed President Obama's response to the tragedy. Obama expressed shock and sadness and is promising to fully investigate what exactly transpired at Camp Liberty, so as to prevent such incidents in the future.



***UPDATE*** AP has another update. The shooting was at a 'stress clinic':


Pentagon officials say five Americans are dead after a U.S. soldier opened fire at a U.S. base in Baghdad. They say the attacker is in custody.


The officials say the shootings happened on Camp Liberty at a stress clinic, where troops can go for help with the stresses of combat or stress from personal issues.


One senior military official in Washington says it's unclear whether those killed are workers at the clinic or were there for counseling. He says officials also are unsure whether all the dead are members of the military.



***UPDATE*** ABC News reports that the U.S. soldier who attacked fellow troops on a U.S, base in Iraq has killed five of them and is now in custody. Initial reports suggested that he had turned the gun on himself after his rampage.


***UPDATE*** AP now reports that the U.S. soldier who went on a rampage against his fellow troops in Iraq may have survived the incident:



Pentagon officials say five U.S. soldiers are dead after an American soldier opened fire at a U.S. base in Baghdad.


The officials say the shootings happened Monday at Camp Liberty near Baghdad's airport.


One senior military official in Washington said it was not yet clear whether the shooter was among the dead. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the circumstances surrounding the deaths are under investigation.


Initial reports indicated the Army soldier shot several others, then turned the gun on himself. But it was unclear whether he, too, had died.



***UPDATE*** CNN reports that 3 other U.S. soldiers were wounded during the friendly fire incident that has left 5 U.S. troops dead. An American soldier killed 4 of his fellow troops before killing himself.


According to the Washington Post, it is the single greatest loss of life in a single incident involving U.S. soldiers since a truck bomb last month took the lives of 5 American soldiers.


***UPDATE*** CNN has just sent out a breaking news alert reporting that senior defense officials have told the network that a US soldier killed 4 of his fellow troops before killing himself. Check back for more information.


McClatchy is reporting that a shooting at a U.S. base in Baghdad has left 5 soldiers dead. The shooting occurred at Camp Liberty, a base near the Baghdad airport.



 


What are people supposed to call Christmas Eve and Christmas Day now?? (nm)
x
Yes, and we have separate bank accounts ;)
x
take dog home with you; put cat in separate room for now.
nm
Two daughters go back next Wednesday
Two days after Labor Day. One starting 8th grade at a the Junior High and one starting preschool. I'm in NY.
As the mother of two young daughters
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs.  No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding.  It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons.  I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship.  She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this.  I am so sorry!! 
Going on 10 years, separate monies and
we have absolutely no problem with things. We half up big money items such as house taxes, vehicle insurance, the big bills but then he pays for the home, his truck, my BMW he bought me. I pay the smaller bills such as utilies because I have the smaller amount made. Works great for us. No problems ever.
can you separate the flavor from salt?
no, no more than you can separate the Christianity from the Christian. why should he have to HIDE his Bible in a drawer -- because the mere sight of it offends you non-believers? now THAT is silly. and calling the word of God propaganda is very offensive. Ah, but no so much to me as to HIM. and you will one day be before that 'big guy in the sky' and wishing you hadn't been so foolish.
Amen! My daughters and I do laugh
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.
Our two daughters "came out" a year or so ago...
and it wasn't really a shock. I had already suspected it when they were wearing rainbow stuff, even had a rainbow dental retainer, but my husband just didn't want to believe and stated that everyone likes rainbows and that didn't mean anything LOL.  Our children were afraid of our reaction so that is why they delayed telling us. I wish they would have realized a long time ago that if they were purple, polka-dot or whatever they chose to be, we love them the same.  One of them is still unsure of her sexuality so we just stay supportive while she finds her own identity etc.  My husband's daughter who came out was afraid to tell her maternal grandparents, and when she did, she got the reaction she expected, total abandonment and was told to never discuss her life with them at all. That is very sad to me.  We continue to support and love them and keep an open mind when we have met their "partners." I will admit at first I was sad because at some point you realize all the dreams you have for your child are gone as in getting married, having children etc.. but I soon realized that this can still happen, just not in the tradition way.  Love is unconditional. That's my thought.
Good advice for your daughters.

Hi XXX:  Read all your posts with Mom with girls.  Basically I agree with most everything you say.  I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills.  I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too.  I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills.  She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult.  She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married.  The father came along and helped with money to raise his child.  They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children.  She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father.  he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky.  Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story. 


All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by.  I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came.  I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids.  After all we all make mistakes.  Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice.  Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them. 


 


I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills.  I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out.  I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do?  Thanks for any info.
How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad.  Thanks for any input.
Two of my daughters have them on their lists. Found them at K-Mart for 29.99 nm
x
Some married people have separate accts just like
my husband and I. I don’t know what he has, what he makes each week- the only time we know really is when we do our taxes. He and I have our own banking accts but we are signed on just in case the need arises. It might work for her- does for me.
Separate bathrooms would definitely be great, or 1 huge one. Nix to the double
s
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
x
I named my daughters Katie Ann and Kelsey Nicole. sm
Our son is Kyle. I also like the name Kellen for a boy or a girl. Good luck!
I'd be totally ticked! Time for a compromise or separate
s